Hello everyone,
10 months ago my life changed drastically and I weirdly didn't realize the huge impact this would have at first. My Tinnitus started after going clubbing with a slight flu and after it didn't go away for a few days I went to see an ENT. He told me not to worry and that it will disappear by its own. And I just believed that as it was what I was thinking anyways. I hardly could believe that this would NOT go away. I was so convinced that this will only be a temporary thing that I was not worried at all. I continued my normal life and everything was pretty much as usual. I could sleep normally and only heard the sound occasionally although it was annoying me sometimes, but I just kept thinking "sooner or later it will be over". Problem is, that didn't happen.
After having this problem for nearly 6 months I thought that I would have to start doing something against it. And that is when the most horrible time of my life started. I kept running from doctor to doctor, moved back to my parents, cancelled an exchange semester, because the only thing I could think about was finding a cure. Also the noise increased and I now have some weird pressure in my ears as well, but the doctors say my ears are fine and my hearing is perfect. (although I think the hearing test goes only until 8kHz and my frequency must be around 9kHz, so maybe I have hearing loss in 9kHz??!) Anyways, I couldn't find a cure and my hope that the ringing will just stop by its own is also decreasing from day to day. Soon I have my one year anniversary and I am so scared about this day.
Right now my life is so depressing and sad. I used to have so many plans, living life to the fullest. I hardly ever had any problems in my life so far, I guess this is one reason why I was not worried in the beginning. But now I am losing my positive view and also the trust in myself and in life in general. I am not sure if everything will be good in the end. The beauty of life just kills me right now and constantly think of a way out. It is so bitter and difficult to accept that there is nothing I can do, that would make it disappear. Usually you have a problem and you somehow solve it. But for this problem, there is just no solution. That is what makes me completely nuts right now. There is NOTHING I can do, I just have to endure this now for a long, long time. Caught inside my body. I feel so trapped, that I really start to think about death as a "solution", because I am so scared of living a life full of suffering, agony and bitterness. Will I now get year by year done in the hope of some day being the day the cure comes? I strongly feel that it would be so wrong to just throw my life away because of some months in hell, but what if my life is just like that now? What if I continue to live in hell? I really don't know what to do at the moment.
Is there maybe someone who can relate to my feelings? And do you know people who have a noise-induced Tinnitus and actually got rid of it after years? Is there still hope? Thank you all! Em
10 months ago my life changed drastically and I weirdly didn't realize the huge impact this would have at first. My Tinnitus started after going clubbing with a slight flu and after it didn't go away for a few days I went to see an ENT. He told me not to worry and that it will disappear by its own. And I just believed that as it was what I was thinking anyways. I hardly could believe that this would NOT go away. I was so convinced that this will only be a temporary thing that I was not worried at all. I continued my normal life and everything was pretty much as usual. I could sleep normally and only heard the sound occasionally although it was annoying me sometimes, but I just kept thinking "sooner or later it will be over". Problem is, that didn't happen.
After having this problem for nearly 6 months I thought that I would have to start doing something against it. And that is when the most horrible time of my life started. I kept running from doctor to doctor, moved back to my parents, cancelled an exchange semester, because the only thing I could think about was finding a cure. Also the noise increased and I now have some weird pressure in my ears as well, but the doctors say my ears are fine and my hearing is perfect. (although I think the hearing test goes only until 8kHz and my frequency must be around 9kHz, so maybe I have hearing loss in 9kHz??!) Anyways, I couldn't find a cure and my hope that the ringing will just stop by its own is also decreasing from day to day. Soon I have my one year anniversary and I am so scared about this day.
Right now my life is so depressing and sad. I used to have so many plans, living life to the fullest. I hardly ever had any problems in my life so far, I guess this is one reason why I was not worried in the beginning. But now I am losing my positive view and also the trust in myself and in life in general. I am not sure if everything will be good in the end. The beauty of life just kills me right now and constantly think of a way out. It is so bitter and difficult to accept that there is nothing I can do, that would make it disappear. Usually you have a problem and you somehow solve it. But for this problem, there is just no solution. That is what makes me completely nuts right now. There is NOTHING I can do, I just have to endure this now for a long, long time. Caught inside my body. I feel so trapped, that I really start to think about death as a "solution", because I am so scared of living a life full of suffering, agony and bitterness. Will I now get year by year done in the hope of some day being the day the cure comes? I strongly feel that it would be so wrong to just throw my life away because of some months in hell, but what if my life is just like that now? What if I continue to live in hell? I really don't know what to do at the moment.
Is there maybe someone who can relate to my feelings? And do you know people who have a noise-induced Tinnitus and actually got rid of it after years? Is there still hope? Thank you all! Em