- Jul 20, 2017
- 38
- Tinnitus Since
- 11/2016
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Noise Trauma ~ Wedding Reception
So I was really hoping I wouldn't have to write one of these posts, but here I am...
This past weekend was my family's Easter. We're Ukrainian, and celebrate on the Orthodox calendar. It all started after stopping at a grocery store that I don't usually stop at. I have safe zones, where I know I can be earplug free, and zones where I know plugging is necessary. This particular Shop Rite is a plug zone, but as I was in the card section of the store, it was nice and quiet, so figured I'd take the plugs out. I was doing okay with my experimentation, until I got to the checkout, and yup, you guessed it, the beeps were too damn loud. One of the beeps felt like it went deeply into my left ear (the more sensitive ear), and I was angry when driving away, because I felt the beginnings of that familiar fullness.
I arrived at my parent's place, was greeted by them, sister, and brother in law. The only significant noise exposure then was my sister playing piano, which I used to love, because she's pretty good, but plugged up after a little while. Then came church the next day, which is a no brainer plug up. But the thing that got me was my aunt's house. For some reason I decided to have 3.5 beers, which right there tells me something about my emotional state, since I stopped drinking long before I even got my T & H, which is now around 1 year 5 months old. I decided not to wear plugs in the house, figuring I'd be okay, but not fully factoring in that things can get pretty noisy inside a small house. I also don't like to overprotect my ears, because I know all about how H can get worse through that. Well, my one cousin is a loud talker, and other people getting excited within a small house, over the course of a few hours seems to have done me in. I also didn't factor in that alcohol makes your tensor tympani and stapedius reflex sluggish, so without drinking I'd definitely be in better shape. There wasn't any loud amplified noise at my aunt's house, but being around loud / excited people without plugs was enough. There was close talking / near yelling by my ears, but I was just trying to have a good time and be 'normal.'
Well, that was the last time I'm doing that, because I'm not normal, none of us on this board really are. I wanted to stop thinking about my ears for a while / intensely focusing on whoever is talking to me because I decided to wear plugs. Now I feel like I'm back to square one. Not surprisingly, my left ear has more fullness than my right, so that symptom is back. T has spiked significantly as well, especially in the left ear, and while I can hear just fine, it feels muffled / less acuity. A bit of sound sensitivity / T reactivity / soreness. I know, it's only been three days since the weekend, give it some time, but I'm feeling like an incredible failure right now. I knew what to do, I've been at this long enough, I've developed good protection practices. After evaluating myself on a long walk yesterday, I feel like alcohol was the chain reaction. Maybe getting a minor injury from something as minor as checkout beeps pissed me off so much, that I decided to self destruct a bit. Who knows, there are several reasons why I decided to add alcohol into the mix, but it was a mistake, because it's a loud drug, and makes you loud as well / not care as much about the pain you'll have to deal with tomorrow as a consequence.
I woke up on Monday with sore ears, and when I got out of bed, felt a pressure shift in my left ear, which instantly led to a change in T. I cursed myself, because I knew then that I was entering a temporary threshold shift. And sure enough, I still have the fullness / soreness / spiked T / sensitivity / pain, and am on the verge of freaking out, which I know is exactly what you're not supposed to do. Luckily I have some quality cannabis oil to keep me calm, and I also drink mushroom tea (reishi for calm, lion's mane for nerve regeneration.) But still, I'm so angry at myself right now, because I was doing so well. I remember walking before this weekend, thinking 'wow, my ears are pretty good right now', and patting myself on the back. When I have to be social, I've been a ninja at going in and out of situations unscathed. So why now? Why overlook the need for protection, and take two, three or more steps back from my progress? All questions I've been hammering myself with lately. On my walk yesterday, I had to plug up twice because of dogs barking at me. Is there some kind of conspiracy lately, to mess with my ears? Sure feels that way sometimes! But in the end it's all our own faults, and that's painful to realize once you stop projecting blame.
I've been looking into Prednisone, and have been strongly considering it, but really don't want to pump my body full of steroids. It suppresses the immune system to reduce inflammation, I know that's the idea, but the nerve healing mushroom teas I've been drinking strengthen the immune system, so I feel like it would be an unnecessary yin / yang battle within my system that I don't need right now. I'm not willing to give up the mushrooms for Prednisone, because of their deep nervous system calming / nerve regeneration abilities. And I also don't want to deal with the messy steroid side effects I've read about. Believe it or not, I'm still recovering from the alcohol, which is affecting me because my tolerance is 0 these days.
I made the decision to not go the steroid route on my walk, and it wasn't an easy one to make (never is,) just in case there's some actual damage there that needs allopathic medicine. But I've decided to go the homeopathic route, which is what I'm most experienced with. I just ordered another bottle of fish oil, and will be taking that for inflammation / NAC for free radicals and oto-protective benefits / other supplements, as well as eating sardines / salmon / avocado / eggs. I think it's all an inflammation thing, at least I'm hoping it is. From reading snippets of things on these forums / other places, I have a theory about 're-damaging' an already damaged auditory system. I think when noise exposure isn't insanely loud / obviously damaging, the fullness could be an H symptom of auditory fatigue (having to do with tensor tympani etc), and no permanent damage was done to the inner ear, just some inflammation, and that's what causes the increased T, until you can get that inflammation back down. Those muscles in the ear causing fullness are actually protecting the inner ear, but they're inflamed from fatigue / over-exposure, and it causes all these symptoms. So that's what I'll be working on... reducing inflammation. I just hope I'm not wrong to go the non-steroid route. Not sure if it's necessary, although my symptoms are pretty bad right now. You know how it is, playing this guessing game of how much damage was done, and how intensely should you react to it. But reducing inflammation in a natural way, that doesn't mess with your body's innate intelligence / hormones is what I've been doing since onset in November 2016, and it got me to a pretty good state before this weekend. It just totally breaks me that I have to do it all over again.
Anyway, I deeply empathize with anyone going through something similar right now. It's downright scary, and you keep beating yourself up over it, which only makes the symptoms worse, because you need to calm down your nervous system in the first place. Hopefully our spikes / flare-ups will settle soon.
This past weekend was my family's Easter. We're Ukrainian, and celebrate on the Orthodox calendar. It all started after stopping at a grocery store that I don't usually stop at. I have safe zones, where I know I can be earplug free, and zones where I know plugging is necessary. This particular Shop Rite is a plug zone, but as I was in the card section of the store, it was nice and quiet, so figured I'd take the plugs out. I was doing okay with my experimentation, until I got to the checkout, and yup, you guessed it, the beeps were too damn loud. One of the beeps felt like it went deeply into my left ear (the more sensitive ear), and I was angry when driving away, because I felt the beginnings of that familiar fullness.
I arrived at my parent's place, was greeted by them, sister, and brother in law. The only significant noise exposure then was my sister playing piano, which I used to love, because she's pretty good, but plugged up after a little while. Then came church the next day, which is a no brainer plug up. But the thing that got me was my aunt's house. For some reason I decided to have 3.5 beers, which right there tells me something about my emotional state, since I stopped drinking long before I even got my T & H, which is now around 1 year 5 months old. I decided not to wear plugs in the house, figuring I'd be okay, but not fully factoring in that things can get pretty noisy inside a small house. I also don't like to overprotect my ears, because I know all about how H can get worse through that. Well, my one cousin is a loud talker, and other people getting excited within a small house, over the course of a few hours seems to have done me in. I also didn't factor in that alcohol makes your tensor tympani and stapedius reflex sluggish, so without drinking I'd definitely be in better shape. There wasn't any loud amplified noise at my aunt's house, but being around loud / excited people without plugs was enough. There was close talking / near yelling by my ears, but I was just trying to have a good time and be 'normal.'
Well, that was the last time I'm doing that, because I'm not normal, none of us on this board really are. I wanted to stop thinking about my ears for a while / intensely focusing on whoever is talking to me because I decided to wear plugs. Now I feel like I'm back to square one. Not surprisingly, my left ear has more fullness than my right, so that symptom is back. T has spiked significantly as well, especially in the left ear, and while I can hear just fine, it feels muffled / less acuity. A bit of sound sensitivity / T reactivity / soreness. I know, it's only been three days since the weekend, give it some time, but I'm feeling like an incredible failure right now. I knew what to do, I've been at this long enough, I've developed good protection practices. After evaluating myself on a long walk yesterday, I feel like alcohol was the chain reaction. Maybe getting a minor injury from something as minor as checkout beeps pissed me off so much, that I decided to self destruct a bit. Who knows, there are several reasons why I decided to add alcohol into the mix, but it was a mistake, because it's a loud drug, and makes you loud as well / not care as much about the pain you'll have to deal with tomorrow as a consequence.
I woke up on Monday with sore ears, and when I got out of bed, felt a pressure shift in my left ear, which instantly led to a change in T. I cursed myself, because I knew then that I was entering a temporary threshold shift. And sure enough, I still have the fullness / soreness / spiked T / sensitivity / pain, and am on the verge of freaking out, which I know is exactly what you're not supposed to do. Luckily I have some quality cannabis oil to keep me calm, and I also drink mushroom tea (reishi for calm, lion's mane for nerve regeneration.) But still, I'm so angry at myself right now, because I was doing so well. I remember walking before this weekend, thinking 'wow, my ears are pretty good right now', and patting myself on the back. When I have to be social, I've been a ninja at going in and out of situations unscathed. So why now? Why overlook the need for protection, and take two, three or more steps back from my progress? All questions I've been hammering myself with lately. On my walk yesterday, I had to plug up twice because of dogs barking at me. Is there some kind of conspiracy lately, to mess with my ears? Sure feels that way sometimes! But in the end it's all our own faults, and that's painful to realize once you stop projecting blame.
I've been looking into Prednisone, and have been strongly considering it, but really don't want to pump my body full of steroids. It suppresses the immune system to reduce inflammation, I know that's the idea, but the nerve healing mushroom teas I've been drinking strengthen the immune system, so I feel like it would be an unnecessary yin / yang battle within my system that I don't need right now. I'm not willing to give up the mushrooms for Prednisone, because of their deep nervous system calming / nerve regeneration abilities. And I also don't want to deal with the messy steroid side effects I've read about. Believe it or not, I'm still recovering from the alcohol, which is affecting me because my tolerance is 0 these days.
I made the decision to not go the steroid route on my walk, and it wasn't an easy one to make (never is,) just in case there's some actual damage there that needs allopathic medicine. But I've decided to go the homeopathic route, which is what I'm most experienced with. I just ordered another bottle of fish oil, and will be taking that for inflammation / NAC for free radicals and oto-protective benefits / other supplements, as well as eating sardines / salmon / avocado / eggs. I think it's all an inflammation thing, at least I'm hoping it is. From reading snippets of things on these forums / other places, I have a theory about 're-damaging' an already damaged auditory system. I think when noise exposure isn't insanely loud / obviously damaging, the fullness could be an H symptom of auditory fatigue (having to do with tensor tympani etc), and no permanent damage was done to the inner ear, just some inflammation, and that's what causes the increased T, until you can get that inflammation back down. Those muscles in the ear causing fullness are actually protecting the inner ear, but they're inflamed from fatigue / over-exposure, and it causes all these symptoms. So that's what I'll be working on... reducing inflammation. I just hope I'm not wrong to go the non-steroid route. Not sure if it's necessary, although my symptoms are pretty bad right now. You know how it is, playing this guessing game of how much damage was done, and how intensely should you react to it. But reducing inflammation in a natural way, that doesn't mess with your body's innate intelligence / hormones is what I've been doing since onset in November 2016, and it got me to a pretty good state before this weekend. It just totally breaks me that I have to do it all over again.
Anyway, I deeply empathize with anyone going through something similar right now. It's downright scary, and you keep beating yourself up over it, which only makes the symptoms worse, because you need to calm down your nervous system in the first place. Hopefully our spikes / flare-ups will settle soon.
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