From Darkness to Light, How I Recovered from Tinnitus & Hyperacusis

[Mclyra]

I cannot thank you enough for this post, @billie48 . You're trully one of my guiding lights.
Four months in and getting better every day.

 

[Heather415]

I am one of those who strongly believe that being positive will help us habituate to tinnitus faster. A few years back I was in total darkness of immense sufferings from severe tinnitus & hyperacusis. I have ultra high pitch and loud tinnitus (T) which was soon followed by piercingly hurtful hyperacusis (H). My T sounds like dog whistle, screaming & resonating in my whole head. It packs with so much condensed energy like a laser beam in a night sky, like a dentist drill with 10 times the pitch. It is absolutely an unbearable and alien sound. I could even hear it above the jet noise in my last few flights, and above the sounds of the raging, roaring rapids in the wild salmon river I fish. How bad was my T to a normal person? Well, once at better time, my family asked how bad and high pitch it is. So I played a sound clip matching my T sounds to them. Instantly, everyone screamed, covered their ears, and ran away as fast as they could. So while I don't know if my T is of the worst kind, I know it is not what a normal person can bear.

The hyperacusis turned all normal sounds glassy and piercingly hurtful, as if someone scratching glass with metal, like the ears being drilled. I couldn't stand the sounds or noises of TV, parties, restaurants, movies, driving, social conversations etc. Even the soft voice of my wife speaking too close was hurtful. Every normal sound seemed too loud to bear. What a misery! I had to wear earplugs to stop the hurtful sensation. But the earplugs blocked off all outside masking sounds, making the T scream so unbearably dominant. I tried to choose the lesser of the two evils, but there is no lesser choice among them. If I did things to please T, H would kill me and vice versa for H. I had no escape from them. I was facing two tortuous, alien monsters which dislike each other.

These two alien beasts of T & H literally overwhelmed my senses and my nerves were stretched to the breaking point. Worst, prior to T & H, I had also suffered decades of anxiety and panic disorders and severe PTSD symptoms after suffering the trauma of witnessing the tragic accidental death of my young 5 years old son who died in my arm. My nerves were already weakened and unstable prior to T & H. So these two alien beasts just opened the flood gate of hell of relentless anxiety and panic attacks on auto mode daily from the moment I woke up by the screaming T.

These anxiety (A) & panic (P) attacks were very alarming and hurtful sensations to the body, with heart attack alike symptoms of chest pain, tightness of chest, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, sore muscles and pains, headaches of all kinds, sharp pain like migraine, tingling pain like being pinned all over the skull, and numb pain with the brain like being enveloped in a fog not able to think clearly. There were nightmares, profuse sweating, strong adrenaline rush, fears & phobia about things & about the future, feeling disoriented, dizzy, lost and helpless. These severely hurtful symptoms coming on auto mode daily made it very hard to live with my already horrible sufferings from T & H. I was literally overwhelmed physically and mentally.

During the darkest period, day and night, T, H, A, and P all conspired to attack me with great sufferings, both mind and body, causing great despair and inevitable depression and sleeplessness.
Each day was a long, dark day of sufferings from these torturous masters of my life. Like many new sufferers, I was obsessed with T and was constantly monitoring it. I was scared and desperate. I had to depend on meds like Ativan, Prozac and sleeping pills just to survive each day. I cut off all social contacts, withdrew from things I used to enjoy doing and hid in a quiet room whenever I could. Life was bleak, lonely, desperate & hopeless. I was staring into the abyss of a life ahead filled with tremendous sufferings and loneliness. For how long? The thought just sent chill through my spine and gave me despair. Very often the big 'S' word was dangling in front of this tired and stressed out mind as it saw no way out. I thought me and my good life would end soon. Things just couldn't be any worse. How can one live with something so unlivable? For life? Gosh!!! I thought I would never recover and be happy again.

But that was then. Miracle does happen. Never say never. Today, by the grace of God, I am back to normal, living a full, happy, productive and enjoyable life, free from the darkness and tyranny of tinnitus and hyperacusis. I also don't need drug any more for my T & H. My hyercausis has long faded within the year it started, when I slowly and reluctantly took off the ear plugs for normal sounds, as advised by kind forum members. Tinnitus still rings but my brain has gotten used to and hardened to the ringing. It doesn't bother me or scared me like before. As I am typing on the subject of tinnitus, it is brought forth to consciousness. I can hear it screaming with its ultra high pitched shrill. The same dog whistle sound used to overwhelm me and my nerves. No longer! I have lost the fear for it and don't give a dime. It is now just a paper tiger. I am free from this T tyranny.

Today I can truly feel and breathe & see the beauty around me - fresh air, blue sky, green trees, lovely flowers, sweet faces of family and friends, lovely children and all that beauty of nature the Almighty has bestowed so generously for us mortals to enjoy. I can go dancing, singing, gardening, fishing, playing guitar, travelling, hiking, camping, eating out, watching cinema movies, even volunteering for church and charitable functions such as collecting foods for the local food bank, etc. etc. I don't let this tinnitus bully take any fun and meaning away from my life. My new motto is "Finding Joy Amid the Pain", as advocated by the late Darlene Cohen, yes, living life abundantly to compensate for tinnitus and its suffering (if any). When one can do that, tinnitus will be like a paper tiger. It can still rings loud, but it has lost its power to scare you and rob you of your life. More often T just got faded out by the brain from consciousness when it no longer perceives T as a threat. It sounds amazing but it is possible even for loud T. You may say how is it possible? Well, remember those flights you took when you were deep into watching a movie, did you hear the all encompassing loud jet noise around you? That is that simple. The brain can fade out even loud noise when it is not considered a threat. Many who have habituated have experienced the same.

So never say never. The good life can be back. Give it time. T may just disappear or fade. Even if it doesn't, good life is still possible. I have learned to accept and flow with life's ups and downs, even my loud tinnitus, by willing to coexist peacefully with T without all the emotional and negative reactions. This in turn allows the brain to habituate to T. It can be done. Believe it and have a bright hope for your future. If an anxiety and panic prone person like me can do it, have faith that you can too. I encourage you to read the Positivity thread on the Support forum to fill yourself with the positive energy to move on and to live a great life even after T.

Here are some of the important points or strategies which have helped me in my tinnitus & hyperacusis journey. I hope you can benefit from trying them out:

1) Being positive and give it time - Being positive helps me reduce my anxiety level. A big part of tinnitus suffering is mental. So being positive has helped me speed up my recovery. Just to think of it, if life has to be lived one way or another, negatively or positively, why not choose to live it positively? It can only help the problem and not make it worse. Positivity can actually alter the brain chemical process to benefit our health. So I choose positivity over negativity. I try to bring positivity to the NOW, the very moment in front of me which I can have some control to make it the best moment. Life is much easier and more enjoyable with positivity even after T.

Another very important thing is to give it time. The body needs time to absorb in the alien T ringing sensation. You are in 'fight or flight' mode and the nerve is under the limbic system which tends to make you react more nervously. After enough time to adjust to the new sensation, the nerve will return to the normal parasympathetic system and you will be able to control your reactions better. If you read the success stories, you can see that TIME is a very important element of recovery if not the only element. So remember to give TIME and your body enough time. Be patient.

2) Success stories - They are so important to my initial days. I read many of them from various forums and learned their insights. Knowing that people can actually survive severe tinnitus and hyperacusis has given me tons of hope and confidence that I can get there by following their strategies. Thanks Heaven there are those kind and caring souls who care enough to help out the newer sufferers by sharing what they have learned. Together, they offer us their collective wisdom and insight how to battle T and come out a winner. I learn to emulate success by copying success from these folks. There is nothing better to learn from those who had done the battle and who understand your struggle intimately and understandably, because they were where you are.

3) Beware of distorted thinking - You may be bombarded by really distorted thoughts at the initial phase of T suffering. A new T sufferer can be so traumatized by T that the limbic nervous system takes over and you function in 'fight or flight mode'. As such every bad or alien sensation is magnified and you begin to have many scary thoughts. You zoom in on T at the slightest irritation and you monitor it non-stop, fearing and worrying about what horrible things can await you. I realized back then that I tended to have catastrophic thinking about the future. I researched on it and realize that these are cognitive distortions in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). So I bought an inexpensive paper back book 'Feeling Good' by Dr. Burns and studied it well. Another great CBT oriented book specifically for tinnitus is called 'Tinnitus: A Self-Management Guide for the Ringing in Your Ears" by Henry & Wilson. It should be available from amazon.com.

3a) You are not Your Mind - this is a most powerful concept of positivity to combat distorted thoughts of the mind, a concept now promoted by many people and web sites, including Eckart Tolle who wrote 'The Power of Now'. Just google 'you are not your mind' and you will see so many writings from individuals and institutions, even psychology sites and youtube videos. Yes, detach yourself from the egoistic, scared, sad and depressed mind. That is not you. Free yourself from it. The real you is like a child, like a life force full of joy and life. There is a real peaceful and joyful you inside, Tolle called it your Being (a spiritual person may call it your real, precious soul inside of you), whereas the mind has been conditioned and corrupted by bad life's events. You are not your mind. Be a Watcher of the Mind. Do not follow its chaotic distorted thoughts. You can see how meeruf using this concept to help his battle with T here. He is now enjoying life travelling often.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...from-the-tyranny-of-tinnitus-my-journey.2717/

By being able to counter the distorted thoughts with more positive and realistic ones, and by being able to step out of the box of my 'freaky T scared mind', I have reduced my anxiety level and mental sufferings tremendously. When anxiety level and stress level are down, T will be robbed of its fuel to haunt us. So don't help T by providing more negative emotions. Positivity is and should be your new motto.

4) Masking & medications - when T is new & alien, it can create a lot of mental stress, such as anxiety, panic attacks, depression and sleeplessness. These can create havoc on your health and aggravate your suffering. One simple approach without using drugs is masking your tinnitus. Get masking going as soon as possible. You can cut back on masking later when you are more emotionally stable. For my high pitch T, I download high frequency nature sounds such as waves, heavy rain, waterfall, even faucet & shower sounds. There are many free sound generators or APPs out there. You can use a sound machine or pillow for bed time masking. Also consider these:
TT's own audio player: https://www.tinnitustalk.com/audioplayer/
or download free 'aire freshener': http://www.peterhirschberg.com/mysoftware.html
or make your own rain sound: http://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/rainNoiseGenerator.php

When T is new and if you are really struggling emotionally and depression sets in and you can't cope with the sufferings by will power alone, please do consult with your doctors on using medications to help smooth out the sharp edges of emotions like what I had to do. You can always phase them out later but make sure you do so with the supervision and advise of your doctor(s).

5) Getting back to living - It may be hard to do at first. The tired and stressed body didn't want to do anything except to stay in bed or to glue to the computer for T information. I had to dare my T & H to pull myself out to do the things I used to enjoy, even with ear plugs sometimes. I would not let the T bully intimidate me and control my life. I fought to have my freedom back. Given time, it gets better and easier. At least I was winning the psychological battle. Remember to get back to living for yourself, for your love ones, and NOT for trying to reduce your tinnitus. Doing so will cause you to often get anxious why getting back to living hasn't helped and then you give up trying to live again. SEPARATE the two. Of course, given time, your tinnitus will lose its intensity as a consequence of the distractions of life's many activities and you losing fear for it because you now have you life back. It will happen gradually. Be patient. Give TIME and your body enough time.

6) Minimize tinnitus - I learn not to dwell on tinnitus and give it more fire and fuel to perpetuate its tyranny on me. I minimize it by realizing that many people in the world have to work or live in very loud environment, like the drill workers, miners, flight attendants, etc. etc. If people can endure these loud noises for life for wages, perhaps even happy to have a job like that to feed the family, I can tolerate and accept my loud ringing just to get my life back. At least I don't have to work 1000+ ft underground drilling & risking mine collapse or gas poisoning. It is not a perfect analogy but I could ill afford a perfect analogy. It is either acceptance or misery for life. I chose the former. I also minimize tinnitus by comparing it to blindness and being handicapped. I played blind and handicapped often to help me put tinnitus in its right perspective in my life. I minimize T by gradually switching to more positive thinking about T and my life, that it is not a catastrophe nor the end game. It is livable and many people prove that. Heck, even famous celebrities like David Letterman, William Shatner (Star Trek Capt. Kirk), Streisand, Ronald Reigan, Townsend etc. etc., they have T and life goes on. Google celebrities with tinnitus and you will see a long list of them.

7) Maximize my life force - by living life abundantly, by finding joy amid the pain. The brain was tired and it is dying for some new excitement to stimulate it. I realize I need to practise 'finding joy amid the pain' as advocated by the late Darlene Cohen. I decided to accept the pain, understand it and accept it. Then I focus on the joy of living. Enjoying what I used to do & taking on some new hobbies have kept life fun again. These new hobbies involves time away from tinnitus and they gave me the breaks I need from tinnitus. You can also try volunteer service for the good of others like collecting foods for food bank or teaching others how to fish as I did. These events give you breaks from T. The more breaks, the longer the breaks, the more confident that you will be just fine over time. Remember to fill your life with enough life force, enough positivity that it will just bury T to make it less and less an issue.

8) Be nice to ourselves and love ones - T can draw the worst emotions out of us. Beware of this T bully. It can destroy relationship. After having T and dealing with strong negative emotions daily, I realize T was beginning to not just ruin me, but the great relationship with my love ones. I humanize T as my worst bully out there trying to charge my family to harm them (by knocking me down first). So I said no way to the T bully. I would stand up on my feet and fought this bully. If it made me live like hell, I want to make sure my family live like heaven in return. I decided to be extra nice to them. I even massaged my wife daily while my ipod was masking T. I hugged and kissed so everyone knew I love & care for them. They sensed my effort & returned the same. The result was great love and harmony, a ray of light for me amid the darkness of T & H. It gave me hope then that my life wasn't utterly wasted and worthless, as well as the confidence & strength to soldier on with life despite immense T sufferings. At the worst period of relentless sufferings, I just considered I donated my body as if it were composted, and dead to the unpleasant sensations by ignoring them, just so that I could still be around to nourish my love ones especially the young ones (just like how in nature mother plants compost themselves to give nourishment to their seeding plants). Perhaps they can learn from my perseverance during tough struggles and hopefully they can emulate that later in their life to help them through their struggles.

9) Guiding lights - with my nerve being weakened by prior condition of anxiety & panic disorder, I found it necessary to borrow strength from some others and their fine examples, how they can overcome tough, even unmaskable T and be able to live a normal, even happy life. Dr. Nagler has shown me the way through his tough initial struggle with T and subsequent triumph over it. His insightful writing 'Letter to a Tinnitus Sufferer' serve as a guiding post for me, pointing me to challenge my distorted thoughts which I did as much as I could.

Then there is the incredible story of the young Zoe Cartwright who became totally deaf at young 15. It was bad enough to face sudden deafness, but on top of that she developed loud unmaskable T which according to her can be #!%^&* loud. Yet she made the wise choice to accept the reality of her unmaskable T, and decided to live her life and pursue her goals. Against all odds, she made it to university where she made a tinnitus film to tell us her story. I have posted her story and her film link on the Positivity Thread of the Support Forum. Please read her story and watch her film at page 14 (post# 420) & page 15 (post# 423) and hopefully you will come away realizing what an amazing story of courage and positivity this young pretty lady shows us. Despite facing her loud unmaskable T, she said she loves her life and enjoys it. T is just a slice of her life which she accepts. Amazing positivity and stamina for a young lady. Sometimes, guiding light like her can help lift us up to want to soldier on with our own T journey.
Here is post# 420 of the Positivity Thread on Zoe : The Positivity Thread
Here is post # 423 : The Positivity Thread

And then there is the inspiring story of the young & beautiful jazz singer Melody Gardot, with severe T & H, and worse was hit by a SUV at young 19 causing massive damage to her body, being hospitalized for a year suffering from incredible pain & immobility. Yet she didn't cave in to these incredible sufferings. She turns to positivity and music, accepting her disability and all, and excels in guitar, piano and what a singer she has become. Here is her story of triumph over her tough struggle and a youtube clip of her performance on David Letterman's show (who has 2-tone T himself, LOL):
http://jazztimes.com/articles/24598-melody-gardot-s-melodic-therapy



Tinnitus is so common that even household names & celebrities have them. Google 'celebrities with tinnitus' and the list is long. Here are two guys I often watched back then, David Letterman the famous comedian and William Shatner the Star Trek captain. They show me that even after initial suffering (Shatner said he was suicidal at one time), people do get back to living a normal life.


The inspiring guiding lights don't stop with these ladies or celebrities. There are many of them here posting their success stories and you can get just as inspired by them, such as Karen, LadyDi, Kathi, AnneG, Jade, etc., etc. Through these people and their stories, I find my guiding lights and I decide to focus on positivity and acceptance, and move on to focus on life's many beauties and blessings besides T. I now live an absolutely enjoyable life. Good life can be back. Believe it. Give it time and take good care of yourself. Have faith for a bright future. You can beat this T bully. God bless you all.

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A simple mental exercise of positivity that I often do which may help you:

- while waking up (even with T blasting like I often have), spend a few minutes before getting up to flash through some of the positive & beautiful or fun things in your life. If you have loved ones dear or great friends, flash through their smiling faces and the tender moments with them. Chant out loud to yourself 'I am blessed even though I am having this T challenge. It is harmless and I believe I will get better over time especially if I stay positive, calm and hopeful'.

- while having self-pity & feeling depressed about T, I often played blind or handicapped (only when safe to do so) for a few minutes. This is not comparing T to other tough challenges, but to help put it in the right perspective in my life. I learn to appreciate the visible world and my mobility a lot more. Suggest to the brain again, "I am blessed to be able to do many things other people can't. I am confident my T and/or my reaction to it may get better over time with a positive attitude and willing to accept the new normal of life with T".

- I use mental imagery of drillers, miners and flight attendants and their loud jobs a lot when my T spike, especially waking up to this loud scream. I often watch videos of those loud job with real life volume of the loud machines (see bottom of page for some samples of people working w/o protection). I used ear plugs initially to protect from the H, but this gave me a vivid picture of how loud these people have to deal with day in and day out. T is usually drowned out by these loud machines. Then when T spikes, I often have a vivid mental imagery of myself handling the loud machines and suggest to myself, "OK, I will treat myself like one of those people with loud jobs on long shifts and T is nothing in loudness compared to these. I will take T on without negative reactions like these folks taking on their loud machines. They accept these noises for wages, I will try to learn accepting my T noise or the reality of living with T for having my life back and having my emotional sanity intact. At least I am not 1000+ ft underground or facing possible dangers like them". This exercise has helped me to shift from feeling miserable and anxious about the spikes and then the brain is spared from dealing with all the negative emotions and sufferings. This can then help the brain to accept the reality of T and habituate to it easier and eventually.

- try mindfulness meditation to bring T as the object of awareness. It will be tough at first, as Dr. Hubbard wrote about this in his success story, but it will get better in due time. This 'exposure' exercise can help the brain to not freak out so much to the T sound. I often visualize and humanize T as a hated bully trying to pin me down to make me kneel, bow and beg for its mercy. I said "Screw it bully. I don't fear you and won't bow & kneel to you begging for mercy. This is all you can do to me with this sound, and I am facing it dead on and winning. I will harden to this sound in due time and time is on my side". Honestly, when we take this accepting but defiant stance and when it is achieved, then the brain can learn to habituate to this ringing sound which it doesn't fear nor care after a while. Remember, TIME is on your side.

- try the powerful mental imagery of 'You Are Not Your Mind' as talked about in point 3a) above. Imagine you are detached from the corrupted, scared, anxious and depressed mind, and be a witness or watcher of that mind and its distorted thoughts. Don't react or identify with the mind nor react to it, as if you are a separate entity. Even if you are anxious and scared, try to say 'Hey, I am not my mind, and I don't have to listen nor react to its wild, distorted thoughts. I am a watcher of it and I can see how weak and distorted that mind is'. This is a powerful mental imagery which can help you step out of the misery of the distorted mind and all its negativity. Believe me, I used this technique heavily during the darkest time when the mind was in a mess and I could still maintain my sanity, lol.

- try to live my life abundantly and enjoyably by finding 'joy admit the pain'. When you go back to living, talk to the brain like "Tell T to take a ticket and wait in line. I am busy and having fun. I can live my life abundantly, enjoyably, and positively regardless of T high or low. I love my life. T is just a slice of my life (as Zoe Cartwright with total deafness and therefore unmaskable T puts it). I am going to enjoy my life and the heck with T".

- Repeat these positive self-affirmations and mental exercises often until the brain slowly if surely buy into the constant self suggestions. Repeat this process until you get better. Don't give up. You will get better. Just believe it. God bless your recovery.

- Videos for using an imperfect analogy and mental imagery. If you don't object to this imperfect analogy, watch these samples of loud jobs of people (including the airline crew in those loud jets in the jet videos) without ear protection and NOT freaking out. Turn the volume up to real life loudness if you can bear it and then watch your T drown out by these machines. Whether we realize it or not, T has become a PHOBIA and like other phobia, the irrational fear for T needs to be DEPROGRAMMED. So I used these videos to help myself to stay calm during huge spikes. Try suggest to yourself that if people can work like this and face these noises day in and day out, perhaps even happy to have a job to feed the family, then why we need to freak out with T which can be completely or partially masked unlike these workers without ear protection? At my worst spikes, I just have a mental imagery of myself being the one working like them, and NOT freaking out to T. It works for me. I hope it works for you. This perhaps can start your REVOLT against T's supremacy over your life and your emotional stability with its much weaker sound than these machines and can be masked to varying degree:








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(ps. if you have questions or comment requiring response from me, please tag me with @billie48 so I can be alerted about that and respond faster. Thanks.)

This post gave me more info then 3 doctors I've seen in the past month!! Not that its not important to go to the doctor, but having just came back from the ENT dr. with nothing new but that I "have a lot of phlegm" in my throat after sticking a camera down my nose, this was refreshing to read. Put my tired mind at ease. Thanks again, Billie!

 

[billie48]

@Mclyra and @Heather415, thank you for your kind words. I hope you both will get better over time with reading success stories and applying some of the strategies. Keep positive and keep up the hope that you will get better like those members posting their success stories. Be patient and give mother time enough time to heal your body. Take care & God bless.

 

[Purple Parrot]

Bille you have helped me tremendously with your caring and attentive posts. I just wanted to show some love as well!

 

[AnneG]

You are one of my guiding lights as well billie, you are such an amazing and strong person. Thank you for posting this

 

[Baxette]

Thank you! I really appreciate your link. I am sorry you lost your son. You are an excellent writer. I too will keep reading the success stories. I am sleepless at the moment. My two cats provide comfort. I have trouble concentrating. One of the worst aspects of T is not being able to read! I had a high pitch followed by fullness in my right ear yesterday. T faded. I was hopeful then T returned and I cried. Unfortunately for me my spouse is ver unsympathetic. He hates weakness and sees me as weak. Not sure my marriage will survive this. My T has caused a lot of strain on my marriage. My two cats are my only friends. Many people avoid me. Guess they think T is contagious. My crying spells don't help. The few "friends" I had are becoming distant memories. I have OCD which intensifies my T. I hope I can crawl out of this misery. Thank you for caring and encouraging new people like myself.

 

[barnacle]

Thank you! I really appreciate your link. I am sorry you lost your son. You are an excellent writer. I too will keep reading the success stories. I am sleepless at the moment. My two cats provide comfort. I have trouble concentrating. One of the worst aspects of T is not being able to read! I had a high pitch followed by fullness in my right ear yesterday. T faded. I was hopeful then T returned and I cried. Unfortunately for me my spouse is ver unsympathetic. He hates weakness and sees me as weak. Not sure my marriage will survive this. My T has caused a lot of strain on my marriage. My two cats are my only friends. Many people avoid me. Guess they think T is contagious. My crying spells don't help. The few "friends" I had are becoming distant memories. I have OCD which intensifies my T. I hope I can crawl out of this misery. Thank you for caring and encouraging new people like myself.

Hi
Am sorry to hear that you are having a hard time and feeling isolated. I completey understand aboutthe not being able to read. However hard a day had been , I use to find comfort in climbing into bed with a hot drink and a detective novel and losing myself in the story until I lost myself in sleep. Now going to bed seems like a daily ordeal, like going out into dark forest or something. But maybe you should perservere with the reading. I am slowly finding that I am beginning to ignore the T and focus on the book. Dont give up on the things that you love, as I think they can help get us through the early and tortuous days of T.
Am also sorry that your husband does not understand. My family became more sympathetic when I really spelt out how hard T is. I said they should imagine putting an ipod with a constant horrid noise in their ear for an hour, then a day, then a week and then imagine it maybe forever. Also could mention to husband the Iraq veteran on TT who said that T is much tougher than fighting in Iraq. Anyhow, your cats sound great. I've got goats with bloat that I'm meant to belooking after today. Need to make them pass wind which should be a challenge.
Take care
Barnacle (not my real name)

 

[Hil]

I loved this so much, I have bookmarked it. I need to refer to this often! Thank you.

 

[billie48]

Thank you @AnneG. That is very nice of you to say that. I am impressed by your courage and your forever vibrant and upbeat character in facing this T challenge while being so young and going to college. I wish you all the best in your personal and professional life. God bless.

 

[billie48]

Thank you @Baxette for your kind words. I hope things will improve for your T and your marriage relationship. You may want to play some T video clips, or even Zoe Cartwright's short tinnitus film to your husband to help him understand the challenge. If anything, you are never alone here on the forum as we understand your challenge. All the best and God bless.

 

[billie48]

Thank you @Hil for the good words. I am happy to hear that my story has helped you on your T journey. Things will hopefully improve for you. God bless.

 

[AmyG19]

Dear Billie,
I am new to this site having developed tinnitus recently from taking beta blockers for arrhythmias. I just wanted to thank you sincerely for such an incredibly candid, eloquent, thoughtful and comprehensive posting. What an ambassador you are, and a beacon of light in dark times for those of us trying to come to terms with this uninvited, tortuous noise invasion. I had no idea how much I prized silence in my world! I really wish you well.

 

[Nowhearthis]

I am new to the board and learning so much. It has become a new best friend of many. Billie you have given me pause and hope about my life. My T may or may not be a result of my middle ear myoclonus. I will have surgery jn two weeks to cut the muscles/tendons. The T may get worse but having your powerful message and p oisitive outlook, I have hope I will be able to cope and in time move forward. This too shall past
Thank you.

 

[dru17]

@billie48 Thanks Billie for sharing and going into so much depth. It's really nice to see that. As I was reading I felt for you and was so glad to read that your much more happy now and have found way more peace.

I've been dealing with T for a little over a year now and really the only thing that bothers me anymore is my mind and than because of this I get back into struggling with my T at times. My brain isn't as good as it used to be. Reading and processing information is way more difficult, my vision gets hazy at times when I'm out in public, and I get headaches at times. Things just aren't the same, mentally for me. Even going outside and enjoying nature (apart from the loud ringing) isn't the same. I'm just curious if you had this as well and what insight you could give me? Thanks! And again, I'm really happy you're not suffering anymore with this.

 

[billie48]

@AmyG19, thanks for the good words. I am just trying to return the kindness and compassion of members who had helped me at the darkest time. I wish you well too. Take good care & God bless.

@Nowhearthis, thanks for the nice comment. I hope your surgery has gone well. Staying positive will help and facilitate a speedy recovery. Give it time and let's all move forward to live a good life despite T.

@dru17, thanks for sharing your compassionate thought towards me. I am doing fine nowadays, enjoying life as much as I can. I wish you will do well soon. Your issue now may have to do with anxiety/stress symptoms, the lack of concentration and energy to focus on things, and of course the headaches. I know these well, as I lived with anxiety and panic disorder for decades prior to T & H. Those symptoms are all too familiar. I am spending time outdoor with nature too, fishing and gardening also. That keep my mind busy. Perhaps try to check out these herbs to see if they can help you calm the mind and sleep better.

http://www.christopherhobbs.com/lib...alth/herbs-and-natural-remedies-for-insomnia/

 

[dru17]

@billie48 Thanks for getting back to me. It's nice to have someone else that's gone through it. Things are getting better. I'm getting outside doing things as well, working now, and trying to do things I love. I guess this has started to calm things down. It's not completely gone yet - like the pressure in my head and all, but I'm in a better place than I was.

 

[hartje5]

@billie48

You are a true inspiration to a lot of people. Including me . I guess I've read your success story at least 10 times now. Every time I take a new piece of advice from it and it gives me so much hope.

I have tw0 questions. I've been having T. for 6 month now and am still struggling with depression. Can you tell me a little bit about where were at 6 month in your journey? I still have to rely on Remeron and xanax to get through the day and am not able to work yet. (Though slowly tapering xanax. I started with 1 mg and am at 0,375 mg now!) I'm finding it hard. I used to be a very positive person. I'm really struggling to find the real me back. I know 6 month in is not very long for T. and H. but I expected to be less depressed by now and am starting to worry. I do have an other medical condition that causes extra stress.

You wrote somewhere that for most people experiencing H. and ear fullness and pain subside after a few month. Before starting xanax I had H, distorted hearing and ear fullness and pain. I'm really afraid that that will come back if I taper xanax completely. Do think this will happen?

Hartje5

 

[Dominic1955]

@billie48

You are a true inspiration to a lot of people. Including me . I guess I've read your success story at least 10 times now. Every time I take a new piece of advice from it and it gives me so much hope.

I have tw0 questions. I've been having T. for 6 month now and am still struggling with depression. Can you tell me a little bit about where were at 6 month in your journey? I still have to rely on Remeron and xanax to get through the day and am not able to work yet. (Though slowly tapering xanax. I started with 1 mg and am at 0,375 mg now!) I'm finding it hard. I used to be a very positive person. I'm really struggling to find the real me back. I know 6 month in is not very long for T. and H. but I expected to be less depressed by now and am starting to worry. I do have an other medical condition that causes extra stress.

You wrote somewhere that for most people experiencing H. and ear fullness and pain subside after a few month. Before starting xanax I had H, distorted hearing and ear fullness and pain. I'm really afraid that that will come back if I taper xanax completely. Do think this will happen?

Hartje5

You are lucky that Xanax is decreasing the tinnitus , I am taking Xanax at night and Remron at night to help anxiety and insomnia, it does not decrease my tinnitus at all. I would suggest tapering the Xanax very very slowly.
Great that it actually decrease the tinnitus

 

[hartje5]

@Dominic195
I guess you could call that luck. Though I don't feel I could be called lucky.

 

[Dominic1955]

If Xanax helps and decreases your T andH I would continue in the smallest dose that's effective.
I wish Xanax would help me
Do u have hearing loss ?

 

[hartje5]

I have only slight hearing loss in the high frequencies. I'm working my way down to the smallest effective dose. Xanax before bed did not do much for me too. I started working when I took it twice a day at 9 am en 9 pm. I honestly think xanax is a monster though. I now have all sorts of strange and awful withdrawal symptoms and frankly wished I had never started using it.

 

[Della]

The sad but unavoidable truth is that, in the world of medicine, whatever helps you also hurts you. Long before I developed severe T & H, I was dealing with the chronic pain and stiffness of fibromyalgia, and have had no choice but to be on Xanax and several other meds long term. I've always tried to work my way down to the lowest effective dose of whatever I'm taking, but for me giving up the meds would be to give up my ability to live life to the fullest. I decided a long time ago that even if taking these meds takes some years off my life at the far end, I would willingly trade that for a full rich life in the present. Everyone is different, especially in their reactions to meds, so you have to try things or you will never know. Stay strong.

Best of luck to you all,
Della

 

[Dominic1955]

s

If you only have slight hearing loss you should be ok with time.
Dominic

 

[hartje5]

I guess because my T.+H. started because of heart medication I'm a bit paranoid about any kind of med. Domic I really hope what you are saying is true. How do you know this?

 

[Dominic1955]

I have several patients with tinnitus and no hearing loss and seem to habituate quicker.
I also have patients (3) with SSHL and they symptoms for 6 to 12 months and they are still experiencing symptoms after years( not intrusive)
Dominic
Get well !

 

[gintas]

I have several patients with tinnitus and no hearing loss and seem to habituate quicker.
I also have patients (3) with SSHL and they symptoms for 6 to 12 months and they are still experiencing symptoms after years( not intrusive)
Dominic
Get well !

what it is SSHL ? thanks

 

[i.m]

what it is SSHL ? thanks

SSHL stands for Sudden Sensorineural Hearing Loss

 

[billie48]

Can you tell me a little bit about where were at 6 month in your journey?

When I was at 6 months, I was still struggling badly and had to depend on drugs to keep going. It took me 2 years to feel some stability of the emotion but still with many setbacks. It took me 3 years to finally feel stabilized and wrote my success story. So you are not doing badly at all. Don't try to conjure up a time table for recovery. Each person is different. To do it will get you anxious and doubt will set in. This then will get T fired up. Try to just get back to living and enjoying life as much as you can, and let T do whatever. This is a less stressful way and you are not expecting anything. We need to play the smart game with T.

 

[hartje5]

Thanks so much Billy. Three years sounds like a long time. It took only 5,5 weeks for medication to create this havoc. I try not to be afraid. I have a heart condition that needs attention and medication and that makes it difficult not to worry and be scared of the future.

I have to be here for my children and husband. I pray to God to give me strength.

 

[Bugsy]

Hi Billie thank you for sharing your success story but more importantly your light!! I believe my T was caused by a ear infection a month ago and/or possible TMJ...mine is a constant static sound which is louder at night and in morning. I have searched the Internet since I developed T, mainly for information, but I found a lot of negative comments (which I totally get how easy it is to go down that road). But for me I would like to try to remain positive and hopefull regardless of my T. I have always been everyone else's cheerleader and now I'm needing a little encouragement myself so that I can start to encourage others ASAP! Once again thanks for the information and positive attitude it means a lot!