Heartbroken and in Need of Support

[LiveIGuess]

I am going through my very first proper heartbreak right now. I am going to spare you for the long story, but my closest friend and the guy I am in love with found someone else. Some beautiful girl who came in to his life only a month ago and has already swept him off his feet. Not only that but fixed pretty much everything I have tried to help him with in the one and a half year I have known him. He has known I was in love with him for six months and sort of kept me interested. Whenever he was sad he would say stuff to keep me interested and not letting me move on. He has apologized for this, but he does not even seem sorry. He is so happy with his new girl and I am left here heartbroken and without my closest friend because talking to him makes everything worse. I wish I could be happy for him, but I just can not.

I guess I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay. That I will meet someone better than him, that one day this pain will be over. I am just 18 after all, very young I know, but it still hurts a lot. Some help and support, please?

 

[Sebastians]

It sucks right now, been through that stuff quite a few times myself, so i can relate.
But it will fade away over time and you will meet some guy that is a million times better than this dude. In a few months from now, you won't even remember this one. Or laugh at this post.
Treat yourself well and go do fun stuff or explore norway's nature on a hike.
It's part of life and it will make you stronger.

 

[STi]

You will definitely get over it....It might be easier if you don'the talk to him.

 

[LiveIGuess]

It sucks right now, been through that stuff quite a few times myself, so i can relate.
But it will fade away over time and you will meet some guy that is a million times better than this dude. In a few months from now, you won't even remember this one. Or laugh at this post.
Treat yourself well and go do fun stuff or explore norway's nature on a hike.
It's part of life and it will make you stronger.

Thank you. I really hope it will fade soon.

You will definitely get over it....It might be easier if you don'the talk to him.

I don't talk to him anymore. Took a break from our friendship until my feelings has faded and I finally can be happy for him. This will probably take a while, but hopefully it will get easier now that I don't talk to him anymore. (Though I miss him.. )

 

[Michael2013]

Some beautiful girl who came in to his life only a month ago and has already swept him off his feet.

One day you will be grateful she came into his life. This way he is no longer stringing you along and wasting your time during some of your most important years as a young adult.

 

[Blackbird26]

I am going through my very first proper heartbreak right now. I am going to spare you for the long story, but my closest friend and the guy I am in love with found someone else. Some beautiful girl who came in to his life only a month ago and has already swept him off his feet. Not only that but fixed pretty much everything I have tried to help him with in the one and a half year I have known him. He has known I was in love with him for six months and sort of kept me interested. Whenever he was sad he would say stuff to keep me interested and not letting me move on. He has apologized for this, but he does not even seem sorry. He is so happy with his new girl and I am left here heartbroken and without my closest friend because talking to him makes everything worse. I wish I could be happy for him, but I just can not.

I guess I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay. That I will meet someone better than him, that one day this pain will be over. I am just 18 after all, very young I know, but it still hurts a lot. Some help and support, please?

Man! Seriously? You are better off! You deserve better and WILL have better Lots of time, you're young, have fun! (but I am sorry you're hurting-heartbreak sucks! and so do crappy guy friends who string girls along!)

 

[LiveIGuess]

One day you will be grateful she came into his life. This way he is no longer stringing you along and wasting your time during some of your most important years as a young adult.

Man! Seriously? You are better off! You deserve better and WILL have better Lots of time, you're young, have fun! (but I am sorry you're hurting-heartbreak sucks! and so do crappy guy friends who string girls along!)

I really really hope so, but it just sucks and I miss him a lot. He was my closest friend as well damn it :/ How long will this hearbreak last? Ugh..

 

[LiveIGuess]

Thanks for all your support though.. actually made me feel a bit better. : )

 

[Blackbird26]

I really really hope so, but it just sucks and I miss him a lot. He was my closest friend as well damn it :/ How long will this hearbreak last? Ugh..

It takes time..and it sucks, but I PROMISE the pain will lessen! ....and maybe, just maybe if he truly acknowledges the error of his ways, you guys will be friends again AFTER you're with a great guy who treats you the way you deserve! You will find another best friend and one that will love you. *hugs*

 

[astronomer]

yes, i remember heartbreak @ 18,oh so many decades ago,now at 53 i am happily married for 27 years...those are the times to learn and grow and to be good to yourself !

 

[LiveIGuess]

It takes time..and it sucks, but I PROMISE the pain will lessen! ....and maybe, just maybe if he truly acknowledges the error of his ways, you guys will be friends again AFTER you're with a great guy who treats you the way you deserve! You will find another best friend and one that will love you. *hugs*

*hugs back* Yeah, I won't contact him again until I've found someone else and all feelings are gone. I think he understood he had hurt me, but instead of saying sorry properly, he started defending himself which kinda pissed me off. Usually he'd apologize and I'd believe him, but not now. :/ This is the longest we've gone without talking since I met him and I don't even think he misses me... but I gotta stay positive I guess. I'll find someone else..

yes, i remember heartbreak @ 18,oh so many decades ago,now at 53 i am happily married for 27 years...those are the times to learn and grow and to be good to yourself !

That makes me really happy to hear. : ) I'll do my best and hope I find someone to share my life with in the future.

 

[linearb]

Whenever he was sad he would say stuff to keep me interested and not letting me move on. He has apologized for this, but he does not even seem sorry.

So, the guy is selfish and controlling, and you're better off to have him out of your life. I know it's really tough, but that's probably just how it is.

If I were you I would be trying to sever all contact, complete break, and move-on. Otherwise, he is no doubt going to come back and try to leech more compassion from you the next time he's emotionally needy.

 

[AnxiousJon]

When our world gets bigger, we don't need people that don't really care for us all that much anyway. Just a general observation.
Find some hobbies. Do some studying you've always wanted to do. Drink half a bottle of wine and write something. Find out who God is.

 

[Danny Boy]

I am going through my very first proper heartbreak right now. I am going to spare you for the long story, but my closest friend and the guy I am in love with found someone else. Some beautiful girl who came in to his life only a month ago and has already swept him off his feet. Not only that but fixed pretty much everything I have tried to help him with in the one and a half year I have known him. He has known I was in love with him for six months and sort of kept me interested. Whenever he was sad he would say stuff to keep me interested and not letting me move on. He has apologised for this, but he does not even seem sorry. He is so happy with his new girl and I am left here heartbroken and without my closest friend because talking to him makes everything worse. I wish I could be happy for him, but I just can not.

I guess I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay. That I will meet someone better than him, that one day this pain will be over. I am just 18 after all, very young I know, but it still hurts a lot. Some help and support, please?

You're better off without him. Sounds like a self-serving person who selfishly didn't consider or care for your feelings. I was heartbroken many times, but you have to stay strong and you will get over this, you will find your true love one day, I'm sure of it. I hope you feel better soon.

Best of luck,

Love Danny Boy ^_^

 

[LiveIGuess]

So, the guy is selfish and controlling, and you're better off to have him out of your life. I know it's really tough, but that's probably just how it is.

If I were you I would be trying to sever all contact, complete break, and move-on. Otherwise, he is no doubt going to come back and try to leech more compassion from you the next time he's emotionally needy.

Haven't talked to him in over a week now. Not planning on taking up contact anytime soon either. Thanks for your support. <3

When our world gets bigger, we don't need people that don't really care for us all that much anyway. Just a general observation.
Find some hobbies. Do some studying you've always wanted to do. Drink half a bottle of wine and write something. Find out who God is.

I'm working on it. I joined a gym and has already been there three times in a week haha. It actually helps a lot. Trying to focus on my friends, hobbies I had forgotten I even had because I've been so damn sad, school and on getting better in general. ^^

You're better off without him. Sounds like a self-serving person who selfishly didn't consider or care for your feelings. I was heartbroken many times, but you have to stay strong and you will get over this, you will find your true love one day, I'm sure of it. I hope you feel better soon.

Best of luck,

Love Danny Boy ^_^

Thank you so much. : ) I'm probably going to be a bit more careful next time I get that close to someone, but just as a general update: I feel a lot better already. Sure I miss him and I get sad, but I'm also feeling better than I have in a looong time. He was holding me down. Way more than I realized at the time (considering I already had enough of problems.) Going to talk to a psychologist soon so I can get some help with other problems and I'll do my best to keep my mood up. Thank you everyone. Your support really helped and cheered me up <3

 

[linearb]

Haven't talked to him in over a week now. Not planning on taking up contact anytime soon either.

That's great! I hope I'm wrong about this, but, having seen situations like this a lot -- I'd be sorta surprised if at some point he doesn't try to re-establish contact at a time that's convenient to him, when he needs support (like maybe when the new woman in his life gives him the boot). So just be ready for that, don't be caught off-guard, have a script you can follow.

(And to be fair, I'm not suggesting he's necessarily a bad person; people are sort of inherently self-interested, it's very hard to get away from that).

 

[LiveIGuess]

That's great! I hope I'm wrong about this, but, having seen situations like this a lot -- I'd be sorta surprised if at some point he doesn't try to re-establish contact at a time that's convenient to him, when he needs support (like maybe when the new woman in his life gives him the boot). So just be ready for that, don't be caught off-guard, have a script you can follow.

(And to be fair, I'm not suggesting he's necessarily a bad person; people are sort of inherently self-interested, it's very hard to get away from that).

I'll do my best. If I've moved on I kinda want to have contact with him again tho.. because I know he's not a bad person. He went through a lot of shit with me and helped me a lot. This time things just kinda got messed up.

 

[Vincent777]

Sorry to hear about this, but don't worry, it happened to us all. I've suffered from heartbreaks my whole teenagehood and a good deal in my twenties, I was hearbroken almost a year when I was 17 so to spare you from the same experience I would wholeheartedly recommend this book. http://www.amazon.com/How-Break-Your-Addiction-Person/dp/0553382497

Don't lead the title mislead you, it's excellent for breakups. It saved me when I was breaking up with my long time girlfriend. This book changed my life and you're never too young to learn about evil codependency and how it infects our capacity to love.

Also this might help. http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/codependency-for-dummies-cheat-sheet.html

Remember that you don't need to feel heartbroken, these emotions are NOT outside of your control, you can always choose whether you're going to feel heartbroken, sad and abandoned or not. I write this from my own experience. Nobody else will be responsible on how you feel when you realize this and start practicing it. We're the only ones responsible for our emotions. "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." - Randy Pausch

Although when you're a teenager your emotions are quite strong but still you can learn to control them, the younger the better and the less you'll suffer in the future. Hope that helps, good luck!

 

[stacey]

@LiveIGuess heartbreaks are one of the worse pains to be felt. I have recently had a heartbreak last summer and it was beyond awful, not to tell my full story but my ex boyfriend even sent me pics of him and his new girl on Facebook, and he did it intentionally to hurt me when he already knew I was suffering. I'm gonna be completely honest its been 9 months and I still can't get my mind of it, thinking about how I was betrayed by someone I thought was a "best friend" its horrible to witness someone you know turn into someone you don't even recognize. Along with our struggle with T makes it all the worse. But I will tell you this your still young and I think you will definitely meet someone who will deserve you, it might happen when you least expect it!!! Hang in there, time heals most wounds!

 

[LiveIGuess]

Sorry to hear about this, but don't worry, it happened to us all. I've suffered from heartbreaks my whole teenagehood and a good deal in my twenties, I was hearbroken almost a year when I was 17 so to spare you from the same experience I would wholeheartedly recommend this book. http://www.amazon.com/How-Break-Your-Addiction-Person/dp/0553382497

Also this might help. http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/codependency-for-dummies-cheat-sheet.html

Remember that you don't need to feel heartbroken, these emotions are NOT outside of your control, you can always choose whether you're going to feel heartbroken, sad and abandoned or not. I write this from my own experience. Nobody else will be responsible on how you feel when you realize this and start practicing it. We're the only ones responsible for our emotions. "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." - Randy Pausch

Thanks you so much! Will definitely check out those. I have a tendency to get way too dependent on people and let my emotions take control over me rather than the other way around.

@LiveIGuess heartbreaks are one of the worse pains to be felt. I have recently had a heartbreak last summer and it was beyond awful, not to tell my full story but my ex boyfriend even sent me pics of him and his new girl on Facebook, and he did it intentionally to hurt me when he already knew I was suffering. I'm gonna be completely honest its been 9 months and I still can't get my mind of it, thinking about how I was betrayed by someone I thought was a "best friend" its horrible to witness someone you know turn into someone you don't even recognize. Along with our struggle with T makes it all the worse. But I will tell you this your still young and I think you will definitely meet someone who will deserve you, it might happen when you least expect it!!! Hang in there, time heals most wounds!

Sorry to hear about your heartbreak and mean ex boyfriend. Thanks and you will also find someone great. If your ex boyfriend hurt you on purpose, he should no longer be in your life. Maybe you should check out the links Vincent777 posted as well? Could help us both. We'll get through this. Best of luck and thank you.