Feeling Exhausted

[Martin69]

Hi all,

Just feeling exhausted.

High-pitched, loud T. Difficult to handle every day.
The smallest things are difficult to do. It is just exhausting.
Not much anxiety today, but depressive and exhausted.
I lost my power, I am not functioning.

It is really strange. People say you must lose your anxiety.
And yesterday, I did not even listen to my T, although it was always audible.
It felt good. Not reacting, not listening. I had moments where it was so low yesterday.

Yes, I think it has much to do with anxiety, with thoughts, with reaction. But I feel like losing energy, energy making it through it. How to get power and energy for the next days, weeks, months?
If I run (very seldom), after 4 kms I feel like I ran a marathon.

Sorry for rambling. It is just that I feel exhausted and sometimes I don't know how to make it to the next day.
Then I read success stories and hope for God helping me.

Sorry guys, but sometimes it is really difficult staying positive.

Martin

 

[Markku]

And yesterday, I did not even listen to my T, although it was always audible.
It felt good. Not reacting, not listening. I had moments where it was so low yesterday.

Well, why couldn't you get more days like this?

Do you have any idea what made yesterday easier than the rest?

What makes you think yesterday couldn't become your normal?

If you don't mind thinking about it...

Markku

 

[Martin69]

Well, why couldn't you get more days like this?

Do you have any idea what made yesterday easier than the rest?

What makes you think yesterday couldn't become your normal?

If you don't mind thinking about it...

Markku

@Markku
Yesterday I just said to myself. F... T. Went to my football teams, enjoyed lunch with my wife in a nice restaurant.
Had moments where I thought, my T is low. And I stopped listening.

Why is again bad today? Met with friends, but the screaming in my head made it difficult. My tension was so high that I had to go out for a walk. Thought about the good old times, went down the depressive thought spiral. Here at home, we have some smaller things to do and want to go to Christmas market later. But I feel like I can only sit on the couch.

I am just exhausted. Thinking about how to make it through rest of my life with this power plant in my head. How to work? How to function? How to love?

I hoped and still hoping for habituation. But it is so loud and high-pitched, how can someone?

Sad, frustrated.

 

[Markku]

But it is so loud and high-pitched, how can someone?

I don't have the answer to that, unfortunately... It's been increasingly tough for me lately as well.

But I'm only thinking that you had just such a good day yesterday, saying f*ck to your tinnitus, going on about your life, that maybe you can eventually increase the number of such days.

You've now had tinnitus for a little over a year; do you think that those good days have become any more frequent?

Thinking about how to make it through rest of my life with this power plant in my head.

You'll just need to push forward. Think about the good things in your life. Even if tinnitus has taken all the color out of them and made them black and white. Try and believe that days like yesterday become the norm instead of the exception. Know that they are working on better treatments.

I think it's really good you aren't completely isolated though.

For more and more better days...

Markku

 

[Larry OT]

@Martin69
I'm reading a book called F**k It : the Ultimate Spritual Way and that's the attitude I'm bringing to my T.
Sometimes it works wonderfully, and other times I feel just like you. Energy zapped and depressed. It's a tough road but the F it attitude is what gets me over the hump sometimes.
Even now as I sit in a quiet day my gut is bracing for the worst and the anxiety mounts. It's a mind f**k for sure but I'm going to battle with how I get sucked down and I'm trying to keep my head and heart stable. It's easier on a quiet day.

My thoughts are with you and I hope you can have more of those f'n days as well.
All the strength in the world to you Martin.

Larry

 

[Martin69]

I don't have the answer to that, unfortunately... It's been increasingly tough for me lately as well.

But I'm only thinking that you had just such a good day yesterday, saying f*ck to your tinnitus, going on about your life, that maybe you can eventually increase the number of such days.

You've now had tinnitus for a little over a year; do you think that those good days have become any more frequent?


You'll just need to push forward. Think about the good things in your life. Even if tinnitus has taken all the color out of them and made them black and white. Try and believe that days like yesterday become the norm instead of the exception. Know that they are working on better treatments.

I think it's really good you aren't completely isolated though.

For more and more better days...

Markku

Hey Markku,

Yes, have read you also have a harder time currently.
New pitch? Louder?

I finally went with my family to the Christmas Market. Because people say, do what you would have done without T. So I do and it was ok.

But this masking or listening to this 24/7 is really exhausting. And if there are certain moments where I don't listen, it is on my mind nevertheless.

I have some better days behind me. But what are better days honestly? Where my anxiety is not too bad, where I had no panic attacks, where I slept well? The big issue is that life quality is much less with T. Tomorrow, another working week starts and I need all my energy making it through the day.

I really hope there will a treatment come. Because habituation, I don't know. It is really too loud that I can habituate to this - although TRT people say loudness and frequency doesn't matter.

Who in the world invneted such a BS named T?

 

[Telis]

Yeah same Martin. Pretty zapped...I'm in bed 14-16 hours a day, totally lost for energy. I do my best to get out for a walk with my dog but don't really go into public other than that. If you out and are enjoying yourself on certain days, this is possitive. I am waiting for one good day to build on. Unforionately I have not had one yet in almost a year since the onset of T. It doesn't sound like you have H or ear pain? If you don't be thankful for this. Having this pain on top of the noise is a nightmare, any little sound hurts, even the light switches in my home, this keeps me pretty isolated for now. I also have a hard time having a conversation or even watching TV at low volumes. I do it, but it hurts and wipes me out further mentally. I was a guy that was never sick, slept 6-8 hours max and had almost too much energy prior to T. I was a busy person...Tough adjustment to say the least. I'm doing what most say to do, giving it time. Not sure what this does, maybe let's reality sink in and your old pre T life fade out.

Anyway good luck, remember those good days when things get tough. I'm hoping to get one of those good days myself one day, hopefully soon!

 

[DutchGuy]

Telis and Martin, keep it up! One day I hope there will be cure.

 

[LadyDi]

Funny @Martin69, I was recently thinking of posting on this exact topic. Like you, I lately feel exhausted pretty much most of the day. I just hate it. Also have started feeling dizzy... Can't tell if it's lack of sleep or vertigo, please no, God. I agree that being on high alert all the time, with tinnitus stress and anxiety, eventually just wears you out.

 

[Martin69]

Yeah same Martin. Pretty zapped...I'm in bed 14-16 hours a day, totally lost for energy. I do my best to get out for a walk with my dog but don't really go into public other than that. If you out and are enjoying yourself on certain days, this is possitive. I am waiting for one good day to build on. Unforionately I have not had one yet in almost a year since the onset of T. It doesn't sound like you have H or ear pain? If you don't be thankful for this. Having this pain on top of the noise is a nightmare, any little sound hurts, even the light switches in my home, this keeps me pretty isolated for now. I also have a hard time having a conversation or even watching TV at low volumes. I do it, but it hurts and wipes me out further mentally. I was a guy that was never sick, slept 6-8 hours max and had almost too much energy prior to T. I was a busy person...Tough adjustment to say the least. I'm doing what most say to do, giving it time. Not sure what this does, maybe let's reality sink in and your old pre T life fade out.

Anyway good luck, remember those good days when things get tough. I'm hoping to get one of those good days myself one day, hopefully soon!

Hey @Telis,

I feel your pain man. What a BS?
Yes, I only have T, but loud, high-pitched and oscillating.
No H, no pain. T is pain enough for me.

Yes, I go out into the public, although I do not talk much with friends. I go mostly with my wife trying to have a little bit of normality.

But for working I stay at home. I am teleworker luckily. I could not work somewhere else. My tension, anxiety and depression is too high. Writing eMails from home, sometimes calling customers and talking with colleagues is ok. Nevertheless, I know what you mean. Staying most time at home makes one even more depressed.

Like you I am waiting and giving it time. Dr. Nagler says, habituation is a passive process. But I don't know. I think some cases are so severe that it will be difficult. It is all about if you can live with it or not. Most here (like you and me) are not there yet accepting it and living with it. I don't know what mentality is needed to just accept it. As a problem solver, all my energy goes into solving something, not accepting it. I don't know how long my pure brain needs accepting it.

And sometimes it is strange. For example when I say "F... T" and try having a good day, things are better. T goes into the background, at least for some minutes or sometimes little bit longer. But the noise is relentless. It comes into the foreground again and again.

We will make it. Sooner or later.
And maybe we are lucky and Autifony will help us.

Take care,
Martin

 

[Telis]

Hey @Telis,

I feel your pain man. What a BS?
Yes, I only have T, but loud, high-pitched and oscillating.
No H, no pain. T is pain enough for me.

Yes, I go out into the public, although I do not talk much with friends. I go mostly with my wife trying to have a little bit of normality.

But for working I stay at home. I am teleworker luckily. I could not work somewhere else. My tension, anxiety and depression is too high. Writing eMails from home, sometimes calling customers and talking with colleagues is ok. Nevertheless, I know what you mean. Staying most time at home makes one even more depressed.

Like you I am waiting and giving it time. Dr. Nagler says, habituation is a passive process. But I don't know. I think some cases are so severe that it will be difficult. It is all about if you can live with it or not. Most here (like you and me) are not there yet accepting it and living with it. I don't know what mentality is needed to just accept it. As a problem solver, all my energy goes into solving something, not accepting it. I don't know how long my pure brain needs accepting it.

And sometimes it is strange. For example when I say "F... T" and try having a good day, things are better. T goes into the background, at least for some minutes or sometimes little bit longer. But the noise is relentless. It comes into the foreground again and again.

We will make it. Sooner or later.
And maybe we are lucky and Autifony will help us.

Take care,
Martin

Yeah excepting it is tough, I feel broken and in some real agony all the time. Part of it is the fact that I don't even feel human anymore. These sounds are not of human nature. I feel like a malfunctioning machine with a short circuit or something. Walking around like this is just plain strange. Hard to except that this is the new normal. Guess we don't have a choice.

Take care man...hope you have another good day today.

 

[RaZaH]

I agree, I get the occasional glimpse into who I used to be which is even more depressing.
Right now , I havent slept since yesterday , screaming T , headache and feel like shit.
totally exhausted....

 

[Martin69]

@RaZaH , @Telis, @LadyDi
Men/Women, we must do something.
I feel like I am losing my energy, my energy to live with this.
Pushing me again and again, but it is so exhausting.
I challenge my dark thoughts, but where is the end of suffering?

 

[Carlos1]

@RaZaH , @Telis, @LadyDi
Men/Women, we must do something.
I feel like I am losing my energy, my energy to live with this.
Pushing me again and again, but it is so exhausting.
I challenge my dark thoughts, but where is the end of suffering?

Hey Martin I read your posts and sorry to hear you having a real difficult time....I too like you struggle to make it through the day I try to stay positive and I'll have a good day or two but like you said T is relentless and exhausting and takes all my energy by the time I get home from work I'll I can think about is medicating myself so I can sleep and shut the T off. I try to convince myself that we'll have a cure in the next few years and it gives me hope ....Its scary to think about a cure not happening cuz I'm not so sure I'll be able to handle that...... I need to know that a cure is coming and that I just have to hang on....
Please take care of yourself

 

[Martin69]

Hey Martin I read your posts and sorry to hear you having a real difficult time....I too like you struggle to make it through the day I try to stay positive and I'll have a good day or two but like you said T is relentless and exhausting and takes all my energy by the time I get home from work I'll I can think about is medicating myself so I can sleep and shut the T off. I try to convince myself that we'll have a cure in the next few years and it gives me hope ....Its scary to think about a cure not happening cuz I'm not so sure I'll be able to handle that...... I need to know that a cure is coming and that I just have to hang on....
Please take care of yourself

Hey Carlos,
Yes my friend. We sit in the same boat.
Sorry for the negative thread on Monday.
Yes, there will be a cure sooner or later.
Or we will learn to live with it.
Many people made it and took between 1.5 and 2.5 years.
So let's continue on this journey.

 

[Marlino]

@Martin69 This thread is now about 2 years old.
You were then into it for a year line me now.

How do you feel when you read your old posts now?
Still the same or did it improve?

Viele Grüße aus Tübingen
Martin

 

[Penate]

Well unfortunately for my 2 years now and still the same probably worst, multiple sounds in my ears,power transformer in my head, reactive and hyperacusiss,look like this horrendous nightmare never going to end, please god help us.