Hi,
I've been browsing this forum for the past week, reading many threads and I've went from hopeful to out of hope by reading some of your stories. I've decided I want to be a part of this community now that my T has completely taken over my life.
So my tinnitus started when I was 19 years old (2013). We had exams in school and loud music was being played all day and all night until I went home. Woke up the next day without T but the day after that I got a bad cold and the ringing started in my left ear. I've had this ringing in my left ear since then. Sort of habituated after two years or so but was still afraid of reading and had trouble concentrating. However the tinnitus did not affect my mood that often, just felt a bit sad that I was thinking about the T so many times per day. Took maybe two years before I could sleep without having the television on with sound. In the beginning the tinnitus was way worse when waking up from sleep, but that seems to have faded over the years. During all of this I've had more or less depressions. This autumn the depression has gotten worse and even anxiety has followed. Have been able to sleep but I got reminded of the T way to often when trying to listen to audiobooks etc which was very heartbreaking. Also I was put on antibiotics for 10 days, for what seemed like a borrelia mark on my leg, don't know if that could have impacted my T.
Last weekend, I was at a loud venue. Was bringing ear plugs but I made the mistake of not plugging in the sound lowering plastic part of the ear plug. I realised the mistake when the night was almost over, that my ears hadn't been protected as I thought they were being. The music wasn't hurting though, but when we got out of the venue I noticed my hearing was slightly lowered. We went home, I had several ringing sounds in my ears the following morning although I didn't panic. Depressed as I am, I drank alcohol with my friend the next day, postponing the anxiety for the sunday. I think I did some self injury as I thought, "if my tinnitus gets bad now, I will kill myself". During the night I noticed some weird popping inside my head from the ear to the jaw when I was chewing for a few seconds, it felt like it was a string connected from my ear to my jaw (if someone knows what that could be).
When I get out of bed on sunday, the first thing I notice is that my right ear feels blocked and full. Strangely enough, I cleaned out my ear at the GP the week before so I know it can't be wax. And as I walk in my apartment I can hear my footsteps in my right ear. Night comes and now there is a new kind of tinnitus in my right ear, a very low frequency humming. It feels like my whole head is shaking and there is no way I can sleep. I panick. The next day I go to the GP, she's having a look. No infection, just told me to wait a week and that I was scared. They made a hearing test with beeping sounds and my hearing seemed normal. Though, I felt almost deaf in the right ear compared to before. Obviously that is not the case but the hearing feels worse in the right ear, maybe because of the blockage. I've tried to equalize the ear but it does not seem to work.
So here I am one week later. This has been the worst week of my life and I am afraid I'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life. The blockage in the ear is still there. The ear is 'wooshing' when I jump up and down and it feels like something "physical" is in the ear. Can it be just the tinnitus that is making that sensation? It's worse when I lie down I feel like. It feels like I am hearing the vibration from something in the ear, that makes the low sound. When lying on the ear I can hear my heartbeat very clearly and sometimes I hear popping from inside the ear.
I know I have to get this checked with an ENT. I am not expecting a diagnosis from you guys but I just had to write all this down, in case someone can make me less stressed out. I am trying to prepare for the worst, but this won't be easy to deal with.
And sorry for the messy structure of the text.
/Gustav
I've been browsing this forum for the past week, reading many threads and I've went from hopeful to out of hope by reading some of your stories. I've decided I want to be a part of this community now that my T has completely taken over my life.
So my tinnitus started when I was 19 years old (2013). We had exams in school and loud music was being played all day and all night until I went home. Woke up the next day without T but the day after that I got a bad cold and the ringing started in my left ear. I've had this ringing in my left ear since then. Sort of habituated after two years or so but was still afraid of reading and had trouble concentrating. However the tinnitus did not affect my mood that often, just felt a bit sad that I was thinking about the T so many times per day. Took maybe two years before I could sleep without having the television on with sound. In the beginning the tinnitus was way worse when waking up from sleep, but that seems to have faded over the years. During all of this I've had more or less depressions. This autumn the depression has gotten worse and even anxiety has followed. Have been able to sleep but I got reminded of the T way to often when trying to listen to audiobooks etc which was very heartbreaking. Also I was put on antibiotics for 10 days, for what seemed like a borrelia mark on my leg, don't know if that could have impacted my T.
Last weekend, I was at a loud venue. Was bringing ear plugs but I made the mistake of not plugging in the sound lowering plastic part of the ear plug. I realised the mistake when the night was almost over, that my ears hadn't been protected as I thought they were being. The music wasn't hurting though, but when we got out of the venue I noticed my hearing was slightly lowered. We went home, I had several ringing sounds in my ears the following morning although I didn't panic. Depressed as I am, I drank alcohol with my friend the next day, postponing the anxiety for the sunday. I think I did some self injury as I thought, "if my tinnitus gets bad now, I will kill myself". During the night I noticed some weird popping inside my head from the ear to the jaw when I was chewing for a few seconds, it felt like it was a string connected from my ear to my jaw (if someone knows what that could be).
When I get out of bed on sunday, the first thing I notice is that my right ear feels blocked and full. Strangely enough, I cleaned out my ear at the GP the week before so I know it can't be wax. And as I walk in my apartment I can hear my footsteps in my right ear. Night comes and now there is a new kind of tinnitus in my right ear, a very low frequency humming. It feels like my whole head is shaking and there is no way I can sleep. I panick. The next day I go to the GP, she's having a look. No infection, just told me to wait a week and that I was scared. They made a hearing test with beeping sounds and my hearing seemed normal. Though, I felt almost deaf in the right ear compared to before. Obviously that is not the case but the hearing feels worse in the right ear, maybe because of the blockage. I've tried to equalize the ear but it does not seem to work.
So here I am one week later. This has been the worst week of my life and I am afraid I'm going to have to live with this for the rest of my life. The blockage in the ear is still there. The ear is 'wooshing' when I jump up and down and it feels like something "physical" is in the ear. Can it be just the tinnitus that is making that sensation? It's worse when I lie down I feel like. It feels like I am hearing the vibration from something in the ear, that makes the low sound. When lying on the ear I can hear my heartbeat very clearly and sometimes I hear popping from inside the ear.
I know I have to get this checked with an ENT. I am not expecting a diagnosis from you guys but I just had to write all this down, in case someone can make me less stressed out. I am trying to prepare for the worst, but this won't be easy to deal with.
And sorry for the messy structure of the text.
/Gustav
