I Feel Horrible, Tinnitus Screwing Up My Social Life

[MikeB1996]

Story time... my friend whom I haven't seen in a long time says that I should come down for the weekend, so I got ready, jumped on a bus and went...

We hang out have a few beers at his house, all going good until other friends come over and say we should go out to a pub. I have my earplugs ready at all times so I said yeah sure why not.... in the end they all decide to go to a loud nightclub... I stayed there for maybe 15 mins until I realised it's way too loud... even with earplugs... So I left... told them it's too loud...

Now I'm in their house alone drunk and feeling horrible that tinnitus is screwing up my social life... Anxiety is not helping... I feel left out and angry..

 

[Kolisar]

@MikeB1996

If your friends know you have tinnitus and are unwilling to select quieter venues, you may need new friends. And, they may be making a huge mistake themselves as they are putting themselves at risk for tinnitus if the club is that loud.

I wish I had a better answer for you, but your hearing is damaged (hopefully temporarily, but regardless, you still need to protect it), and you will have to make some changes to your life (the same is true if you were in a wheelchair). I just hope that your friend(s) are considerate enough to consider other activities.

 

[MikeB1996]

@MikeB1996

If your friends know you have tinnitus and are unwilling to select quieter venues, you may need new friends. And, they may be making a huge mistake themselves as they are putting themselves at risk for tinnitus if the club is that loud.

I wish I had a better answer for you, but your hearing is damaged (hopefully temporarily, but regardless, you still need to protect it), and you will have to make some changes to your life (the same is true if you were in a wheelchair). I just hope that your friend(s) are considerate enough to consider other activities.

They were celebrating something... I couldn't really stop them because of me.. Regardless i went away because i want my tinnitus to improve (and since it's onset it has already improved) .. doesn't change the fact that i feel bad about it.. I also know you're trying to help and i really appreciate it! I mean it.. They're good friends and have helped me a lot throughout my life.. i kinda understand them too, it's hard to imagine what tinnitus is like to someone who doesn't have it. Before i had it i was careless too... I did warm them though.. i did say "just be careful, tinnitus is torture" ... I'm better now and sobered out , i probably over reacted I'm sorry.

 

[Kolisar]

i probably over reacted I'm sorry.

Not a problem. You posted what you were feeling at the time. You do not need to apologize. Sometimes just getting it out helps. And you are correct, and I have said it countless times, people who have never experienced tinnitus have a hard time understanding just how debilitating it is.

 

[zeroday]

This may sound silly but I don't mean it to be...there is no reason you can not go into the loudest pub you want to with your friends...But you have to be mindful of your condition...::silly part:: go to Walmart gun section and buy the highest rated head phone type of ear protection...I'm a shooter and use them when shooting my guns, no problems at all...hell decorate them you may start a trend god knows those places are loud beyond belief...

 

[MikeB1996]

This may sound silly but I don't mean it to be...there is no reason you can not go into the loudest pub you want to with your friends...But you have to be mindful of your condition...::silly part:: go to Walmart gun section and buy the highest rated head phone type of ear protection...I'm a shooter and use them when shooting my guns, no problems at all...hell decorate them you may start a trend god knows those places are loud beyond belief...

Truth is I hate places like that anyways, but i do like hanging out with friends i haven't seen in a while. Thanks for your advice though! It's not really silly, just an odd thing to see in a pub May i ask how loud your T is? Did it fade since you got it?

 

[MikeB1996]

Not a problem. You posted what you were feeling at the time. You do not need to apologize. Sometimes just getting it out helps. And you are correct, and I have said it countless times, people who have never experienced tinnitus have a hard time understanding just how debilitating it is.

Thank you for the kind words, i couldn't agree more.. tinnitus is very hard to describe.

 

[zeroday]

Truth is I hate places like that anyways, but i do like hanging out with friends i haven't seen in a while. Thanks for your advice though! It's not really silly, just an odd thing to see in a pub May i ask how loud your T is? Did it fade since you got it?

11 kHz +20 years ago it faded to its current level after the first 8-9 months...before that it was as if someone had their mouth on my ear screaming as loud as possible...

 

[JurgenG]

@MikeB1996

If your friends know you have tinnitus and are unwilling to select quieter venues, you may need new friends. And, they may be making a huge mistake themselves as they are putting themselves at risk for tinnitus if the club is that loud.

I wish I had a better answer for you, but your hearing is damaged (hopefully temporarily, but regardless, you still need to protect it), and you will have to make some changes to your life (the same is true if you were in a wheelchair). I just hope that your friend(s) are considerate enough to consider other activities.

I don't feel this is the best advise people need on this forum. I know because I got really scared of sound, and started overprotecting which led to H.
I agree that avoiding loud night clubs is the best thing to do, pubs are fun too!
But don't look at this like an handicap, this is feeding the negativitiy. There is still no scientific consesus as far as I know that our ears are more sensitive than "healthy" ones.
Now I agree on taking useless risks, like concerts/pubs without hearing-protection, also a nightclub can be very loud even with protection, so you shouldn't search problems. But don't look at it like sitting in a wheelchair, because than you'll start searching problems everywhere. That's where I am now.
THIS is where I am now.

"Oh, there might be a loud car passing by there" "That can be loud because there are children there" "riding my bike in the wind is also bad for my ears because of the wind" "Noise of my car is too much when I go over 130/h"
"The coffee-bean grinder is too loud" "I can't vaccuum with this vaccuum-cleaner" "I can't work/go at that concert"
"It's a dinner-party with HOW many people, and how loud is the restaurant?" "I can't go for a run because my ears might not enjoy the impact" "I can't go and throw away the glass"
Need I go on?

 

[Kolisar]

tinnitus is very hard to describe.

It is. I found the following sites that, combined, allowed me to construct a fairly good facsimile of my tinnitus (I was able to determine three of the 4 or so tones I hear, plus the hissing).

https://www.soundrelief.com/tinnitus/sounds-tinnitus/

http://www.szynalski.com/tone-generator/

Hopefully they, and possibly others you find, will help you be ablate demonstrate what you experience to those who care enough to ask.

 

[Kolisar]

But don't look at it like sitting in a wheelchair, because than you'll start searching problems everywhere. That's where I am now.
THIS is where I am now.

"Oh, there might be a loud car passing by there" "That can be loud because there are children there" "riding my bike in the wind is also bad for my ears because of the wind" "Noise of my car is too much when I go over 130/h"
"The coffee-bean grinder is too loud" "I can't vaccuum with this vaccuum-cleaner" "I can't work/go at that concert"
"It's a dinner-party with HOW many people, and how loud is the restaurant?" "I can't go for a run because my ears might not enjoy the impact" "I can't go and throw away the glass"
Need I go on?

You are correct. It was not my intention to imply that @MikeB1996 should become a shut-in. I have in many posts advocated the exact opposite.

Thank you @JurgenG for pointing out my point was not correctly presented, or at the very best, presented in an ambiguous way that may result in the intended recipient doing the exact opposite of what would help and I intended to imply.

@MikeB1996, please take @JurgenG 's advice into consideration. he was able to articulate what I believe it correct and point out where my words inadvertently presented incorrect advice.