Feelings! How You Felt First, What Help You Had, How You Feel Now

[glynis]

In this thread I hope people can post about their feelings when they first got tinnitus,what help they had to cope with their feelings and how they are now.

Tinnitus comes with so many unwanted feelings as tinnitus invades our life and takes away our silent hearing.
We can feel , sad,low,depressed,nervous ,stressed,anxious,panic,panic attacks, sick ,dizzy,lack of sleep ,angry ,alone .
Tinnitus effects us socially ,emotionally,physically as well as the sound itself .
We have help from doctors,nurse,ENT, audiology ,CBT,TRT,family,friends,forums, MIND and The Samaritans .

In this thread it will be lovely for newcomers to read how you felt at first with tinnitus, what help you had ,how you feel now to help others in a positive move forward to help them deal with the tinnitus sound itself...lol glynis

 

[Dawn Whinetaker]

In terms of help- I have not been helped yet, but I've tried many things and I'm continuing to try new things as we speak. When I first got tinnitus (nearly two years ago) I was confused and a bit irritated. I thought it'd go away faster than it has (don't we all assume that though?). I then began to feel very frustrated and helpless. After about the first six months, I decided I wasn't going to let it continue to alter my life, and decided to have a more positive attitude about it. Even if I'm not cured, I can live a functioning, normal life with tinnitus. And if I am cured- fantastic, I'm more humble and I've known how other's have struggled because of my experience.

 

[uae96]

I remember when I first read tinnitus is permanent in most cases , I just looked at the mirror and I'm like "fuck this noise is going to be there my whole life " And Felt really sad and regretful wnd didn't go to uni or work for a month and I was doing my pilot training program to become an airline pilot it was my dream job , but I got a dismissal letter because of my absence I just couldn't fly anymore with hyperacusis and fear of worsening of tinnitus . So it literally shattered my dreams , but I am a true believer of "evertthing happens for a reason " maybe I could've crashed in my near future with one of these planes who knows maybe my tinnitus would get 10 x worse from loud engines but I am much better now starting to do the normal things I used to do even with moderate hyperacusis that got much better than the begging with some excersise and a good diet

I just hope we could find a cure I really still dream of becoming an airline pilot I'm only 19 and its to young to suffer from this sh*t
Uae96

 

[Inge]

When it started I was overwhelmed. One month in I was so sleepdeprived, anxious and depressed that I started crying when I left the ENT office after being told " no cure, learn to live with it". One month after that T became so loud I was desperate and suicidal. In the last 6 months however my in ear maskers have relieved and reduced my T by a lot. It is still there but in the background. It can and does get better.

 

[linearb]

I was riddled with interminable anxiety and angst for years before I developed tinnitus.

I have learned that for me, the process of sifting through and dealing with all of that shit, is more or less the exact same process as sifting through and dealing with my tinnitus.

It's a pain in the ass; before all this nonsense I had the wonderful delusion that life was simple, easy and comfortable.

 

[billie48]

A few years back I was overwhelmed with ultra high pitched loud T. Worse I was also attacked soon after by severe hyperacusis. All normal sounds turned glassy in quality, and were piercingly hurtful to my senses as if being drilled constantly. I had to wear earplugs all the time, but the plugs blocked off all outside masking sounds, making the harsh T shrill so dominant and unbearable. I had to choose the lesser of two evils and there was no lesser choice between T & H. The brain saw no way out and it caved into relentless panic attacks, being that I was a panic prone person before T & H. So besides the horror of T & H, I also had to face the terrible symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks all day. I had to depend on meds just to survive each long, dark day.

I thought I would never recover from such 'hell' of a life. But never say never. I am here back to normal today, living an absolutely enjoyable and productive life. I even travel often after T, even taking long flights and went on cruises. I went back to enjoy all that I used to enjoy. Life is beautiful now.

 

[Naddesh]

Im never active here anymore, cause I find it easier to get on with my life not spending more time on T-thoughts. But just wanted to say to all newbies:

I felt like a dead fish the first weeks. Omg, WHO WAS I? I could not recognize myself, it was super scary. I didnt want to live. I was so scared. Panic all the time, could not sleep more than 3 hours "deep" sleep. Couldnt be alone. Refused to mask, because I wanted to hear it all the time IN CASE it would go away hahah so stupid. But then I got better after three weeks. Very slooooowly. Not the sound really, (maybe I dont know because I dont analyse it so) and now I have had high pitched sounds and crickets in my ears, for 7 weeks now, and I still do everything like I did before. I still laugh, I still can be happy. I CAN SIT IN SILENCE. Because, my thoughts are no longer "Omg, Its still there omg omg omg omg I hate it".. It's more like "Hmm whats new on netflix? Hmm I want to do some net shopping... Hmmm So clean here in this room. Hmmm wow my flowers havent died yet".. You are going to be normal. Slowly, but you will get there. I promise. Go on with your life. This is the most important: DONT BE SCARED. Believe things will be better. Believe that it could go away, but if it doesnt - things will get way better. You will look back and see how much progress you have done.

Peace and love. /Nadine

 

[Clive Cottrell]

I went from normality to tinnitus in a click of the fingers. I was driving my mini bus on the afternoon school run when the nine juniors aged between five and ten decided to scream and shout as loudly as they could. What I imagine was just a prank has left me with intrusive hissing in my right ear! I have now been plagued with this for over five years now. Does this not prove how easily one can become afflicted with T without warning and the need to protect your ears when you know you will be in a noisy invirorment. Mercifully I do get days when it goes off altogether, so twenty four hours of silence. Wonderfull. Unfortunately it always comes back. So I suppose it would be described as transient. My demeanour improves one hundred % on a quiet day. CC

 

[Dawn Whinetaker]

So it literally shattered my dreams , but I am a true believer of "evertthing happens for a reason "
Uae96

I really like that attitude and I feel like that is SO important. You ARE young (as am I- 23), and I do believe we'll find some kind of cure eventually! I keep trying new things. I'm determined to find my own cure if I have to. Something's gotta help. But kudos to you for finding the positive. The 'everything happens for a reason' ideal is something I live by as well. It really does, though- everything happens for a reason. The tough part is finding out what that reason is.

 

[SoulStation]

I don't think there's any reason for people to have to suffer from T. Not to say that you can't find positives from it but I'll say I HIGHLY disagree with that type of mind set when it comes to something like T. Shit happens for no good reason to good people. That's life and we go on but there's no good reason for this .

 

[meeruf]

I was overwhelmed with tinnitus after a small dive at a swimming hall here in Norway late summer 2013.

The first week was nothing more then what I can describe as a jumbo jet inside my right ear. I did not have a bad reaction in the beginning, because I expected it to go away after some days. But, after 2 weeks, I was a total wreak. I had started to loose all hope for this crap to ever get better. I had no reduction in my tinnitus the first 3-4 weeks. After 2 weeks I found this forum and posted my first post pretty fast.

After those two first weeks, I felt like a sinking ship constant the next six months.

The help I got from the Norwegian health care system in the beginning was really bad. Not that I really can blame the system that much, since there actually is no cure. I got a free appointment with psychologist, but they pretty much said they had no experience with tinnitus.

After about six months I started to feel gradually better. But it was not before this summer I actually felt that my life is back to normal again. So, it took about 2 years to fully habituate. With habituate I mean not just coping, but actually do all the things I did before T. This summer I have been in 5 countries, a wedding, started to go out in pubs again etc.

It's been a tough ride, but I have also learned a lot. In some ways I am glad I've had this experience.

 

[gintas]

A few years back I was overwhelmed with ultra high pitched loud T. Worse I was also attacked soon after by severe hyperacusis. All normal sounds turned glassy in quality, and were piercingly hurtful to my senses as if being drilled constantly. I had to wear earplugs all the time, but the plugs blocked off all outside masking sounds, making the harsh T shrill so dominant and unbearable. I had to choose the lesser of two evils and there was no lesser choice between T & H. The brain saw no way out and it caved into relentless panic attacks, being that I was a panic prone person before T & H. So besides the horror of T & H, I also had to face the terrible symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks all day. I had to depend on meds just to survive each long, dark day.

I thought I would never recover from such 'hell' of a life. But never say never. I am here back to normal today, living an absolutely enjoyable and productive life. I even travel often after T, even taking long flights and went on cruises. I went back to enjoy all that I used to enjoy. Life is beautiful now.

are you habbituated to T using meds ?

 

[billie48]

@gintas, no, using meds only to survive the anxiety and panic attacks, depression and to get some sleep. For brevity about my recovery and habituation, please read my success story for detail on how to turn from 'Darkness to Light....'.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/from-darkness-to-light-how-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/