Funny how I wrote a few days ago that I wasn't getting the 10-15 thumps anymore and only a single one every now and then, but a few hours later, I got a 12-hour, 10-15 thumps every 30 seconds attack. This was triggered by an uncontrolled burp, unfortunately. In fact I was so asleep when going to bed, at this point it was only a single thump every now and then, and I fell asleep and woke up like 3 hours later and it was gone. Luckily I was attending a music festival the whole day and evening so I didn't really hear the episode, but I knew it "was there".
Until now, where it just started on its own, but the single thump type. Last time I had this starting on its own, it lasted about 5 hours, which is reassuring to me, or at least brings hope. But really this type is not so bothering. I can work and even sleep (depends on my stress level, mostly). It even seems "softer" (quieter?) than the multi-thump episodes. The very first thump inevitably induces a generalized stress and I can feel the stress "current" propagating all over my body, down to my toes and fingertips. This is because I don't expect it, unlike after a hiccup/burp. The stress goes away after a few minutes.
So yes, it changes, and sometimes it's random.
I never experienced that a single-thump episode type transforms into a multi-thump one. I can have two or three in a row sometimes, but it will soon return to a single one. Usually it's the opposite, and that's a sign that it's ending somewhat soon (muscle is tired?).
Also I believe I never experienced two episodes the same day. When it stops, it stops for at least one day.
I noticed, during my 7-day break, that other body parts were almost never twitching as well. I'm pretty sure there's a neurological connection there: it's not the muscle's fault. But then again, WTF is happening when a hiccup/burp triggers MEM if it's a neurological issue? Nerve pinched or something? It's so mysterious. Maybe this trigger/connection is part of the answer. Scientists, please study me.
It's funny that
myoclonus means
the brief, involuntary twitching of a muscle or group of muscles, yet in our case, it's only partially involuntary, as we can start the involuntary twitching voluntarily
.
At least I got a break yesterday. I believe I'm getting more episodes in the last days because I'm getting less sleep, which is my fault because I've been going out late a few times and waking up early anyway.
Sometimes I tell myself that I could tolerate day-long single-thump episodes every day, for the rest of my life, as long as it stops when I sleep and that it doesn't degenerate into multi-thump or something else. Some sort of contract with my imperfect body.
Here's a relaxing technique I use. When I have an episode, especially of the single thump type, I wait 30-40 seconds and then put my finger in my ear canal when I feel that I should be getting a new thump anytime soon. Like I wrote previously, with a finger in my ear canal and some pressure, I can't hear/feel the thumps. I let my finger in for 20-30 seconds, and then remove it. Then I wait another 40 seconds, etc. Sometimes, because the thump happens when my finger is in (but I can't know this for sure), it gives the impression that I'm MEM-free for like 10 minutes if I'm lucky, and that just feels good, even if it's not true.
Sorry for writing so much. This is also relaxing. I can talk to my GF, but it's never like having a discussion with people who share the same problem. This is the basis of mutual aid.
When the episode's end approaches (I know this because the interval between thumps or groups of thumps starts to increase), I also like to start a stopwatch to measure said intervals. Usually when it's more then 10 minutes, it's gone for good... well, until the next episode.
There is a facebook page called tonic tensor tympani syndrome are you a member of this ? Its really good and has given me alot of support when I have bad episodes.
I don't believe it's connected, in that MEM does not mean TTTS. Maybe the opposite is true, I couldn't say. If I look at the list of TTTS symptoms:
- Feeling of fullness or pressure in the ear: I don't have this.
- Otalgia (either a sharp pain or dull ache): I have dull ache sometimes, for some minutes, but I also had this during my 5-year break, and in both ears, so I don't think it's related. It could be coldness or physically playing too much with my ear canal.
- Fluttering sensation in the ear: does this mean the thumping? If so then yes, obviously.
- Dysacusis: no hearing impairment/distortion.
- Headache or neck/jaw pain: no.
- Numbness or tingling sensation of the ear, neck, or jaw: no.
- Tinnitus in the form of clicking: no.
- Muffled or distorted hearing sensation: no.
- Vertigo or imbalance: no.
TTTS seems to be associated with hyperacusis which I don't have either, nor misophonia. I mean there are sounds that I don't enjoy, like everybody I guess, but I don't feel bad or anxious because of this.
Try to breath in as soon as you recognize a starting hiccup, for me that sometimes stops the body wanting to hiccup.
I'll try this next time, thank you for the tip.
Have any of you made any connection to diet? I felt like sugary/carby foods especially in the morning made episodes more likey. In fact fasting everday till mid late afternoon seemed to help.
Hmm good for you if this helps, but I usually do not eat before mid-late afternoon anyway, so this won't help me. I've been taking more sugar lately, however. I'm still on 300-mg magnesium citrate daily (150 mg two times). I don't know if this has any effect. I could take another one to get 450 mg daily and see. People have claimed that it helped (or even healed) them, while others reported that it doesn't change anything.
Mystery.