I have been having tinnitus counselling with an audiologist. I also completed Hashir Aazh's iCBT program online. Nothing my audiologist says resonates with me or my truth and I always feel like I am being patronised. I felt nothing but anger as I proceeded through Aazh's modules in the iCBT course, but I persisted because I want to get better. At the end though I feel the process of tinnitus counselling and iCBT has been passively abusive.
The general dogma seems to be that it isn't the tinnitus that is bad, just my perception of it and my "distorted thoughts". (The "distorted thoughts" narrative comes up a lot.) It is apparently only severe and intrusive because of my reaction to it. I am being told that I am responsible for the severity of my tinnitus. The iCBT course tells you that instead of thinking that your tinnitus is getting louder and worse (which mine has gradually over the months) you have to change your thinking and instead say to yourself "tinnitus is louder because I am stressed, and quieter when I am calm". This however is not a true statement. He is basically trying to tell me that my lived experience is not real. This is called gaslighting, and gaslighting, in any context, is abusive.
Constantly being bombarded with these kind of messages by people who are suppose to be helping feels like being in an abusive relationship. The audiologist advised to 'get help' for not being able to cope with the horrendous multi-tonal, loud, and relentless noise. Ironically 'getting help' is exactly why I was seeing her!
Why is it assumed you have mental illness because your medical condition is debilitating? What other medical condition is there that sufferer is is told it is all in their head and if they just change the way they think, things will improve. How is this the dogma in 2021?
The general dogma seems to be that it isn't the tinnitus that is bad, just my perception of it and my "distorted thoughts". (The "distorted thoughts" narrative comes up a lot.) It is apparently only severe and intrusive because of my reaction to it. I am being told that I am responsible for the severity of my tinnitus. The iCBT course tells you that instead of thinking that your tinnitus is getting louder and worse (which mine has gradually over the months) you have to change your thinking and instead say to yourself "tinnitus is louder because I am stressed, and quieter when I am calm". This however is not a true statement. He is basically trying to tell me that my lived experience is not real. This is called gaslighting, and gaslighting, in any context, is abusive.
Constantly being bombarded with these kind of messages by people who are suppose to be helping feels like being in an abusive relationship. The audiologist advised to 'get help' for not being able to cope with the horrendous multi-tonal, loud, and relentless noise. Ironically 'getting help' is exactly why I was seeing her!
Why is it assumed you have mental illness because your medical condition is debilitating? What other medical condition is there that sufferer is is told it is all in their head and if they just change the way they think, things will improve. How is this the dogma in 2021?