Hopeless and Alone

[Sarah904]

Last night, I noticed a faint ringing in my left ear. At first, I thought the sound was emanating from the air vent but I soon realized that it was coming from within my own ear. Now, I'm familiar with an occasional ear ringage. You know, the ones that come out of nowhere and quickly subside? That was what I assumed I was experiencing. It didn't however, subside. I tossed and turned all night thanks to this bothersome sound on the hope that I'd wake up to blissful silence. You guessed it, I didn't.

Now, I'm lucky in that the ringing is easily drowned out by your normal daily background noise. It's fairly undetectable while I'm going about my less-than-interesting day as a stay-at-home mom. I'm unlucky in the fact that I suffer with general anxiety, depression and the dreaded health anxiety. Also by virtue of bad luck, I'm without health insurance.
I decided to book an appointment with an ENT that is 20 miles away--did I mention I have driving anxiety? Yes, I'm a blubbering mess. Yes, I feel like I've absolutely lost it. No, our family's budget can't afford a 150$ medical bill.

I'm not completely blind to ear problems. In fact, I have suffered three infections in the same ear in 2017 alone. I sort of hope it's another infection and not some incurable thing that I will have to live with forever because, honestly, I don't think I could deal with this for the rest of my life. To put that in context, I'm a 27 year old woman who has never experienced hearing issues, never been subjected to prolonged loud noises, never had a head injury. I'm experiencing no other symptoms besides the ringing. No dizziness, no pain--nothing.

For those of you who are well-versed in tinnitus(which I wholeheartedly believe I am dealing with) I ask you this: In your experience, has the ringing or otherwise bothersome sounds coming from within you ears been nothing more than an issue with ear wax? Have you felt the level of anxiety that causes you to fell ultimately hopeless? How do you find relief?

The anxiety is making me feel like every cell in my body is reverberating. I can't sleep or function. I'm scared, I feel hopeless and alone. Even more so than usual.

 

[Burnsie]

One thing is for sure. Listen for it and you will hear it!

Is there anything you think could be causing it? Stress etc are on that list too!!

p.s. dontread many thread on this forum. They are generally filled by those struggling. Most people with T dont struggle (as much) with it, so leave this forum.... No news (posts!) is good news!

 

[Sarah904]

Thanks for your advice. I am not sure of the cause but I suspect that it is either related to seasonal allergies or it has something to do with the recurring infections? I did attend a heavy metal concert recently but that was over a week ago. I don't know if that would result in a ringing that occurs days later. Then again, i'm no expert. I do know however, the ringing has brought on some pretty terrible emotional responses. That's probably what scares me the most.

 

[Michael Leigh]

For those of you who are well-versed in tinnitus(which I wholeheartedly believe I am dealing with) I ask you this: In your experience, has the ringing or otherwise bothersome sounds coming from within you ears been nothing more than an issue with ear wax?

Hi @Sarah904

Many things can cause tinnitus including earwax build up and stress. The most common cause is exposure to loud noise. Typically, it is headphone use and going to places where loud music is played. Clubs, and concerts even the cinema. In the early stages of tinnitus the best treatment for it is to do nothing. If you just have straight forward tinnitus without additional problems: ear pain, dizziness, balance problems or deafness then to do nothing is the way to go. Under these circumstances, one shouldn't really see an ENT doctor too early, preferably 4 to 6 months is ideal. Within this time a person can habituate to the tinnitus and it's no longer cause for concern. Try using a sound machine at night by your bedside for sound enrichment. More is explained in my posts by clicking on the links below. Try to read them in full and not skim through them.

All the best
Michael

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/new-to-tinnitus-what-to-do.12558/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/hyperacusis-as-i-see-it.19174/

 

[Bill Bauer]

Check out the thread below where I summarize everything (24 tips spread over three posts) I learned about managing tinnitus after reading the posts on this forum for the past 11 months
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...itus-recently-this-info-will-be-useful.25741/

 

[Sarah904]

Thank you for your advice. My health anxiety tends to make me gravitate towards the worse case scenario even though I know, somewhere in the logical part of my brain, that it's not as bad as it seems. I'll be sure to read though those links! Thanks so much!

 

[Cheza]

The anxiety is making me feel like every cell in my body is reverberating. I can't sleep or function. I'm scared, I feel hopeless and alone. Even more so than usual.

Buy l-theanine. It will help you.
Consistency of Research results (from Examine.com):
High: A notable increase in relaxation (usually without sedation) appears to occur, as assessed by neural measurements (such as alpha-waves) or self-report surveys. Occurs within 30 minutes to an hour.
Moderate: Possible anxiety reducing effects, although anticipatory anxiety appears to be unaffected. (italics mine)
Other: Sleep quality has been noted to improve in persons with hyperactivity during sleep (such as ADHD). Sleep duration and latency do not appear to be affected.

I used l-theanine in the early days of severe tinnitus. It did help to calm me down. There are a lot of brands available, so it's up to you which one to choose. You can read the reviews on Amazon.

 

[Sarah904]

Thank you! I'll look into it.

 

[dingaling]

Hi Sarah904

I know it probably won't help - but thinking about tinnitus and feeling anxious about it will slow down the time it takes for T to go away. If you are really, really concerned - go and get yourself checked out - otherwise, try not to focus on it and listen to some relaxing sounds. You may be worrying over nothing.

T, although annoying - is not going to harm you

 

[Darastonius]

I had stress induced tinnitus, it went away after about 2 months. Problem is, if you stress a lot, likely it will never go away. You have to get rid of stress completely, and only after that you will see improvements in the following weeks.

 

[Quiet please]

Each & every time, even after 9 years, when I get stressed out, the T spikes.

I take prescribed Xanax. It calms me down with 15 minutes. In the beginning, I took it every day; now just once or twice a week. I have better (not perfect) coping skills now. Deep breathing being one.

 

[Sam Bridge]

Damn heavy metal!

 

[Sarah904]

Thanks, guys for your support and advice. I'm feeling a little better now. The ringing is still there but I've been trying to preoccupy myself and it's not as unnerving. I might try and do some yoga to relax. I emailed my doc about the anxiety. Hopefully she can call something in. Thanks again

 

[Sarah904]

lol @Sam Bridge

 

[dorje]

Under these circumstances, one shouldn't really see an ENT doctor too early, preferably 4 to 6 months is ideal. Within this time a person can habituate to the tinnitus and it's no longer cause for concern.

So, habituated tinnitus means cured tinnitus?

 

[Michael Leigh]

So, habituated tinnitus means cured tinnitus?

@dorje

No, habituation doesn't mean the tinnitus is cured. When a person habituates it means their brain no longer sees the tinnitus as a threat and the person can comfortably live with it. Please read the post below.

The habituation process.

Habituation is frequently talked about in tinnitus forums and probably comes in at second place to the popular question: when will a cure be found? It seems some people have become quite taken with this word and believe it is the most important thing to strive for when dealing with this condition. Everyone wants to habituate as soon as possible and carry on living their life doing everything that they want to and putting tinnitus firmly behind them.

I can honestly say that I see nothing wrong with that, but wanting something in the speed that we would like it isn't always achievable, especially with something like tinnitus. A few people that have had tinnitus for a while, have contacted me to discuss just that. They have concerns about the length of time it's taking to habituate. Similarly, I have heard from those new to this condition that want the habitation process to start as quickly as possible. Both groups tell me they are doing all the right things but it seems patience is giving way to despondency and despair and some are starting to believe habituation might never happen for them.

It is of little comfort to these people when they hear family and friends say, tinnitus is just a minor irritant and something that can easily be ignored. Occasionally, it might be intrusive but this is never more than temporary and they are still able to carry on with their life unperturbed. I often sense the frustration a person is under when they are relaying this to me. Whether I'm talking to them on the telephone, private messenger or answering an email. It is then that I'm often asked: why is it that the habituation process doesn't seem to be happening for them?

Answering such a question isn't easy because there is no single answer that I can provide but I will say this. Tinnitus is a common condition that comes in many forms and intensities and no two people experience it the same. It can be very troublesome especially in the early stages of onset, but gradually this gives way and the condition settles down and in time many manage to cope with it when it's mild or moderate. Sometimes this may involve treatment via a hearing therapist or a person achieves this naturally without being referred to a clinic.

It should be noted that tinnitus can be a complex condition, depending on how loud and intrusive it is for the individual? So what I've just outlined won't apply to everyone. There are other factors that also come into play. A person's make-up or rather their outlook on life. Whether they are positive or negative thinking can help or delay the habitation process. In addition to this, stress and anxiety are often associated with tinnitus and a person might be taking medication such as an antidepressant to help cope with it. There are a myriad of scenarios that I could relay to you on how tinnitus can affect someone's quality of life, their well-being and the habituation process. For now I will say this:

When a person habituates to tinnitus it means they are able cope with it but this doesn't mean they will never hear it. Although some people habituate to a level where the tinnitus is rarely heard or stays at a very low level. Whether the tinnitus is silent for periods of time or remains low, mild, moderate or is occasionally intrusive, it doesn't really matter, because it all means the same thing. When habituation is reached a person will know, because whatever the level it will not bother you. However, like everything there are exceptions and tinnitus is no different. I believe there are some limitations to habituation. As I have previously said the condition comes in many forms and intensities. Some people have variable tinnitus that can fluctuate from silent, mild, moderate and severe. When it is loud and intrusive (severe) and this level is sustained for long periods it can become very debilitating and a person might have to take medication to cope with it, which is usually supplied by their doctor. This level of sustained intrusiveness shouldn't be confused with a tinnitus spike, which usually returns to baseline within a short period of time.

I want to say that I believe habituation is achievable for most people with time. In some instances a person might need the professional help of a Hearing Therapist or Audiologist, as there are a variety of treatment options available to help one in the habituation process. One should also try to be realistic. There are some people that will accept nothing less than a complete cure from their tinnitus and this is unfortunate, because they could waste a lot of time being miserable.

I have corresponded with people that have said, their tinnitus is very low and is only heard occasionally or in a quiet room, at night for instance. Yet these people are not satisfied because they want a complete cure and will deliberately seek out quiet surroundings to monitor their tinnitus, checking to see if it has increased or not. It's as if they have become obsessed with this condition and to the point where is starts to affect their relationship with those that are close to them, and I don't think this is healthy.

In summing up I want to say one last thing. Those that are having treatment with a Hearing Therapist, Audiologist, or finding that their tinnitus is becoming less intrusive and they are in the habituation process. Try not to read negative posts or associate with negative thinking people who are not in the same place that you are, as their beliefs can prevent your advancement, if you are not careful.

I wish you well
Michael

PS: further reading on habituation:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/hyperacusis-as-i-see-it.19174/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/answers-to-hyperacusis-and-habituation.12058/

 

[jjflyman]

and not some incurable thing that I will have to live with forever because, honestly, I don't think I could deal with this for the rest of my life

Take a deep breath and relax. IMO it is way to early to think this is anything other than a temporary situation.
Get it checked out by your ENT, make sure you tell him all your symptoms (ringing ect...)
Don't be discouraged if the ENT says nothing can be done for the ringing, but maybe there is a treatable condition that is causing the ringing. Your T is extremely new, and most cases of Tinnitus resolves itself over a few months, or sometimes 6-18 months. I think you will be fine.

 

[Sarah904]

Thank you, @jjflyman that is very comforting. Also, I love the Doctor Who logo!

 

[Sarah904]

Honestly, I just listened for it again. It doesn't seem as loud as before. I'm hoping it will be gone by tomorrow and I can skip that expensive appointment. Part of me just wants to cancel altogether and tough it out on my own. I mean, is it really worth the 150$ to just be told to deal with it?

 

[jjflyman]

Honestly, I just listened for it again. It doesn't seem as loud as before. I'm hoping it will be gone by tomorrow and I can skip that expensive appointment. Part of me just wants to cancel altogether and tough it out on my own. I mean, is it really worth the 150$ to just be told to deal with it?

If you have no other symptoms (pain, fullness,ect..) then yeah, you might want to give it a chance to resolve on it's own. maybe give it a week to see how it goes?

 

[Sarah904]

Yeah. I have no other symptoms. You're probably right. I'm going to keep the appt for now and see how I feel in the morning. If it's gotten worse or I have new symptoms, I might just go ahead and try to go.

 

[fishbone]

There are no known reasons as to why we get tinnitus. Anything can cause it and we cannot 100% prevent it. Stress/anxiety are known triggers for it and can make it much worst. If you have ringing in your ears, then do your best to try to relax and not get too emotional over it. You are in the very early stages of tinnitus and it can be scary at first. All of us were scared at first and it took some time to get used to it.

There is no guarantee if your tinnitus will stay or go away. If it goes away, wonderful. If it stays, do know that you still can live a productive life, even with your ears ringing. There are many ways to cope and adapt and live a life with tinnitus.

One word about meds, supplements that help with relaxations. Both types can possibly cause addiction and possible withdrawals. I speak from experience on both sides of the fence and can tell you just how horrible my withdrawals were.

You can find and read about tons of tools and techniques that can help one relax, get distracted and not listen and think about their tinnitus.

All in all, it will take time to learn how to deal with your tinnitus and adapt/cope/habituate to it

You choose what you want to do, but I am sharing my 30 years of experience here.

 

[Sarah904]

Thank you, @fishbone Honestly, I have a phobia of most medicines of any kind anyway. Except for the occasional tylenol. I guess most of the stress and anxiety has came from the appt cost and the thought that it could be something serious? I mean, the ringing is annoying but I feel like if I was certain that that was all there was then it would be easier to deal with. I also worry that it will get worse and turn into some obnoxious ringing that drowns out everything and drives me insane.

 

[dorje]

@Sarah904
I've had tinnitus for two months, it's quieter a lot, and also I've started habituating it, so it's not as bothering as it was at the beginning. And, considering that it's quieter and not all the time, I'm thinking positive, that, I have pretty big chance it will dissolve completely over the next 2-4 months.

 

[Sarah904]

Update: Before I tucked myself into bed last night and after I had a mental breakdown to my husband (during which he told my he has had tinnitus for YEARS and never told me) I plugged in a small fan to drown out that dreaded noise. It worked. I was able to drift off to sleep. This morning I woke up and didn't even notice the ringing but my anxiety talked me into listening for it. I can only hear it if I plug my ear in silence. I decided to cancel my appt mostly because of the cost but also because I don't think that it's that serious considering I have no other symptoms. If it starts to hurt or become worse, I'll reschedule. Anyway, I'm going to try to stay positive and hope that this resolves on it's own. I seriously hate it that some people have to deal with this constantly.
P.S. I couldn't even hear it at all until I decided to drink the coffee I made this morning that was strong enough to get up and walk to me.

 

[Sarah904]

I don't think he's lying. He has worked construction since he was 16. It makes sense. Plus, I know when my husband is lying.

 

[Tinker Bell]

I don't think he's lying. He has worked construction since he was 16. It makes sense. Plus, I know when my husband is lying.

With a job in construction, it is very likely that he has tinnitus and/or hearing loss. Definitely continue to talk to your husband for support. I could not have made it through the first months without the support of my husband and kids.

Many people have tinnitus. I know multiple people with hearing loss and loud tinnitus and some with quiet tinnitus. Several of my friends realized they hear ringing in quiet rooms after talking with me. It was almost comical, I felt like I was spreading a contagious disease every time another friend realized it.

Tinnitus can vary in volume but anxiety has the power to turn even quiet tinnitus into a severe disturbance. If you struggle with anxiety, you may want to look into CBT. It has really helped me to cope and keep my anxiety in check.

 

[Sarah904]

Thank you! I'm already in therapy to try and cope with my anxiety. I haven't discussed the tinnitus yet though because it just started.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Thank you! I'm already in therapy to try and cope with my anxiety. I haven't discussed the tinnitus yet though because it just started.

That is good, talk with your therapist about it. After my first therapy appointment, I drove home to the quietest my tinnitus has been since it started. I have severe hearing loss in high frequencies, so realizing anxiety and not just hearing loss could impact my tinnitus was a surprise.

My therapist and I view tinnitus similar to a chronic condition. I am used to having chronic health concerns, so for me that simple mindset change helped me feel like I could cope.

Don't hesitate to PM me if you need to talk! I'm a mom with anxiety, too, and I know how challenging it can be.

 

[Sarah904]

Hey @Tinker Bell Last night it seemed like another sound was introduced into the mix of the already there sound. Like a high-pitched screech similar to the ambient sound that running electronics would make or the noise from a dead silent room. If that makes sense? I'd gotten used to the already-there sound but the new one seemed to come from nowhere. Or maybe not? Do you think that it is possible that it was just anxiety? I seem to only hear it when I am thinking about it, which I have been doing because...anxiety. I know you aren't a doctor (or maybe you are? lol) but I just thought, since you seem to be knowledgeable on the subject, that you would have some insight. Thank you!
P.S. Does caffeine make it worse?
Also, I couldn't figure out how to PM you. lol