How to Explain How I Feel to Others

[The_T]

I'm so angry at myself for not telling my friends and my family about my condition (T). I have such a hard time to speak about emotions, I just can't. I do not want to be someone which everyone looks weird on, or whom everyone feel sorry for. I do not want to show myself weak or vulnerable.

I want to tell everyone close to me. It would explain my behavior from time to time, and they deserve to know. I'm just afraid that it will put me in an more exposed situation than before. That other may take advantage of it and not be understanding at all.

How did you tell people you love about your T? Whom did you tell? How did the person you said it to react? Was your relationship the same afterwards as before?

 

[glynis]

Hi,
Try talking and telling them how you feel.
If you find that hard then write down how you feel and give them the letter .
You could give them information and I know the BTA have free leaflets you can order or download to show them.
Be direct and say I have loud Tinnitus thats tough going and causing me a great deal of distress and I need your understanding and support dealing and coming to terms with a sound in my head and ears thats real mental torture. ...hope that helps...lots of love glynis

 

[Dawn Whinetaker]

It is a very difficult thing to talk about, because it's such a hard thing for non-T experiencers to understand. It's a very hard disease to explain having (ESPECIALLY since everyone has different symptoms!). When I was explaining it to my friends and family- I basically explained what I was hearing, how it affected my concentration, how I felt helpless, and how I needed them to understand that the background noise in my house couldn't be shut off. I wanted them to know that if I had trouble focusing on what they were saying when I was skyping with them or talking on the phone- that's why. I wanted them to know that I work a little slower, because sometimes I'm focusing on the noise and not my daily activities. I basically explained how it affected my life, how it made me feel, and how they could be more accommodating. I've always been really open with my emotions- but the people who care about you, CARE about how you feel and how they can help. Don't be afraid to talk about it. You'll be amazed how supportive people can be.

 

[Mad maggot]

Find a recording of the sound of your T. Get them to listen to it in their ear for a while and ask them how they like it. If people react badly to you and are not understanding then ditch them. They're not your friends and never were. People who love and appreciate you will support you. Real friends stick by you no matter what. I've have many of them and I consider myself extremely fortunate because I see many people here who have been let down not only by friends but family and that is terrible. It means they never had anyone before the T. It was an Illusion. When you have true friends and family who live you, T will not make a difference to them. They'll love you with it or without it! But none of us are perfect and our friends are not either so we must accept each other's short falls and be forgiving. Even though real friends stick by you it doesn't necessarily mean they understand completely. To really understand they have to have T. Knowing about it and experiencing it are not exactly the same. We all need to give each other a break and not expect people to give what they are not capable of giving. But we can all be loving and supportive. Sometimes that might mean explaining exactly what we need from someone to be supportive because they might not know what you want or might think they are being helpful when in fact what they are doing is not at all helpful. Communicating is important. People are not mind readers.