Holly, I was busy living and enjoying my life despite my insanely screaming T and didn't know my post has irritated some people. Just came back from Bellingham airport picking up my daughter and her family visiting from Hawaii and it was so heavenly to see my one-year old grandson Noah. I cling to any bit of heaven to bury the 'hell' of T. My T was singing its ultra high pitch tune the whole day. Sometimes when it got ridiculously loud and I had nothing going on to distract from it, here come the ear buds with my ipod on faucet sound. Yes, it takes a squeaky high pitch faucet sound to match my T pitch, which sometimes even shower fails. What can one do to such ultra high pitch T which can cut through raging river rapids and jet noise in a flight? Go kill myself? Seriously that path had been entertained and rejected. I would rather endure a temporary 'hell' than the unthinkable. Now I don't need masking all day, but sometimes I was sick and tired with the laser beam like ultra high pitch shrill. There go my nature sounds, ya, even squeaky faucet.
Seriously, when I tell you those loud machines and loud jobs matter, I literally mean it. I use them a a lot initially (by turning up the amplified volume) to bury my T and told myself you don't have to kill yourself because those guys are working for wages with a much louder noise all day all through their career. I begged my panic prone mind to not push me down the seff destruction path, but the mind said give me a reason how you can live with this T for life. I said I would be like a driller w/o ear protection for 10-12 hours shift and while hearing the T shrill, I won't give a dime to the T. Then with the distractions of life and masking, it covers another 6 hours of facing T without fully hearing the unearthly shrill, which is like 'the so called going home and not having to face the loud sound. Then I would sleep my 7-8 hours on a CPAP machine (because I have sleep apnea), hopefully I won't be oxygen starved (which will send T to unbearably loud level). I look forward to my fishing breaks each week and would carry my ipod with me just in case I fish a quiet pool and Mr T is too loud. But I would prefer fishing the rapids walking 6-8 hours casting for a steelhead. On the really loud days, even the rapids could only partially mask but it is natural masking better than a faucet. LOL.
As I said, the loud job is not a perfect analogy, but the duration of exposure to loud sound is about the same if I add masking & distraction to the equation. I would take this imperfect analogy and say to myself, 'man, you can live with this T and don't need to shorten your life'. This is my 'new normal'. This is how my panic prone mind didn't trigger more panic attacks after a while because it knows I reason & show strong will to live with this noise and it buys into my reasoning. That is only a personal strategy that I often said may not work for others. But some may find it useful if they have no more alternative to deal with this sound and contemplating harming themselves. There is no intent to minimize or trivialize people's suffering for T. I had gone through hell with my T & H. I know the depth of the suffering that loud jobs cannot parallel. This is the compromise, an imperfect analogy, that I am willing to accept in order to convince my panic prone brain not to trigger more anxiety and panic attacks. It is either accepting it or suffering endlessly and be truly life threatening.
In the support forum, we are sharing our experiences and our strategies to try to help others. It doesn't mean our approach will work or will be used by others, but some may catch on and benefit. That is all we try to achieve by sharing. In the same way I applaud IWLM's Back to Silence method. It may not work for all, but it has definitely help some. We shouldn't jump IWLM and discount his T as minor because it doesn't apply to our T. This is same for TRT, CBT, Mindfulness, diet, supplement, creatine, Trobalt, etc. etc. They work for some, not all. To each its own. But at least we are sharing what approach has helped. That is what support forum is for. I will exercise my wisdom in sharing this approach of loud job analogy if I see it fitting. Just skip it if you don't think it helps you and don't have to get upset because it doesn't intend to put down your T suffering at all. The battle to win back our life with T requires playing some mental games with the mind. This is one of those mental games I used to beat out my T monster. Save for a true cure, sometimes the mental approach is the best solution for some who can't handle the T ringing. This is my humble 2 cents on the subject.
Thanks ATEOS and linearb and Vincent for your support and understanding.
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I am so sorry you are struggling so badly!! 
I know exactly what you are experiencing. I have 3 kids myself and trying to be there for them and dealing with severe T is HARD!! But it (they) are sooooo worth it!! And you will eventually habituate (like me), and it WILL get easier!!
Hang in and hang on!! Don't freak out about the future, try to live each day best as you can, and love on those little ones!!!!!
You are doing the right thing by venting here though! I pray for relief and peace for you soon!!!
