Hard Times With My Tinnitus

G

gbt

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Hello Dr. Nagler,

When I was little (12 yo old) I had a T for a week for a little acoustic trauma. A pure tone hiss.
During my childwood I remember at night or when I plugged the ears I could hear a white noise. Not loud, never bothered me. I thought it was the sound of silence. It went on for years, I don't even know when it went away but I noticed in the last year I did not have it anymore. I lost 100lb last year and I thought "Now I'm healthy, probably went away becouse of that". But as I said I don't know when it went away, I'm sure I never ever noticed it during highschool so...
During my childwood I had few otitis too. Always been cured asap. I was years since the last one.
Last summer was great and I felt good. It was strange to me because I'm an anxious man, stressed, mildly depressed and everything that follows. Always been. Last year I felt reborn and I thought I was starting living again.
In January I started to have these up and downs, somedays I felt tired and depressed, I had headaches, bloating, cold. A weird itch too, mostly in hands and wrists, and feets. It was more when I was sweating. It was hard to me to concentrate and I had no energy. Then the other days I was normal. It happened in the past, from few days in few months to few days in a month. Now were like few days every week.
I had to give 4 exams in college, so I studied a lot, drunk a lot of coffee and I was stressed. Meanwhile I did my things to, running, playing bass, going out etc. Then the exams session ended, I passed all of them and I was happy and fne. Two days later I started to feeling bad again. I felt really tired and felt that my brain was full and overflown and that night I found out I had tinnitus in both ears, most in the right one. Really loud, penetrating and scary. Ears were burning and I was panicking.
After a week the volume turned down a little and now its stable. It has been 4 months.I hear white noise, pure high freq tones, sounds like train brakes, something distorted. It changes and it's louder when I'm tired. It's louder when I don't move too, or when I'm not outside.
Few days ago I found out my father had T for few months too. He said his it's loud too. So we both had this tinnitus around the same time. Coincidence? What happened?
I had gastritis too. Really strong pain. I had some episodes while I was losing weight and while I was working (it was a stressfull job).
I saw an ENT few times, I had hearing tests, impedenzometry, ABR, and an MRI...nothing found.
It's really awful and stressful. I don't know how can I live with this if it doesn't disappear. I'm only 21 yo. I feel fullness, I feel burning like if I have something spicy in my ears. I feel pressure too. In the left hear sometimes I felt pain! Pressure and pain.
I paused my life 4 months ago. I hoped that would disappear. I stopped drink caffeine, using headphones and earbuds. Keept all the volumes down. Played the bass most times with earplugs (-20db and -30db). I never smoked and did not drink alchool in over years. Never when to disco and just a few concerts, the last one was 6 months before the T.
Now I don't play anymore, I can't listen to music, it's hard to study, It's hard to go to college and listen to the lectures. I don't see my (few) friends. I don't feel normal, I feel like crap. I really don't see a future. I can't do everything I was used to do anymore. Everynight I go to sleep with a loud tinnitus and headaches. As I said in the beginning, I felt great last year, and now it's all over already. Everything it's harder to do.
I tried today, after months, to play my bass (that I used to absolutely love). I felt nothing. I played songs, listened to songs and I felt nothing.
I never been that attached to life. Now my brain is doing this to me...
I really don't know what to do.

Thanks a lot.
 
I really don't know what to do.
Well when I was in your shoes back in 1994, I made it my primary focus to find a reputable doctor who could evaluate me and recommend a treatment protocol that would help. And I was fortunate to find one.

These days, however, after one or two false starts, folks turn to the Internet in such circumstances. Well, I guess I had more than a dozen false starts before I hit pay-dirt. So my suggestion would be to keep plugging away at it, and to not be disheartened too much by what you read on tinnitus boards.

I'll attach a piece below on self-CBT that might help while you are continuing your search for the right doctor.

All the best with it.

Dr. Stephen Nagler
 

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