How Come I Feel So Depressed...

[Alek]

My friends,

I read the success stories and the writers mention how it gets better and that they have habituated, that they went though the depression and anxiety along with coping with suicial thoughts but they do not mention anything about the lack of energy that zaps the body with regards to aquiring tinnitus.

My friends since acquiring tinnitus I have been DEAD tired and still to this day my energy is not even close to what it once was. It has been 9 months since onset for me. The further the days go past since onset the further I look back at how once life was and how it is now, low energy, lack of interest, and much more withdrawn than on the attack, [not to mention fairly constant and regluar depression and anxiety]

Im not one to complain but facts are facts and the these are awful things to deal with that I wish on no one.

How do you deal with this in your life? Its hard to see a positive future with regards to a rich and vibrant life where there is energy and joy let alone burning ambition to succeed for the fact that the past 9 months have been miserable.

Before tinnitus it seemed that the world was not enough, now a single day can be too much to handle.

Thank you all for your time

 

[Mike82]

Heja Alek.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so lethargic. Perhaps there are other potential medical issues worth discussing with your doctor?

I've been suffering with really noticeable tinnitus for about nine months myself. I do all the same things I used to do... I just do it with loud ringing in my ears.

Tinnitus sucks, and I've thought about it pretty much every day for the past nine months, but so far I haven't figured out any other way to deal with out to simply get on with life.

At any rate, I hope you feel much better soon. Which part of the world are you in, out of interest?

Mike

 

[Quentino]

but they do not mention anything about the lack of energy that zaps the body with regards to aquiring tinnitus.

It's a symptom of depression.

2 month after T onset, i began taking antiD. Worked well pretty quickly! It helped me habituate faster.
I've stopped it totally one week ago and i feel i'm the person i was before, a little different yes but mostly the same.

Don't stay at home and make activitties you love.

 

[RicoS]

9 months is not even that long .... for me it took more than a year to get used to it. I was masking like crazy and could not accept that I have it.... I was fighting it like crazy. Anxiety was through the roof...and for some reason after a year from one day upon another I woke up and I just could not care anymore......
I had a major setback 6 months later, but that was not regarding T.
No I'm recovering from a depression and have again major anxiety issues which made T an issue in my brain again.
But I know I can habituat again so that gives me some relief. Don't time your recovery....some habituat in a week ...others in 3 months ...others in 2 years ....and even others after 5 years.

If you have severe T it is a total different story of course. But when you can not deal with it ...in your mind you think you have the worst T ever even when it is a low volume sound. You hear it and you do not want to ....the more you focused on it the more you hear it. If you try not to hear it you are still busy with it.... so letting go is the hard part.
Do not try to force it that much and have trust that it will be all right in the end.

 

[Martin69]

@Alek
A chronic disease that bothers you 24/7, brings many people into depression. Same for me, I was never depressed or anxious in my life. My T is catastrophic and every day is a battle. My energy is near zero. Nevertheless I decided to at least do something for my energy level, which is eating healthier, taking vitamines, doing some sport (even if it is only 20 minutes). I hope that this nightmare will end one day. But until then, try to live every day as best as you can, as difficult as it is.

 

[billie48]

I was so deprived of energy and scared of the outside world and its many noises that my body told me to stay in bed and my room (except working hours) for many months. Daily relentless anxiety and panic attacks triggered by T & H added to the sufferings, not to say inevitable depression and sleeplessness. I had to depend on meds to just survive. In the first year, it was very hard to do anything or to be interested in things, because the mind was telling me there was no way out of the mess and that T was the end game. How to have any motivation and energy when you feel so doomed? But after getting support in the forum and being aware of some T veterans able to survive their initial struggles to live a normal life again, I began to have some hope. I started to challenge myself and my body. Positive self talks and constant positive affirmations slowly turned the tide and I began to dare my T & H to pull myself out to reclaim my life. I remember feeling so spaced and dizzy and exhausted trying to do some garden works and had to rest often. Going back fishing was hard as it required at least one hour of driving to the salmon rivers, and fishing with an ipod constantly masking (partially with low volume due to my H) while I fished some quiet stretch of the river. It was so weir that I often thought of 'what is the point?'. Was I enjoying or suffering? Here I was trying to enjoy myself and there I was so afraid of the driving noise and the T in a quiet setting. Well, sometimes I just moved closer to the rapids so I could get some natural masking while the volume didn't hurt as bad for the H.

It took a determined effort to do 'finding joy amid the pain' in order to reclaim my life. At least I was winning the psychological battle. Each person will have to find the inner drive and resolve to battle T in their own acceptable way. Take it one event at a time, one day at a time. Time is on our side. Your 'D Day' against T tyranny will arrive one day. The body has the ability to get used to things, even some unpleasant sensation, if you don't emotionally oppose it. I like to compare to my experience of acquiring the taste for spicy food. At the beginning my tongue couldn't take 1 bite of spicy food without feeling the uncomfortable burning sensations. But I said if others can enjoy spicy foods, why not me? So I kept at it. Now I can bite a raw hot pepper and no sweat. Somehow, by keep on telling the brain that spicy food is great, that stupid brain of mine now agrees and it even gives me a pleasant sensation.

Perhaps we can learn to accept this harsh T sensation, or at least the reality of T in our life, if slowly. This is where the technique of Mindfulness can help, by creating the space in your awareness to gradually accept the presence of unpleasant sensations. It takes time. It takes effort. Hopefully there will come a time your body will begin to accept that and then you can move ahead more boldly to reclaim your life when the anxiety and depression slowly lift.

 

[Cheza]

My resting energy level is about 50% from where it used to be. That is, on an emotional level, I feel very little motivation to do anything. However, once I start moving, the energy begins to flow a bit and I can get things done. It's a battle every day to get myself in gear, because the noise just sucks the life out of me sometimes.

Even when I have good days, I'm still tired from the bad days that preceded it.

 

[Carlos1]

@Alek
Alek it will be 2 years next month for me and only in the last few months have I gotten back to my running I use to be a long distance runner before T after T all I did was try to survive each day. I posted here and people here helped me through those dark days T sucks and it drains the life out of you but you'll slowly start living again. I hate having T it changed who I am ........ I'm still learning to live with it and you will too hang in there man.

 

[Martin69]

@billie48
Hey Billie,

Your words are always encouraging and very valueable for this board and every sufferer.
I guess we have similar T, ultra-high and drilling in our heads. Compared to the beginning, my reaction is better, my anxiety and depression is better. Remember I come from months and months of "non-stop fight or flight mode". Like today where I slept long (vacation time), went to the golf driving range, was then swimming with my kids, went for dinner with my family and afterwards had a walk with my wife. Everything like it would be without T.

Nevertheless living with this dog whistle in my head is highly unpleasant. I do not feel balanced, relaxed, there are still situations I avoid or fear. Things must further improve. Of course one can live with the loudest T, but quality of life must be there, too. It is still somehow more "coping" than living.

Don't get me wrong. I am better than in the beginning. But it is still tough living and functioning with catatstrophic T.

Thanks for being with us.

 

[Mark L]

@Alek I feel your pain. my friends miss who i was. so do I.

I am so jealous of those on here that seem to be coping. I know I am not. But I am trying, I suppose its a start.

 

[billie48]

@Martin69
Hi Martin, I am so glad you are improving, if slowly. You are on the right track, striving to live your life and enjoying time with the family. It feels surreal in those days I was like you, going through the motion a lot of time while with the family and with the T blasting away. I tried to enjoy but T was always trying to inform you of its presence. However, time is a magic healer, be it on different time frame for different people. The body will at a certain point get so used to the T sensation, and since nothing bad happens and life goes on, the brain will slowly accept the presence of the T ringing without distress and fear. Then it will gradually be able to phase T in the background when the brain is busily occupied.

It takes time. But time is on our side. As long as we do not emotionally and painfully resist the reality of T, the brain will likely get less and less distressed by the T signal and probably new neural pathway will be formed to process the T sound signal. That is when the D Day against T tyranny will become a reality eventually. Take all the positives in life and do not feed more negative affirmation about T and its power, and it will slowly lose its ability to create depression and anxiety. Take good care and God bless.

 

[billie48]

@Mark L , don't worry about getting habituated so fast. Your T is very new. Those of us who have gotten better have T much longer and the body has slowly hardened to the T ringing. Time plus some effective strategy will likely turn things around. So be patient. Hang in there. Things will get better. Make sure you read up this TT thread to get some tips how to live with T as a new T person. It also has masking sounds so you will not get so stressed out by T ringing.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/panic/

 

[nike_madness]

My heart goes out to all suffering from T./Depression. Some of you that have had this for many months or years, you guys are incredibly brave! I'm Bipolar myself, and Schizoaffective, I know how it feels.. being on the right medications is key, though. My old psychiatrist would always say 'take you medication religiously'
My T. only seemed to last about a week and a half maybe, I still dunno how I got it, that's why I see an Audiologist tomorrow. Anyways, those with depression, I know that pain, but it does get better in time.