Hello everyone,
I'm new to this forum but I like it a lot already so I thought I'd say hello to all of you and share my story here.
I used bullet points for ease of orientation & to mark when and where I think the trauma has occurred.
- I first noticed a slight ringing in my right ear after I went to a Judo class, where I did a handstand, my left arm gave in and I fell on the back of my c. spine. We did countless front rolls before that. I remember it must've not been so bad back then as I was still able to focus on working on my assignments and sleep no prob. This was towards the end of October.
I was used to working in complete silence to be able to focus, the same goes for sleeping.
- I started to notice my Tinnitus in the r. ear a lot more on the 4. Nov. 2017. It was right after a B-day party when one girl shouted something into my right ear. As you can imagine, there was a pretty loud music in the club too.
A small side note: I was a full-time postgrad student and employed full-t. at the same time, pulling in 40 – 50 hours a week to survive in London. Lost 7 kg within the first 2 to 3 months. It was tough – all work and no play for me. I returned back home mid Oct to save some money and finish my dissertation in peace (the irony) so that I can get a good grade. Meeting my friends in our favourite undergrad club after all this time, and celebrate my B-day there 'sounded' like a great idea.
Right the next week Mon I went to see our local ENT doc. He looked into my ears, found nothing, measured my hearing (audiometry) – that was fine, prescribed to me Betahistine 16 mg 2x a day and said he is looking forward to his retirement in Feb. 2018. That was it.
- The next I would say 2 weeks were still very tolerable – I was able to sleep and I had a date with a lovely girl (my classmate). There was of course no better place like going to the cinema to see an action movie. I did have some ringing back then in my r. ear but I bought some good quality ear plugs and thought it'll be ok (a bad mistake). Little did I know.
- I was told later that week by a neurologist to go straight to a rehab and specifically to see this one chiropractor who happened to be a M.D. as well. He was supposed to be the best. They both thought the ringing was caused by a cervical spine damage from Judo (particularly a pinched nerve and/or arteria vertebralis). I highly doubt that now. They used some device on me – it looked like some variation of a small jackhammer that produces shock waves. The therapy is called extracorporeal shockwave therapy (ESWT). I was told it'll relax my trapezius muscles and that it works. Anybody with a tinnitus please don't undergo this procedure! I could feel my inner ear and the whole head vibrate, not to mention the loudness. Again, the doc. said it'll help and that I have a good chance of recovery after that.
Last week beginning Tue 21. Nov. is when my nightmare truly started. Just the worst. At first it was a really bothersome ringing in my r. ear. that kept changing in frequency. Then it got a lot louder and high-pitched. In addition, I could feel a new sensation – a high-pitched frequency sound right in the centre of my head that got and gets sometimes louder then my r. ear ringing. I could not sleep at all. I only passed out usually at 5 a.m. or even 7 a.m. out of pure exhaustion (sitting on the side of my bed usually). Not to mention that I am now way behind with my dissertation and I had to take a break in my studies because I simply cannot focus anymore. It was driving me insane to the point I was considering doing something really stupid ☹
Then it got miraculously better for 2 days. One day I even felt like it went away completely – so strange. I went to sleep normally without any pills and enjoyed the peace.
The ringing is now back unfortunately stronger than ever. Yesterday night I noticed that in addition to my r. ear ringing and the oscillating sound in my head, my left 'healthy ear' started to make a humming noise as well. It feels I can almost hear 3 different sounds now. I fell prey to panic, it's very loud in my head, desperate, and my anxiety is going through the roof. Super scared over here and I can't sleep again.
I understand there is a 3 to 6 months window period when it may get better. I also understand my ears are damaged now. All I know is I could never habituate to all the noises as they are now. It's much too bad. It'd be my end.
I wrote an essay, I'm sorry for that. It did keep me a little distracted from all the noise for a while. If you made it all the way here – thank you. I appreciate the time you took.
A BIG QUESTION: Does anyone have any idea what that high-pitched tone in my head could be?? It does not sound like your "standard" tinnitus. It sounds more like a broken circuit signal right in the centre of my head that keeps disconnecting and reconnecting. It gets very loud, oscillating and it's a high-pitched whistle! I can feel it drown out the tinnitus ringing in the both of my ears. What the heck is that?? I feel like I have some brain nerve damage on top of this all (MRI of my head was ok tho).
It kind of sounds like this, from 0:00 – 0:04
Just higher in pitch.
Any statistics, facts or personal advice/experience that would help me at least get rid of all the anxiety now and gave hope for better tomorrows again, would be highly appreciated!
All the best wishes,
Jiri
P.S.:
Promise: If I survive this and my T. subsides or goes away by some miracle, I will not be the one who just disappears after 3 months mark. Every new positive bit of info I find, I'll share on this forum 100%.