Horror Stories — I Think I'm Alone — My Tinnitus Is Louder Than My Chrysler Grand Voyager

[marc 1974 london]

Why are there so many horror stories on the internet? Here included, trying to cope & so many suicide cases... makes me feel so much worse.

I wish I could just remove my ears, it would be so simple.

I think I'm alone, this ringing is so loud.

Is it common to have this high pitched squeal amongst other sounds??

Louder than driving my diesel Chrysler Grand Voyager on the motorway with the air con & radio on...

Feels so insular dealing with it.

 

[dpdx]

There are success/positive stories. I know many people who have Tinnitus and live productive and happy lives. You have to know that we here are SEVERE cases.

 

[PDodge]

There's only 20k people on this site. There are many people with tinnitus that in sure are just as bad. There are parts of my tinnitus that can be heard against any background sounds. I think a lot of it has to do with the frequency of the tinnitus not necessarily how loud it is.

 

[marc 1974 london]

You have to know that we here are SEVERE cases.

Yeah that's the scary bit mines extreme & after 37 years it's cracking me up, first time I'm on meds to sleep last night although tonight I'm on herbal drink with pink noise on the tv somehow I'm half chilled, can't sleep but having a read.
Never thought tin would get this loud, as a teenager I cried for weeks it was bad but now it's unreal, I think it's worse than everyone else's but I guess it's same as a lot of people... hard in family home no one else has it & don't get what's going on feel very isolated.. understand why people give up just scary reading it & the reality of feeling like that's a way out

 

[dpdx]

Yeah that's the scary bit mines extreme & after 37 years it's cracking me up, first time I'm on meds to sleep last night although tonight I'm on herbal drink with pink noise on the tv somehow I'm half chilled, can't sleep but having a read.
Never thought tin would get this loud, as a teenager I cried for weeks it was bad but now it's unreal, I think it's worse than everyone else's but I guess it's same as a lot of people... hard in family home no one else has it & don't get what's going on feel very isolated.. understand why people give up just scary reading it & the reality of feeling like that's a way out

What worsened it?

 

[85dB T]

Louder than driving my diesel Chrysler Grand Voyager on the motorway with the air con & radio on...

Today I wondered if I stuck my head out the window (while going down the highway) would I still hear it.

Marc, I feel your pain. Enough to respond here and share our situation. I don't know what we're going to do. There isn't anything we can do. It didn't kill us, maybe shorten our lives. It's been five years being serve level. I'm just now accepting this as my new normal. Life is tough for many, many people. Guess I didn't make it untouched like I always thought I would. Of all the health concerns I avoided, an imaginary noise took me down.

 

[robHing]

Is it common to have this high pitched squeal amongst other sounds?

Our cochlea cell hairs of high frequency are very thin. They are easily damaged by acoustic trauma.
So, most T people hear the high pitched sound due to high frequency being damaged.

 

[marc 1974 london]

Went to a friends wedding bit loud, I even tried my best to stay out the way & leave early... went in the garden for an hour tried really hard not to damage ears...
I've had spikes before this is a whole new level it's scary, but I've habituated so many times before too... I think the anxiety, depression, catastrophising, fight & flight thing add so much to it.... it's horrible in your head just listening to it but the emotional stress is something else...

 

[PDodge]

Today I wondered if I stuck my head out the window (while going down the highway) would I still hear it.

I feel your pain. Enough to respond here and share our situation. I don't know what we're going to do. There isn't anything we can do. It didn't kill us, maybe shorten our lives. It's been five years being serve level. I'm just now accepting this as my new normal. Life is tuff for many, many people. Guess I didn't make it untouched like I always thought I would.

Exactly. I hate saying it but before I got T I wondered what would get me, we all know someone who has cancer or died in an accident, I guess this is mine. I'm happy I'm not blind and have my limbs. Stills sucks ass though

 

[marc 1974 london]

sucks ass

Certainly does, it's torture.... seems wierd to consider that it's not something I could cope with but your 5 years at a high level.... I'm 37 years but managed most of that... this is dogshit

 

[marc 1974 london]

frequency

Agree with that, I think I can feel it as well as hear it.... so high pitched that's why it's so awful it's painful & not many sounds cover it.

 

[85dB T]

I'm 37 years but managed most of that... this is dogshit

My T wasn't loud enough to change the course of my life when I was younger. But yours has been troublesome since you were eight? Have you struggled coping since then? Have you had steady work and are you able to not worry excessively about finances?

 

[fishbone]

Why are there so many horror stories on the internet? Here included, trying to cope & so many suicide cases... makes me feel so much worse.

I wish I could just remove my ears, it would be so simple.

I think I'm alone, this ringing is so loud.

Is it common to have this high pitched squeal amongst other sounds??

Louder than driving my diesel Chrysler Grand Voyager on the motorway with the air con & radio on...

Feels so insular dealing with it.

I deal with this daily. Mine has gotten louder as well and it is what it is. I cannot and will not just stop my life because of the ringing. I have brutal ringing and severe hearing loss. It does make life a bit more challenging, but that's ok I welcome challenges and will not back down from it....

I find that there is no use for me to read horror stories. It gains me no benefit by doing this. My mind, reading is filled with up lifting stories. Stories of how people overcome and beat their afflictions. That's the type of stuff I read daily and It helps out quite a bit.

 

[Spiral]

Went to a friends wedding bit loud, I even tried my best to stay out the way & leave early... went in the garden for an hour tried really hard not to damage ears...
I've had spikes before this is a whole new level it's scary, but I've habituated so many times before too... I think the anxiety, depression, catastrophising, fight & flight thing add so much to it.... it's horrible in your head just listening to it but the emotional stress is something else...

Get a pair of these babies, attach it to your keyring and pop them in when it gets loud. Feel comforted knowing you'll always have it in your pocket.
https://www.amazon.com/Reverbs-High-Fidelity-Ear-Plugs/dp/B01GSJ1V0O/

The key is not to give a shit if people judge you.

 

[85dB T]

I deal with this daily. Mine has gotten louder as well and it is what it is. I cannot and will not just stop my life because of the ringing. I have brutal ringing and severe hearing loss. It does make life a bit more challenging, but that's ok I welcome challenges and will not back down from it....

I find that there is no use for me to read horror stories. It gains me no benefit by doing this. My mind, reading is filled with up lifting stories. Stories of how people overcome and beat their afflictions. That's the type of stuff I read daily and It helps out quite a bit.

@fishbone, from reading you post I feel you are a true sufferer, a "successful sufferer". I agree with your advice. Maybe Marc is just tired of not having anyone to relate to his suffering. We all get tired and hit a low now and then.

I used to play three different sports passionately, aggressively, successfully and frequently. Since my T turned severe I have no desire, haven't played hardly at all in five years. I try it and blah. Funny, I lost my career due to T and now have more time but no interest.

I go to workout but have no passion. Might as well be lifting sinter blocks for pay, both have the same low enthusiasm.

How do you develop desire, passion and motivation with constant stomach nauseating T? Seriously. Looking for advice to get my old life back as much as possible.

I have started swimming. The water splashing in the indoor public pool covers T somewhat.

 

[PDodge]

I deal with this daily. Mine has gotten louder as well and it is what it is. I cannot and will not just stop my life because of the ringing. I have brutal ringing and severe hearing loss. It does make life a bit more challenging, but that's ok I welcome challenges and will not back down from it....

I find that there is no use for me to read horror stories. It gains me no benefit by doing this. My mind, reading is filled with up lifting stories. Stories of how people overcome and beat their afflictions. That's the type of stuff I read daily and It helps out quite a bit.

You're a champ, my friend

 

[Contrast]

Why are there so many horror stories on the internet? Here included, trying to cope & so many suicide cases... makes me feel so much worse.

I wish I could just remove my ears, it would be so simple.

I think I'm alone, this ringing is so loud.

Is it common to have this high pitched squeal amongst other sounds??

Louder than driving my diesel Chrysler Grand Voyager on the motorway with the air con & radio on...

Feels so insular dealing with it.

removing your ears would make tinnitus worse.

 

[fishbone]

@fishbone, from reading you post I feel you are a true sufferer, a "successful sufferer". I agree with your advice. Maybe Marc is just tired of not having anyone to relate to his suffering. We all get tired and hit a low now and then.

I used to play three different sports passionately, aggressively, successfully and frequently. Since my T turned severe I have no desire, haven't played hardly at all in five years. I try it and blah. Funny, I lost my career due to T and now have more time but no interest.

I go to workout but have no passion. Might as well be lifting sinter blocks for pay, both have the same low enthusiasm.

How do you develop desire, passion and motivation with constant stomach nauseating T? Seriously. Looking for advice to get my old life back as much as possible.

I have started swimming. The water splashing in the indoor public pool covers T somewhat.

My situation can be quite sad and a bit depressing in all honesty. I lost both parents 5 years ago and have no support daily from anyone. I wake up with body pain all over (fibro) and demonic ringing in the head. I honestly do shake my head when I wake up, i say to myself "wow how can such a life exist". I say to myself "Damn this garbage is so loud, how can such a thing exist". I basically give myself a 5 minute pity party. Then I say that I am the only one, that can help myself. Many days I feel like just sleeping in my bed all day long, but that is not going to make my life better.

I feel that it's ok for us to feel how we feel. We are honest with ourselves. Being honest with ourselves and accepting what we face is key. If I don't remain positive and keep pushing forward, then no one will. I control my own destiny, we control our own destiny.

After my 5 minutes of pity are over, I get out of bed and head to the gym for 1-2 hours/6 days a week and do my martial arts 4 days a week. I mentor young adults, I feed the homeless and I show compassion and love to those that need it.

I am all for becoming a better person and doing more in my life. In this past 2 months I have read 7 books and I buy new ones each week and keep reading and learning. No matter how loud this damn ringing is, my willpower and desire for greatness overcomes it.

I base my success to my mentality and courage to stand up to my afflictions. It's NOT an easy life at all, it can be quite sad when you have no one to love you and support you daily. It's the cards that I been dealt and I accept it and will try to make my future better by just being positive and taking baby steps each and everyday.....

I think it's ok for us to feel down about life and its challenges, but the key is to get back up, keep trying each day and pushing forward.

 

[85dB T]

My situation can be quite sad and a bit depressing in all honesty. I lost both parents 5 years ago and have no support daily from anyone. I wake up with body pain all over (fibro) and demonic ringing in the head. I honestly do shake my head when I wake up, i say to myself "wow how can such a life exist". I say to myself "Damn this garbage is so loud, how can such a thing exist". I basically give myself a 5 minute pity party. Then I say that I am the only one, that can help myself. Many days I feel like just sleeping in my bed all day long, but that is not going to make my life better.

I feel that it's ok for us to feel how we feel. We are honest with ourselves. Being honest with ourselves and accepting what we face is key. If I don't remain positive and keep pushing forward, then no one will. I control my own destiny, we control our own destiny.

After my 5 minutes of pity are over, I get out of bed and head to the gym for 1-2 hours/6 days a week and do my martial arts 4 days a week. I mentor young adults, I feed the homeless and I show compassion and love to those that need it.

I am all for becoming a better person and doing more in my life. In this past 2 months I have read 7 books and I buy new ones each week and keep reading and learning. No matter how loud this damn ringing is, my willpower and desire for greatness overcomes it.

I base my success to my mentality and courage to stand up to my afflictions. It's NOT an easy life at all, it can be quite sad when you have no one to love you and support you daily. It's the cards that I been dealt and I accept it and will try to make my future better by just being positive and taking baby steps each and everyday.....

I think it's ok for us to feel down about life and its challenges, but the key is to get back up, keep trying each day and pushing forward.

Yes, understood and agree with all you said. I too lost both my parents, they were divorced since I was 9th grade.

Speaking of pity parties and I know you'll agree. We all seem to think our suffering is worse than everyone else. It may be true but we never know, all is subjective here.

That being said I did have quite an eventful episode due to T that lasted two years. Hard to say how much of it was caused by T or just other unrelated problems combined together for catastrophe. The details of my two years are so bad I can't brag, too embarrassing, utter failure. I am luck to be alive. Thank God for that.

But like you said and I paraphrase: Things happen, we get up, shake it off and make due with what we have. Life is short enough, give it out best.

Okay! Fishbone.... I'm going to lift weights and T can kiss my grits.

Thanks for the positive motivation.

Ps- T still sucks haha

 

[fishbone]

Yes, understood and agree with all you said. I too lost both my parents, they were divorced since I was 9th grade.

Speaking of pity parties and I know you'll agree. We all seem to think our suffering is worse than everyone else. It may be true but we never know, all is subjective here.

That being said I did have quite an eventful episode due to T that lasted two years. Hard to say how much of it was caused by T or just other unrelated problems combined together for catastrophe. The details of my two years are so bad I can't brag, too embarrassing, utter failure. I am luck to be alive. Thank God for that.

But like you said and I paraphrase: Things happen, we get up, shake it off and make due with what we have. Life is short enough, give it out best.

Okay! Fishbone.... I'm going to lift weights and T can kiss my grits.

Thanks for the positive motivation.

Ps- T still sucks haha

In life we need to find people that inspire us. We need to find anything that can inspire us. These inspirations can serve as a vehicle to help us pick ourselves up and keep moving forward. My posts inspire some people, some people inspire me. Life for sure is a grind, but we gotta grind back at it.

I am all for the gym and martial arts. Some folks might prefer yoga or walking, do what works best for you folks. In life we have to try and try till something finally makes sense for us.

I attribute a lot of my thinking to the eastern/zen style of thinking.
I was not like this when I when I was younger.......

 

[85dB T]

Life for sure is a grind, but we gotta grind back at it.

Yes, it's easy to forget people without T are also issued suffering. All successful people have a resiliency to suffering.

I attribute a lot of my thinking to the eastern/zen style of thinking.
I was not like this when I when I was younger.......

Agree. T makes us reach outside ourselves to find strength we need.

For me I attribute my thinking to the sufferings Christ experienced in his life. We all must bear our cross and rise above.

 

[Autumnly]

There are definitely other people with very loud tinnitus. I'd say they all cope differently.

'Horror stories' exist because that's the brutal side of tinnitus but that doesn't mean it has to end that way for you. There are also people with severe tinnitus who still continue to live lives they are proud of.

I have several tones in each ear, never a quiet day. I'm hoping new treatments will be out in a few years, that's what currently keeps me going.

 

[85dB T]

I know many people who have Tinnitus and live productive and happy lives.

Sorry, couldn't resist, hehe

I'll regret posting this in the morning!

 

[Bam]

Why are there so many horror stories on the internet? Here included, trying to cope & so many suicide cases... makes me feel so much worse.

I wish I could just remove my ears, it would be so simple.

I think I'm alone, this ringing is so loud.

Is it common to have this high pitched squeal amongst other sounds??

Louder than driving my diesel Chrysler Grand Voyager on the motorway with the air con & radio on...

Feels so insular dealing with it.

You have my sympathies.

For some of us this was our 'introduction' to T. From total quite to absolute squealing carnage 24/7. This level is why there are so many horror stories on the Internet.

I truly say this not to scare you but to make you realise you are NOT ALONE and your are NOT WEAK for struggling with this.

From tough personal experience and wisdom acquired through months of pure hell...... if the volume doesn't go down fast, if you're ever going to even have a chance of 'getting used to it' then I believe you need massive resilience, mentally and physically, an enormous desire to stay alive, and a very well constructed life financially and socially with towering pillars of living support all around you.

If you have that you have a chance.