I wanted to share my tinnitus journey as well, as I always promised that if I got to a point where I was starting to feel better, I would be sure to come back and let people know!
My T journey started in November of 2014. I came back from my lunch break, went into my office, and my ears started to ring (loud tonal constant ring). After a few minutes of it not going away, I started to full on panic. I walked out of my office trying to see if I could calm myself down and it go away, but it wouldn't. I ended up going home early from work because I was in such distress panicking about my ears. I was a wreck the whole first night, stayed up all through the night and visited my doctor at 7AM the next morning.
When at my doctor, she looked at me for two seconds, told me it was tinnitus, and said I should go on anxiety medication because I had a "low quality of life" and that I would have to "learn to live with it". I was beyond frustrated, upset, nervous, anxious, angry and decided to see another doctor. He said the same thing, but referred me to an ENT. Over the next two months and two ENTs, two Audiologists (including a tinnitus clinic), two Chiropractors, and Reflexology....all that couldn't help me. During this time I had anxiety so bad that I couldn't eat. I lost so much weight from just being physically sick from the ringing going on in my head. I even thought about going out on FMLA from my job, as I just couldn't function. I literally had to bring in white noise to some of my meetings, as I just couldn't concentrate on what was going on. I was beyond depressed, and would have panic attacks so bad I think my family was on the verge hospitalizing me. My ringing changed so much along the way: ringing, to hissing, to tonal, always constant and never going away. I also started to get hyperaccousis as well, and became sensitive to tones in the radio as well as the TV.
I have tried tons of vitamin supplements (B Complex, B6, B12, C, D, Magnesium, Lemon Balm, etc.) and nothing worked.I have spent thousands of dollars on trying to find a "cure" for my tinnitus (TMJ therapy-splint, physical therapy, chiropractors, massage, reflexology), but I am slowly starting to understand that there may not be one for me. Although I hope and pray every day that there is, I am starting to come to terms with the fact that I may have to "live with this" forever.
Is it frustrating? Yes. Is it annoying? Yes. But can I live like this? Yes. We are living, breathing, not dying, and have a purpose in life. Every day I feel better living with T. It bothers me less and less because I am working on my emotional reaction to it. I am telling myself every day that it could get better. I have good days, and bad days, and get super scared when I get an increase, but I keep telling myself that I can do this. I've met and talked with people that have had the same journey as me when they first got their T, and years later they forget they have it, or only notice they have it at certain times such as right before going to bed. I still have to listen to white noise to fall asleep, and I still surround myself with sound all of the time because of some fear, but I can sit in my office with the computer fans and not let it bother me. I try to stay active, and keep my brain moving, but I also am trying to let myself slow down too, and embrace T so I can enjoy things like reading, or taking a bath. By no means do I not have any times that I panic or get frustrated and upset, but my hopes are that by summer I can just sit in a lawn chair and not worry one bit about my T. I am determined to get on a path where T doesn't take one bit of my life away.
If anything, maybe the purpose of my T was to bring me closer to my family and friends (it has), bring me closer to my community (met so many people with T), and ultimately bring me closer to God (which it definitely has). God doesn't let anyone struggle without a reason, and I was brought closer to my Faith than ever before. If you are struggling, watch this series. It has been the thing to help me the most during my extremely difficult and frustrating T journey. http://meantimeseries.org/ I have so many people praying for me that it will get better. I can feel their prayers and support through the motivation and sense of calm that I experience more and more every day. It will get better if you want it to get better, which we all do. Stay positive, be hopeful, and we will all get better each day!
My T journey started in November of 2014. I came back from my lunch break, went into my office, and my ears started to ring (loud tonal constant ring). After a few minutes of it not going away, I started to full on panic. I walked out of my office trying to see if I could calm myself down and it go away, but it wouldn't. I ended up going home early from work because I was in such distress panicking about my ears. I was a wreck the whole first night, stayed up all through the night and visited my doctor at 7AM the next morning.
When at my doctor, she looked at me for two seconds, told me it was tinnitus, and said I should go on anxiety medication because I had a "low quality of life" and that I would have to "learn to live with it". I was beyond frustrated, upset, nervous, anxious, angry and decided to see another doctor. He said the same thing, but referred me to an ENT. Over the next two months and two ENTs, two Audiologists (including a tinnitus clinic), two Chiropractors, and Reflexology....all that couldn't help me. During this time I had anxiety so bad that I couldn't eat. I lost so much weight from just being physically sick from the ringing going on in my head. I even thought about going out on FMLA from my job, as I just couldn't function. I literally had to bring in white noise to some of my meetings, as I just couldn't concentrate on what was going on. I was beyond depressed, and would have panic attacks so bad I think my family was on the verge hospitalizing me. My ringing changed so much along the way: ringing, to hissing, to tonal, always constant and never going away. I also started to get hyperaccousis as well, and became sensitive to tones in the radio as well as the TV.
I have tried tons of vitamin supplements (B Complex, B6, B12, C, D, Magnesium, Lemon Balm, etc.) and nothing worked.I have spent thousands of dollars on trying to find a "cure" for my tinnitus (TMJ therapy-splint, physical therapy, chiropractors, massage, reflexology), but I am slowly starting to understand that there may not be one for me. Although I hope and pray every day that there is, I am starting to come to terms with the fact that I may have to "live with this" forever.
Is it frustrating? Yes. Is it annoying? Yes. But can I live like this? Yes. We are living, breathing, not dying, and have a purpose in life. Every day I feel better living with T. It bothers me less and less because I am working on my emotional reaction to it. I am telling myself every day that it could get better. I have good days, and bad days, and get super scared when I get an increase, but I keep telling myself that I can do this. I've met and talked with people that have had the same journey as me when they first got their T, and years later they forget they have it, or only notice they have it at certain times such as right before going to bed. I still have to listen to white noise to fall asleep, and I still surround myself with sound all of the time because of some fear, but I can sit in my office with the computer fans and not let it bother me. I try to stay active, and keep my brain moving, but I also am trying to let myself slow down too, and embrace T so I can enjoy things like reading, or taking a bath. By no means do I not have any times that I panic or get frustrated and upset, but my hopes are that by summer I can just sit in a lawn chair and not worry one bit about my T. I am determined to get on a path where T doesn't take one bit of my life away.
If anything, maybe the purpose of my T was to bring me closer to my family and friends (it has), bring me closer to my community (met so many people with T), and ultimately bring me closer to God (which it definitely has). God doesn't let anyone struggle without a reason, and I was brought closer to my Faith than ever before. If you are struggling, watch this series. It has been the thing to help me the most during my extremely difficult and frustrating T journey. http://meantimeseries.org/ I have so many people praying for me that it will get better. I can feel their prayers and support through the motivation and sense of calm that I experience more and more every day. It will get better if you want it to get better, which we all do. Stay positive, be hopeful, and we will all get better each day!
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