How to Cope? — Loud Tinnitus & Not Sure How Much More I Can Take

#61
I don't have close friends. Family is small. My left ear is in pain now. My tinnitus sound is piercing. Some people say suicidal people don't warn you. I think it's mostly true but not always.

I do wish I didn't say anything. I feel hopeless.
 
#62
@PeteJ,
We hear you and your cry for help.
Tinnitus can be mental torture and our emotions and focus on life gets out of control.
You need to focus on little blocks of it and bit by bit life gets to feel a bit better.
First you need to make sure your sleeping at night to help your mood.
Notice if your sitting around not wanting to face the day or active and finding it helpful.
Make sure your hearing is ok and don't need hearing aids.
Reach out to family and friends and we are here around the clock to support you.
You are not going crazy ,tinnitus takes away our silence and we can soon fall into a depressive state and add tinnitus and lack of sleep it's understandable.

Try keep relaxing sound on around you and don't fear outside sound and do what you can to relax and stay calm.
Please don't do anything to end your life as life is still worth living and you will get through this devastating time and find you are stronger than you think.

love glynis
 
#63
PeteJ said:
I don't have close friends. Family is small. My left ear is in pain now. My tinnitus sound is piercing. Some people say suicidal people don't warn you. I think it's mostly true but not always.

I do wish I didn't say anything. I feel hopeless.
Click to expand...

Talk to your family, get real life support and somebody to hold your hand, hug you, and help you in your darkest hour.

You can and will come through this, but you have to take the first steps towards helping yourself. We all know how you feel; we are all united by this cause and we fight to help each other. There are many here who care about you greatly and this is evidenced by the numerous posts that are being made to try and help you.
 
#64
Been there my friend.

At the same time as I got horrible tinnitus, I broke up with my wife after 22 years, lost my beautiful house downtown to mold. My son was lost to drugs, and I had just personally lost music which I lived for.

It got better, I am now watching TV with my wife, we are back together, my son is going for an engineering degree.
I have a new apartment which I love... and I am producing an album.

I pretty much lost everything... for a while.
It gets better, we suck at predicting the future.

Stay strong, you will get through this.
 
#65
#66
@PeteJ,
I hope you're in a safe place in your mind tonight and know we are here for you.
Reach out for help to people and places for support in your area and know you will get through this hard time and become stronger as you learn about tinnitus and coping skills along the way.

Never give up hope...

love glynis
 
#67
@PeteJ It was really difficult for me during my second and third month. I'm now into my fifth month and I'm beginning to do the things I used to do like cooking, shopping and spending time outside. It takes a while but you will feel better soon. You have to keep yourself busy. It is better to sit at the park than in the apartment.
 
#68
When my tinnitus is loud it sounds like cicadas as well. I've found videos on YouTube that mask it pretty well. I take 50 mg. of Trazodone and that knocks me right out for about 4 hours. I usually wake up though. I'm often able to go back to sleep for an hour or two. Some sleep is better than none when dealing with this. I'm 13 months in, and get some quiet days mixed with loud. I'm hoping it settles down and remains quiet or just fades away. Only time will tell. When it first started it was extremely loud and constant for the first 8 months.
 
#69
My left ear pain and discomfort is very distressing for me. This on again, off again discomfort and pain plus the piercing t is making it hard to cope.

I suspect that the discomfort is from the muffs. But, I don't wear them often but I seem to feel discomfort after putting them on a few times. I don't wear them very long. Only when I know a loud noise will happen (in anticipation).

Also, for driving.

My left ear has pain at the cartilage and around the ear canal. This will make it even harder to sleep. :(

I don't know what else to say but I find it hard to cope with ear pain on top of everything.
 
#70
I don't want to live like this. I don't want to feel ear pain anymore. It's too much. Why can't I figure out a good way out?!? Then I don't have to go through this any longer. :(
 
#71
PeteJ said:
I don't want to live like this. I don't want to feel ear pain anymore. It's too much. Why can't I figure out a good way out?!? Then I don't have to go through this any longer. :(
Click to expand...

Don't you read any of the messages people write to you? You have TONS of good,valuable help here.

It is obvious you cannot handle this alone. Get help.
 
#72
KMc24 said:
When my tinnitus is loud it sounds like cicadas as well. I've found videos on YouTube that mask it pretty well. I take 50 mg. of Trazodone and that knocks me right out for about 4 hours. I usually wake up though. I'm often able to go back to sleep for an hour or two. Some sleep is better than none when dealing with this. I'm 13 months in, and get some quiet days mixed with loud. I'm hoping it settles down and remains quiet or just fades away. Only time will tell. When it first started it was extremely loud and constant for the first 8 months.
Click to expand...

How did you get your tinnitus if you don't mind me asking?
 
#74
@PeteJ,
Get checked for infection, wax, glue ear, wisdom teeth causing pressure.
Take a over the counter pain relief and try a warm compress.

love glynis
 
#76
KMc24 said:
Noise induced. Too many loud concerts with no ear protection.
Click to expand...
How often does it become 'quiet' and for how long?

Mine lowered briefly this morning around 5 or 6 am. That didn't last long.

It went back to the piercing tinnitus a few minutes later. It was relief but too short.

I don't know how people deal with it - the ones who say their t is loud and piercing continuously. This tinnitus is scaring me so much. I need more distractions but when this happens, what does it mean? We're not supposed to monitor it but I know this is a change. I wasn't sleeping but I got a few hrs last night.

But, I still don't see the point of living like this. Need to order a muff and hope it doesn't make my ears hurt?

My right ear has some pain. My left ear pain is not as bad as last night. But, it has happened before when the pain returns.

The ear pain and piercing tinnitus makes me want to quit, sorry. There are so many loud noises where I live and I don't want to live like this.
 
#78
PeteJ said:
The ear pain and piercing tinnitus makes me want to quit, sorry. There are so many loud noises where I live and I don't want to live like this.
Click to expand...

No apologies, @PeteJ. Wanting to quit has crossed all of our minds at some point, although I believe that what we really want is to live, which is why we come here to Tinnitus Talk.

I know you don't think therapy is a good option for you, but what you may or may not realize is that coming here for support is a very good form of therapy, and it is free.

Please keep coming here and please do tell us how you are feeling. We may not have the answers to all of your questions, this is true, but we will be here to listen and support you.
 
#79
emmalee said:
No apologies, @PeteJ. Wanting to quit has crossed all of our minds at some point, although I believe that what we really want is to live, which is why we come here to Tinnitus Talk.

I know you don't think therapy is a good option for you, but what you may or may not realize is that coming here for support is a very good form of therapy, and it is free.

Please keep coming here and please do tell us how you are feeling. We may not have the answers to all of your questions, this is true, but we will be here to listen and support you.
Click to expand...
I appreciate that. Free therapy here is mostly with students. With professional therapy, there is a waiting list. But like I said, without significant improvement with my tinnitus and ears, I don't think it will accomplish anything.
 
#80
PeteJ said:
How often does it become 'quiet' and for how long?

Mine lowered briefly this morning around 5 or 6 am. That didn't last long.

It went back to the piercing tinnitus a few minutes later. It was relief but too short.

I don't know how people deal with it - the ones who say their t is loud and piercing continuously. This tinnitus is scaring me so much. I need more distractions but when this happens, what does it mean? We're not supposed to monitor it but I know this is a change. I wasn't sleeping but I got a few hrs last night.

But, I still don't see the point of living like this. Need to order a muff and hope it doesn't make my ears hurt?

My right ear has some pain. My left ear pain is not as bad as last night. But, it has happened before when the pain returns.

The ear pain and piercing tinnitus makes me want to quit, sorry. There are so many loud noises where I live and I don't want to live like this.
Click to expand...
My t follows a cycle you could say. The first 8 months it was a constant high pitched ringing. About 5 months ago it changed in pitch to a cicada sound and sometimes a hiss. I usually get 2 quiet days followed by a loud day then it returns quiet for a day, or remains moderate for a couple days. It usually turns quiet again. Sometimes it has to do with sleep. When I say quiet it means I can only hear it indoors in a quiet room. Otherwise outdoor sounds mask it. Give it time yours might settle down. Takes a long time for ears to heal. Not sure if mine will heal completely, but its much easier to live with mild t. I've never experienced ear pain just some fluttering in my ear and fullness which dissipated a couple months ago.
 
#81
Allan1967 said:
Encouraging that you've seen some improvement?
Click to expand...
Yes. Its much better than a year ago. Every month I notice small improvements. When it started it was screaming loud all the time for 8 months. 5 months ago it started to go quiet or mild for a couple odd days here and there. The quiet days started to increase slowly. This past week I had 3 mild days with 2 loud days in between. Yesterday it was moderate, today it is kind of mild. Who knows what tomorrow holds? I'm grateful for the mild days as it is much easier to handle. Overall I've seen improvements although it is very very slow.
 
#82
PeteJ said:
I don't know how people deal with it - the ones who say their t is loud and piercing continuously.
Click to expand...

This is what helps me:
  • keeping up to date with scientific research (because I'm a science guy and it helps keep hope alive)
  • learning about T so I know the details of what I'm facing (its genesis, what is happening to my body, etc)
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to deal with my irrational thoughts when they creep in
  • protection when I feel like I need it (it's fairly rare: when I use power tools for example)
  • getting out of noisy areas (I went to Disney On Ice with my daughter and felt like it was too much for me, so I left) and no playing hero like "I can handle this"
  • focusing on other things (keep the brain busy to leave very little attention budget to the Tinnitus)
  • no changes in diet (I can drink and eat whatever I want) so I'm not sad about losing that joy (I experimented with it and found no changes)
  • no changes in habits other than being mindful of loud sounds: I still play my drums and video games regularly, at reasonable volume. I experimented with "fun deprivation" after onset, and found no changes in T other than negative changes in "life enjoyment"
  • interaction with others: helps focus away from T
  • support from family
  • time - it's the one thing that everyone gets for "free" and it works in the background

Did any of this change my T volume? No. It's still the same shitty "over the shower", or "over anything life has to offer" kind of T. I went to an audiologist to try various masking sounds and levels only to find out that they couldn't find any masking sound that would be safe for me: it would have to be too loud to mask my T.

How do I deal with it? Like everyone else! Going through this painful ordeal one day at a time. It's not pleasant, it hurts, and it has no cure and nothing can lower its intensity even temporarily. Mine doesn't vary, so I know there won't be any relief period coming anytime soon.

So there is no secret. I'm not a superhuman. I go through the same pain that everyone else does, second after second, minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day. I'm not the only one. We cope because we don't have any other option at the moment. We'd all rather have a healthy life with no T.

It sucks to no end, but I am no longer anxious or nervous about it. No more "surprise effect", or ramping anxiety. In some way you could say I'm "habituated to the suckiness".

I do have occasional thoughts that want to drag me down the pit but I've learned tools to deal with it (CBT), so at least I have the emotional response covered. That plays a major role in my ability to cope.
 
#83
KMc24 said:
Yes. Its much better than a year ago. Every month I notice small improvements. When it started it was screaming loud all the time for 8 months. 5 months ago it started to go quiet or mild for a couple odd days here and there. The quiet days started to increase slowly. This past week I had 3 mild days with 2 loud days in between. Yesterday it was moderate, today it is kind of mild. Who knows what tomorrow holds? I'm grateful for the mild days as it is much easier to handle. Overall I've seen improvements although it is very very slow.
Click to expand...
Excellent. My audiologist said 7 months was still very early on and it takes a long long time and she was hopeful I could still see changes.

Thanks.
 
#84
Allan1967 said:
Excellent. My audiologist said 7 months was still very early on and it takes a long long time and she was hopeful I could still see changes.

Thanks.
Click to expand...

In my experience, audiologists aren't very knowledgeable when it comes to tinnitus. I have to state that this is only the ones I've seen personally. This is not a blanket statement as there are bound to be some excellent ones out there who know a lot about this stuff.
 
#85
PeteJ, We are here for you man. Many of us have high pitch ear piercing tinnitus for the first 6-8 months and it would settle down a bit after that. Just hang in there and see if it gets better as our ears heal very slowly. Like KMc24, I have good days and bad days now. But before we got to this point, we have almost constant ear piercing tinnitus 7/24. I also have ear pain as well. I wanted to kill myself the moment I realized this tinnitus is not going away as well but my wife pulled me out of it thank God. We do feel you because we really do know what you are going through.

The Lenire device that is coming out may be able to help us and even if it can't, more research in this field is coming as well so there is hope. Please hang in there as tomorrow will be certainly better.
 
#86
Hey PeteJ. Hang in there. I'm at about 6.5 weeks. Mine is a high pitched tea kettle. I sympathize with all your feelings as someone new to this. If I read these forums correctly, it does get better, and it can go away.

But here's the trick I am using: I am not wasting time hoping or worrying. I consider T one of my life's many challenges. I accept it, and take up my sword.

Cortisol is now flooding your system and elevating your stress levels. There is much you can do for this right now, including diet, supplements, and exercise:



Also, talk to friends and family for comfort. My best childhood friend, a U.S. Marine, said, "There is no such thing as silence anymore, my man. You'll be okay." He has had it for twelve years. It's barely audible. My sister has had T since the birth of her kids. It diminished over time and now she has to listen"for it. Many very great, famous people thrive with T. I googled it and Sam Harris, David Letterman, and Chris Martin, popped up on YouTube. PeteJ, I don't know you, but my opinion is that it is quite possible you must also be a great person to have gotten T:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_with_tinnitus







You are not alone. Take up your sword. All of us are at your side fighting with you.
 
#87
PeteJ said:
But, I still don't see the point of living like this.
Click to expand...
@PeteJ. The point of living like this is not to miss the cure! 30 Years! I've been institutionalised been on meds and still working and here! I feared meds but they help. PeteJ, give things a chance and time. 30 years from now you may help another Tinnitus sufferer(s).
 
#88
Allan1967 said:
Excellent. My audiologist said 7 months was still very early on and it takes a long long time and she was hopeful I could still see changes.

Thanks.
Click to expand...
Just don't lose hope, and read some of the success stories. Some people had their t fade completely away in 2 or more years. Others can only hear it in a quiet room, and their t was just like mine in the beginning, and how yours is now. They said the improvements were very slow and gradual. Just keep protecting your ears my friend, and try to stay positive although I know how hard it can be. If you need a med for anxiety or something to help you sleep don't be afraid to try it. Hang in there man we're all pulling for you.
 
#89
winstona said:
PeteJ, We are here for you man. Many of us have high pitch ear piercing tinnitus for the first 6-8 months and it would settle down a bit after that. Just hang in there and see if it gets better as our ears heal very slowly. Like KMc24, I have good days and bad days now. But before we got to this point, we have almost constant ear piercing tinnitus 7/24. I also have ear pain as well. I wanted to kill myself the moment I realized this tinnitus is not going away as well but my wife pulled me out of it thank God. We do feel you because we really do know what you are going through.

The Lenire device that is coming out may be able to help us and even if it can't, more research in this field is coming as well so there is hope. Please hang in there as tomorrow will be certainly better.
Click to expand...
You're in Toronto? At least, you know how awful the system is here. But, at least, you probably don't have to wait several months to see an ENT? Or do you?

I can't wait so long for Lenire and I lost hope in it anyway. My condition is too messed up if you ask me.

People have given up before because of tinnitus and the related problems and I am scared that I will ultimately join them.
 
#90
Ed209 said:
In my experience, audiologists aren't very knowledgeable when it comes to tinnitus. I have to state that this is only the ones I've seen personally. This is not a blanket statement as there are bound to be some excellent ones out there who know a lot about this stuff.
Click to expand...
The one I saw was aware of Neuromod and research etc which for her being in the NHS here in England I wasn't expecting.
 

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