Funny Thing Habituation

[mick1987]

I remember in October when my tinnitus increased I couldn't sleep without getting drunk, I couldn't even sit in my bedroom anymore because the sound overwhelmed me. Now I can sit in complete silence, in bed, my tinnitus would be loud, but I'm totally fine with it, it no longer makes me depressed, the tinnitus and my mood are separate. Before I would be a wreck with fear, misery. now though the tinnitus is there, but it's as threatening to me now as TV static, I even sleep with my bad ear on the pillow, making it very loud but its my favourite sleeping position, my tinnitus is loud in that situation, but I'm relaxed, no fear, no anxiety, no misery etc, the point I'm trying to make is that same noise a few months ago had me so depressed, now it doesn't register as a problem, all because the brain has got used to the noise, I did worry slightly about a light saber noise that come on a few days ago, but it has gone now, leaving me with my regular tinnitus, same old noise that isn't threatening anymore, I've gone from severely depressed to quite happy, I have habituation to thank for that.

 

[patty]

I remember in October when my tinnitus increased I couldn't sleep without getting drunk, I couldn't even sit in my bedroom anymore because the sound overwhelmed me. Now I can sit in complete silence, in bed, my tinnitus would be loud, but I'm totally fine with it, it no longer makes me depressed, the tinnitus and my mood are separate. Before I would be a wreck with fear, misery. now though the tinnitus is there, but it's as threatening to me now as TV static, I even sleep with my bad ear on the pillow, making it very loud but its my favourite sleeping position, my tinnitus is loud in that situation, but I'm relaxed, no fear, no anxiety, no misery etc, the point I'm trying to make is that same noise a few months ago had me so depressed, now it doesn't register as a problem, all because the brain has got used to the noise, I did worry slightly about a light saber noise that come on a few days ago, but it has gone now, leaving me with my regular tinnitus, same old noise that isn't threatening anymore, I've gone from severely depressed to quite happy, I have habituation to thank for that.

Wow, I love this post. This is so great for you. Enjoy your habituation. I hope to get there sometime soon.

 

[Neenie]

Teeeeaaaaaccchhh me!

 

[mick1987]

[quote="patty, post: 29970, member: 257 I love this post. This is so great for you. Enjoy your habituation. I hope to get there sometime soon.[/quote]

Hi patty, the great thing is you like the majority of people will habituate, you will get there, give it time.

 

[yonkapin]

Oh man that's awesome! Congrats and I hope things continue to improve

 

[James White]

That's great man, i'm kind of in the same place now too except i wasn't severly depressed (i knew tinnitus existed for years from other people as i'm a musician) but though i'm OK with it now, i'd still be happy if it went away

 

[Tenna]

Mick im making a success collection of bookmarks, and you made it to the list this is great

 

[mick1987]

Teeeeaaaaaccchhh me!

Hi neenie, to habituate is a gradual automatic thing, you can't force it. I will tell you something though, it is all in your reaction/emotions.

To prove that point I was severely depressed back in august 2012 when I got noise induced tinnitus, I couldn't sleep, miserable, I just wished it would all end and go back to the way it was before, it took me a good year to get over it, well here's the real shocker.....my tinnitus was MILD!, I only heard the noise in the quiet, I was severely depressed in the day and I couldn't even hear it! Then in time I was OK with my mild tinnitus, it was in the late evening I could hear it with the TV on, I cringed and felt I couldn't stay up and went to bed.

Then in October a loud noise increased my tinnitus to moderate level, for the first time I could hear my tinnitus with the TV on in the daytime, it was a lot louder, the tone changed as well it went from a soft hissing noise to roaring, gas oven type noise, scared the shit out of me, started crying in the evening, started drinking whisky at night because I was in such a mess, I would get drunk every night so I could sleep, kept this routine up for months, kept telling myself I will have to do this for the rest of my life to cope, created about a 1000 threads on tinnitus support forums etc. Then the AMAZING thing happened, Christmas time, I was laughing, in a good mood, I had forgotten about me stressing out, I forgot I was depressed, I forgot I had increased tinnitus, my brain just totally switched off from the noise, it was like grieving for a while then losing all of the depression, anxiety etc. I was back to normal, just like when I had mild tinnitus, in fact I was better than before! I can sit up late in the evening and watch tv, I could hear the tinnitus clearly (loudist in the evening) but it didn't register, same with sleep.

The best way I can describe it now is my tinnitus is now like an external noise, I wouldn't burst out crying if I heard radio/TV static, that's all my tinnitus is now, a non threatening noise, because it is a non threatening noise it is not even in my consciousness a lot of the time, like you don't notice a refrigerator making noise or a ticking clock on the wall or the noise of rain, you don't pay any attention to any of these noises because they are non threatening, same with the tinnitus.

Anyway I talking to much..lol, imagine neenie the way you felt before tinnitus when you were happy, now imagine feeling like you did before...with a noise in your head, imagine being really happy with tinnitus, that you barely think of, even when you do it doesn't bother you, I'm happy again because my brain has lost interest in the noise.

But I will say one thing, I read stuff like this over and over, but it didn't sink in, sure it would be positive, but I would soon forget and slip back into depression. REMEMBER one thing neenie, you can't read yourself better, its when it actually happens to you then you will get it, I was depressed about mild tinnitus for a year, then this moderate tinnitus for 3 months, I've had tinnitus for 17 months now, it takes TIME to habituate, you have to just go with the flow until your brain/emotions get bored of the noise, then you will be happy again neenie, I'm sure of it, take care, mick.

 

[carol kane]

So happy for you Mick ... i'm still trying to cope 11.5 weeks now, still drinking a little just to take the edge off, i guess i still have a long way to go!!!

 

[mick1987]

So happy for you Mick ... i'm still trying to cope 11.5 weeks now, still drinking a little just to take the edge off, i guess i still have a long way to go!!!

Hi carol, I think now I was so depressed because I was getting drunk every night, it was magnifying how I felt, quitting alcohol helped me a lot. I think it took me so long to get used to mild tinnitus because I was abusing alcohol, I mean even if you didn't have tinnitus getting drunk everyday for a year would make anyone depressed! The one thing i did notice though even when drinking was each month there was little improvements, 11 weeks is so little time carol, I read most people take a year or two to get over the tinnitus distress, not always though, some get there sooner, what you should do (what I did) is count the months, with every passing month you felt a little better, little landmarks, as time goes on you get better, that's the great thing about time, nothing ever stays the same, little improvements, you won't be miserable forever, I consider myself back to normal.

 

[EdnaLegume]

Brilliant posts Mick! Just brilliant. So happy for you.

 

[Stina]

Hi carol, I think now I was so depressed because I was getting drunk every night, it was magnifying how I felt, quitting alcohol helped me a lot. I think it took me so long to get used to mild tinnitus because I was abusing alcohol, I mean even if you didn't have tinnitus getting drunk everyday for a year would make anyone depressed! The one thing i did notice though even when drinking was each month there was little improvements, 11 weeks is so little time carol, I read most people take a year or two to get over the tinnitus distress, not always though, some get there sooner, what you should do (what I did) is count the months, with every passing month you felt a little better, little landmarks, as time goes on you get better, that's the great thing about time, nothing ever stays the same, little improvements, you won't be miserable forever, I consider myself back to normal.

Im glad you have overcome the obsctacles This shows that you are a very strong person. I hope you will be able to use that strength to achieve whatever goals you have.

 

[mick1987]

Thanks Stina, wishing you all the best to.

 

[carol kane]

Hi carol, I think now I was so depressed because I was getting drunk every night, it was magnifying how I felt, quitting alcohol helped me a lot. I think it took me so long to get used to mild tinnitus because I was abusing alcohol, I mean even if you didn't have tinnitus getting drunk everyday for a year would make anyone depressed! The one thing i did notice though even when drinking was each month there was little improvements, 11 weeks is so little time carol, I read most people take a year or two to get over the tinnitus distress, not always though, some get there sooner, what you should do (what I did) is count the months, with every passing month you felt a little better, little landmarks, as time goes on you get better, that's the great thing about time, nothing ever stays the same, little improvements, you won't be miserable forever, I consider myself back to normal.

I love this post, thanks Mick, you are one of the first member i spoke to when i first joined TT, you had just had a new spike from the car bonnet, i'm so happy that you got over it, and your kind words gave me hope ... they still do! bless you for caring ... i will soldier on for now praying for Habituation ... Thanks again!!!

 

[mick1987]

Thanks for your kind words carol, you struck a cord with me because you reminded me of myself, especially with using alcohol to cope, I know it is tough at the start, but you need to know it won't last, it can be very lonely in the first year, the uncertainty of if you will habituate etc, but hang in there, it gets so much easier!

(PS, in the other post I meant to say little milestones, not little landmarks...LOL!)

 

[carol kane]

Thanks for your kind words carol, you struck a cord with me because you reminded me of myself, especially with using alcohol to cope, I know it is tough at the start, but you need to know it won't last, it can be very lonely in the first year, the uncertainty of if you will habituate etc, but hang in there, it gets so much easier!

(PS, in the other post I meant to say little milestones, not little landmarks...LOL!)

I will try and hang in there Mick ... i trust you ... thanks!!!

 

[Neenie]

Thanks Mick for the post. I like reading posts like the one you wrote me because it makes me hopeful that maybe, just maybe it's possible to habituate to my noise as well! I think you are definitely right when you said "you can't read yourself better" because that is exactly what I've been trying to do, and much like you said, I'll read something, feel positive, but then 20 minutes later be in severe depression again because I've forgotten all the positive stuff. Or I think that positive stuff only happens to other people, not me. Ever since tinnitus I hear every sound so clearly, sounds that I never used to even notice. Like now I am in fact aware of the ticking clock, and the fridge, and the sound of the aircon, and the traffic, and the wind, and the birds, everything I now notice! And i don't quite know how to un-notice those noises either. I guess I'll just have to give it time and try not to stress over it and listen out for it. Most of my day is spent constantly analyzing, like "can I hear it now?" "How about now?" "And now?" "Is it better?" "Is it worse?" And that basically repeats in my head every minute even when I try hard to concentrate on other things. I can't seem to shift my focus at all. But thanks for your post. Makes me happy that you are ok and that means maybe one day I'll be ok too!

 

[michela]

Neenie-try to imagine-its not 2014 now,but 2018. what do you think-will you still feel as bad as you feel today in 2018 or will you laugh about "it" if 2018 you look back to 2014?

 

[mick1987]

Thanks Mick for the post. I like reading posts like the one you wrote me because it makes me hopeful that maybe, just maybe it's possible to habituate to my noise as well! I think you are definitely right when you said "you can't read yourself better" because that is exactly what I've been trying to do, and much like you said, I'll read something, feel positive, but then 20 minutes later be in severe depression again because I've forgotten all the positive stuff. Or I think that positive stuff only happens to other people, not me. Ever since tinnitus I hear every sound so clearly, sounds that I never used to even notice. Like now I am in fact aware of the ticking clock, and the fridge, and the sound of the aircon, and the traffic, and the wind, and the birds, everything I now notice! And i don't quite know how to un-notice those noises either. I guess I'll just have to give it time and try not to stress over it and listen out for it. Most of my day is spent constantly analyzing, like "can I hear it now?" "How about now?" "And now?" "Is it better?" "Is it worse?" And that basically repeats in my head every minute even when I try hard to concentrate on other things. I can't seem to shift my focus at all. But thanks for your post. Makes me happy that you are ok and that means maybe one day I'll be ok too!

Neenie, remember your reactions/thinking is NORMAL, i was the same for 12 months after, you dont need to do anything, when you think of your T and get depressed, this is normal. All you should do is give it a year, chances are you will be alot better, remember neenie that all the negative thoughts are normal, let them happen, you don't think yourself better, it happen's automatically, give yourself 1 year minimum before you come to the conclusion if your habituating or not, chance's are you will be well on your way back to normal. Take care.

 

[Neenie]

Thanks man. I guess I just have to give it more time. But thanks for saying that it will get better in time. Means a great deal to me. I can't 100% believe it, but I hope you are right! And I trust in your words!

 

[Penelope33]

It does get lower in volume too..... Or how you hear it becomes lower . I'm sat in silence too, and i can hear the noises but I'm getting tired if caring I think. Reacting to it takes up so much energy . It's simpler to think, f&&k you t!! And switch off. I think today also was the first day I've not cried .

 

[mick1987]

Its hard to believe you will stop caring about tinnitus but you do! Think of all the mental energy you have gone through since getting T, now imagine keeping that up for the rest of your life, after a year your bored of it, you naturally lose the depression, anxiety etc, you get back to normal, just look at most posts, there from people who have had tinnitus for less than a year, I only started posting again because of a spike, now I'm just like before the increase,( even though it was a permanent increase) im back to normal. I didn't believe it was possible, I thought you had to be incredibly strong and positive to habituate, I was wrong, you'll see!

 

[kenji]

the whole world has some level of T ... its when its too loud ...is when were looking for a cure to tame it ...ive had T as far as back as high school ..but recently mine got a little to loud i went in for emergency auricular acupuncture ...to settle the nerves ..impart from anxiety ...it has decreased to normal ringing but still annoying ....im staying positive it will resolve

 

[Denny]

Great to hear this mick.

 

[PingoJack]

Love your story Mick! It's so close to my own experience. I had a sudden set back about a month ago by loud noise exposure and reading your story now reminded me that habituation can work wonders. My habituation time gets shorter every time this happens. It started out several years ago with a very very mild T (a T that would seem like paradise today). Basically a T that I could only hear in a very silent room. Nonetheless, it freaked me out too. Today I can hear it almost every time I check for it, while watching TV, in the car etc etc. Your post gave me comfort in the fact that given some time the T and emotions will be separate.

 

[Slay]

You were on alcohol every night all this period of habituation?