How Do You Guys Cope with Regret?

[wags]

I've spent a lot of my adult life trying to have more acceptance, it's one of the most difficult things I've tried to achieve. Maybe the silver lining of this tinnitus is to help me increase that skill.

This has been a takeaway for me as well. Having tinnitus really changes your outlook on life. Once you get past the fear and anxiety and realize that you need to start putting forth some raw optimism in order to get better, it makes you a different person. It's an invisible trauma, something that doesn't kill you, might never go away, and is entirely in your head. The only thing you can do is to force yourself to feel better.

If we can master our own sanity enough to conquer a constant ringing in our own heads to preserve our sanity, then acceptance or empathy seem easy!

 

[Fangen]

Hey Ludvik,

Sorry to hear that you feel that way. I got T from being at a concert in a smaller venue. I feel the same regret sometimes, I didn't wanna go there to begin with but I felt obligated to do it. I never liked loud places and that just makes it even worse. I have many times thought about if I had said no and just not been there. But that is too late, it has been a year already and even if things have been hard, I have adopted okay. I have no choice. Regret will not help me to move forward and I know it is hard, but it will feel a bit easier to let go of the past to longer time passes.

 

[Tom Cnyc]

you let it consume you until it gets boring to do so.

 

[volsung37]

There are stages to all grief. At the end comes acceptance. It takes longer for some people to get there but they usually do.

 

[CDNThailand]

I too suffer immensely from regret,not that I got T because I didn't know what it was but that I actually listened to the healthcare professionals even though my better judgement said otherwise.

My mind is stuck on those incidents and they play on repeat all day everyday,I've experienced this before until I accepted what happened had happened and there's nothing I can do about it.But this time it's different,I worsened myself to unimaginable levels this year and this time I just can't accept it,how did I manage to fuck up again and ignore the warning signs?How did I get myself brainwashed by all the TRT and"it's your nervous system on high alert"bullshit?Im not an extremely intelligent man by any means but I'm smart enough to use logic and some how I failed to do so when it mattered most.

I regret getting myself into this mess,I've worsened my condition 3 times now in 6 years,who does that?A complete idiot that's who.Darwinism st it's finest

How did you worsen it?

 

[Lorac]

We all make mistakes in life. We make bad choices that sometimes hurt ourselves or others, and sometimes the damages are permanent. We also make good decisions and have many successes. That's life.

 

[Ludvik]

Another case of regret.. I went to an art fair, thinking it will be low key gentle quite event. Which it was, but very gradually a crowd started to form and I didn't realize but the volume of the place reached a high level - to the point where we had to raise our voices to talk. I left quite soon after I realized how loud the place had gotten - but it was a bit too late and I had another spike. I went to bed hoping it would've settled by morning but it got worse throughout the night and I'm just feeling upset.

Yesterday morning my T was at about 2 or 3/10 which made me so happy, I couldn't hear it unless I was in silence. Now it's gone back up to about a 6/10 (which isn't as bad as I had before..) with a new tone. I'm hoping it settles back down again soon.

One thing which makes me sad is that I can't enjoy social settings like these anymore without feeling anxious about how loud will things be, will I get a spike. I have ear plugs but I can't hear conversation over them, I will try to find some plugs that have lower decibel reduction.

 

[stophiss]

Will simply weigh in with I feel about regret. I have very few regrets in my life and those I have I give myself a pass.
I try to do the best I can and concede like all humans I am less than perfect. I also have a bit of risk taking gene which has gotten me into trouble on occasion but nothing serious. I don't regret that either because life would be more boring without it. I grew up in the era of drugs, sex and rock and roll. Many checked out early for different reasons.
I don't regret the mistakes I have made including listening to headphones too much or being around loud environments.
Few us get do overs and to me regret is a wasted emotion if you give your best effort.

If there would be any regret it would be taking another's life away which I have been fortunate never to do. Some have by accident and this would be difficult to live with. Other than that, move on and do the best you can. A parallel is...self forgiveness is a cornerstone to accepting tinnitus. Self acceptance that our bodies are no longer perfect which btw is OK as there are many much worse things that happen to perhaps those even less deserving.

 

[Mentos]

I deal with it by NOT thinking about the past .

Me the same I stopped thinking about that concert that gave me T. But I would add I don't think about the future too much either. I just try to live one day or one moment at a time and I focus everyday on keeping my emotions towards T under control.

 

[bill 112]

How did you worsen it?

Noise,unexpected loud noises and putting too much strain on my ears.

 

[Lex]

We regret the stupid things we did and the smart things we didn't do in the past because they hurt us now.

Given that principle, don't spend too much time on those bygones because in the future, you'll realize that dwelling will just hurt you further. Five years from now, do you want to regret making your condition much worse because you allowed yourself to become an emotional mess?

Believe me, it's easier said than done. Every day, I'm regretting all the times I failed to look after my ears. But also every day, I realize I need to be kinder to myself more than ever.