Hi all, I've been getting a ton of support by reading threads on this site for the past three of months, and have finally taken the plunge and set up an account to introduce myself.
An acoustic trauma - specifically, a close range firecracker pop to my left ear while in Spain this summer - started my journey with tinnitus and hyperacusis. From constant screeching in my ear to running water that sounded like amplified breaking glass to robotic voices everywhere, those early days thrust me into the depths of despair, confusion and suicidal ideation that so many of you know well.
The primary purpose of my trip to Spain was to walk a weeklong piece of the Camino de Santiago with an old friend. I started that walk just a few days after my acoustic trauma, and while I would not recommend suffering through the combination of auditory/psychological distress and the physical rigor of 20-30 km days on the Camino, it did provide a unique level of crisis that allowed me to step into some ego shedding and spiritual opening.
After my time on the Camino, I returned to the US, though rather than going straight home, I spent several more weeks traveling to visit friends and family. Throughout my travels, I received a lot of emotional support, and was also able to see an audiologist, who basically told me that my hearing was still pretty good - not exactly a comfort, since I was still feeling quite catastrophic about my condition, but one less thing to worry about.
I have since returned home and resumed my regular work and family life. Somehow, amazingly, I'm just living. Over the past three months, it's clear that I'm on a path of healing, even though my tinnitus continues to be constant and intrusive (especially the spikes that are caused by auditory input). I'm not sure it's fair to continue to say that I suffer from hyperacusis - it's mild enough that I've begun referring to it as sound sensitivity. I'm grateful for the positive improvements, even though I would definitely like all of my auditory issues to go away.
Grieving the loss of silence, holding the uncertainty about whether I'll ever return to beloved activities like singing in a band or taking long runs while listening to podcasts through earbuds, and managing my "half empty" habit of mind when the tinnitus is loud are some of my new everyday struggles.
My intention for being in this community is simply to give and receive support. I'm also interested in what others have tried on their paths through the challenges of living with tinnitus and hyperacusis. Personally, I've experimented with mindfulness practices, basic TRT practices, white noise generators, supplements, antidepressants and the Safe & Sound protocol. Speaking only for myself, I have a suspicion that time and natural healing are probably as powerful as anything else I've tried. Nevertheless, I am constantly asking what more I can do.
As I sign off on this introduction, I want to thank all of you from whom I've derived support over these past three months. I've appreciated the super-positive voices, the nerdy-specific descriptions, and the stories of horror and woe - all of them have helped me feel less alone, and I hope that I can return the favor in the future!
An acoustic trauma - specifically, a close range firecracker pop to my left ear while in Spain this summer - started my journey with tinnitus and hyperacusis. From constant screeching in my ear to running water that sounded like amplified breaking glass to robotic voices everywhere, those early days thrust me into the depths of despair, confusion and suicidal ideation that so many of you know well.
The primary purpose of my trip to Spain was to walk a weeklong piece of the Camino de Santiago with an old friend. I started that walk just a few days after my acoustic trauma, and while I would not recommend suffering through the combination of auditory/psychological distress and the physical rigor of 20-30 km days on the Camino, it did provide a unique level of crisis that allowed me to step into some ego shedding and spiritual opening.
After my time on the Camino, I returned to the US, though rather than going straight home, I spent several more weeks traveling to visit friends and family. Throughout my travels, I received a lot of emotional support, and was also able to see an audiologist, who basically told me that my hearing was still pretty good - not exactly a comfort, since I was still feeling quite catastrophic about my condition, but one less thing to worry about.
I have since returned home and resumed my regular work and family life. Somehow, amazingly, I'm just living. Over the past three months, it's clear that I'm on a path of healing, even though my tinnitus continues to be constant and intrusive (especially the spikes that are caused by auditory input). I'm not sure it's fair to continue to say that I suffer from hyperacusis - it's mild enough that I've begun referring to it as sound sensitivity. I'm grateful for the positive improvements, even though I would definitely like all of my auditory issues to go away.
Grieving the loss of silence, holding the uncertainty about whether I'll ever return to beloved activities like singing in a band or taking long runs while listening to podcasts through earbuds, and managing my "half empty" habit of mind when the tinnitus is loud are some of my new everyday struggles.
My intention for being in this community is simply to give and receive support. I'm also interested in what others have tried on their paths through the challenges of living with tinnitus and hyperacusis. Personally, I've experimented with mindfulness practices, basic TRT practices, white noise generators, supplements, antidepressants and the Safe & Sound protocol. Speaking only for myself, I have a suspicion that time and natural healing are probably as powerful as anything else I've tried. Nevertheless, I am constantly asking what more I can do.
As I sign off on this introduction, I want to thank all of you from whom I've derived support over these past three months. I've appreciated the super-positive voices, the nerdy-specific descriptions, and the stories of horror and woe - all of them have helped me feel less alone, and I hope that I can return the favor in the future!