Same here, soooo much. I listened to music on the way to work in the truck, at work (just playing it off of my phone with surprisingly good quality), and finally after work I'd smoke up and delve into more music, constantly searching for new bangers and building playlists.
Music fueled me more than any substance, my life revolved around it. And then came the collecting; vinyl, CD, and band shirts. I even have a limited edition black metal album that came with corpsepaint. Fucking kills me to look at it all now. I spent thousands and it's all in duffle bags now.
Immediately after my trauma music sounded tinny and soulless, like someone just sucked all of the bass and soul out of it. My cell phone audio all of a sudden sounded like crap, and only the ear that was on the side of the pocket my phone was in could hear the sound clearly. My low freq hearing was down 25 dB at the time, but has somehow recouped up to 10 dB. Still, nothing sounds as good as it used to before the trauma. And while cannabis used to enhance the listening experience, it now just spikes my tinnitus and draws attention to the uneven hearing.
I left my noisy job 'officially' due to the sound sensitivity and tinnitus, but the truth was I just couldn't imagine carrying on working the grueling, fast paced shitshow of a job without my music and the whole pre-work and after work listening routines that it involved. Once I let music go, the gargantuan void that it left in my life just felt irreplaceable. I'm lucky that I can still hear music at all, but just having the awareness that I'm not hearing it as rich and complete as I used to depresses me 10/10. My heart goes out to
@FGG big time. I lost sound quality, but she pretty much lost music entirely. Absolute larceny. Those of you that have tinnitus but otherwise normal hearing, be grateful that you still have music as a tool to mask and escape.
Regenerative medicine can't come fast enough! When I get my hearing tuned back up, I'm going to go back to some filthy black and death metal shows but I'm going to do it right with plugs and muffs this time. Don't care wtf I look like. If any metalheads are reading this, FUCK THE TOXIC MASCULINITY, PROTECT YOUR EARS. You DON'T want to end up like Pete Townshend, Brian Johnson, Ted Nudgent... and the list goes on.