Horrible Morning Anxiety

[SallyT]

I've been stuck in a vicious cycle. Just to mention I am about 4 weeks in with T due to high freq. hearing loss.

When I first get to bed I can usually fall asleep fairly easily. I have been using white noise, sound therapy, headphones, etc.

I sleep for about 4 hours and invariably wake up. From there it's all downhill. I toss and turn and never truly fall back to sleep despite my efforts to focus on the other sounds.

I can tell as I toss and turn I am shaking. When it's time to get up....I am shaking and have major anxiety.

It's like the frustration of not being able to properly get back to sleep puts me in to an anxiety feedback loop.

I started on Citalopram a week ago, and have lorazepam "as needed" until the Citalopram builds up. I think the Citalopram actually helps me initially get to sleep, but not stay there.

This morning anxiety is the worst. I took about a week off of work as I bottomed out emotionally. I was going to try to go back Monday as I beleive isolation and idleness are not helpful and trying to get back to work will help me move on. There is enough ambient noise in the office and by keeping busy I can typically function.

But mornings are horrible. I don't know how I can face getting up, put myself together in office clothes, hair, make up when I am a shaking wreck.

Anyone else have any words of wisdom, encouragement, support to get me through? Please.

 

[Dave1]

Hi Sally

I understand how you feel. I haven't been diagnosed yet but I'm pretty sure I have it. This is my third week and worst week. I looked forward to falling asleep last night and the thought of getting up this morning was really depressing. I may not have helped you but I feel your pain and you're not alone.

Dave

 

[Starthrower]

It will get better. I remember those mornings. When I would get out by forcing myself I felt detached as if there was a glass dome surrounding me and I could see regular life going on but could not be a part of it.

Talk to your doctor about the anxiety. It is important to find a way to deal with it.

For me white noise made me more anxious. So I used soothing music instead.

The first months are very tough. But you can get past it. I did.

 

[fishbone]

I've been stuck in a vicious cycle. Just to mention I am about 4 weeks in with T due to high freq. hearing loss.

When I first get to bed I can usually fall asleep fairly easily. I have been using white noise, sound therapy, headphones, etc.

I sleep for about 4 hours and invariably wake up. From there it's all downhill. I toss and turn and never truly fall back to sleep despite my efforts to focus on the other sounds.

I can tell as I toss and turn I am shaking. When it's time to get up....I am shaking and have major anxiety.

It's like the frustration of not being able to properly get back to sleep puts me in to an anxiety feedback loop.

I started on Citalopram a week ago, and have lorazepam "as needed" until the Citalopram builds up. I think the Citalopram actually helps me initially get to sleep, but not stay there.

This morning anxiety is the worst. I took about a week off of work as I bottomed out emotionally. I was going to try to go back Monday as I beleive isolation and idleness are not helpful and trying to get back to work will help me move on. There is enough ambient noise in the office and by keeping busy I can typically function.

But mornings are horrible. I don't know how I can face getting up, put myself together in office clothes, hair, make up when I am a shaking wreck.

Anyone else have any words of wisdom, encouragement, support to get me through? Please.

Hi Sally

Is your anxiety because of the tinnitus? If so, then it is 100% natural to have it. having a new/odd/horrible sound in our heads can make it hard at times, especially if its new to you. When I first got tinnitus in 88-89, i was worried, scared and confused. I talked with many people and tried to figure out what was going on. I highly suggest that you talk it out with someone, maybe even a therapist. talking does lots of good.

I also suggest, that you get as much exercise as possible and distract yourself from the tinnitus.

This is a new journey, for you, it will take time but you can cope and adapt to it. I have a level 10 tinnitus, in both ears and i don't question it and simply accept it and move forward. YES, its not easy and not fun, but fighting it only makes it worst...

Be well

 

[SallyT]

Thank you. Feeling pretty dreadful physically today after a couple of decent days. It may be the Citalopram...I've only been on it a week at 10mg to onboard. last night was the night to up it to 20mg.
Am told it takes a while to build up and have an effect.
I used to love bedtime. Now I dread it.

 

[MikeL1972]

Hi Sally and everyone else who suffers from anxiety strictly due to tinnitus:

What helped me with tinnitus is convincing my brain that tinnitus is not lethal. For the first two weeks last year at this time as a matter of fact, I was at my wits end and thinking cowardly thoughts. Slowly, gradually, I told my mind that this sound is nothing and I should move on. Honestly, it took a good 4-6 months for it to really sink in and not cause me anxiety.

What is causing me sleep loss for the past week has been waking up to go to the bathroom and not being able to sleep afterwards. Nocturia is the clinical name for it. I hope I will be able to shake it soon and enjoy a good night's rest!

 

[glynis]

My sister was put on Citalopram 20mg last week.
She was a shaking wreak all week so her doctor changed the medication...lots of love glynis

 

[fishbone]

Most of these sleep meds lose their effectiveness and you have to increase dosages. I was well aware of that when, my tinnitus journey began. It can be hard getting off these meds as well. I am not saying what is right or wrong, I am just giving my experience.

 

[Allen Charney]

I can so relate to your suffering, panic, despair, Sally. But here's the good news, unexpected though it was, I did aclimmatize to the new normal. It took me about a year during which I'd had audiologist consults, considered various masking therapies, tinnitus retraining therapy, cognitive therapy, etc., most of the time in a state of high anxiety and terror, and most to no avail although I did receive some wisdom along the way. My thoughts at the time were dark indeed, as dark as they've ever been. I did alot of guided meditation online. I had to reevaluate what I'd come to know as quality of life. I had to find gratitude when 5 minutes of time would pass without me feeling assaulted by T. After a while I began to purposely avoid the online forums focused on the suffering, and the compulsive research I'd embarked on, on the advice that I had to, to the best of my ability, put T in the backseat, and climb back into the driver seat. I did get some help from forums, don't get me wrong, especially this one, when T first onset. It was on this website that I was reassured that as dark as it seemed, transcending T and living life happily was possible. Life after T was possible. In one support forum I was told to make friends with or at least name the new bully. I named mine "Buzz". To this day I can have a chuckle and get some comfort on bad days telling Buzz he sure is making his presence known today. Kind of like dealing with a recalcitrant child. In my case, I've even enjoyed some changes for the better, a more acute sense of life's smaller graces. Over time I began having longer periods of remission from the intense emotional reaction that is the most predominant symptom, far more than the ringing of T. T was still there, but no longer constantly intrusive. Then one day an entire day had almost elapsed before I remembered, and "heard", T. There is life after T. Wishing you a speedy aclimmatization.

 

[Parfait]

I'm going through similar. Your only options are to be tireder when you go to bed. Try going to bed a bit later or doing more exercise during the day. Try a pillow speaker? Force yourself to think of a happy place. If trying to get to sleep progressively go round all your muscle groups and force yourself to relax every one.

 

[chrishoffmanphd]

Sally,

I feel your pain for sure. I've had tinnitus basically as long as I can remember. Probably also due to high frequency hearing loss as I'm a musician. Late 2014 I had a surgery on my ear that worsened my T past anything I ever thought imaginable. Nothing masked it whatsoever. On top of that I'm already a very anxious person and somewhat prone to panic attacks. That point in my life was pretty much hell and I can directly relate to the being able to fall asleep but the second you wake up the first thing in your head is that ringing. Well I can 2 years later the ringing hasn't subsided in any way, I still can't mask it with anything. That being I said I could care less. It no longer affects my quality of life. I don't need to mask it cause it doesn't matter that it's there. I can remember doubting habituation but it happens. My best advice to you is understand how habituation works, give it time, and if you're an anxious person don't be afraid to take your lorazepam and get a few hours to relax when you need it. Your life is still your life

 

[Sally55Brown]

I have been experiencing the exact thing recently...I have had T for about 3 months now...I started taking homeopathic stress reducers and it has helped me relax in the morning. May be worth a try for some of you who are not excited about resorting to prescription stress reducers...so you are not alone!! One day at a time or even one hour at a time if that works better.