Feeling Suicidal with Pulsatile Tinnitus

[KayG]

Hello everyone, I'm new here and found this site through sheer desperation of finding some help. I've had normal tinnitus for over 20 years but that doesn't bother me as I've learnt to cope with it. However since last year I suddenly developed pulsatile tinnitus.

I woke up one night convinced I could hear an engine running outside, but it was in my head. So far I've seen ENT who said my hearing was fine so I was referred to a neurologist. He said I need an MRI scan and an angiogram.

The waiting list for the MRI is 5 months and I'm really not coping well. It gets so loud that I feel the urge to bang my head up the wall to try and stop the vibration. I really can't go on like this and I've felt suicidal at times as it's literally driving me crazy.

My GP has given me some diazepam to use when it gets really extreme, but even that doesn't calm me down.

Please can anyone tell me of anything that quiets down the pulsating vibrations while I'm waiting to find the cause?

Thank you just for reading this x

 

[Marc22]

Dear KG:

I just wanted to say hello, and make sure you know that you are not being ignored. That being said ,I have nothing to recommend. It is quite understandable that you are sometimes feeling suicidal. I ended up in a psych ward because of suicidal depression last january, so I know what it is like. Luckily I am better , and the depression was, I think, related to conditions I can probably change. But depression related to a condition that maybe cannot be changed is another matter... But from what I have seen over the years ,hyperacusis and tinnitus can often improve. When these conditions are bad it is a constant torment and I know what that is like also.

Right now I have no place to live ,so that is worrying me. Where to find a place in a noisy city ? I do not want to end up in a room somewhere in a busy street from which I can't come out. See my story posted 2 days ago.

Good luck!

Marco

 

[GregCA]

The waiting list for the MRI is 5 months and I'm really not coping well. It gets so loud that I feel the urge to bang my head up the wall to try and stop the vibration. I really can't go on like this and I've felt suicidal at times as it's literally driving me crazy.

A lot of us in here have been there. You're at the beginning of the diagnosis process, so there is hope. Try to speed up the process if you can (not sure where you are to have to wait 5 months for an MRI), and hang in in there.

I've had pulsatile T for a while (in addition to my regular T), and then it went away on its own.

 

[TimfromPgh]

Hi Kay, may I suggest posting in the Pusitile Tinnitus forum under Support? I think the folks who frequent there will be able to help you better and have more knowledge on your condition than the folks in the Hyperacusis and Ear Pain forum. Good luck and hope you feel better soon. We are all in this tinnitus thing together. I have never known such pain and hopelessness as when my t got worse from work related noise exposure.

 

[KayG]

Thank you all for being so kind and understanding. Unless you experience it, people have no idea the distress it causes xx

 

[BobK544]

Yes KayG you will get better, either your increased Tinnitus will go away very probably or if it doesn't you will get used to the new sound and we've all felt the same way you're feeling now, but just take it 1 hour, 1 day at a time and eventually you will develop a mental callous to the new sound, just like i/many of us have done. But it does take about 4 to 6 months to get where we're at ok, but eventually your brain will get used to the new sound and decide not to keep generating anxiety and heart palpitations over it, so definitely know you will get "mentally better" and also know that there are a lot of scientific efforts going on right now that sound very promising!

 

[Marc22]

Have not been able to post for a few days. In the meantime I was thinking a lot about you and your plight.I wish I could do something!

Marco

 

[jjflyman]

Thank you all for being so kind and understanding. Unless you experience it, people have no idea the distress it causes xx

Absolutely true.
People have no idea how T can affect someones quality of life.

 

[1000]

She hasn't been back since July....

 

[GregCA]

She hasn't been back since July....

Many people leave for a variety of reasons.