Help, My Tinnitus Came Back and Got Worse!

[jadebug]

Hello everyone. I never thought things would come to this point again. I first developed my T when I was about 14 years old in 2011. I was never sure why I got T I was always extremely careful with my ears never really listening to music loud at all so I concluded after going to a bunch of doctors and having tests that it was a stress thing and I would just have to get over it. I was completely miserable for I want to say 6 months. I felt that my life was over and nothing good would ever happen. I contemplated suicide and prayed every day that my T would go away or that I would die. It truly was the absolute worst time of my life, but some how I got through it. I got to a point where I didn't think about my T at all for years it didn't bother me. I continued to sleep with a fan just because it was comfortable for me and I remember that I could hear a little ringing when I would go into a quiet room but I accepted it and it appeared that it was better. I thought I had conquered tinnnitus. But I was wrong.

Now 6 years after developing T it seems it has come back with vengeance. It all started after I saw a therapist about depression and anxiety issues I had been having completely unrelated to T. She prescribed me lexapro and I was so happy finally that I was getting help for my depression after years and years of feeling helpless but it seems that this was the worst thing I could have done. After 5 days of taking 5 mg I woke up with a feeling of fullness in my ears. I didn't think much of it I thought it was an allergy thing or that it would go away soon. It turns out that I was developing a cold during this time as well. I'm not sure when I realized it but one night I was thinking about my T and I heard the ringing above my fan which I had never been able to do and was really freaked out. Still I went to sleep and became depressed the next morning to still hear my ringing at a very high pitch. I contacted my therapist and she told me to go off of the lexapro immediately since I had only taken it for 11 days a full 10 mg tablet for only 3 days. I've been off of the medication for a full week and although the ringing has seemed to go down from the completely unbearable high pitch screaming it did the first day I came off of the lexapro it is still here and much louder than I ever remember it being when I first got it. I'm so scared now and so regretful that I ever started taking the medicine. I'm so depressed now even more than I was before and just wish I could go back to my old life and old problems that seem stupid now that I have my T back and worse than ever. I thought I got over my T and that that part of my life was over and now I feel so guilty for taking that time for granted. I feel like I'm going crazy I cry ever day and really just want to die. Suicide isn't an option for me though because I know my parents and boyfriend would be completely crushed. And I've been reading so many horror stories about how people developed T after taking lexapro for only a short time like me and it's permanent.

I could deal with my mild T and made peace with it! It never gave me trouble beyond the first year I dealt with it and I even went to concerts had a bit of ringing and it just all went away. Do you think it's also possible that my anxiety just picked up on my T again since when I looked up lexapro after a few days of taking it I stumbled upon the tinnitus connection? Do you think my T will lessen or that it had more to do with a cold than the medication or that it could be a combination? Should I even think about taking antidepressants ever again? I feel so lost all over again and this time it feels worse since the sound seems to be much louder and because I was already dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts before this experience.

 

[glynis]

Any AD meds can cause tinnitus at the beginning till it plateaus out when your brain adjusts to the meds and again coming off them and backfiring signals take ages to settle down causing spikes that can be sever.
Don't let the unwanted emotions take hold as your mood will drop.
Talking therapy is good for depression and getting out doors a few times a day.
Depression impacts on your confidence,social skills and self worth but as we are not born with them we can build them up again slowly at your own pace.
Try to stay calm and relax to music you like and if need music like power ballads to lift you up that's fine also kept to a safe level for your ears.
We can support you around the clock so keep posting and don't suffer alone.
Love glynis

 

[jadebug]

@glynis
Thank you so much for your reply! It really means a lot to me! So you think there is a good chance this spike in my T will go away given some time and providing I try and remain calm? I just thought that after a week it should have been gone already but it also seems like my anxiety could have latched on to it again. It's just been so hard for me to come to terms with this again since I'm so young (only 20). It feels like I've been cheated out of a good life because of T! It's especially upsetting because I've always been extremely protective over my ears so I know my T isn't noise induced. This all just feels so unfair and it feels like I'll never be able to pull myself out of this.

 

[glynis]

@debug,
Time is a great healer and misfiring signals need to settle and then your tinnitus.
Try stay calm as it will help.
Off to bed now but I'm around every day.
Love glynis x

 

[Kaelon]

@glynis
Thank you so much for your reply! It really means a lot to me! So you think there is a good chance this spike in my T will go away given some time and providing I try and remain calm? I just thought that after a week it should have been gone already but it also seems like my anxiety could have latched on to it again. It's just been so hard for me to come to terms with this again since I'm so young (only 20). It feels like I've been cheated out of a good life because of T! It's especially upsetting because I've always been extremely protective over my ears so I know my T isn't noise induced. This all just feels so unfair and it feels like I'll never be able to pull myself out of this.

The good news is, yes. Spikes in Tinnitus are almost always temporary; and even when they are not, because you have previously habituated to Tinnitus, your neural elasticity will help you acclimate much more quickly. You will definitely be able to pull yourself out of this.

Try and focus on sleep, mindfulness, talk to your doctor about canging your medication and get to a solid base-line. I have confidence you will find peace within a couple of weeks.

 

[jadebug]

@Kaelon thank you very much for the reply! It has given me some hope that this situation will improve no matter what, although I really do hope my T goes back to the way it was. Do you think I should stay away from other antidepressants since I've read that they can be ototoxic? I want to try another medication if it will help me with my depression but I really don't want to risk making my T even worse or doing any further damage to my ears. Have you had any experience with this or can give me any advice?

 

[Kaelon]

@Kaelon thank you very much for the reply! It has given me some hope that this situation will improve no matter what, although I really do hope my T goes back to the way it was. Do you think I should stay away from other antidepressants since I've read that they can be ototoxic? I want to try another medication if it will help me with my depression but I really don't want to risk making my T even worse or doing any further damage to my ears. Have you had any experience with this or can give me any advice?

Real ototoxicity is exceedingly rare; it only strikes 1 in 15,000,000 people. In other words, you'd have a better chance of winning the lottery than actually accidentally being exposed to an ototoxic drug.

That said, there is enough anecdotal data that suggests that some anti-anxiety medications (specifically, benzodiazepines) can exacerbate an already-compromised auditory system and bring on Tinnitus to people predisposed to perceiving it. For that reason, I would avoid benzos.

To get sleep right now, try and get some calming agents. Consider using Melatonin; it's non-habit forming and a natural hormone already in your system. Also, pamper yourself to a nice hot bath and hot shower, and then just relax and try and get a solid 8+ hours of sleep.

 

[butterfly75]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm in the same situation. It can be very hard to cope with, but you're not alone and there are so many other people going through the same thing and it will get better. For now, try to distract yourself from the noise. Use a white noise machine (the kind you can choose different sounds from: rain, wind, waves etc.) and play it in the background. Even if you can hear your tinnitus above it, hearing another sound in the environment will help you be more relaxed. Try to surround yourself with family and friends, and engage in activities that you genuinely enjoy. Anything that will bring your focus away from the tinnitus is helpful.

Some people are more sensitive to medications, but many times when tinnitus gets louder it will eventually fade down or go back to how it was before. I've heard of people getting tinnitus from medication, and the tinnitus fading away after years sometimes. Even if it doesn't, it will eventually be easier to cope with. It will get better. You probably already know this, but just remember to protect your ears when you go outside. Bring earplugs with you wherever you go and your ears will be safe.

It's been really hard for me to cope with getting tinnitus too, and it getting louder, but it helps to try to distract yourself from it. You must be feeling so terrified that the tinnitus got louder, and it seems like you can't go on like this, but it can get better. It can go down, and even if it doesn't, it will be easier to cope with eventually. The first time you noticed it and realized you had tinnitus, you were terrified and you felt like you couldn't go on, but you did, so you can get through this too. Even though it's so hard right now, it will get better! It's hard to imagine now, but things will be so much easier one day.

 

[jadebug]

@butterfly75
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through something similar and I really hope yours fades with time as well! Thank you very much for this helpful reply! I guess I'm just extremely worried about not habituating to the level I was at previously if this doesn't resolve itself with time. After about a year of struggle tinnitus was just a word to me I would go weeks or months without even thinking about it and I never thought that it could get worse. I feel so stupid now and wish I could go back to those times. Do you think I could habituate in the same way and to the same degree to this new level? I've noticed a high pitch ringing sound that seems louder and harder to mask so it appears to overlay on top of normal everyday sounds and if I search for it I can most always hear it except in the shower or in the car. It is true that anxiety makes T worse or is it just that anxiety makes us hear it more? Sorry for all the questions I'm just really worried and thought it would be helpful to talk to someone going through the same thing!

 

[butterfly75]

@butterfly75
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through something similar and I really hope yours fades with time as well! Thank you very much for this helpful reply! I guess I'm just extremely worried about not habituating to the level I was at previously if this doesn't resolve itself with time. After about a year of struggle tinnitus was just a word to me I would go weeks or months without even thinking about it and I never thought that it could get worse. I feel so stupid now and wish I could go back to those times. Do you think I could habituate in the same way and to the same degree to this new level? I've noticed a high pitch ringing sound that seems louder and harder to mask so it appears to overlay on top of normal everyday sounds and if I search for it I can most always hear it except in the shower or in the car. It is true that anxiety makes T worse or is it just that anxiety makes us hear it more? Sorry for all the questions I'm just really worried and thought it would be helpful to talk to someone going through the same thing!

I've felt the same way. About wanting to go back to how it was before. Most of us probably really wish this never happened at all but sadly we can't control life. We just have to try to cope with it. Even though this is really terrible to deal with, just try to embrace everything uplifting in your life and focus on that. Remember everything that gave you happiness before. I've heard of people with loud tinnitus who were able to habituate to it, even the kind they could hear in the shower. I've met a few people who had tinnitus that was loud enough to hear during the shower, and they said if they didn't listen for it, they weren't even aware of the sound. It didn't even bother them. If they can habituate to that, that gives me hope. Eventually it will become a background noise. I think anxiety may make it more noticeable. Trying to remain relaxed will help. I had to take a break from school when I first got tinnitus. Try to fill your time with activities you genuinely enjoy and that have always brought you happiness, and spend your time doing those. And surround yourself with loving, supporting family members. When your mind is focused on something else, it won't seem as bothersome, and you'll be more relaxed. When I first realized I had tinnitus, I was terrified and I found out it was much more common that I'd thought. When you're outside, and you glance around at the people around you, some of those people have tinnitus too, and are hearing the ringing too, but many of those people were able to habituate to it, and it doesn't bother them anymore and they're able to live happy, normal lives. I still haven't really been able to cope with it, but hearing stories of others who have tinnitus and are living normal lives is hopeful. You're experiencing a lot of panic and fear right now because it recently got louder but eventually it will get better. Even if it doesn't go down, all of the distressing emotions will fade away and you will be able to habituate to it just as you did before. It will be a lot easier to cope with. And don't worry about asking too many questions at all!

 

[jadebug]

@butterfly75
Thank you again for this wonderful reply! I had a few good days where I really thought that I could get through this difficult time and habituate once again, but now I'm having a really rough time. It just seems like I can't come to terms with this and accept that I have tinnitus again. It was so hard on me the first time and I can't believe I got through it. I feel like I don't have the strength this time. You said you had to stop going to school when you first got tinnitus do you mind me asking how old you were when you got it first? It's just been so depressing for me to see people my age seem so happy doing summer things when im struggling with my T so badly to the point where I think I would be better off dead. I'm terrified I won't get used to this sound and nothing seems to mask it anymore except the shower and going out to restaurants and stores. Are you able to mask your T? How have you been doing?

 

[butterfly75]

@butterfly75
Thank you again for this wonderful reply! I had a few good days where I really thought that I could get through this difficult time and habituate once again, but now I'm having a really rough time. It just seems like I can't come to terms with this and accept that I have tinnitus again. It was so hard on me the first time and I can't believe I got through it. I feel like I don't have the strength this time. You said you had to stop going to school when you first got tinnitus do you mind me asking how old you were when you got it first? It's just been so depressing for me to see people my age seem so happy doing summer things when im struggling with my T so badly to the point where I think I would be better off dead. I'm terrified I won't get used to this sound and nothing seems to mask it anymore except the shower and going out to restaurants and stores. Are you able to mask your T? How have you been doing?

I feel the exact same way. I first got T when I was 15, I believe. I'm 17 now, and it's gotten louder. I had to take a break from school, and now that my senior year is coming to an end and I will be turning eighteen soon, I've decided I probably won't be able to go to college either like my friends and family and most people my age. I agree with what you say about seeing other younger people outside, and living normal, joyful lives and feeling so discouraged. It just doesn't feel fair to me sometimes. It doesn't seem fair that bad things would happen to anyone of course, but none of this feels fair. I try to console myself by telling myself there is an afterlife, no matter what God/deity you believe and what faith you follow, and it will be much better in the next life than in this one in this world hopefully. Thinking of a possible afterlife is what gives me hope.

I started taking Zoloft when I first got T because I was having unbearable panic attacks. I've also taken Lexapro, and Prozac, in the past, before I had T, but both of those were for a short while because I had a bad reaction to Lexapro (heart palpitations, dizziness.) I don't really think I will try antidepressants again, because I don't think they are for me. They are probably very helpful for some people I am sure. Even though the panic attacks because of T are unbearable, they usually don't help so it won't be useful I believe. They don't quell the panic attacks, and they usually make me feel worse, and emotionally empty and apathetic.

I've also felt like I would be better off dead than having T. It has felt like my life is ruined. And I've looked at people around me, and people my age, and it's sad to think I will never be able to be happy and normal like them. And I'm too much of a burden on the people around me because of this. I've thought about suicide a lot. Sometimes I've felt like it would be the better option. I really can't handle all of this anxiety and dread. But you should try to remain hopeful. It can go down for you and it may eventually even fade away. Many people with tinnitus have experienced it completely going away. But you don't read about it online because they usually don't post about it, so try not to be discouraged by all of the frightening stories. It can get better for you.

I can mask my T sometimes for now thankfully. I would really recommend purchasing a white noise machine, or an ambient noise machine. Even if it doesn't mask it completely and you can still hear the tinnitus over it, it can still be very helpful. Even if only the shower masks it so far, that's still great. Anything that you can find that helps is great. And I'm still not doing very well right now, but just trying to get through this week, of course.

 

[jadebug]

I feel the exact same way. I first got T when I was 15, I believe. I'm 17 now, and it's gotten louder. I had to take a break from school, and now that my senior year is coming to an end and I will be turning eighteen soon, I've decided I probably won't be able to go to college either like my friends and family and most people my age. I agree with what you say about seeing other younger people outside, and living normal, joyful lives and feeling so discouraged. It just doesn't feel fair to me sometimes. It doesn't seem fair that bad things would happen to anyone of course, but none of this feels fair. I try to console myself by telling myself there is an afterlife, no matter what God/deity you believe and what faith you follow, and it will be much better in the next life than in this one in this world hopefully. Thinking of a possible afterlife is what gives me hope.

I started taking Zoloft when I first got T because I was having unbearable panic attacks. I've also taken Lexapro, and Prozac, in the past, before I had T, but both of those were for a short while because I had a bad reaction to Lexapro (heart palpitations, dizziness.) I don't really think I will try antidepressants again, because I don't think they are for me. They are probably very helpful for some people I am sure. Even though the panic attacks because of T are unbearable, they usually don't help so it won't be useful I believe. They don't quell the panic attacks, and they usually make me feel worse, and emotionally empty and apathetic.

I've also felt like I would be better off dead than having T. It has felt like my life is ruined. And I've looked at people around me, and people my age, and it's sad to think I will never be able to be happy and normal like them. And I'm too much of a burden on the people around me because of this. I've thought about suicide a lot. Sometimes I've felt like it would be the better option. I really can't handle all of this anxiety and dread. But you should try to remain hopeful. It can go down for you and it may eventually even fade away. Many people with tinnitus have experienced it completely going away. But you don't read about it online because they usually don't post about it, so try not to be discouraged by all of the frightening stories. It can get better for you.

I can mask my T sometimes for now thankfully. I would really recommend purchasing a white noise machine, or an ambient noise machine. Even if it doesn't mask it completely and you can still hear the tinnitus over it, it can still be very helpful. Even if only the shower masks it so far, that's still great. Anything that you can find that helps is great. And I'm still not doing very well right now, but just trying to get through this week, of course.

Wow I completely agree with everything you said. I was starting to feel even more discouraged because it seems like tinnitus affects people most when they get older and not when they're barely adults. But something that gives me hope is that because we are young our bodies are more resilient and likely to heal. If our brains aren't even finished developing then maybe that means our tinnitus will lessen and go away.
The idea of an after life is something that has been helping me too. Although I do try and keep in mind that I should be trying my best to appreciate this life and the things that I have and that eventually my T won't bother me anymore. There may even be treatments or a cure one day.
I'm sorry to hear that college is something you feel like you can't experience because of T. It really is so awful what T does to us and makes us feel like we can't have a good life. I think you should have hope too that your T will subside in time or that you will completely habituate. Actually something that helped me the first time I struggled with T was going to school. I was only starting my first year at high school and I was in a really tough program but I decided to stick it out and all the work I had to do helped me take my mind off of the T and I think that helped me habituate faster the first time. Maybe taking some college classes could help you try and put the T out of your mind as well? You shouldn't have to give up a life because of T although I know how hard it is to have this awful condition. I just finished my second year in college and I'm terrified that the T is going to affect my studying and concentration when I go back in the fall because it seems so much louder and annoying now but I'm hoping that it will subside by then or I'll just get used to it. I'm just not sure I can get used to this new high pitch sound that seems to just sit on top of every other sound like a static electrical noise. I'm worried it's going to drive me crazy.
I'm not sure antidepressants are for me either especially since this mess started for me after I started taking lexapro. I thought it would have gone away by now since it's been three weeks since I've stopped the medication. My doctor said that lexapro couldn't cause any permanent problems but I'm still so worried that this new T is here to stay. She prescribed me buspar an anti anxiety med but I haven't taken it because I'm scared that that will affect my T too since ringing in the ears is a side effect. Have you had any experience with buspar? My anxiety just seems to be so bad right now and maybe this med would help.
And although you feel like you are a burden to the ones you love I can promise you they'd be more hurt if you weren't around. You can get through this! Most people seem to get over their tinnitus and I guess we're just still in the anxious/depressed stage! But there's no reason things can't get better! I'm here for you if you ever want to talk. It's been helpful for me to talk to you and know that I'm not the only young person with this issue. I wish you all the best and can't wait to see you write a success story one day! Keeping getting through each day one at a time and soon I bet you'll be having more and more good days!

 

[butterfly75]

Wow I completely agree with everything you said. I was starting to feel even more discouraged because it seems like tinnitus affects people most when they get older and not when they're barely adults. But something that gives me hope is that because we are young our bodies are more resilient and likely to heal. If our brains aren't even finished developing then maybe that means our tinnitus will lessen and go away.
The idea of an after life is something that has been helping me too. Although I do try and keep in mind that I should be trying my best to appreciate this life and the things that I have and that eventually my T won't bother me anymore. There may even be treatments or a cure one day.
I'm sorry to hear that college is something you feel like you can't experience because of T. It really is so awful what T does to us and makes us feel like we can't have a good life. I think you should have hope too that your T will subside in time or that you will completely habituate. Actually something that helped me the first time I struggled with T was going to school. I was only starting my first year at high school and I was in a really tough program but I decided to stick it out and all the work I had to do helped me take my mind off of the T and I think that helped me habituate faster the first time. Maybe taking some college classes could help you try and put the T out of your mind as well? You shouldn't have to give up a life because of T although I know how hard it is to have this awful condition. I just finished my second year in college and I'm terrified that the T is going to affect my studying and concentration when I go back in the fall because it seems so much louder and annoying now but I'm hoping that it will subside by then or I'll just get used to it. I'm just not sure I can get used to this new high pitch sound that seems to just sit on top of every other sound like a static electrical noise. I'm worried it's going to drive me crazy.
I'm not sure antidepressants are for me either especially since this mess started for me after I started taking lexapro. I thought it would have gone away by now since it's been three weeks since I've stopped the medication. My doctor said that lexapro couldn't cause any permanent problems but I'm still so worried that this new T is here to stay. She prescribed me buspar an anti anxiety med but I haven't taken it because I'm scared that that will affect my T too since ringing in the ears is a side effect. Have you had any experience with buspar? My anxiety just seems to be so bad right now and maybe this med would help.
And although you feel like you are a burden to the ones you love I can promise you they'd be more hurt if you weren't around. You can get through this! Most people seem to get over their tinnitus and I guess we're just still in the anxious/depressed stage! But there's no reason things can't get better! I'm here for you if you ever want to talk. It's been helpful for me to talk to you and know that I'm not the only young person with this issue. I wish you all the best and can't wait to see you write a success story one day! Keeping getting through each day one at a time and soon I bet you'll be having more and more good days!

Ty! My inbox is always open! I do hope things will get better for all of us. Hopefully there will be a cure or a treatment sometime in the future.

I've heard from people who have a tone that's louder/more high-pitched compared to all the other tones, so they hear it above all the other sound, that sometimes there's a certain ambient noise that masks that tone. Even though they could hear their T above everything, there's one ambient noise that helps tune it out all of the time, at any volume, like crickets. Try to search for a variety of ambient noises (find a machine or download an app) that makes your T most tolerable, and is the most relaxing for you. I've also felt the sensation that I'm going to go insane from my T. I think we all have. But you won't really go insane. Although it really does feel like you're going crazy sometimes

I've never tried Buspar, but I've tried a lot of anxiety medications for my panic attacks. I've heard Buspar isn't a very strong medication, but I could be completely wrong. It may really help you. But I've heard it isn't very effective so it may not be helpful if you're experiencing really bad anxiety. It may be best to avoid SSRI's since you aren't sure if taking Lexapro or having a cold may have affected your tinnitus. There are many other antidepressants that are helpful for anxiety, so maybe give some of those a try, but be careful of course since you had a bad reaction to Lexapro. I would be anxious about taking the Buspar, too, even though it isn't an SSRI. But it may be worth giving it a try.

 

[Natalier]

Hey, Judebug. I completely understand you will that high anxiety keeping you from life. As a suffer of anxiety and depression myself, i have posted some of my techniques that help me, and im sure would help you, even a little bit.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...om-anxiety-tinnitus-associated-anxiety.22257/