Hello Everyone

[McGee]

Hi Everyone, I'm so glad to have found this wonderful group of supportive people. Here's my story.

I've had T for 3 months now. It came on a few days after taking an anti depressant which I then stopped taking because of the ringing. It damaged my hearing and I have been left with mild SNHR in my left ear in the high frequencies and mild hearing loss in my right ear. To say that I am extremely pissed off that a medication that was supposed to help me did this is an understatement. My biggest fear is that my hearing is going to degrade to the point where I become deaf and unfortunately I can't seem to find much info on whether this is going to happen.

I have been reading your posts for the last 2 days and I experienced what many of you did. Anxiety, panic attacks, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat (I lost 11kg!), sobbing and all the rest of it. I googled too much and of course thought I was going to die! Some of the stuff on the net can be toxic for someone like us who is new, scared and desperate for answers. I went to a GP who fobbed me off with some Ativan which I have yet to take because I now have a phobia of medications, if I take more meds and they damage my hearing further I will never get over it. The GP would not give me the referral I wanted so I made an appt. to see an Audio. They did a hearing test and when the hearing loss was discovered, referred me to an ENT. What an ass that guy was! He did send me for an MRI (all clear) but refused to even entertain the notion of the anti depressant being the cause of the hearing loss and T, wouldn't even talk about it with me. He simply told me point blank that my hearing loss and T were age related (I'm 37) and sent me on my way, I was in his office for less than 10 minutes. I cried all the way home and it makes me so mad that people get treated like this everyday

I read all the T do's and don'ts and made a list of all the food I should and shouldn't eat. One place said "do eat this, it's great for sure!!" then another said "OMG, for the love of god don't eat this!!" (slight exaggeration but you get my point ) then I look at my list and see the same food is on both list, so now what??? By the end of my obsessive list making I was left with practically lettuce and water lol. At one point I was trying to cut out Free Glutamate and I remember one site said "don't cook meat on high heat or for too long, grill instead" and another site said "don't grill meat, boil for a long period" by that stage I think something in my mind broke a little! Anyway, I now eat meat, vegetables and fruit (cooked however I friggen well please ) but I don't have salt, sugar, dairy, bread, nuts, gravies, sauces or anything pre packaged. One day I hope to not be so obsessive and allow myself the yummy flavoured foods again. It's the beckon of the "What if doing this really works" that keeps me trapped.

I was doing okay, I think I was actually beginning to habituate to the T when my left ear all of a sudden began to feel "plugged" and I started experiencing sudden bouts of kinda like deafness I guess you could say that lasted about 3 or so seconds. BAM! My anxiety is back, panic is back and I am not sleeping properly again. I get this really weird thing when trying to sleep which I have read happens with extreme panic and anxiety. My skin feels like it's crawling and I can't lie still, I HAVE to move and if I do start to doze off I get snapped back into reality with a massive kind of "Swooosh" and I feel like my heart is going to explode ... freaky stuff I'm really upset about this setback.

Currently I take Magnesium, D3, B12, Folic Acid, Vit E. Sometimes I drink Chamomile Tea. I don't think anything has really made any difference at all to my T but I keep plodding along with it. Reading over my post, to be honest I think T has sent me a bit batshit crazy (hopefully a temporary thing )

Such a long post, apologies for that...quite the rant! I look forward to hearing from you and hopefully being able to help some of you some day. xxx

 

[erik]

Welcome McGee, this is a great forum for support and info. You're right! Most of the T info on the net is bunk or scam products. Here at least you find good information from people who share your pain.

You are doing everything "normal" that most of us here have already done at 3 months in with T like you. You experience extreme anxiety and panic. You watch your diet, you worry. That is all perfectly normal. I did the same things and so have most of us here.

Looking back, I probably would not have changed a thing because it help me get to where I am today with accepting my T and living pretty much a normal life again. Although I wish I didn't go to see all the extra doctors and purchase $100's in useless supplements.

My journey with T and my conclusions:

• Fight the anxiety and panic. Do what you can to alleviate the stress of life and T. Do what you can to not worry about the little things in life. It is ok if T still bothers you. It is new to you. That will change. It will get better. If you need to go to a counselor do it. I went through 18 weeks of CBT counseling and I think it helped me in dealing with stress because it challenges you to change your distorted thinking about things.
• Don't worry so much about what you eat or drink. In the end, there is no real scientific proof that it makes any real difference. Worrying about something you eat or drink will most likely make your T increase and not the food itself. I used to worry about drinking coffee because of the caffeine. And guess what? My T increased every time I had coffee. Now, I drink a couple cups a day and my T doesn't change a bit. Same with food. Certain foods use to spike my T. Now no foods do. I did take over a year to get to this point.
• Time is your best ally. T does get better in time though it can be slow going. Just know it will happen because your body adapts, your brain adapts, you adapts. In the beginning T is new and important, as time goes on it become less important.
• Don't over protect. Wear ear plugs when you are in a loud environment but not when surrounded by normal sounds. Some movies are loud like action movies, some are not. I bring plugs every time just in case. How do you know if it is too loud? If it is so loud that you or someone else has to raise their voice to be heard, then it is probably too loud. Otherwise, don't over protect. It prolongs the anxiety and fear of noise.
• Setbacks will happen. You may experience set backs from time to time. Your T may change, you may have other stressors in your life that make it tough to deal with your T, your anxiety may come back, you may have a loud T day or more. This is normal. It happens do us all. Just keep moving forward and you will get back to where you were.
• Try to do meaningful things to fill your day if you need to: hang out with friends and family, help out a neighbor in need, volunteer at your local food bank etc. Or finally do those things on your list you have been putting off for ages. Nothing makes you feel good like doing good deeds for others.
• Stay Healthy. Eat well, exercise and take care of your self. Your body is your temple.
• Get back to normal as much as you can. Take small steps. Don't be a recluse. We are meant to be social beings. Slowly get back to your life as you can. I started with first going to a movie (I used ear plugs) but it proved I could do it. Then I did it again and again. It felt great. Next I worked in meeting up with friends to hang out a bit. Now I play sports several times a week, go out to eat when I want and where I want, go to movies when there is one I want to see does not prevent me from doing too much though I don't desire to go to any loud concerts or clubs but that's about it.

 

[Karen]

Hi, McGee, and welcome to Tinnitus Talk!

I can truly relate to your situation, since something similar happened to me back in 2010. Before then, I had mild tinnitus that didn't bother me at all. However, that all changed in May 2010 when, after taking blood pressure medicine for the first time, my tinnitus went through the roof! Then, a couple weeks later, my pulsatile tinnitus started, as well. I got myself off the blood pressure medicine, but the tinnitus remained. It was very bad for close to a year, then began to taper off gradually. Now, it's at a more manageable level. Thanks to Tinnitus Talk, I was able to keep my sanity, and am functioning normally (and healthfully) again!!

Erik's post (above) is excellent; you should print it out and frame it! His advice is right-on, and if you follow it, you'll begin to feel better. It may take time, but things will improve. Trust us!!

@erik,
Thanks so much for a great post! We need to save your comments in a place where all tinnitus newbies can see them. This sums it up perfectly!

 

[McGee]

Hi erik and Karen, Thanks for your replies

That's fantastic advice Erik and I will try to follow it as best I can. My biggest challenge at the moment is leaving the house. I'm a very solitary person, always have been and I don't have many friends or go really any places at all to be honest. I'm a complete homebody which was fine before the T but now all it does is give me time to focus on it.

Sorry to hear about your T Karen, wow both T and PT, that must be rough! It angers me so much that medication that is supposed to help us can do this. I would trade the depression I had any day for this horrible T, if I could just go back and not take the anti depressants. I have a a lot of trouble letting go of the past and am still very angry and regretful and I know this is most likely hindering my progress.

Lately I spend most of my day in bed trying so hard to get just one more hour of sleep. If I can get just one more hour, just one I tell myself, sleep is peace. But it never comes. I lie here with my heart pounding and just end up sobbing and I know it does me no good at all.

I will get there though. I have to for my boyfriend, my child and myself too