How Bad of an Idea Is It to Just Stop Caring and Pretend I Don’t Have Tinnitus Anymore?

[Michael Leigh]

I don't really understand the point of hiding away like a hermit. Hiding from sound only seems to make me more sensitive when I am exposed to it and nothing about living in the quiet has made the tinnitus any better

This is the correct attitude and the way to do things. Try and go about your life participating and enjoying the things you want to do. It takes time but gradually you will become stronger. Try not to read negative content or associate with people that think tinnitus and hyperacusis means one's life is over because this is not the case.

The ears don't heal. Once the damage is done it's done. Besides, my noise trauma was 11 years ago. It becomes a mental exercise at this point.

This is partly true with noise induced tinnitus but in many instances the ears can make a good recovery. A lot of people habituate within 18 months with or without specialist treatment. It all depends how severe the tinnitus and hyperacusis are, and how much they affect a person's mental and emotional wellbeing.

Michael

 

[Damocles]

View attachment 48734

Thank you for this @Stacken77. I was looking all over for a picture of a smashed glass and Mix Master Healy.

I'd think that's like going to the gym with a broken bone.

Not a good idea, because the fracture will never heal as long as you do that.

The ears don't heal. Once the damage is done it's done.

You're assuming @Rainer was talking about CHC/IES regrowth, but "healing" can mean a lot of things.

While the ears might not have the ability to regenerate those things, the brain on the other hand, does have the ability to reduce the sound (as some of us here have experienced, and can attest to).

Thank you to @Diesel (once again) for explaining this succinctly.

So if you're going to just head out without hearing protection, and subject your ears to noise traumas on a daily basis, then those over-excited neurons in your ANS are never going to have a chance to calm down, or "heal" as @Rainer's analogy quite rightly pointed out.

I don't really understand the hostility here, did I do something to you?

They're just words on a screen, you applied the "hostility".

I'd expect the exact same response had I just been diagnosed with congestive heart failure, then asked on a forum for the condition if I should still eat take away food, run marathons and lift weights competitively.

I'm sorry I was apparently so contradictory you needed to write a snarky response to it. I am not going to go to concerts without protection (nobody should anyway), and I specifically said living a life like I did pre 6 months ago, not pre tinnitus.

You either care or you don't care, it's really that simple.

Caring for, and/or treading cautiously with, your condition, doesn't mean spending the rest of your life having a nervous breakdown wrapped inside a ball of cotton wool.

Perhaps we just have a problem of semantics here, but it's not possible to say "fuck it" and be sensibly careful at the same time.

I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for my grave transgressions. If not, your energy is probably better spent not attacking random people on the internet for "funny points".

Not that I'm calling you conceited or anything, of course I respect the fact that you're the author of the thread, but you're also just the guy who asked the question on this occasion; a question that all of us have pondered at some time during our suffering, and that future generations of tinnitus sufferers will ponder also.

So while it might seem to you that all the love in my earlier post was just for you, I'm going to have to fess up to being a bit of a slag, in as much as that my advice was also being shared for the benefit of everyone reading it, now and in the future.

And while I always think it's a good idea to take a shot in the dark regarding the motive and/or character of someone you've never met over the internet in a potential forum battle, perhaps you should take a look at some of my previous posts on the subject of COVID-19 and the "vaccines"; then you might be able to gauge just how much I care about being "liked" and earning internet "funny points".

 

[GeorgeLG]

There are an estimated 50 million tinnitus sufferers in the US alone and under 40K registered on Tinnitus Talk worldwide. No doubt some suffer in silence and don't register here but even at 50% "under reporting", then only a fraction are here. I assume that the majority go on about their lives with only minor impact. I know about a dozen personally who report tinnitus and 100% say it's no big deal. No doubt that there is a distribution and some people really suffer as we read here often but I have to assume that it's the exception, not the rule, across the board. So statistically any given person with tinnitus probably can lead a reasonably normal life and for that majority, exposure to normal, healthy sound levels probably does not make their condition worse. For most of them they probably naturally did what the OP has suggested, with or without the F word part out loud. Lol.

My advice for a more cautious re-entry to test the waters first is based on the fact that the OP is here, has used words like terrified and has some reason to be more concerned than say my brother in law who says "oh that, ya had it since the army, I say oh there you are my old friend.", or @Beep Boop Bop dad who hasn't changed a thing. So as crazy as it may sound to many here, statistically the OP probably can say f&ck it and have no negative impact. Probably.

On the issue of the ears "healing," that's a really loaded topic. While it is generally believed that hair cells do not regenerate and they are in the ear proper, the total tinnitus experience involves more than hair cells and some tinnitus may not involve them at all. Many sufferers have normal hearing tests. As mentioned, the total CNS is involved as is your emotional brain centers. Plasticity or rewriting is possible. Reprioritization is possible. Stress, food, drugs can affect this. So many report the worst of this after a life event or maximum stress, many things that we can control. You have to have a wider view of "healing" to understand the entire tinnitus mechanism.

As far as getting dumped on in your thread, it's part of the experience here. People suffer and cope in many different ways. Don't take it personally, you're in the club now. Roll with it. There are more than enough here that will try to help you.

George

 

[Damocles]

As far as getting dumped on in your thread, it's part of the experience here. People suffer and cope in many different ways. Don't take it personally, you're in the club now. Roll with it. There are more than enough here that will try to help you.

He didn't get "dumped on" though, he got an answer to his question which he (apparently) didn't like.

You know, growing up, my grandmother on my mother's side was a stoic little Irish lady, and several times in her company while she was ironing, I betrayed (to her) a desire to touch the white hot surface of the iron while she wasn't attending it; because to me it resembled the bottom of a slice of pizza.



(Apply a child's imagination to this image, and perhaps it makes sense).

Anyway, she told me it would hurt if I touched it, but she didn't ram the point home, and so I touched it, and then I spent the rest of the day in agony and anger at the fact my grandmother had been right, and that she was able to give me a look that said "I told you so" while she nursed my hand with cold water.

The only difference here, is:

1) I won't get the benefit of anyone looking back fondly at the memory of my warning, and realising what a truly magnificent teacher and person I was.

and

2) The resulting agony won't be gone the next day, making the Pavlovian lesson worth it.

But I don't have all the answers @GeorgeLG. I'm still learning just like everyone else.

For example, what my short time on Tinnitus Talk has taught me, is that you won't receive any gratitude for being painfully honest. Better to be the guy who told your friend they had an amazing voice, than the one who flat out told them they couldn't sing, saving them from the fate of being immortalised in this way (it seems):

 

[CompostInTraining]

There are an estimated 50 million tinnitus sufferers in the US alone and under 40K registered on Tinnitus Talk worldwide. No doubt some suffer in silence and don't register here but even at 50% "under reporting", then only a fraction are here. I assume that the majority go on about their lives with only minor impact. I know about a dozen personally who report tinnitus and 100% say it's no big deal. No doubt that there is a distribution and some people really suffer as we read here often but I have to assume that it's the exception, not the rule, across the board. So statistically any given person with tinnitus probably can lead a reasonably normal life and for that majority, exposure to normal, healthy sound levels probably does not make their condition worse. For most of them they probably naturally did what the OP has suggested, with or without the F word part out loud. Lol.

My advice for a more cautious re-entry to test the waters first is based on the fact that the OP is here, has used words like terrified and has some reason to be more concerned than say my brother in law who says "oh that, ya had it since the army, I say oh there you are my old friend.", or @Beep Boop Bop dad who hasn't changed a thing. So as crazy as it may sound to many here, statistically the OP probably can say f&ck it and have no negative impact. Probably.

On the issue of the ears "healing," that's a really loaded topic. While it is generally believed that hair cells do not regenerate and they are in the ear proper, the total tinnitus experience involves more than hair cells and some tinnitus may not involve them at all. Many sufferers have normal hearing tests. As mentioned, the total CNS is involved as is your emotional brain centers. Plasticity or rewriting is possible. Reprioritization is possible. Stress, food, drugs can affect this. So many report the worst of this after a life event or maximum stress, many things that we can control. You have to have a wider view of "healing" to understand the entire tinnitus mechanism.

As far as getting dumped on in your thread, it's part of the experience here. People suffer and cope in many different ways. Don't take it personally, you're in the club now. Roll with it. There are more than enough here that will try to help you.

George

Appreciate the response again. In my case at least the only healing to be done is emotional. Stress and anxiety put me in this mess and the only way out is to manage those.

I fully expected pushback but god some people are so bitter. It's like I told them I was going to drag them with me to the next metal concert. I specifically outlined what I meant and what "not caring" looked like for me and none of it involved me pretending tinnitus didn't exist or being reckless. Regardless you're right, tinnitus can drive you mad and I'm sure can make you bitter. I hope we all find true relief from this soon.

 

[GeorgeLG]

@Damocles, nothing wrong with the truth, I'm a big fan. Truth can be knowledge or enlightenment but truth can also be pain with no benefit.

Is the OP thrashing a little trying to right the ship and find some direction? Sure, but who among us has not at some point when shit gets real? You are very passionate, write well and have a lot of energy for the cause and you can be quite compassionate but we are not helping people who are suffering when we get out the flame thrower and parse a struggling person's words.

I like it when you lift someone up from their despair, I think it helps them a lot. Light, not darkness man.

I will be learning until the day I die. On this we completely agree and are brothers for the cause.

George

 

[Uklawyer]

@Damocles, careless does not equal reckless. It means that you do not give attention to your thinking/feelings about something. For me, that means being neutral or unfazed in the presence of the tinnitus. But in a practical sense, it is wise, if you have hyperacusis or noise-induced tinnitus, to take reasonable precautions to enable preferable conditions for recovery.

Not caring in this sense is a great approach, but it is hard to reconcile that with taking certain precautions.

 

[Uklawyer]

My dad is like this and it scares the shit out of me. He literally doesn't care about his diabetes, tinnitus, chronic pain, etc etc. He point blank refuses to modify his lifestyle - "want to enjoy myself while I can". He is so damaged, while at the same time indestructible. It's crazy.

He lives a completely normal life and seems genuinely happy, so who am I to judge. Some people are just hardwired differently.

He sounds like a fucking legend. In my next life, I am gonna say "fuck it" and actually live. Hard and fast. Then if I die early, no regrets...

 

[CompostInTraining]

He didn't get "dumped on" though, he got an answer to his question which he (apparently) didn't like.

You know, growing up, my grandmother on my mother's side was a stoic little Irish lady, and several times in her company while she was ironing, I betrayed (to her) a desire to touch the white hot surface of the iron while she wasn't attending it; because to me it resembled the bottom of a slice of pizza.

View attachment 48739

(Apply a child's imagination to this image, and perhaps it makes sense).

Anyway, she told me it would hurt if I touched it, but she didn't ram the point home, and so I touched it, and then I spent the rest of the day in agony and anger at the fact my grandmother had been right, and that she was able to give me a look that said "I told you so" while she nursed my hand with cold water.

The only difference here, is:

1) I won't get the benefit of anyone looking back fondly at the memory of my warning, and realising what a truly magnificent teacher and person I was.

and

2) The resulting agony won't be gone the next day, making the Pavlovian lesson worth it.

But I don't have all the answers @GeorgeLG. I'm still learning just like everyone else.

For example, what my short time on Tinnitus Talk has taught me, is that you won't receive any gratitude for being painfully honest. Better to be the guy who told your friend they had an amazing voice, than the one who flat out told them they couldn't sing, saving them from the fate of being immortalised in this way (it seems):

The "answer" you gave me wasn't the problem. Most of the thread has expressed they think it's potentially a bad idea. My issue was that you twisted what I said to mean something else entirely and that rather than give me advice or opinion on what I was actually asking instead got into a linguistic tirade. One where you glossed over the very specific things I said about what "not caring" looked like for me and where I, again very specifically, said I wanted to live like I did 6 months prior not prior to having tinnitus.

But whatever, I can't blame you for being bitter and I don't intend to drag you along with me if I choose to simply let go of my fear, at least a little bit.

 

[Damocles]

My issue was that you twisted what I said to mean something else entirely and that rather than give me advice or opinion on what I was actually asking instead got into a linguistic tirade. One where you glossed over the very specific things I said about what "not caring" looked like for me and where I, again very specifically, said I wanted to live like I did 6 months prior not prior to having tinnitus.

Fair enough. Admittedly I didn't read your full post at the top of the page (until just now).

That's the second time I did that today ((☞▀ ͜͞ʖ▀)☞ @Stacken77 knows!).

Just do everything I used to do 6 months ago. Listen to music again, read in silence, watch movies and shows without caring if the volume is slightly too high, stop checking it every damn second.

That all actually sounds entirely reasonable (except for maybe the TV volume part).

And to be honest that ▲ and these ▼, feel like they could have been found in entirely separate threads.

How Bad of an Idea Is It to Just Stop Caring and Pretend I Don't Have Tinnitus Anymore?

I want to just say fuck it and stop caring.

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I don't intend to drag you along with me if I choose to simply let go of my fear, at least a little bit.

And I appreciate that, as I have no desire or intention of ever letting go of my fear.

It kept every one of my ancestors alive over (roughly) 6 million years, and is the only reason I exist today.

 

[makeyourownluck]

He sounds like a fucking legend. In my next life, I am gonna say "fuck it" and actually live. Hard and fast. Then if I die early, no regrets...

Yeah, he's been through a lot. I have no idea how he manages, but he does. He says his tinnitus is the same as it was 25 years ago and he rarely hears it.

The thing is though, I can't be certain that I will be as lucky as him. I'm a worrier by nature and have always suffered anxiety, he is the opposite and has always has been extremely confident in every area of life. We cannot fight our nature.

The "answer" you gave me wasn't the problem. Most of the thread has expressed they think it's potentially a bad idea. My issue was that you twisted what I said to mean something else entirely and that rather than give me advice or opinion on what I was actually asking instead got into a linguistic tirade. One where you glossed over the very specific things I said about what "not caring" looked like for me and where I, again very specifically, said I wanted to live like I did 6 months prior not prior to having tinnitus.

I honestly don't think Damocles has meant to upset you, it's just his style. He strikes me as a person who is really passionate about what he writes and sometimes it comes off a bit strong - 'linguistic tirade'. In his own way he is just trying to warn you, he doesn't want your tinnitus to get as bad as his.

Have a look around the site, all his posts have a similar tone, and are always heavily referenced. I don't know him personally, but I've been on the forum for over half a year now, and yeah, its not personal.

I hope you find the right balance of being careful but also enjoying life. I believe a balance can be found. Me personally, I would wear ear plugs in loud places (including in city traffic) and keep all music etc under 70 dB (no headphones!). These are just suggestions though...

 

[CompostInTraining]

Yeah, he's been through a lot. I have no idea how he manages, but he does. He says his tinnitus is the same as it was 25 years ago and he rarely hears it.

The thing is though, I can't be certain that I will be as lucky as him. I'm a worrier by nature and have always suffered anxiety, he is the opposite and has always has been extremely confident in every area of life. We cannot fight our nature.

I honestly don't think Damocles has meant to upset you, it's just his style. He strikes me as a person who is really passionate about what he writes and sometimes it comes off a bit strong - 'linguistic tirade'. In his own way he is just trying to warn you, he doesn't want your tinnitus to get as bad as his.

Have a look around the site, all his posts have a similar tone, and are always heavily referenced. I don't know him personally, but I've been on the forum for over half a year now, and yeah, its not personal.

I hope you find the right balance of being careful but also enjoying life. I believe a balance can be found. Me personally, I would wear ear plugs in loud places (including in city traffic) and keep all music etc under 70 dB (no headphones!). These are just suggestions though...

Fair enough.

Fair enough. Admittedly I didn't read your full post at the top of the page (until just now).

That's the second time I did that today ((☞▀ ͜͞ʖ▀)☞ @Stacken77 knows!).

That all actually sounds entirely reasonable (except for maybe the TV volume part).

And to be honest that ▲ and these ▼, feel like they could have been found in entirely separate threads.


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And I appreciate that, as I have no desire or intention of ever letting go of my fear.

It kept every one of my ancestors alive over (roughly) 6 million years, and is the only reason I exist today.

Fair enough. Apparently I did quite literally say "pretend I don't have tinnitus" anyway.

Regardless I'm sorry for being sensitive, I appreciate the warning but I don't expect anything I do could actually make things worse (aside from perhaps having another mental health crisis in the process). I don't intend on being reckless in my carelessness.

 

[Damocles]

I honestly don't think Damocles has meant to upset you, it's just his style. He strikes me as a person who is really passionate about what he writes and sometimes it comes off a bit strong

Thank you for the kind words, and the benefit of the doubt, @makeyourownluck.

This is the second time you've mediated on my behalf; the last time also involving @GeorgeLG, but on this occasion as a mediator himself, rather than the bearer of my "tirade".

I appreciate the warning but I don't expect anything I do could actually make things worse (aside from perhaps having another mental health crisis in the process). I don't intend on being reckless in my carelessness.

Please do accept my apology. I've been careless (too soon?) today, and twice presumed to understand the subject matter I was commenting on, without fully taking the time to read it.

If I had actually read your initial post, I believe this dispute would never have begun.

My belief still stands that I think this condition should always be treated with due reverence, but (again, had I not just read the headline) I would have been far more diplomatic and made it clear I was not criticising your question or plans.

 

[Watasha]

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear that. I had a lot of trouble sleeping when this relapse (?) first happened. I actually ended up in a psyche ward because of it. What really helped me was Mirtazapine. Basically the first dose I was back to sleeping again.

It is so upsetting how quickly years and years of habitation can just crumble to nothing and you have to crawl back up from it. I know you will though, I don't know how long but you'll get there again.

@Magwell, @CompostInTraining, I am actually dealing with the same thing.

After about one year, I was largely habituated to reaction and that lasted for about another 2.5 years (never really noticed habituation of perception). Now after a period of intense personal stress and depression, it's either gotten worse or my habituation has broken and I am back to the despair of the beginning. There's little doubt mine has slowly gotten louder over time, but my ability to cope always kept up. It doesn't seem THAT much louder, but it's like now I hear it everywhere whereas before a month ago, I don't have much a memory hearing it anywhere except on a quiet walk, but when I plug my ears it doesn't seem to be that much louder. So who knows.

Hopefully we can all recover, but I know the CBT specialists will tell us to live as normal a life as possible while taking reasonable precautions that anyone should take regarding protection. Prayers for us all.

 

[CompostInTraining]

Side note, has anyone tried Buspar and had any luck? My GAD is out of control, unrelated to tinnitus (mostly), but I can't really find anyone whose taken it with tinnitus.

 

[Luman]

I did not answer the poll, because I would choose both options:

1. Fake it till you make it
2. Take it safe and slow and wait for habituation/don't make it worse

I don't see why anybody could not do both of these, they are similar, and in fact that would be what I would describe as my own experience.

I have had tinnitus for 4.5 years and it's the intermittent type which is harder to habituate to, or so I've been told. I worked hard to neutralize my reaction, and this was very effective.

Statistically, as somebody mentioned earlier, there are 40K registered membership here, which is worldwide, a number which is minuscule compared to the amount of cases in the United States alone, which is estimated to be 50 million. The reason for this, I believe, is that the majority of people with tinnitus of all levels and types, are simply not bothered by it very much, if at all, and probably didn't have to habituate. They are lucky, but most of us who were not, can and do adapt to effectively dealing with it as well, through habituation and caution as to prevent more hearing damage and/or tinnitus.

 

[Shelbylynn]

You know your tinnitus by now, yea? You have had it for many years. Are you positive that your loss of habituation is not from your tinnitus worsening?

I don't know. This forum definitely contributed to my fear of sounds, though some of it had to do with my actual experiencing a life changing worsening from sound just 5 weeks into this whole mess.

I've been seesawing back and forth from avoiding sound to going back to normal life for the past 15 or so months now. I'm in the same state of mind you are with the whole thing. It's quite a predicament.

I'm going to have to agree here, and I admit I have been considering this take more. I think the important thing to note in what @kingsfan said is that "you know your tinnitus".

Tinnitus is such an individual thing I've realized, just look up any medication or any activity on this forum, so many anecdotally contradictory experiences pop up. Ultimately we all have our own sounds in our heads and whether those sounds get worse with a knife dropping or if something much louder happens is all dependent on our bodies and variables we don't even have access or awareness of. I think the best indicator is likely our own experiences with our specific tinnitus, though the tricky thing is, is that it's subject to change over our lifetimes.

So will you get worse? No one can be sure. I think it's the question we all ask ourselves whether we decide to be hypervigilant or not.

I myself don't really know my own boundaries with my moderate tinnitus. I don't know what makes it worse or better. Sometimes it's quieter than other times, but I honestly can't draw a straight cause an effect to explain the times when it is more bothersome. I've been around loud accidents (fireworks, train, car accident, fire alarms) and it didn't spike. Of course I have anxiety and other mental issues PRE tinnitus so my personality is disposed to rumination, obsession, neuroticism etc. So a condition like this is difficult for me to ignore and I have a lot of fear of worsening. Though I've realized my fear has been based mainly on others experiences that Ive internalized and obsessed on and not my own. I'm trying to be cautious and take the productive and helpful things I've learned here and implement them in my life in a safe way. I'm trying to realize I have my own tinnitus and my own experience and I need to learn my own rather than prescribe myself others tinnitus.

I want to challenge myself eventually to slowly see what I specifically am capable of doing (within reason - tinnitus people reason, not normal people reason). All with exceeding caution of course and hearing protection (I'm not thinking concerts or anything I just don't want to be so isolated anymore - I've been a nervous wreck over the smallest things).

If that's what you're thinking of doing then I think that's fine. Just use some good sense when putting yourself in louder environments. give yourself time. Give yourself grace and patience. And don't rush yourself into a place of "I'm better, I'm healed." because it sounds more rather that you are fed up with your emotional state over this rather than the physical symptoms, correct me if I'm wrong. That kind of thing, internal or whatever, is going to take time to deal with. But yeah, not being obsessive and hypervigilant is probably a good thing for most people mentally.

**I have mentioned on this forum before that I have a brother and step father both with tinnitus. They still live their lives the same. Sometimes their tinnitus bothers them they mentioned to me (louder more intrusive at times). But they find ways to cope I suppose because I don't see them alter their lifestyle. They don't really understand my hypervigilance (however I have a personality prone to it). I assume they don't get drastically worse so far. It's been years for both having 15+. Their experience may not be mine or yours so we should all be weary of following anyone else's lifestyle with tinnitus but it is theirs.

 

[Juan]

I just want to be able to go to a damn store without having a panic attack.

To me the weird thing is that supermarkets nowadays have loud music even at the parking lots and underground parking. It is just ridiculous and totally unnecessary...

 

[Rainer]

I don't really understand the hostility here

I don't see @Damocles's comment as hostile, just exasperated. Likely coming from somebody who does not want to say "told ya so" when it's too late.

BTW, there are many shades of grey between "living as a hermit" and "stop caring."

Personally, I'm using Peltors to do the dishes, noise cancelling headphones when venturing outside for shopping, monitoring the volume when listening to music and using an audio limiter while watching movies.

That's but one shade of grey. After one year, I'm slowly getting better, even if you are correct in that the ears "don't heal" (I do not know that).

 

[Robert Logan]

This is an interesting thread, and I've been helped by reading the discussion. I understand what @CompostInTraining means, both becuause the tinnitus I have going on got worse after unavoidable sound accidents even though I tried to be as careful as possible, and because "not caring" works better than anything else.

But in my case, the "not caring" is "not caring" about my new limitations. For example: I was watching a film - very quietly, I must say - with my wife and our foster son. Even that caused an unbearable spike (the tinnitus doesn't always do that; it constantly varies and other days I can listen to certain things on speakers.) In that moment I started crashing internally, thinking that life is over. What is this life - I can't even engage with things everyone else can! But then I thought: who cares if I can't watch a movie? Why get even more depressed about that on top of the spike? I went for a walk instead.

I'm not saying it is wrong to be upset about what tinnitus can do to us. Of course it is very upsetting. At the same time, accepting limitations and choosing to be thankful for what is still possible (being able to write, like this post, for example) seems a better way forward than falling into panic about what we can't do. Most people I know with tinnitus can still do most of the things they did before. These limitations don't apply to most cases of tinnitus. However, the tinnitus I experience worsened after what seemed like some fairly brief and not THAT loud sound exposures, and medication, so unfortunately I do have to be more careful than others. The choice is to live or die, and because of my faith and view of life, I choose to live.

I can't really watch movies, listen to music, or go to many places without wearing ear protection anymore, and that is upsetting - but I have found it more helpful to say "who cares" and "it is what it is" about those things. If I allow myself to delve into all that is lost thoughts and feelings get dark fast. Cinemas are over, concerts are over, and many other things for now - that's a shame, but it is what it is. Why define that as "not a life"? I read people say that this is "no longer a life", and that view can bring on dark depression. It is a life, even if it isn't life as it was before. I can still talk to and encourage people, at least, can still write, can still read in short burts, can still walk, can still exercise, can still hear without hearing aids, am not in other pain. Most of the things missing most humans didn't enjoy for most of their history anyway (amplified sound, loud shopping centres, bars with pumping music, electronic entertainment), so I guess my company is a majority. :-D

Now if I could only solve sleep and finding a job that allows for wild sleep patterns and sound sensitivity!

 

[GeorgeLG]

This thread really has become interesting. I think what makes tinnitus so unique is that this is not one condition and it is a two part process.

First phantom sounds and possibly sensitivities arrive which are wildly variable.

Most of us then pursue some forms of physical "treatment". There are thousands of posts about supplements, steroids and the like.

Then there is how we react to what has happened, how we deal with it, how we process it. Some people are wired with an "oh that, ya no big deal" bias or "shit happens" or "whatever, I have things to do" and some people lock on to the new situation with laser beam focus and intensity. They simply cannot unhear what has arrived. The very term intrusive, used by some and not others illustrates this. This difference in processing is not good or bad, as a matter of fact as an engineer I can tell you that no engineer without a little OCD is worth a shit - it's almost a professional imperative like with research scientists. My company helped put men on the moon. You don't cure polio without an obsessive attention to detail. The mother that can hear a change is a babies breathing in another room might save a life. That trait however may not be the best tool for this problem.

There is a definite pattern here in this forum of people with a hyper attention to the new sounds and frequently descriptions of tendencies towards panic attacks, depression, catastrophic what if thinking and the like. Some people say oh thank goodness that's gone and I don't think about this anymore and some people go into a quiet room to look for it if it starts going away. No judgement, I suffered from severe pains attacks in the 90's and I can hyperfocus on details like a junk yard dog on an intruder. These are observations not criticisms. I have lived and suffered through all of this and triumphed over much of it. BTW, part of my journey over the last few decades was to explore control issues which can apply here. A new problem arrives that we probably have no control over and initial attempts at physical control are disappointing. Acceptance and coming to peace with it then working within ourselves to reduce its impact requires a certain acknowledgement of no initial control which is hard for some people. In the old throw away line "lead follow or get the F out of the way", any one of us can be any of those three people.

I think that part of why this subject gets so emotional is because most of us realize this difference in reaction or processing and hence our role in our own outcome even if it's sub conscience and there are elements of frustration or defensiveness when confronted with the fact that the entire experience while maybe having nothing to do with our personalities at the onset does have something to do with our personalities in the total experience. Some get pissed off and angry at success stories, some say I wish I was more like my dad and some never come here because they pretty much ignored it from the get go.

My dad was a tough veteran of WWII and the Korean War and was a carpenter by trade and was as tough as "nails". He had two massive cancer surgeries in his 80's, the last one at 87. Three doctors, 8 hours, a bunch of stuff removed. He lived another 5 years until he was 92 never complaining about any of it. After he woke up from his second surgery we had half the extended family in his room, it was like a giant family re-union. The doctor came in and looked at the morphine pump and said Mr G, you haven't used your pain medicine even once, how are you feeling? He said, I don't want any of that shit. The doctor said why. He said, I don't get my whole family around like this very often and I don't want to miss one minute of the bullshit. The doctor took me out in the hall and said they literally don't make them like your father any more. We get 25-year-old football players in here that won't even get out of the bed to go to the bathroom and your dad rips his tubes out to walk around the hospital floor (first surgery). My dad probably had tinnitus from 75 years of war weapons and unprotected power tools but he never once mentioned Turmeric. Lol (you know who you are, lol.)

I am both of these things, I am tough like my father and I am an engineer so I am prone to hyperfocus on details. My journey has been a mix of all these things in stages.

After being here for almost a year and reading thousands of posts you see this multi part phenomenon. Supplements alone have enough posts to fill a football stadium and then there are the posts about "Back to Silence" and the like which is a collection of teaching, hope and severe anger and hostility

In the end I think that we all have to find our own way to make peace with what has happened, go through our own journey of "treatments" and then work our way through how we will process this both now and in the future. If sounds cause pain or worsening then everyone has to find their own pace and intensity. The question is, how much reactivity is something physical and how much is our fear of something physical happening and how aggressive or relaxed should we be? The "fuck it" question and this whole thread is that struggle being laid bare for all to see. I think things like "Back to Silence" are techniques that people are trying to share that help those who have a natural tendency to obsess about this to be able to get the outcome that comes so naturally for people like my father and other fathers written about here in this thread. It's like stress. Some people are just naturally chill and never get ulcers. Others benefit from being taught relaxation exercises. Both people meet the same life stressors but one needs some training to learn how to cope and get a better life outcome. And during all of this, various "treatments" will help some and not others so that's also a personal journey of discovery.

George

 

[makeyourownluck]

To me the weird thing is that supermarkets nowadays have loud music even at the parking lots and underground parking. It is just ridiculous and totally unnecessary...

Yes, absolutely ridiculous how loud they are. My local Tesco is an absolute joke, and it's the same crap music 24/7. My partner does the weekly shop these days.

 

[Juan]

What is this life - I can't even engage with things everyone else can! But then I thought: who cares if I can't watch a movie? Why get even more depressed about that on top of the spike? I went for a walk instead.

I'm not saying it is wrong to be upset about what tinnitus can do to us. Of course it is very upsetting. At the same time, accepting limitations and choosing to be thankful for what is still possible (being able to write, like this post, for example) seems a better way forward than falling into panic about what we can't do. Most people I know with tinnitus can still do most of the things they did before.

I think that's the right attitude: focusing on what we can do and enjoy.

Also, we are too tough on ourselves, but if we saw others in trouble, with health issues etc as outsiders, we would think they are just pretty normal people, like everyone else, with their problems and limitations. So we are just like anyone else...

 

[Magwell]

@CompostInTraining, how are you doing?

I tried Mirtazapine but it made my tinnitus spike as do most ADs so I was afraid to take it again.

Did Mirtazapine affect you tinnitus?

I agree how quickly you can lose control of everything again. It's like starting over. I also have added hyperacusis which makes my tinnitus very reactive to everything.

Thanks for the words of confidence.

I have resorted to Lorazepam to help me sleep but I fear with so much anxiety that I am making things worse.

I know you will get there too.

Have you used benzos?

 

[CompostInTraining]

@CompostInTraining, how are you doing?

I tried Mirtazapine but it made my tinnitus spike as do most ADs so I was afraid to take it again.

Did Mirtazapine affect you tinnitus?

I agree how quickly you can lose control of everything again. It's like starting over. I also have added hyperacusis which makes my tinnitus very reactive to everything.

Thanks for the words of confidence.

I have resorted to Lorazepam to help me sleep but I fear with so much anxiety that I am making things worse.

I know you will get there too.

Have you used benzos?

Mirtazapine is probably what got me through the worst of it. I wasn't able to sleep at all before starting it. It lets me sleeep when I want to sleep. It hasn't had any effect one way or another on my perceived loudness that I'm aware of. I started at 7.5 mg and over the next month or so went up to 30mg. I noticed no difference in effectiveness from 15 to 30 mg.

I use benzos only during panic attacks but I'm trying hard to not use them at all. Struggling with that still.

 

[hears4fears]

There's a threshold at which this isn't possible.

 

[DeanD]

This is a really good thread and got me seriously thinking today.

My profile posts will explain some of the crap I've been through recently. I thought I was so close to the edge that I started pulling in my investments and sending them to family members.

After some, what felt quite serious, physical ailments I began focusing on these predominantly and not my severe sound reactive tinnitus.

The physical ailments subsided after a month and I was able to regain eating again after a week (bliss!) and I felt in a better place overall - the tinnitus was less reactive, and I was headed back to work next week after 5 months.

I decided custom molded earplugs were a good option, but the syringing of putty inside the ear canal, despite being quiet, has really increased the pitch of my tinnitus (something upteen visits back and forth to loud hospitals hadn't done) and am now back to bedbound wanting to give up on the world.

I'm partly wanting to lie here and wallow, and I partly want to say fuck it and start doing things again (to an extent).

I had tinnitus for years and years (moderate and stable) and did everything loud without earplugs - just like my father. It never bothered us.

Focusing and worrying about other physical symptoms took focus from tinnitus, but now that the other physical symptoms have mostly subsided I'm back focusing on my tinnitus again.

Horror stories on here are really why I hid and played it safe in the first place against the advice of audiologists, ENTs (although, in fairness, my ENT did say to keep protecting as there could still be healing) and family.

I have sound reactive tinnitus, tinnitus that can and has got worse through loud noises (and a custom earplug fitting apparently) and maybe hyperacusis (although only internal sounds sound too loud, like ear crackling, not external sounds).

So - I'm still sitting on the fence.

I'm 60/40 of going back out and meeting friends at quiet bars, dating, working and moving out of family in to my own place.

I know I can't have my whole life back, I just want some.

Surely mentally, if there was some positive brain healing to be done, doing things positively has to aid it, but that BIG damn 'what if' question still haunts me.

If not, as my parents keep telling me, I'll stay as a recluse, lie in bed moping and end up in a psyche ward.

I wonder how the OP, @CompostInTraining, is getting on - and also whether his tinnitus is sound reactive, or has hyperacusis, as I think this whole thread has a different slant when either of these two conditions are involved.

 

[Chronumbra]

It's probably different for everyone, but everyone should practice good hearing health regardless of whether or not you have tinnitus. Enjoy the sounds of the world, but it's not a good idea for anyone to attend loud concerts, use powertools, or work in factories without proper hearing protection.

I am in the camp that feels that overprotection is not an effective way to deal with tinnitus. Desensitization, masking, reduced auditory attention all seem to be the only things that make tinnitus better for me while protecting my ears only results in more anxiety, spikes, and regression in symptoms. Then you have those who say the opposite has been true for them, which reminds me how individual all of this can be.

There are so many things that humans force and coerce eachother into doing that are objectively damaging to the healthiest set of ears, but it isn't taken seriously. Even if you have tinnitus, you should be okay to enjoy normal sound after allowing your injury (if present) to settle. But much of what we're asked to expose ourselves to every day is not normal, even if society says it is.

 

[DeanD]

It's probably different for everyone, but everyone should practice good hearing health regardless of whether or not you have tinnitus. Enjoy the sounds of the world, but it's not a good idea for anyone to attend loud concerts, use powertools, or work in factories without proper hearing protection.

I am in the camp that feels that overprotection is not an effective way to deal with tinnitus. Desensitization, masking, reduced auditory attention all seem to be the only things that make tinnitus better for me while protecting my ears only results in more anxiety, spikes, and regression in symptoms. Then you have those who say the opposite has been true for them, which reminds me how individual all of this can be.

There are so many things that humans force and coerce eachother into doing that are objectively damaging to the healthiest set of ears, but it isn't taken seriously. Even if you have tinnitus, you should be okay to enjoy normal sound after allowing your injury (if present) to settle. But much of what we're asked to expose ourselves to every day is not normal, even if society says it is.

I agree, and absolutely concerts and nightclubs should be the last things on wish lists with bad tinnitus.

Do you have sound reactive tinnitus or hyperacusis, or would you say your tinnitus is relatively stable?