- Jan 26, 2018
- 27
- Tinnitus Since
- 09/2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Noise exposure from power tool
This has been my main struggle the past month or two.
Even if my tinnitus were to go away completely, 100%, and my hearing loss repaired too, I would still forever be afraid of going out to any kind of loud event.
I am a single male in my 20's, and really do want to experience having a girlfriend at least once. A kiss, sex, whatever else. This is the point in my life where that seems important. I'm very afraid how mad I may get at myself and how much I'd regret it later on if I never had some kind of "fling" experience at this age. I know this is probably petty and sounds stupid to the older population of this forum, but I am already seeing the effects of over a year of self-loathing after the seemingly permanent damage I've done to my ears with one stupid decision. The only life regret that I could see rivaling my ear damage is going through my whole youth never having any experience with a girl.
It just seems impossible now to ever feel safe at a bar, or a party, or a club, etc. Even with ear plugs. The problem with the plugs is that it makes your voice seem louder to you (occlusion effect), while making all other voices harder to hear. Communication, while hard enough at these aforementioned loud places, is made almost impossible with ear plugs. Not to mention the typical look I get from my 20-something year-old peers at parties... The facial expression equivalent of something like, "What the F$%* is that guy doing?!"
All of my friends are free to go out without a care in the world, whereas I have to either protect and then listen to nothing but muffled music, my own T, and wack facial expressions, or simply not attend and cut my likelihood of ever meeting anyone at that type of event down to zero... Attending without plugs is probably not an option unless someone can provide a convincing argument why I might still be okay with no plugs at a university-volume party.
Sure, you can meet people (in my case women) in other ways, but try as I might, as a 5'6"/168cm tall male in the west coast of Canada... Well good luck... At least before this I could go to parties like a regular and joke around, receiving some level of attention that way.
Of course, back before this whole tinnitus ordeal I was much more stressed socially because of other reasons.
My most recent thread was somewhat of a "success story" where I talked about how I have been getting a lot better at coping with my stress relating to the T and in general, but as a result of reducing stress I have opened up my mind to more extroverted types of entertainment... But I am still feeling blocked from going out and being social like a single boy in his early 20's should do. Thus the spawn of this thread title.
-Zer0, with zero in his head
Even if my tinnitus were to go away completely, 100%, and my hearing loss repaired too, I would still forever be afraid of going out to any kind of loud event.
I am a single male in my 20's, and really do want to experience having a girlfriend at least once. A kiss, sex, whatever else. This is the point in my life where that seems important. I'm very afraid how mad I may get at myself and how much I'd regret it later on if I never had some kind of "fling" experience at this age. I know this is probably petty and sounds stupid to the older population of this forum, but I am already seeing the effects of over a year of self-loathing after the seemingly permanent damage I've done to my ears with one stupid decision. The only life regret that I could see rivaling my ear damage is going through my whole youth never having any experience with a girl.
It just seems impossible now to ever feel safe at a bar, or a party, or a club, etc. Even with ear plugs. The problem with the plugs is that it makes your voice seem louder to you (occlusion effect), while making all other voices harder to hear. Communication, while hard enough at these aforementioned loud places, is made almost impossible with ear plugs. Not to mention the typical look I get from my 20-something year-old peers at parties... The facial expression equivalent of something like, "What the F$%* is that guy doing?!"
All of my friends are free to go out without a care in the world, whereas I have to either protect and then listen to nothing but muffled music, my own T, and wack facial expressions, or simply not attend and cut my likelihood of ever meeting anyone at that type of event down to zero... Attending without plugs is probably not an option unless someone can provide a convincing argument why I might still be okay with no plugs at a university-volume party.
Sure, you can meet people (in my case women) in other ways, but try as I might, as a 5'6"/168cm tall male in the west coast of Canada... Well good luck... At least before this I could go to parties like a regular and joke around, receiving some level of attention that way.
Of course, back before this whole tinnitus ordeal I was much more stressed socially because of other reasons.
My most recent thread was somewhat of a "success story" where I talked about how I have been getting a lot better at coping with my stress relating to the T and in general, but as a result of reducing stress I have opened up my mind to more extroverted types of entertainment... But I am still feeling blocked from going out and being social like a single boy in his early 20's should do. Thus the spawn of this thread title.
-Zer0, with zero in his head
Member
