MemberHello everyone
I have had tinnitus moderate to severe about 2 years now. When it all started it was unbearable. But after a while it subsided and got better to the point I thought it's getting better. It won't come back anymore. Oh boy was I wrong?
My tinnitus has been up and down since summer 2016. It all started w sleeping issued. Waking up too early ! Not being able to maintain sleep through the night. Insomnia. I never ever used to have that problem even w horrible T I found a way to sleep sound for 8-9 hours every night. But now it's all been taken away. I am planning for my wedding so it's has been very stressful. I know the reason for my T which is stress and anxiety. But somehow I don't know how to get it under control.
I have fluctuating T now that gets loud one minute in one year and another minute is low and back up another 30 minutes and goes another 2 hours. In my left ear I have a steady tone but I also get really high pick buzz that comes and goes. What bothers me the most is the T in my right ear. It's almost loud electrical sound that as I mentioned above is up and down the whole for the last 2 weeks now. If only I can pin point what bothers it. But I can't.
I have seen 3 ent so far w no answer. I am waiting for an MRI but I bet that will come back "normal" as well. I had the last ENT tell me it's a good thing that your T comes and goes cuz if it wasn't it would mean a lot more serious illness. But he doesn't really understand That it's not good for my sanity. I know there are a lot of people who suffer from a lot of terrible illnesses but I rather have an illness I know i am either going to live or die. I honestly don't know what to do. It's a guessing game.
Is it gonna go away ? Is it a spike ? Is it here to stay ? Is it going to get worse? Is if going to drive me to destroy myself? I am not a suicidal but honestly T has made me think about suicide in the last 2 years more than anything ever. Specially when it's bad.
Don't get me wrong I have had good days. Good weeks. Good months. But when it's bad. It's bad. When I get a break from it. I forget about all the bad things. Like it was never there. I become myself again for at least that 2 hours but when T comes back it's the sound of despair. T is btw me and my happiness clawing at my heart.
Sorry for this long post. I just don't have anyone else who will understand except all of people on here. The struggle is truly real for all of us.
I have had tinnitus moderate to severe about 2 years now. When it all started it was unbearable. But after a while it subsided and got better to the point I thought it's getting better. It won't come back anymore. Oh boy was I wrong?
My tinnitus has been up and down since summer 2016. It all started w sleeping issued. Waking up too early ! Not being able to maintain sleep through the night. Insomnia. I never ever used to have that problem even w horrible T I found a way to sleep sound for 8-9 hours every night. But now it's all been taken away. I am planning for my wedding so it's has been very stressful. I know the reason for my T which is stress and anxiety. But somehow I don't know how to get it under control.
I have fluctuating T now that gets loud one minute in one year and another minute is low and back up another 30 minutes and goes another 2 hours. In my left ear I have a steady tone but I also get really high pick buzz that comes and goes. What bothers me the most is the T in my right ear. It's almost loud electrical sound that as I mentioned above is up and down the whole for the last 2 weeks now. If only I can pin point what bothers it. But I can't.
I have seen 3 ent so far w no answer. I am waiting for an MRI but I bet that will come back "normal" as well. I had the last ENT tell me it's a good thing that your T comes and goes cuz if it wasn't it would mean a lot more serious illness. But he doesn't really understand That it's not good for my sanity. I know there are a lot of people who suffer from a lot of terrible illnesses but I rather have an illness I know i am either going to live or die. I honestly don't know what to do. It's a guessing game.
Is it gonna go away ? Is it a spike ? Is it here to stay ? Is it going to get worse? Is if going to drive me to destroy myself? I am not a suicidal but honestly T has made me think about suicide in the last 2 years more than anything ever. Specially when it's bad.
Don't get me wrong I have had good days. Good weeks. Good months. But when it's bad. It's bad. When I get a break from it. I forget about all the bad things. Like it was never there. I become myself again for at least that 2 hours but when T comes back it's the sound of despair. T is btw me and my happiness clawing at my heart.
Sorry for this long post. I just don't have anyone else who will understand except all of people on here. The struggle is truly real for all of us.
