Hey
@Wendy A, so sorry to hear you're having a hard time of things right now. I am only at month 9 with intrusive T, but I remember how much worse the initial days were. I'm still far from having this all "under control" but I'm doing better than I was....
In June, I drove from Virginia all the way to Colorado for my cousin's wedding. In the weeks before this trip, I was feeling exactly how you are.....nervous, anxious, feeling like I won't be able to enjoy the trip at all, but I was totally wrong. Were there times when my T came to mind? Yes. Were there times when I got down on myself about all of it? Yes. Did the good times on that vacation outweigh the bad? YES!
I understand how you're feeling right now, I really do. It's hard to imagine going out and enjoying anything with T at first, but it's still possible! Getting out of town and going for a change of scenery could do a lot of good for your mindset right now!
I'll also say, that for me personally, going on that trip helped me realize that I can still go out and live a life. There are still good times out there, and there are still lots of things to smile about!
I understand how difficult it is to realize this, I really really do. I still have my bad days, but things will keep getting better, and I really think a trip could help speed up the process....
Let us know how it goes! You're going to have a great time!
Hang in there!
-Steve