Have I Stupidly Worsened My Ears?

[Vicki14]

Hi folks,

Thanks for taking the time to read my post. Just needing some support really as I'm just becoming so exhausted by all of this. Who could have thought that something like this could cause such suffering?

I have had tinnitus for 1.5 years, hypercausis followed 6 months later after micro suction which I now regret as did increased T. I've wrestled every day with this to try and maintain some normality for the sake of my beautiful family. To say I've found it challenging is an understatement. The noise in itself and unwanted emotions it brings with it is enough but withdrawal from situations you once enjoyed rubs salt into the wound.

Anyways, I've been careful to protect my ears with custom plugs and avoiding noisy places and using common sense as most folk suggest on this forum to prevent further spikes.

On Wednesday, I did some gardening and used a strimmer, with Pelter hearing protection. I noticed when I took them off my ears had spiked like an increased eeeeeee. Tried not to worry about it too much and went out for dinner that evening. That night, when I went bed I heard what sounded like a bluebottle buzzing. Didn't give it too much attention and went to bed.

Next morning, it was still there. Immediately got that horrible anxiety realising it was still there . Still is. It sounds like a bluebottle buzzing around my head or like someone outside strimming or a motorcycle in the distance. On top of the already hissy/tonal T I'm just feeling a bit defeated by it. I've also noticed that showering doesn't mask it and this was somewhere I could find my relief for some time. Feeling very trapped inside my own head.

I'm just feeling that this condition is completely overwhelming and frightening and it scares me that I'm eventually going to reach a point where I can't cope. The lack of options with this is very soul destroying and saddening when reading that folk think that S is the only way out. I love my life but find this condition steals joy from your life.

Sorry this all sounds negative, it's just scaring me that I've added more damage to ears when I was *trying* to get on with life as normally as I can. Feeling too that my H has increased and when listening to some music on my iPad last night it sounded almost distorted.

Tinnitus knows how to kick you when you're down!! Xx

 

[Pomme]

There is no doubt that having to deal with T and H at the same time is exhausting. No matter how much of a brave face you put on, inside you are in bits. However, we still manage to get up the next day and find the strength to get on with life as best we can. Remember you aren't alone in dealing with this. Just try to rest up and be kind to yourself. I hope you feel a little better soon

 

[Bill Bauer]

There is still a chance that the spike is going to be temporary. According to one poll on this forum, most temporary spikes last more than a week...

 

[Vicki14]

Thank you @Pomme for your lovely reply.

@Bill Bauer - hopefully. Just a bit freaked by this 'new sound' .

 

[Pomme]

@Vicki14 How are you today ? Do you feel pain at all with your H or do you just feel sensitive to certain sounds ?

 

[Vicki14]

Good morning @Pomme. Thank you so much for your concern! . My ears are actually bad today to the he point I'm so anxious and shaking. They feel VERY sensitive to sound and almost wobbly inside. The shower would be a comfort to me normally but I'm actually finding this is hurting my ears which I'm quite distressed about as thiscwould normally be my relief. The buzzing noise also there too so I'm really very deflated and so angry with myself for attempting to strimthe garden even with Pelters on. Just feeling like this is like attempting to climb a big greasy pole. I'm absolutely terrified that I've caused more damage to my fragile ears!
Thank you so much for your message, it was very timely! Hope you are doing ok? Xx

 

[Pomme]

@Vicki14 It's immensely difficult not to be worried when we have a setback. Hopefully it will be just a spike and settle back down soon. Do you use WNG's over your ears at all or are you just relying on sounds around you to mask the T and H ?

 

[Vicki14]

@Pomme - I honestly feel my ears have spiked and arenot going to settle. They are off the scale and really freaking me out. I can't focus and shaking!!! I was doing ok'ish until this too. I just feel total despair with it. Really very scared. This is prob the WORST my ears have been and I'm absolutely kicking myself after being so careful. I just want to cry!!! What's WNG's? X

 

[Vicki14]

@Pomme , I'm due to fly to Tenerife next week and absolutely dreading it more so now xx

 

[Pomme]

@Vicki14 Try not to get too distressed about what's happened. It's easier said than done I know !!!. Do you have any medication to help you deal with the anxiety at all ? Maybe speak to your GP to get something to help.
WNG's are white noise generators that are similar to hearing aids except they play sound into your ears to help mask the tinnitus and try to desensitize the effects of Hyperacusis. You could ask your GP or ENT consultant about getting them in the future.
I am sure you will feel better by the time you set off for your holiday. Are you planning on using earplugs or noise cancelling headphones for the plane ?

 

[Vicki14]

@Pomme, I sincerely hope you are right! Yes, I have Propanol for anxiety but try to avoid taking mess if I can as that just panics me even more and makes me feel like I'm loosing the battle with this. I've actually been to private Audiologist for TDT and wear white noise generators and due to stop using them next week too. I honestly do t think I'd be able to hear the white noise right now as my ears are hissing soooo badly, almost angry. I'm trying to be calm but doing things which gave me relief before, showering, walking, washing machine on etc are not helping and it's panicking me I've no where to turn for relief. The bluebottle noise inside my head is freaking me out too on top of the already angry hissing and painful ears. I'm presuming that this is letting me know I've caused more damage? . I've already been to see GPs, audiologists etc but think you just have to ride it out. It's the lack of help with this I find very despairing. Thank you for your helpful and comforting posts. Just want this noise to STOP, like everyone else so I can get on with my life again instead of living in fear! Xxx

 

[Vicki14]

@Pomme i have custom plugs and Pelters headphones I use for the flight. The way my ears are feeling right now though it's the last thing they need!!!!

 

[Pomme]

@Vicki14 You need to take something to help you calm down. I know it's frightening at the moment but just try and keep busy. Hopefully you will feel better later today. There's every chance it's just a spike and you haven't made your ears worse. It's hard to keep going but keep focused on your family and be kind to yourself

 

[Vicki14]

@Pomme I truly APPRECIATE your kind words of comfort, especially from someone who understands the torture of tinnitus and its pitfalls. It truly helps to talk to those who understand. Suppose I'm just tired of constantly having to keep busy to stop myself from becoming too anxious. I just ache to truly relax and switch off which I haven't since the onset of this.
I think I just become frustrated by setback after setback and wondering if I'm doing the right things for my ears. Not truly understanding all this he facts and figures is exhausting and I try to be sensible and listen to my body but obviously that's not enough if I'm having all these setbacks. Suppose I just despair at what this has done to my life and the pressure it's put on my family.
Thanks for your support, means so much xx

 

[Tommi_boi]

Hi Vicki,

I can offer some advice because I'm prone to getting panic attacks too.

I've actually exprienced all types of Tinnitus and one thing I can say is , despite having a little H myself it can get better.

Same goes for a lot of T sufferers.

It's all linked to an emotional response. You need to train your brain to ignore these ( easier said than done) .

I started doing this with my H problem when I noticed car brakes would make my ears flutter a little.

Try a month or so of not caring about this noise, I was able to get a lot better from this.

Feel free to message if you need some help on coping

 

[Vicki14]

@Tommi_boi thank you so much for your reply. Yeah, I'm fighting off a panic attack with this increased noise and sensitivity. I'm just absolutely kicking myself for being so damn stupid strimming which didn't sound overly loud with my Pelters on! . Life with t is like living on egg shells!!!
How long have you had yours? X

 

[Tommi_boi]

@Tommi_boi thank you so much for your reply. Yeah, I'm fighting off a panic attack with this increased noise and sensitivity. I'm just absolutely kicking myself for being so damn stupid strimming which didn't sound overly loud with my Pelters on! . Life with t is like living on egg shells!!!
How long have you had yours? X

Ye take your time over your panic attack, I had one on Monday actually when a siren went off near me, but for the most part I'm relaxed again now.

So I had my first onset of H (or sensitivity to sound) about last April. During that time I actually went through a lot of anxiety (and still do sometimes when I think it's gotten worse).

During that time though I learnt that car brakes mostly, as offending as they sound sometimes , they won't make me worse and it's the frequency not the loudness that my ears struggle with a little.

From calming down it does seem to help and I definitely improved my tolerance over time .

I still struggle with things like main roads though as it was an ambulance that caused this in the first place for me..

Moving forwards , just when your using things like a strimmer wear some sort of protecting and you'll be alright .

They day H for a lot of people is more fixable than T so that's the good news .

 

[Bear0211]

With you all the way my lovely friend <3 @Vicki14 xx

 

[Vicki14]

@Tommi_boi - oh my, those unexpected noise are just the worst! They just ramp up your anxiety? Goodness! Was it an ambulance that caused the T or H? How awful!
The thing was that I did have Pelter hearing protection on but it's obviously just been too much for my ears as I've now been left with what sounds like flys buzzing and increased T & H. My H has got more bothersome too. It's just the anxiety you get when you realise you've stupidly brought it upon yourself!!!

 

[Vicki14]

@Bear0211 Ha! Fancy meeting you here! . You too buddy, if it weren't for your suppport not sure how I'd have gotten through the tough times! Xxx

 

[Pomme]

@Vicki14 How are you getting on ? Any improvement at all ?

 

[Vicki14]

@Pomme Morning! Awh you're so thoughtful, thanks for your concern!! Um, not really... . I still have the bluebottle buzzing noise and slightly increased t which has calmed down a bit. I've been reading on the forum that when normally hearing damage occurs, you tend to hear it soon afterwards. I remember taking my Pelters off and my left ear has spiked quite loudly
And the buzzing started that night.

It's the setbacks which are tough and it's hard to deal with the self regret of what you've just stupidly done which drives up your anxiety and stress. I just feel this whole condition is so mentally testing. Like everyone else on this forum, I just want to feel like the 'old' me. Waking up without any anxiety, getting through the day without any stress and just feeling truly joyous and relaxed with life. I miss it all terribly as I know it can't truly be the same again having this fear attached to my ears.

Thank you for thinking of me. Hope you are doing okay? Xx

 

[Tommi_boi]

@Tommi_boi - oh my, those unexpected noise are just the worst! They just ramp up your anxiety? Goodness! Was it an ambulance that caused the T or H?

Well, I use to play in bands (the classic case) which gave me my first ear injury, but I think it was the ambulance that pushed me over the edge.

Since then I've had sound sensitivity and I tend to watch roads for ambulances, But I try do it with an element of calm and most of the time it's ok.

If I was you I would relax a little more and not wake up with negative thoughts waiting for it to leave, these things take time but it will get better.

After my own little panic attack I've actually felt as if my tolerance has improved and I'm sure it's the same with yours. H is easier to cure than T is.

I'm lucky as I have an office job and so it keeps my busy and I forget about H pretty much most of the time other than when I have to the travel to work ( I take the tube)

 

[Pomme]

@Tommi_boi How do you cope on the tube with hyperacusis ? Do you plug your ears ?

 

[Tommi_boi]

@Tommi_boi How do you cope on the tube with hyperacusis ? Do you plug your ears ?

I used to a lot , I had a real fear of one station in particular as it was loud outside (dodgy rail tracks probably ) but I decided to test myself and not wear protection going through this as I figured I never had an issue with them after my acoustic accident and I was fine.

After a few weeks of bravery I now don't really used ear protection that much on trains, except sometimes when trains pull into the platform. The brakes still make me a little nervous .

For those living on London "Euston" train station is where I noticed it got louder!

How is it for you ?

.

 

[Pomme]

@Tommi_boi I am trying to build up some courage to get back using the train. My hyperacusis is causing me great fear to attempt such a trip. I need to conquer this as I need to get back to work asap. I am struggling

 

[Tommi_boi]

@Tommi_boi My hyperacusis is causing me great fear to attempt such a trip. I need to conquer this as I need to get back to work asap. I am struggling

I know exactly how you feel. What sort I hyperacusis do you have, is it the one with pain or just certain sounds that feel distorted ?

I think if it's the pain one, then yes you should be a little more cautious with your ears - but even with that, it is important that you re introduce sound back into your life as hiding from the world is the wrong way to approach H.

I started out with ear plugs on the train, followed by taking them off at quieter stations followed by taking them off for longer periods and now I don't really wear them so much .

I would not overly stress about H, as fear and anxiety will also make your brain feel that sounds are a threat which is counter productive .

Just remember, if millions of other people can handle normal day sounds, then so can you (you need to re introduce these back into your life slowly and carefully).