Carol... Yes, this is continually aggravating question for many of us tinnitus folks. How come "GI Joe" (no disrespect to your friend - I too had army buddies) can blow things up at mega volume, shoot guns till the cows come home, relax in a bar with music playing at body smashing levels, never wear earplugs, and indeed also have tinnitus from it all, but is "unfazed" by it???!!!
The ringing or whatever, does not seem to bother him or so many others like him/or her. In fact the statistics tell us it's the norm for the condition. Most people "ignore" it or get used to it and carry on living their lives with no particular attention to noise levels, etc.
Well to me, there is a really simple answer as I experienced exactly this attitude and ability for the 'first' volume level with my tinnitus. Yeah, I had the ringing, but it never spiked or got louder if I was at loud parties, or in the London Tube (which was even noisier back then), or at a concert, etc., etc. Yes I had tinnitus but once I adapted to it it was a non event and I never wore ear protection. Did not bother me at all.
Then things changed with 'level two'. The volume got louder. [And I don't give a darn whether this is considered "perception" or "subjective" or "brain dancing"...the reality to me, was very clearly, that the volume level in my head was louder and more annoying. It was not just audible in very quiet places. I could hear it in any semi-quiet place and at about normal conversation level, but not if there was a lot of ambient background noise, etc.].
So back the the story...With 'level two' I got a bit more cautious, as it was more difficult to adapt to than the initial volume and took a few years before I "forgot about it" more or less. However, I did notice that it would get louder if I was around loud music, or driving a tractor for long periods of time ploughing a field all day, and so on. Also, if a car back-fired near me I got a "spike" for a few minutes then it would settle back down to its 'level two'. I began to wear earmuffs if driving loud equipment, and earplugs if in a disco bar. Why? Well, simply because the louder ringing for days afterwards if I did not was somewhat annoying. However, as it always went back to baseline 'level two' I wasn't particularly concerned. Situation normal, I lived life pretty much as I wished.
OK back to our "GI Joe" example... From many talks about this (e.g. my brother falls into this category, and a number of friends over the years), their tinnitus behaves pretty much like my 'level one' or perhaps like 'level two'. Thus it is pretty darn easy to just ignore it and accept it and adapt to it. Maybe, with age, some increased sensitivity to sound can start to develop, but a few beers can solve that. [My brother is 65 and now admits that he finds movies rather unbearable as it sort of "hurts", so he sticks some cotton in his ears].
Ahaaaa...now we come to the rub! It "hurts"!!!
We humans tend to not like things hurting for the most part. Whether it be physical, emotional, or "psychological". Avoidance is a pretty basic reaction if possible.
Now let's jump to 'level three' and 'level four' of my tinnitus. "Hurt" takes on new meaning for internal brain-sound-nerve-perception-whatever experience. I'll skip the gory details. The essence is, that loud or even medium loud sound avoidance is essential. Even with hearing protection noise comes in through the bones in the skull, etc., etc. Habituation become a real challenge when spikes and mind-numbing internal volume become very, very common in everyday life. Protection is not feasible to catch every "zapping" sound outcome and yet try and keep 'open hearing' and some sort of life outside isolation at home active too.
In short, life becomes "difficult"! Sound becomes something to be hyper vigilant of. Humans are unpredictable and noisy, so social life changes accordingly...For simplicity, lets just call this "reactive tinnitus" (hyperacusis is in there of course by this stage).
So, back to your question: WHY can't i have the same out look towards it? his life certainly isn't over so why do i think mine is?
Well, there is no simple answer as so many 'personal' factors are involved that I don't know about (and from the minimal info I see on your profile, you actually have not had tinnitus for that long, so TIME is on your side yet)...but this I do know. The potential for increased tinnitus damage is very real. The possibility for very, very life-altering (in a not good way) tinnitus is real. The likelihood of further tinnitus damage once one has tinnitus or has had it...is I think more likely than for those who never get it. (This is just a hunch not scientific fact as far as I know). The ability to habituate to very loud tinnitus is much more difficult than lower volume tinnitus (self evident), especially if the "hurt" level goes up (hyperacusis most likely, which can enter the picture).
Thus, knowing this, it seems to me that one possible reason you can't just shine it off and be like your army friend, is that you are not being an idiot!!!
Learning about your condition and knowing that for some people it CAN and DOES get worse is just a very, very useful thing to bear in mind. Not to be terrified by, or intimidated by, but to be sensible about. And yes, thinking about this all does most likely increase your "awareness" (perception) of your tinnitus, but initially, I don't think that is a bad thing! Awareness is good if it educates you to a point where you avoid a potential worsening of your condition and the "hurt" that can cause. Permanent hurt. Not good.
So don't be too hard on yourself. In my opinion you are doing the right thing by gleaning what you can from this site (I sure wish I had this all those years ago!) and also trying the numerous methods to aid with adaption that might suit you. There are scads of great options discussed in detail. Yeah, and I include meds in there too if necessary.
Just hang in there. Rant against the unfairness of it all occasionally as it IS unfair....but in time you may end up being like your friend and able to ignore your tinnitus completely. By then you will also probably know if you have "reactive tinnitus" aspects or not. If so with knowledge, and experience, and learning tricks and tips from this site, you may be able to avoid "level four"...and live happily ever after. I sure hope so.
Take care, and all the best... Zimichael