Hey. New Here. Looking for Some Support. (GOING CRAZY)

[Amber1985]

Hey, I'm Amber.

I'm 31 year old lady who has suffered with ear problems my whole life.
I've had a couple major surgeries on my right ear and and 80 percent deaf in that ear, mastoidectomy etc etc. Tubes in my ears 5 times as a youth.

Anyway, about 10 days ago I felt a little off in my "good ear" the left one ., and then poof.. all I hear this loud "eeeeeeeee". And it hasn't went away since. And I mean LOUD.
I've cried about 10 times a day since and I feel like I'm truly going insane.

I went to my ENT the following day and he has done three sets of Cortisone shots, and I'm going for my forth and last on Wednesday. He said he thinks it is a viral infection that got into my nerve.
My hearing is almost Nothing now.
(So much for my good ear. ).

I'm devastated. And to think i may never hear silence again makes me want to crawl in a hole and die.

I go for an MRI in a few weeks.

And he said if it doesn't go away hearing aids can really help.

I'm scared to death.
So so scared. It's all I think about.
I'm in such a bad place right now
Thought I'd come for some support. Xo

 

[Wojtek Kalka]

I am sorry to hear this amber, in most times the sound will fade or definitely get better.

There is nearly no reason to be afraid of something that does not have happened yet, it can just stress you and make things words, think that you situation is temporary and it will improve, just the pure thought about improvement
will improve it.

I have three ear operation, tinnitus for 23 years .. just after the recent spike I took cortisone and it spiked up mine to from 6-7 to 9 or 10/10, was pretty hard for some hours but it also goes down, always.

The most important thing in my humble is stay positive no matter what, it is like the human body wants to heal itself if you are positive about it. Hearing aids will help you hear but they imho do not reduce the tinnitus.

Try to be active go out with people, hang out with people you love and do things you love. Just crying about it is ok once or twice it softens your feelings but never ever keep this depressive feeling alive as hard as it sounds.

Cortisone has to be taken over a week or two, I took a 19 day plan, would I recommend it? I can't really answer it but it surely did not make it worse over time.

Force yourself to be active .. your are 31 which is very young, and the tinnitus is very new so there is VERY high chance it will go away or at least go down a lot.

And whatever comes you will be fine, if you decide to be fine, the only lesson that I learned from the best Tinnitus doctor, the tinnitus actually does nothing to you. It just a noise, but that is very hard in the beginning to see.

The human body and mind is something like a miracle, but you have to take care of it in a proper way.

There is an urban legend of people who froze to death just because they thought freezing to death, and it was
never under 80degree, not sure how true this story is but it shows you the power in both sides of believing.

Believe 100% you will heal, maybe completely maybe just some but you will that is 100% sure.

Hugs from Bangkok, a smile so much more worth that people think, even in dark times where you
see no light. The smile will create a light for you.

Just woke up, said hello to the invisible man inside my ear, took a whey milkshake and now I go wakeboarding .. with ear protection and loud 7/10 noise ...

Sincerely
Wojtek

 

[Bill Bauer]

I went to my ENT the following day and he has done three sets of Cortisone shots,

Very few people are able to get Cortisone shots within 48 hours of onset of tinnitus. The fact that you are one of those people is already an advantage.

You are also young, so your body is more likely to heal itself, compared to someone who is older.

Tinnitus always takes a long time to resolve. You are only one week in, there is still hope.

 

[Mettafort]

Hey Amber,

Sorry to hear of your struggles, and I believe your experience is very real for you.

I think one of the first stepping stones to relief is to anchor yourself in the present. When you worry about never having silence again, that catastrophizing mental distortion will drop your state like an anvil. Its NOT POSSIBLE to know for sure if that statement of belief is true or not. You can feel better by taking tiny steps with yourself, refusing to worry aimlessly.

I realize you have a very LOUD sound, one so loud it has reduced you to tears. The fact you share your vulnerability openly shows me you have a real strength inside of you that is what will empower you to transcend this. You have been through a lot too, challenges for,sure, but vessels of gifts too. The law of life is that everything is changing, and so too will your state.

Right now my T is at 8 and my H has been at 10 for the past hour. Yet I am honestly having a great day; best day since my "event" and my numbers are the highest they have been. I go back to work tomorrow, and I had anxiety mid morning today, but as soon as I realize my unconscious mind wavering down a rabbit hole, I refuse that path. As hard as it is perhaps to hear it, we choose our thoughts, and the nature of those thoughts determine how good/bad we feel. If you can get to feeling better, you improve your chances of recovery too.

Have you tried dual-nostril breathing as a way to center yourself? Sit in a chair with a straight back, take threee, slow diaphragmatic breaths, and then close your left nostril with your hand, amd breath for 4 in your right nostril. Hold for 4, then close the right nostril and breath out through the left nostril for 8. Alternate the sides. This can make tou light headed if you havent done it before, but its a great way to bring your stress response down to a manageable level.

Metta,

Mf

 

[Amber1985]

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Today my T is almost unbearable.
I've been trying to tune it out but it is near impossible. With that being said, I'm trying to smile and not burden people with a sad accompany.
I have a 7 year old to be strong for, a long with a long life ahead of me.
I have had a hearing test, and my "good ear" has very little hearing left. The ENT said that is why I'm hearing the "eeeeeee". Due to the sudden hearing loss. I'm praying it comes back.
I'm also reading up on all the links that I have received, and will speak with my ENT about it on Wednesday.
I've been reading endlessly and so thankful I have found you all.
Sincerely, Amber.

 

[Lorac]

Hello @Amber1985 and welcome.
I am so sorry that you have these things to deal with at such a young age. I hope the cortisone shots will help you.
It is very normal to feel scared and overwhelmed when tinnitus is new because your "fight or flight" response gets turned on. It's a normal, physical response in your limbic system that is likely to subside even if tinnitus stays.
I think it is wonderful that you are searching for strength because of your 7 year old child. That is absolutely where you will find your strength.

 

[DarrenM21]

Keep your chin up, Amber. Find your strength within your kid and you can overcome anything.
Your T might be unbearable today but that doesn't mean it'll be unbearable tomorrow.
I was drinking alcohol last night and my T spiked through the roof. It went down to its original sound after some sleep.
Always remember when it comes to T you are not alone.
If you haven't already, I'd suggest watching Julian Cowan Hill on YouTube. I always watch him when I have bad days with T.

 

[Amber1985]

Thanks for the replies everyone.
Today has been my best day yet emotionally. I haven't cried all day. Lol
I went to the ENT and had my last injection. Unfortunately the T is still very bad out of the ear with SSHL.
I go back on the 17th for another hearing test... then away I go to get another set of hearing aids. Since I have little to no hearing in my right ear either I'm having an extremely hard time functioning in everyday life. (I used to wear them when I was young).
My MRI isn't scheduled until June the 8th.
Here's to hoping I keep having small improvements in my emotion state if not the physical state.
One day at a time ..

 

[DarrenM21]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm relatively new to tinnitus as well and I'm still waiting on an ENT. I've been waiting for like two months now. My advice to you would be try not to self diagnose yourself on the internet and stay far away from the horror stories.
We are young. The chances of it going away are better for us, I believe.

 

[Amber1985]

To let you all know. I'm about 3 weeks into this terrible journey.
Over the last two days, some crazy changes. Although I still hear the noise it's a much better sound (I had almost 3 straight weeks of a high high pitch eeeee).
I feel like I've had some improvements on my hearing and the noise.
It's the first bit of hope I've received. And I keep praying for improvements daily.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Thank you for the update.

I think the fact that your T is improving (and not relentlessly staying at the same volume level) is a very good sign. Chances are you will keep getting better. Unfortunately, it might still take months for you to recover. Let's hope for the best...

 

[Helen Louise]

Hey,

@Amber1985 I can relate so much to how you are feeling, when I caught on Tinnitus around 6 years ago. I'm now (nearly) 30 and it's been so long now that it's just become a part of me, sadly

It's horrible isn't it, that scary feeling that it's not going away. Tbh, I don't blame you for panicking and feeling so low - I felt the same, and it's only natural during the first stages. The worst thing is you feel like no-one can truly understand what's happening.

You've done the right thing in seeking help right away. How is it now for you since your first post?

The more I've started to research I kind of feel like our chances of hearing silence again are getting stronger because the awareness of tinnitus is starting to raise more and more, and having this now at our age probably works in our favour as treatments are becoming more and more advanced so hopefully one day (and I hope soon) this annoying condition will be no more and we'll have the beautiful sound of silence again!

Try watching my video - even after all this time, I still have it, but I've learnt to cope in my own way and the key thing is to stay positive!

Helen x