I've been coming here for the last year or so when things get real bad. It's always seemed to help a little knowing that there's so many other people out there suffering like me. That understand my pain, stress, anxiety. These are all words I used to think were made up. And it makes me feel weak to know them now. I was an airborne infantryman in the 82nd. I carried a 240B (machine gun) in the army for most of my 4 years in. Whenever it came time to unleashed that 7.62 fury, you can't always put ear pro in.
So basically, it destroyed my ears. Things we're rough when I got out. Wife wanted me to get out but ended up leaving me the day I got out. I had planned on starting school but instead went into contruction for money and lack of motivation. 2 years later I can say it wasn't the right choice. It has been nothing but loud stress. I started using ear pro more and more. It has got to the point where they're in all day. Which I'm positive is what led to now having hyperacusis. I can't take normal conversation volume, the gym is too loud, can't use headphones (unless they're off for gym ear pro), dishes suck, going out to eat sucks, water bottles are my arch nemesis, everything is just rough. That's suffering.
And I wouldn't admit for the longest time that I was suffering as much as some buddies I have that got really messed up. But it's all relative I guess. I don't even collect disability for it. And it's definitely a disability. I can't do shit.
Now for the positive. I met the most amazing girl. She understands and does everything possible to help me. Talks quiet, never slams anything, we cook and clean quietly. She has massaged my neck and shoulders for hours almost daily! She always reminds people to talk quietly. She'll stop someone if they clap around me for no reason. She'll plug my left ear if there is a loud noise. She is too good to be true. My tinnitus would've consumed me by now if it wasn't for her.
I've tried a lot of things. I haven't smoked a cig in years, I don't drink more than a beer at a time, I've cleaned up my diet. I used to use THC to help cope but I think it has made in worse. I'm still on the fence about trying straight CBD. But I'm at the point of "why not?" I've decided to get out of construction and go back to school with my earned GI bill. I think it will be a quieter setting. But most importantly, we all must find a way to avoid stress. It's a catch 22 though. Because T and H are nothing but stress. Sorry for the long read, I've just wanted to say this for awhile since coming here.
So basically, it destroyed my ears. Things we're rough when I got out. Wife wanted me to get out but ended up leaving me the day I got out. I had planned on starting school but instead went into contruction for money and lack of motivation. 2 years later I can say it wasn't the right choice. It has been nothing but loud stress. I started using ear pro more and more. It has got to the point where they're in all day. Which I'm positive is what led to now having hyperacusis. I can't take normal conversation volume, the gym is too loud, can't use headphones (unless they're off for gym ear pro), dishes suck, going out to eat sucks, water bottles are my arch nemesis, everything is just rough. That's suffering.
And I wouldn't admit for the longest time that I was suffering as much as some buddies I have that got really messed up. But it's all relative I guess. I don't even collect disability for it. And it's definitely a disability. I can't do shit.
Now for the positive. I met the most amazing girl. She understands and does everything possible to help me. Talks quiet, never slams anything, we cook and clean quietly. She has massaged my neck and shoulders for hours almost daily! She always reminds people to talk quietly. She'll stop someone if they clap around me for no reason. She'll plug my left ear if there is a loud noise. She is too good to be true. My tinnitus would've consumed me by now if it wasn't for her.
I've tried a lot of things. I haven't smoked a cig in years, I don't drink more than a beer at a time, I've cleaned up my diet. I used to use THC to help cope but I think it has made in worse. I'm still on the fence about trying straight CBD. But I'm at the point of "why not?" I've decided to get out of construction and go back to school with my earned GI bill. I think it will be a quieter setting. But most importantly, we all must find a way to avoid stress. It's a catch 22 though. Because T and H are nothing but stress. Sorry for the long read, I've just wanted to say this for awhile since coming here.
Member
Manager
I can only imagine how loud it gets when that thing starts to fire in a closed space. But like you said it's not always possible to put the ear plugs in when it's a life or death situation, and of course you have to pull those things out sometimes.
Rest assured that you are not alone with this affliction. Everyone's story is different, but many people have it. The thing about tinnitus is that you never know who has it and who doesn't. People don't easily talk about it. It's invisible that way.
