How to Cope? — Loud Tinnitus & Not Sure How Much More I Can Take

[OnceUponaTime]

I haven't tried melatonin.

Maybe you should.

Great app, by the way.

Once

 

[PeteJ]

It was low volume buzzing today. But, the cicadas noise started at around 4 pm. This is torture.

 

[Digital Doc]

What's getting worse? My T - but, it's not worse permanently, I hope? My theory is that it's especially sensitive or reactive to higher frequencies or high pitches - so any screeching sounds. It temporarily spiked due to someone braking (in their car), while I was walking the dog ( wasn't wearing ear plugs). The problem is that they need to replace their brakes - and that is why when they were braking, it was a particular screeching sound - I think you know what I mean?
Also, I think my computer fan(s) seem to trigger it, at least, the speed goes faster if not a spike as well. They are not the most quiet and I was in the process of building a new computer before all this happened. Maybe I should invest in some 'quiet fans' (Noctua) or something - if it's worth it.
It calmed down at some point - although, it was difficult to mask out - I used my app - it seems the fan couldn't mask it and the app being quiet but having a few sounds mixed together - allowed it to calm down enough to sleep? I dunno....

When my T was worse, I liked using a fabless computer that runs silently.

These loud sounds are causing spikes, which tend to go away, but in some cases do not. Better to protect from them, and not worry about spiking constantly.

I would try to wear earplugs for thext 2 weeks when in any stores or restaurants, and protect from any and all loud sounds. Report back, and see if the T improves. It tends to not get better in just a day, but if you stop spiking, there is a good chance you will give it a chance to fade.

 

[PeteJ]

Update: it went down in volume and I distracted myself as best I could. I wore plugs or muffs when I went out and only took them out/off momentarily. I wish it would go down like before, though. I could hardly hear anything those times. Recently, it is going down in volume but I can still tell the buzzing is there. :-(
I still can't get it out of my mind that the store incident 'set me back' so to speak. Whether it's psychological or not or a legitimate concern, I am scared that it prevented improvement or positive progress.
Any thoughts or comments?
I suppose the main positive sign is that it's still going down in volume sometimes? I got two nights in a row of sleep because of that. Not a lot but I will take it.

 

[PeteJ]

Is there any hope for improvement after the store incident? I can't help but be preoccupied with that stupid decision to go in there with no plugs in my ears. I was following the stupid audiologists' advice although I have read even here not to be overprotective. Maybe, one should but then you risk yourself to a loud noise - maybe it's random but if I was overprotective, I would have wearing hearing protection and maybe that intercom screeching sound doesn't do anything? I don't think it was just some random spike change but I'm only speculating.

I am told to wait another month? Or some say 'learn to deal' - mask it or distract yourself....sure, but I want to know if it can still improve. I am scared that high pitched, loud sounds is what does the damage - as the original one? In a store, one can't predict that some noise would be such an impact but maybe I should have been anticipating any loud, high pitched sound as being a problem? :-( I have such a hard time trying to sleep.... I used to have a quiet hiss at night before - it wasn't ideal, obviously, but I could almost count on it, even if went from a spike to an eventual hiss. Now, I never know. It has gone to a low hum or very low volume buzzing and I have had sleep, but, I'm pretty sure it's less than 8 hours. Not good.

I am also scared because it's getting close to a month in. Is any of this considered fading or 'improvement' - in that the buzzing is not the loud 'cicadas' noise usually but still an annoying 'fire alarm-like' buzzing because I am still scared.
I know many here have it for months and years - and you are much more stronger than I am - you guys deserve a cure and it is sad that it's taking so long - I hope researchers are getting closer. But, the loud volume is just destroying me. I have tried to mask it with sounds, music, fan noise and nothing helps - it just seems to spike it or provoke it more. Using a quiet room, I am in torture but it seems the best chance for it to calm down - although, not to silence or low enough that it's easy to sleep - but, it's what I deal with for the small amount of sleep that I can get.

TRT is expensive here and if I had money, I'd probably try it although I don't think it's a cure or even desirable - I don't think it would work and there's no studies that indicate that it leads to real improvement or of tinnitus going away - just that some people are successful at distracting themselves? But, I think forcing yourself to listen to sounds all day long or wearing a device all the time to drown out a loud tinnitus sound would make me go insane just as much as not using this treatment.

I don't know what else to say now. I don't know if people reply or read this but maybe they get tired of reading the same sort of messages over and over? :-(

 

[PeteJ]

I don't want to go on anymore.

I can't avoid loud noise here. It's hopeless. Two cars just went by with loud mufflers.

I am poor and I don't have money to go where I want and my ears are damaged.

I don't know how to do it so I am not still alive but worse.

I just have to figure that out and I will be free. It's the only way I will find sleep.

I don't want nor need therapy. They can't help with this. They can't stop the ringing.

 

[GSC]

Hold on, Pete. Did the mufflers hurt your ear? How loud did they feel? I doubt they did any damage since you're five stories up. It can get better, I really hope it does for you, since your tinnitus seems to fluctuate. Your hyperacusis will improve hopefully if you rest your ears and don't sit in silence. Your spike has probably lasted this long, because lack of sleep.

My tinnitus is always higher when I don't get to 6-8 hours. Maybe look into more sleeping aids? Like the pill Bill Bauer suggested. What dose of melatonin are you taking? I take five and it works, maybe it needs to be upped. Are you still your supplements?

 

[PeteJ]

I was outside turning at the sidewalk to walk by the river but the road was right there.

I am trying not to monitor but maybe there is a change in tinnitus sounds.

My hyperacusis has improved. It doesn't matter. I can't protect myself in one of the noisiest areas.

I don't want to do this anymore.

 

[dayma]

If you are feeling suicidal please go to the ER or urgent care.

The forums can offer support but please do not hesitate to go to the ER.

 

[PeteJ]

If you are feeling suicidal please go to the ER or urgent care.

The forums can offer support but please do not hesitate to go to the ER.

I'd be suffering even more there. No.

 

[GSC]

I was outside turning at the sidewalk to walk by the river but the road was right there.

I am trying not to monitor but maybe there is a change in tinnitus sounds.

My hyperacusis has improved. It doesn't matter. I can't protect myself in one of the noisiest areas.

I don't want to do this anymore.

Do you want to see if your tinnitus can get better, or even resolve itself? You're still incredibly early in. I know you're in a noisy area, but most of the noise isn't harming you, imo, if you're five stories up. Do you take NAC and Magnesium every morning and after noise exposures you're wary of?

 

[PeteJ]

Do you want to see if your tinnitus can get better, or even resolve itself? You're still incredibly early in. I know you're in a noisy area, but most of the noise isn't harming you, imo, if you're five stories up. Do you take NAC and Magnesium every morning and after noise exposures you're wary of?

I was outside and just off the sidewalk when the sound / noise happened. It was a sports car. I thought, oh shit. But, it was too late.

I don't want to endure this anymore.

 

[Strife_84]

Yes, you need mental health professional, asap. Call your local emergency number.

 

[GSC]

I was outside and just off the sidewalk when the sound / noise happened. It was a sports car. I thought, oh shit. But, it was too late.

I don't want to endure this anymore.

But your ears could be fine, Pete... Can you answer any of my other questions?

 

[PeteJ]

But your ears could be fine, Pete... Can you answer any of my other questions?

I took Magnesium and NAC when I went back inside. I took one each in the morning.

It seemed loud. I covered my ears but heard it start. My ears didn't hurt after it but my left ear doesn't feel normal today.

I don't know what pill Bill takes. I took chamomile tea and 1.5 mg of melatonin.

 

[GSC]

I took Magnesium and NAC when I went back inside. I took one each in the morning.

It seemed loud. I covered my ears but heard it start. My ears didn't hurt after it but my left ear doesn't feel normal today.

I don't know what pill Bill takes. I took chamomile tea and 1.5 mg of melatonin.

Maybe up your melatonin to 3mg, or even 5mg. You can message Bill for the pill suggestion/sleep aid, because I forgot the name of it. Maybe look in his started threads for the info. How does it feel. Stuffy, full? I have to go to work... Please do not do anything. Just try to hold onto the fact that you're still early in with your journey of tinnitus and your tinnitus volume isn't constant. It could be a good thing for you..

 

[Tanni]

You would have to be Superman to be able to deal with this kind of anxiety without any support or anti-anxiety medication. You're in serious fight or flight mode at the moment by the seems of things, and this is precisely the kind of situation that anti-anxiety medication is invented for.

If you're at the end of your rope, so to speak, what harm will it do to try some really strong anti-anxiety medication? Just to get you thinking a bit calmer so you can make a proper, informed decision.

And have you considered that you already partake in talking therapy by posting a lot on this forum and in the chat section, talking through your anxiety with other members? It's not any different to that, except a professional would be better equipped to help you. But up to you.

 

[PeteJ]

It's too hard for me. I have called suicide lines. I don't want to talk to those people or ER. My tinnitus case is severe. People here are tired of me and are unsympathetic (I guess I can't blame them too much - I am a coward for not offing myself already). Therapists don't understand and there's nothing they can do. I don't want their tools. I want peace.

 

[GSC]

A lot of people say they don't know their baseline until they're 6 months in, or even a year in. People a year in can still experience fading, or even, complete remission of tinnitus.

 

[GSC]

It's too hard for me. I have called suicide lines. I don't want to talk to those people or ER. My tinnitus case is severe. People here are tired of me and are unsympathetic (I guess I can't blame them too much - I am a coward for not offing myself already). Therapists don't understand and there's nothing they can do. I don't want their tools. I want peace.

The people who aren't sympathetic to you are assholes, point fucking blank. But you need someone to talk to, Pete. You have to talk to someone. Isolation is one of the worst things for tinnitus distress.

 

[Strife_84]

You would have to be Superman to be able to deal with this kind of anxiety without any support or anti-anxiety medication. You're in serious fight or flight mode at the moment by the seems of things, and this is precisely the kind of situation that anti-anxiety medication is invented for.

If you're at the end of your rope, so to speak, what harm will it do to try some really strong anti-anxiety medication? Just to get you thinking a bit calmer so you can make a proper, informed decision.

I don't personally like anti-anxiety medication. Usually therapy works just as fine. Also, those pills make your head even more messed up.

I tried some of those "wonder pills" years ago. I almost wanted to kill myself during the medication. It was a living nightmare. So I threw them into trash and promised myself I would never touch any mind altering pills in my life again.

 

[Strife_84]

The people who aren't sympathetic to you are assholes, point fucking blank. But you need someone to talk to, Pete. You have to talk to someone. Isolation is one of the worst things for tinnitus distress.

Yes, it's totally different thing to talk with a living person than writing on forums. I noticed that myself when I took therapy sessions few years ago. Isolation is bad, even without tinnitus.

 

[Tanni]

It's too hard for me.

OK, as long as you have tried. Sometimes you have to be in the right frame of mind for therapy, so it's always something you can consider later.

Try the medication - no hard work required, and it works a LOT quicker than therapy anyway. There are many that aren't oxotoxic, but even if they are it hardly matters at this point if you are so close to suicide. The important thing is to reduce your anxiety so that you can start thinking like yourself again.

 

[dayma]

A lot of people on this board have been in this position, me included. There are different coping mechanisms that work for each individual. You just need to find the method that works best for you. For me it was a combo of CBT, DBT, and medication. It's still a daily struggle but I now have tools to help me cope.

 

[Tanni]

I don't personally like anti-anxiety medication. Usually therapy works just as fine. Also, those pills make your head even more messed up.

I tried some of those "wonder pills" years ago. I almost wanted to kill myself during the medication. It was a living nightmare. So I threw them into trash and promised myself I would never touch any mind altering pills in my life again.

Sure, some people don't like them. But many, many do, and they can be life savers. I have personally never had a bad experience with them - in fact, they're why I'm still here.

And I think if you're talking suicide on a daily basis, then it's time to try them at least. Therapy is great long term, but some people need immediate help, as we can see here.

Anyway, this is just my opinion, and it's all I can think to offer. Pete's going to make his own choice at the end of the day.

 

[PureNoise]

A lot of people say they don't know their baseline until they're 6 months in, or even a year in. People a year in can still experience fading, or even, complete remission of Tinnitus.

If true, thank God.

 

[Strife_84]

Sure, some people don't like them. But many, many do, and they can be life savers. I have personally never had a bad experience with them - in fact, they're why I'm still here.

And I think if you're talking suicide on a daily basis, then it's time to try them at least. Therapy is great long term, but some people need immediate help, as we can see here.

Anyway, this is just my opinion, and it's all I can think to offer. Pete's going to make his own choice at the end of the day.

I was thinking about suicide....but therapy helped me. I've seen the side effects what those medications can give to people, myself included. I don't think Pete can handle ANY more stress to his body.

But it's up to Pete.

 

[fishbone]

Reach out to a family, friend (someone that you love and respect). It's unfortunate that you have a severe case of tinnitus (mine is beyond loud). Try to make use of a low level enrichment noise (your mind can benefit from hearing another sound besides the tinnitus).

The biggest help for me in my life has been talking things out with someone that genuinely cares. Tinnitus is horrible and I feel bad that people have to deal with it. Do know that you/we/us can eventually manage it and live our lives.

Exercise and low sound enrichment have been a blessing for me. They do not reduce the HELL that plays in my head 24/7 but it relaxes me to the point that I am not caring about it. It took me about 1-2 years to get a grip on my tinnitus, but it can be done.

I have been at the bottom of the pit many many times, I know how hard it can be

Please do take care of yourself and call for help if you need it.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Reach out to a family, friend (someone that you love and respect). It's unfortunate that you have a severe case of tinnitus (mine is beyond loud). Try to make use of a low level enrichment noise (your mind can benefit from hearing another sound besides the tinnitus).

@fishbone

Good to see you back on the forum and giving first class help and advice. Keep up the great work.
Michael

 

[Ed209]

I don't want to go on anymore.

I can't avoid loud noise here. It's hopeless. Two cars just went by with loud mufflers.

I am poor and I don't have money to go where I want and my ears are damaged.

I don't know how to do it so I am not still alive but worse.

I just have to figure that out and I will be free. It's the only way I will find sleep.

I don't want nor need therapy. They can't help with this. They can't stop the ringing.

PeteJ, I was no different to you 4 years ago buddy. I was totally freaking out and wanted to end my life because I couldn't see how I could continue on as I was suffering so intensely. I understand how you feel, we all do. It's an awful place to be and it's mentally exhausting. Part of the problem for me was that my tinnitus was soon accompanied by a paralysing fear of many environmental sounds, and I can see that you are now in the same position. You've gone down the rabbit hole and you can no longer tell which way is up. It's all too easy to become obsessed with all the sounds that are around us when we have this condition, but when it's all you think about it becomes a big problem. You are micro-analysing every detail and your mind cannot cope with the demands you are putting on it, and in turn, this is ramping up your anxiety levels and is directly feeding your tinnitus and your perception of it.

You need to seek help so that you can get out of your own headspace. Please reach out to some close friends or family members and let them help and support you.

You are not alone in this.