In the treatments thread, many say antidepressants are not very helpful and may even be harmful.
I suspected as much already before I read the most recent parts of that thread. I am also worried about getting worse. No one will believe me but I think I would finally act on my feelings. It's so bad now and I wasn't considering drugs because of depression but in the hope that the volume would lower for whatever reason.
I am not depressed or stressed for any other reason but because of the tinnitus which is loud and really high pitched now. Is that clear? I know I could tolerate anything else. No money? Ok. No job? Ok. But, this tinnitus noise at this volume, no.
If it doesn't lower or worsens, I am done. I will just pick some suicide method and hope it works.
PeteJ, I know what you're going through as I went through it myself. And I'm sure a lot of others on this board can relate as well. I had days and nights when I had to look in the mirror and convince myself that life was still worth living. I felt completely disconnected from the rest of the human race.
My tinnitus nightmare began in April 1996 with a high-pitched hissing noise. After having every conceivable medical test performed (including a hearing exam), everything came back "normal." Three MRI's over ten years found nothing in my brain or inner ear.
In July 1996 I began hearing a loud, low-pitched hum. This was where my life became unlivable. I couldn't sleep, eat, or enjoy anything. All I cared about was making the noise go away. The humming was like having a loud propeller plane inside my head. (I had since habituated to the high-pitched hiss from a few months earlier). I was at the library every day doing research. Since I didn't have a computer at that time, I used the library's internet constantly. Looking for answers. I became an expert in pharmaceuticals. I read stories from people, famous and not-so-famous, who also had tinnitus, to get some perspective on how I could cope.
Like you, I was convinced that I didn't need to be on antidepressants. I thought, "If the humming would go away, I wouldn't be depressed!" I then started reading testimonials from people who suffered from weird pains in their backs, stomach, and other areas of the body. None of these folks had any physical causes. They were prescribed antidepressants, and in many cases, their pain went away. After trying everything else, I caved in and tried one called Effexor XR. After about 6 weeks on it, the humming gradually faded away. This near-silence lasted for about a year. I was ecstatic and able to live again. But in September 2000, it mysteriously returned. I tried others (Paxil, Zoloft), but they didn't work. Finally, I got on a drug called Lexapro, and it slowly lifted me out of my darkness. I've now been on it for 15 years. The noise in my head still comes and goes, but I'm convinced that getting on an AP saved me from putting a gun to my head.
Please try to go see a mental health professional for a diagnosis. Just because a certain drug helped me doesn't mean it's one size fits all. I also take a Valium on days where I feel like things might be getting out of control. I suffered from panic attacks long before I got tinnitus, and there is some correlation there.
Keep us posted, and as Freddie Mercury sang, "Don't Try Suicide"!
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