Hello, Here's My Story

[Mattw89]

hello guys. I am a 27 year old male, I have been suffering with tinnitus for about 2 years now and its recently taken a turn for the worse. I wouldn't say that I am suicidal, however I won't say I haven't thought about it, I feel that my thoughts may turn to intent if this level of tinnitus persists for years to come. Going through with it is something that I couldn't do, for one reason being a mental health nurse myself, the main reason my family and my girlfriend who I couldn't bare leave with the grief of me passing, especially via suicide. I haven't told my family of my tinnitus due to embarrassment, my girlfriend has an idea but does not know the suffering. I feel telling them would only upset them, there is no good to come from that.

I guess I am now finally seeking advice. I'm sure you can guess I have been to see Dr's and have been referred to ENT specialists with an appointment on 3rd March. I just don't know what to do about this noise any more. I had an operation in 2015 which reconstructed my left ear drum, however I get tinnitus in both ears (rarely at the same time). It started as an inner vibration feeling, now the right ear has decided it's going to start 'shouting' in a weird way. Anyway I hope everyone is well and I am more than happy to help and share advice, I'm not here just to take.

Kind regards

Matthew Ward

 

[Sam Bridge]

Hi Matt

Welcome to Tinnitus Talk. I am also 27 and have had T for a couple of years now. I'm doing okay these days but the noise still bothers me from time to time, more so when tired. What does yours sound like?

 

[Mattw89]

Hi Sam, thanks for the welcome. The best way I can describe it is my ear is vibrating, I can feel it slightly too. It differs as to how loud it is, sometimes it's barely noticeable, at other times it's unbearable. Is yours similar?

 

[Liana]

I'm impressed you've had it so long and haven't talked to people about it. I've been experiencing this since Jan 28th and pretty much everyone I know knows about it. Sometimes talking helps. Although they keep telling me it's going to get better...I'm no so sure though

 

[billie48]

Going through with it is something that I couldn't do, for one reason being a mental health nurse myself, the main reason my family and my girlfriend who I couldn't bare leave with the grief of me passing, especially via suicide.

Welcome to the forum. You are never alone here. We understand your struggle as most of us were where you are including the suicide ideations which are actually quite common. You read that even from success stories where posters describe their incredible suffering initially.

The initial struggle with T is always tough for anybody because the body is facing this new and alien sensation which can't be shaken off nor treated. When we feel stuck, trapped, and when there seems to be no available medical solution, then stress and anxiety build up to a point the limbic system takes over, and we function in fight or flight mode, making any irritation from T much worse and the brain zooms in on T all day. Also the brain may be flooded with many distorted thoughts called cognitive distortions in CBT, and very often the brain is fooled into believing that living with T for life is a total catastrophe. Hence the immense mental sufferings, many even have suicidal ideations.

Try do something active to help yourself, such as masking T, living & enjoying life again as much as possible. It will take some time but T is not an end game and good days will be back. I was in a mess initially with ultra high pitch dog whistle T. I also had severe H which caused all noises too loud and piercingly hurtful. Worst, I had relentless anxiety and panic attack from T & H due to prior condition of anxiety and panic disorder and PTSD. The sufferings were so bad that I thought I never would have good life again nor even to survive for long as suicide ideations just dangled in front of my exhausted and stressed out mind. But never say never. I am back to living a normal, productive, happy and absolutely enjoyable life. I wrote my success story and listed some important points helpful to my recovery. Here is my success story if you have time to read it. Don't give up. Better days will come. Just believe it. Take care and God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

[Sam Bridge]

Hi Matt

Mine is like a buzz/hiss. Its not really high pitch so i handle it okay in silence. Still annoying though.