Good Things That Friends or Family Have Done to Help or Show That They Care

[Starlord]

Alrighty...So I had an idea to make a thread where people list the different ways that people in their lives, wether family or friends, have done things to help easy the burden of tinnitus and/or hyperacusis or just show that they care and remember what you are going through. In a way I want to make this a type of an Alternative Success Story. One where a simple gesture made a great deal of difference to you or or made your day a bit brighter.

OK...Go!

 

[Starlord]

For me, I have a friend that once sent me a link to a video that she saw on her Facebook feed of a way that could give me some relief from tinnitus. I hadn't mentioned tinnitus to her in months, but none the less it showed me that she still remembered and cared. The technique in the video did not work, but I did realize how good of a friend I had.

The same friend also asked me, as we were walking into a movie theater to watch "IT" last week, if I brought ear plugs. A bit late to mention it, but nonetheless I was prepared. But it still meant a great deal to me that she was concerned and remembered.

 

[Starlord]

One day I was playing with my neighbors grandchildren outside; a boy of 4 and a girl of 2 years of age. Being kids they can scream and yell and get really loud sometimes. Even after asking them not to scream and yell, they quiet down for 5 seconds and instantly forget..cant blame them. So once I had a mini pow-wow session with the boy and told him that I listened to music one day too loud and now my hears hurt and ring all the time. The boy looked at me in such an empathetic way and came closer to me...with me thinking he would give me a hug or something...instead he pressed his little ear against mine and tried to see if he could hear the ringing. haha I was caught off guard by this, but it was still one of the most endearing moments I've experienced during this journey.

 

[Lex]

* Numerous FB friends have tagged me to all kinds of earplug ads.
* The coworker sitting beside me speaks in a lower voice when talking to me.
* A teenage niece reminded me to wear my earplugs properly when she saw them popping out of my ears.
* My senior citizen parents visit me 2x a month to help around the flat, doing chores I can't do due to noise.
* My partner never raises his voice even if we're arguing and I know he's pissed off. He also prepares healthy meals for me.
* My employer transferred me to a quiet corner of the office after I made the request. They also exempted me from conference calls.
* Some close friends have developed the habit of asking managers to lower the music volume of their establishments when they're with me.
* My sister pulled the plug of a hand dryer at the washroom of a restaurant because I could still hear it going off from the other side of the room.


I know people with healthy hearing fail to fully grasp what it means to have T and H. But bless their hearts, some of them do try their best.

 

[jimH]

@Lex ...you are blessed with such considerate and wonderful friends, coworkers and family members! Your partner is a "Keeper," for sure. Glad you have so much support!

 

[threefirefour]

Here's a list of all the helpful things other people have don't for me and my tinnitus:








.

 

[Christophe_85]

Problem is they cannot know how bad this can be...

And my family with the children always forget it, because this is not something that we can see...

Of course they try to help even if they cannot do anything about it...

Sorry for my negative message but I am really fed up with this shit...

 

[Starlord]

Yea, lets not turn this into a negative thread. There's enough of that going around.

On another note, my parents dont fully grasp it either, same with a bunch of other people. They think it's as simple as just wearing earplugs, but that does increase the noise due to blockage of all external sounds. It's complex. People dont know what it's like. I get it. I just wanted positive experiences of human accounts. Kind of like those youtube videos that you see titled "faith in humanity restored."

 

[Christophe_85]

Yea, lets not turn this into a negative thread. There's enough of that going around.

On another note, my parents dont fully grasp it either, same with a bunch of other people. They think it's as simple as just wearing earplugs, but that does increase the noise due to blockage of all external sounds. It's complex. People dont know what it's like. I get it. I just wanted positive experiences of human accounts. Kind of like those youtube videos that you see titled "faith in humanity restored."

Ok I will not continue into a negative way...

So funny thing is that since I have T and H, I want to share more with my sisters, my brother and their children...

I need to see them more often... Even with the very loud children !

Same for my friends, however I try to see them like on lunch breaks almost every week...

 

[Lex]

@Lex ...you are blessed with such considerate and wonderful friends, coworkers and family members! Your partner is a "Keeper," for sure. Glad you have so much support!

Thanks! I focus too much on my pain sometimes that I forget about people I should be grateful for.

It's not perfect of course. I lost some friends -- the people I used to go to bars and festivals with. Also some travel buddies, because I can no longer just get on a plane and fly off somewhere. It's sad but I can't make people stick around if they don't want to. But the people who are still here -- friends from college, previous jobs, living arrangements, social organizations, etc. -- are doing their best to accommodate and understand my needs. As for family, well, I come from a country where close family ties are highly valued.

 

[Fabrikat]

Though it's ever so faint @threefirefour, I do admire that you bothered to put in a full stop at the end of your 'list'. Good punctuation is important!

 

[Manny]

Okay. Old thread but so what.
So my parents are ultra-religious and that is how I was brought up, but I took a different path, and while I appreciate the religion and culture with which I grew up, it is not how I live my life. I know my parents are terribly disappointed by this and unfortunately it hurts them deeply. Not a small number of parents in a similar position have completely "cut off" their children. Sure, this is wrong, but it is the reality.
But my parents are only supportive of me in my tinnitus torture. They are always there to listen to me when I call and they help support me financially when necessary despite not having much money themselves. They care about me deeply. Of course this is what they should do, but I don't take it for granted.
Also my coworker brought me earplugs when I forgot mine by a wedding. That was very nice.
Unfortunately society in general is really not at all sympathetic to tinnitus. Especially because I look normal on the outside, physically speaking.