How Loud Is Too Loud? 14-Year-Old New to Tinnitus

[Samantha R]

@ClaudiaT
Firstly, I wanted to say that I'm so sorry that your son is going through such a rough time.
In relation to his anxiety, in my humble opinion, getting the anxiety under control does not necessarily lessen the volume of tinnitus. It just means that you don't have the same reaction when you hear the sound of your tinnitus.
I know many who have habituated, and they say they don't notice the tinnitus, or only hear it when they think about it. It's not that it has necessarily reduced in volume, but their brain filters it out and it SEEMS less intrusive.
When you are hyper focused on the noise, of course it's going to seem louder.
When I first had tinnitus, my doctor was convinced I had depression. Well I did, but it was because of the tinnitus. He said that if I got the depression under control, then the tinnitus would go away. This was wrong because of course the tinnitus is still there, but not feeling as anxious about the noise has lessened the depression.
I truly believe that unless the ear itself heals, then the noise won't reduce without intervention (of which we have nothing at the moment).
What can change is the perception of it.
I can tell you that my tinnitus volume has not changed. However, my brain tunes it out now and I am much less aware of it than I was at the start. However, it is still there, in all it's hissing glory if I want to focus on it.
It's difficult to speed up the habituation process, and time in this sense, is a great healer.
I hope this makes sense, probably reinforces what Rinz says above.
Some people need the help of medications, others just need time.
In my case, it was something to help me sleep initially and time.
I believe your son will get there, and hopefully some healing will take place within the ear and the actual volume of his tinnitus will quiet down.
Sam.

 

[ClaudiaT]

@Samantha R Thanks - it is so hard to be a mom of a kid with tinnitus because I can only go off of what he is telling me - I can't hear it myself. He definitely reports all day long, "it's louder" "it was softer and now it's louder" "it's louder than ever" "this morning it was quiet and now it's louder"... funny how he never tells me when it is softer, he only tells me that it had been softer but now it is louder. Maybe he doesn't tell me when it's softer because he's not thinking about it/focusing on it... to your point. I wonder is it actually getting louder and softer or is it just him thinking it's louder and softer and his perception fluctuates based on how relaxed or distracted he is? In the times when he reports it was softer (after the fact) does that mean he has started habituating or is actually quieting down? It is so confusing. I can't ask him "how's your tinnitus doing" during the times when he seems at peace, distracted, busy or happy because I am encouraging him to stop monitoring it which means I can't either. Goodness, if you can follow along with what I just said, I'm impressed!

 

[Autumnly]

I am convinced that anxiety is the cause for it being so difficult to manage

Definitely not in every case. Loudness and intrusiveness matter. If you have blasting tinnitus that you can hear easily while showering of course that's going to be harder to live with. That's a horribly toxic myth that coping with tinnitus only comes down to someone's mindset and that loudness doesn't matter. Reducing anxiety will not necessarily reduce the volume of tinnitus or allow everyone to filter out their tinnitus and to perceive it less.

We understand that there's a difference between living with mild and severe chronic pain. The same applies to tinnitus.

 

[Samantha R]

@ClaudiaT
I do completely understand what you are saying.
It is quite possible that his tinnitus volume is indeed fluctuating and it's not his anxiety or the attention he is paying it.
Mine is quiet in the morning and louder at night. This is an actual change in volume, and not me paying less attention to it.
Eventually I came to accept these fluctuations and I no longer care that this happens.
Time really will help your son. In the mean time, it may help to always have some background noise on to take his focus away.
I never sit in the quiet anymore, I always have some sort of sound on around me.

 

[Alue]

Definitely not in every case. Loudness and intrusiveness matter. If you have blasting tinnitus that you can hear easily while showering of course that's going to be harder to live with. That's a horribly toxic myth that coping with tinnitus only comes down to someone's mindset and that loudness doesn't matter. Reducing anxiety will not necessarily reduce the volume of tinnitus or allow everyone to filter out their tinnitus and to perceive it less.

We understand that there's a difference between living with mild and severe chronic pain. The same applies to tinnitus.

Agreed. I have seen a number of people think this way when they had mild tinnitus for years then they freak out when their tinnitus got much louder.

 

[Lane]

my son is FREAKING OUT and in a horrible cycle of anxiety, tinnitus, anxiety, tinnitus... he NEEDS someone to reassure him.

Hi again @ClauiaT,

For some reason, your above comment kept coming up in my mind the past few days. I'm finally getting around to posting you a link to a thread I started recently on tips for treating anxiety. Perhaps there will be something in there that might prove helpful.

Three Supplements to Treat Severe Anxiety Symptoms

Also, I had the thought about your son perhaps undertaking some kind of new physical activity. Something that would distract him from the tinnitus, and at the same time, give him some kind of semblance of regaining control over his body. -- I've heard that jogging or weight lifting has been very helpful for some women who've been abused in some manner, and many of them found it to be helpful to regain a sense of control over their bodies and their lives. I think it could be anything, whether jogging, some kind of martial arts, etc.

All the Best!

 

[Mathew Gould]

Everyone is so thoughtful on this site because Tinnitus is debilitating. I would equate the thoughtfulness on this site like a world catastrophe making everyone come together. I hope your son gets better, I couldn't imagine having tinnitus & hyperacusis at a young age. I would tell him he's made it this far and things will only get better. Also I think there will be a cure in a few years.

 

[TinH]

Hello,
I am writing on behalf of my 14 year old son who has had tinnitus and hyperacusis for 5 weeks following a firecracker exploding about 2 feet from his left ear. He is going through regret, depression, hopelessness and desperation and believes that since it has been 5 weeks, it will never go away. I know this is a possibility and there is no way to know. I want to work towards helping him have positive thinking and to habituate (even if his T does resolve, there is no harm in starting the habituation process now), however, he like so many of you, freaks out at the thought of trying to habituate to this... he is desperate for it to go away, not accept that it might not.

As part of this process, I am trying to get him to enjoy his normal life doing things like getting out of the house and riding his bike, but when he rides his bike, he always hears loud squeaky breaks of a truck, or the roar of a loud engine, the shouts of his friends and then he panics. "It was getting quieter and then that noise happened and now it is worse than ever! It's never going to go away now!", is something he will typically panic about after he hears a noise. He has terrible panic and anxiety that any noise above a normal in-home level will cause further damage to his ears that could make the difference between a full recovery and no recovery. School starts next week and I am concerned about the bells ringing at school, fire drills at school, etc. Will these things potentially cause "more damage" that could prevent a full recovery?

We have asked the doctors he has seen how we should assess what noises are to be avoided, what noises could cause further actual damage (vs. a temporary T or H spike). We give examples about doors slamming, horns honking, etc. and the doctors just give vague "I don't think so" type of answers. And, "sure, that's a good idea to wear ear plugs to protect your ears". I feel like they really don't know the answers.

Does anyone have any words of advice about what noises you'd hear in the course of your life that seem loud to you but are not damaging? Has anyone had a doctor give them a helpful guideline?

It can actually take up to 3 months for the ear to heal

 

[Digital Doc]

It can actually take up to 3 months for the ear to heal

Or even longer than 3 months.