- Jun 26, 2014
- 2,264
- Tinnitus Since
- 11/2013
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Drugs barotrauma
Hi all, I never thought I would be back here, ever. I just told a friend yesterday that I would never post here again. I guess I shouldn't say never.
I've had some other major health issues of late and have been all consumed, but was kind of doing okay with my tinnitus for a while. I found it to be livable after a major increase summer 2018, I was finally to a point where I could deal with it okay, I also felt that the volume and tone had softened enough to where I could function half way normal and sleep. Still incredibly loud but reasonable compared to what it was.
Last week attended a Christmas party with a DJ, I know very stupid. I actually didn't know there was going to be a DJ until I got there. Before dinner music was playing in the background and was pretty loud, I was walking around talking to people with no ear plugs, seemed okay. After dinner the music started, I was caught with no protection for about 10 min as my wife had my plugs in her purse and I could not find her. The smart thing would have been to step out and text her, but nope I went looking, walked by the speakers a few times, was stopped by people to talk/yell etc, I have to admit it was a good rush for some reason. I finally found her, thought I was okay, put the plugs in. The rest of the night went okay, although I was yelling to be heard, I guess a lot of voice occlusion behind the plugs had occurred. Other people were leaning in yelling at me, especially since I had plugs on, surprisingly I could hear them okay, the voices didn't seem that loud.
At the end of the night the DJ shut things down, had the background music back on, I took my plugs out, deciding it was once again a acceptable level. Went on drinking and socializing, things seemed louder after having the plugs in for a few hours, this may have been a bit of a shock to my ears.
My wife and I left, went home, had a fight about god knows what, we almost never fight, but it was fight night. There was some yelling, but it wasn't overly long, maybe 10 min. I went to bed (passed out) and woke with a new level of tinnitus. I thought this could be temporary but I wasn't convinced, I've never experienced a spike before, in my experience if things get worse, they're worse. Went back to sleep and woke with the same new level, I knew I was screwed.
This was about 10 days ago, I am back to not sleeping without meds, wake up with severe panic attacks multiple times throughout the night, my tinnitus was already bad but was just finally learning to cope when this happened, was sleeping okay etc. Same thing as last year summer, finally getting by with when I stepped into a MRI machine with poor ear protection. This is my second MAJOR worsening in 6 years now, how I wish so badly to go back to my old tinnitus.
These worsening episodes take me straight back to the first time I got tinnitus but a lot worse because its now getting really f""Kin bad. The first time I had tinnitus it was a pretty livable but I was more just in panic mode because it was something I didn't understand, things did get worse from the beginning gradually but not like this and the MRI situation where I'm at least doubling, maybe more, the change is so drastic that you are almost impressed that tinnitus can get to these levels and realize that the sky's the limit.
I'm pretty good at sleeping with blazing tinnitus, but I don't know, this is not going to work for me. I tried last night, no masking, part of the issue is that My hearing has become pretty bad, I wake up feeling trapped in, feels almost like I have noise isolating headphones on blasting some kind of horrific screeching at volumes so loud that my head is in some serious pain, have to keep moving from side to side as the sound cuts into my brain. I reach over turn some rain forest noise on, I can't hear it unless it's cranked, and even then I can barely hear it and does next to nothing, my wife says it's so loud it's hurting her ears, might have to sleep in a different room.
I think the lesson here is that tinnitus ears are like glass, they are ready to break. I keep learning this the hard way. I mean the MRI was 110-120 dB banging for 30 minute in a tube, that I could understand. But this, 10 minute walking around, music maybe 105-110 dB, then plugs all night, hard to believe. No one else was wearing ear protection, no incident, in fact most went out to continue the party at a club, everyone is just fine. Then there is me, I lost hearing, severe pain in the ears, muffled, louder tinnitus, major insomnia again etc etc.
That is the last time I go out into the noise. I get this stupid sense of I deserve this, I've had this shit for 6 years and it's ruined my life, this year I'm getting dressed up and going out like normal folk, tinnitus won't stop me. Not the right way to think, I always thought that there were a lot of crazies here worrying about things like cars honking, or breaking a glass, but these people have a rational fear, and are overly cautious for all the right reasons. This is just another huge regret I have, I always wish I was more fearful at the time, I'm constantly thinking screw it I have tinnitus as bad as it can get now, it's done, I can move on, I know how to deal with it. All not true.
I'm hoping to have my tinnitus come down in pitch and volume, I know this doesn't seem to be the consensus here at Tinnitus Talk, I'm one of the few that actually thinks tinnitus fades, and a lot of folks just mistake it for habituation, this is the way it works for me. The rate at which it fades is at a snails pace, has to me measured over multiple months or years, not days or weeks. And on top of that, no set backs with meds or noise.
Anyway, anyone out there considering a holiday party? Maybe skip it for a quiet night in?
Also, wouldn't mind hearing from others with hearing loss tinnitus where things gradually improve with time. Feeling kind of lonely, I guess that's why I come back, I don't really speak of it in the real world.
If anyone wants to comment I'd like to keep it positive please if you can, I'm kind of in a bit of a state at the moment, if you can't, well, I'll have to deal with it as it is a public forum.
Stories of habituation are no good for me, I'm past that, I've had this for a long time, when it gets bad enough it's not an annoyance, it's severe head pain. If there is anyone out there like me (with hearing loss) that actually gets better over time, yeah would love to hear from you.
Thanks.
I've had some other major health issues of late and have been all consumed, but was kind of doing okay with my tinnitus for a while. I found it to be livable after a major increase summer 2018, I was finally to a point where I could deal with it okay, I also felt that the volume and tone had softened enough to where I could function half way normal and sleep. Still incredibly loud but reasonable compared to what it was.
Last week attended a Christmas party with a DJ, I know very stupid. I actually didn't know there was going to be a DJ until I got there. Before dinner music was playing in the background and was pretty loud, I was walking around talking to people with no ear plugs, seemed okay. After dinner the music started, I was caught with no protection for about 10 min as my wife had my plugs in her purse and I could not find her. The smart thing would have been to step out and text her, but nope I went looking, walked by the speakers a few times, was stopped by people to talk/yell etc, I have to admit it was a good rush for some reason. I finally found her, thought I was okay, put the plugs in. The rest of the night went okay, although I was yelling to be heard, I guess a lot of voice occlusion behind the plugs had occurred. Other people were leaning in yelling at me, especially since I had plugs on, surprisingly I could hear them okay, the voices didn't seem that loud.
At the end of the night the DJ shut things down, had the background music back on, I took my plugs out, deciding it was once again a acceptable level. Went on drinking and socializing, things seemed louder after having the plugs in for a few hours, this may have been a bit of a shock to my ears.
My wife and I left, went home, had a fight about god knows what, we almost never fight, but it was fight night. There was some yelling, but it wasn't overly long, maybe 10 min. I went to bed (passed out) and woke with a new level of tinnitus. I thought this could be temporary but I wasn't convinced, I've never experienced a spike before, in my experience if things get worse, they're worse. Went back to sleep and woke with the same new level, I knew I was screwed.
This was about 10 days ago, I am back to not sleeping without meds, wake up with severe panic attacks multiple times throughout the night, my tinnitus was already bad but was just finally learning to cope when this happened, was sleeping okay etc. Same thing as last year summer, finally getting by with when I stepped into a MRI machine with poor ear protection. This is my second MAJOR worsening in 6 years now, how I wish so badly to go back to my old tinnitus.
These worsening episodes take me straight back to the first time I got tinnitus but a lot worse because its now getting really f""Kin bad. The first time I had tinnitus it was a pretty livable but I was more just in panic mode because it was something I didn't understand, things did get worse from the beginning gradually but not like this and the MRI situation where I'm at least doubling, maybe more, the change is so drastic that you are almost impressed that tinnitus can get to these levels and realize that the sky's the limit.
I'm pretty good at sleeping with blazing tinnitus, but I don't know, this is not going to work for me. I tried last night, no masking, part of the issue is that My hearing has become pretty bad, I wake up feeling trapped in, feels almost like I have noise isolating headphones on blasting some kind of horrific screeching at volumes so loud that my head is in some serious pain, have to keep moving from side to side as the sound cuts into my brain. I reach over turn some rain forest noise on, I can't hear it unless it's cranked, and even then I can barely hear it and does next to nothing, my wife says it's so loud it's hurting her ears, might have to sleep in a different room.
I think the lesson here is that tinnitus ears are like glass, they are ready to break. I keep learning this the hard way. I mean the MRI was 110-120 dB banging for 30 minute in a tube, that I could understand. But this, 10 minute walking around, music maybe 105-110 dB, then plugs all night, hard to believe. No one else was wearing ear protection, no incident, in fact most went out to continue the party at a club, everyone is just fine. Then there is me, I lost hearing, severe pain in the ears, muffled, louder tinnitus, major insomnia again etc etc.
That is the last time I go out into the noise. I get this stupid sense of I deserve this, I've had this shit for 6 years and it's ruined my life, this year I'm getting dressed up and going out like normal folk, tinnitus won't stop me. Not the right way to think, I always thought that there were a lot of crazies here worrying about things like cars honking, or breaking a glass, but these people have a rational fear, and are overly cautious for all the right reasons. This is just another huge regret I have, I always wish I was more fearful at the time, I'm constantly thinking screw it I have tinnitus as bad as it can get now, it's done, I can move on, I know how to deal with it. All not true.
I'm hoping to have my tinnitus come down in pitch and volume, I know this doesn't seem to be the consensus here at Tinnitus Talk, I'm one of the few that actually thinks tinnitus fades, and a lot of folks just mistake it for habituation, this is the way it works for me. The rate at which it fades is at a snails pace, has to me measured over multiple months or years, not days or weeks. And on top of that, no set backs with meds or noise.
Anyway, anyone out there considering a holiday party? Maybe skip it for a quiet night in?
Also, wouldn't mind hearing from others with hearing loss tinnitus where things gradually improve with time. Feeling kind of lonely, I guess that's why I come back, I don't really speak of it in the real world.
If anyone wants to comment I'd like to keep it positive please if you can, I'm kind of in a bit of a state at the moment, if you can't, well, I'll have to deal with it as it is a public forum.
Stories of habituation are no good for me, I'm past that, I've had this for a long time, when it gets bad enough it's not an annoyance, it's severe head pain. If there is anyone out there like me (with hearing loss) that actually gets better over time, yeah would love to hear from you.
Thanks.