Hey there, my name is Sara, i am a 19 year italian girl and i've been suffering from tinnitus for nearly 4 years, since i was 16. I don't know the cause, or better, the doctors weren't able to discover it.
The first times, I went through very bad times. I suffered from depression and anxiety, very badly. I even had suicide thoughs, but i never done it, i was too afraid of taking my own life. (And now i'm glad i didn't do it!) My parents tried everything to help me, but as we know, there isn't a cure for tinnitus.. so i did a psychotherapy, and i can say that it literally saved my life. I helped my self with antidepressant (obviously prescribed), and, gradually, i came out from this dark and terrible period. This year i began university, i live in a house with other girls and i'm fine. I mean, i enjoy my life with them, i love what i study (psychology) and when i'm not at home with my parents i don't have the time to think about my tinnitus, so i'm fine!
Seeing that i was ok living outside my house, i wanted to ''give a shock'' to my life, so i decided to apply for a scholarship for Erasmus. Guess what? They took me! I won a scholarship for the next year, i am going to France for 5 month. I'm so excited, i WANT TO DO THIS, i want to be able to do this, do show to my own self that i'm strong, tinnitus cannot destroy my life again, i won't let it do it.
But, obviously, things can't always be good... i remember the first travel that i did with tinnitus. I was in Ireland with a friend of mine for two weeks, and during the first days, i had my first panic attacks (the beggining of everything... depression, anxiety.) I resisted there beacause i didn't want to let her alone in Ireland, but i felt so sick, my panic attacks were very bad and i missed my parents, i was only 17 years old...
Now the situation is completely changed, but, you know, i have to go away from home for 5 month, and i'm very scared. I'm scared beacause here, my parents know how i feel about my ringing, and during my bad days they always stay by mi side. In France, I will be alone. Or, better, without any old friend or relative who knows me properly. What if my tinnitus get worse? What if i'll get depressed again? I can't come back... it would be a failure too big... i want to do this and i want to enjoy it, i deserve it after all the pain i've been through. Have you got any advice for me?
Thank you very much for reading and answering if you do
I hug you. Sara
The first times, I went through very bad times. I suffered from depression and anxiety, very badly. I even had suicide thoughs, but i never done it, i was too afraid of taking my own life. (And now i'm glad i didn't do it!) My parents tried everything to help me, but as we know, there isn't a cure for tinnitus.. so i did a psychotherapy, and i can say that it literally saved my life. I helped my self with antidepressant (obviously prescribed), and, gradually, i came out from this dark and terrible period. This year i began university, i live in a house with other girls and i'm fine. I mean, i enjoy my life with them, i love what i study (psychology) and when i'm not at home with my parents i don't have the time to think about my tinnitus, so i'm fine!
Seeing that i was ok living outside my house, i wanted to ''give a shock'' to my life, so i decided to apply for a scholarship for Erasmus. Guess what? They took me! I won a scholarship for the next year, i am going to France for 5 month. I'm so excited, i WANT TO DO THIS, i want to be able to do this, do show to my own self that i'm strong, tinnitus cannot destroy my life again, i won't let it do it.
But, obviously, things can't always be good... i remember the first travel that i did with tinnitus. I was in Ireland with a friend of mine for two weeks, and during the first days, i had my first panic attacks (the beggining of everything... depression, anxiety.) I resisted there beacause i didn't want to let her alone in Ireland, but i felt so sick, my panic attacks were very bad and i missed my parents, i was only 17 years old...
Now the situation is completely changed, but, you know, i have to go away from home for 5 month, and i'm very scared. I'm scared beacause here, my parents know how i feel about my ringing, and during my bad days they always stay by mi side. In France, I will be alone. Or, better, without any old friend or relative who knows me properly. What if my tinnitus get worse? What if i'll get depressed again? I can't come back... it would be a failure too big... i want to do this and i want to enjoy it, i deserve it after all the pain i've been through. Have you got any advice for me?
Thank you very much for reading and answering if you do
I hug you. Sara