I Feel Like I'm Losing My Life

[Santiago Biagi]

My hyperacusis has been remarkably better. Pretty much non-existent.

But my tinnitus has been really present. I've lost my ability to manage situations, I drift away or escape from meetings or the university. I've always have that low ever-present high pitches in sound. I can't focus on anything. Besides my hearing not fully recovered on my right ear.

I thought I was doing OK, but now 8 months in I'm more of a train wreck. And I feel like I'm wasting everybody's time, my loving GF, my family, my friends. There's so much I want to do with them but can't because I don't enjoy it myself.

I'm having really, really dark thoughts, and worsened by the fact that I just moved alone.

Been smoking like a chimney BTW, a pack a day or more. Nothing else can calm me down a bit.

Don't know what to do...

 

[yonkapin]

You'll continue to adapt and feel better over time, trust me. I know things feel dark and lonely right now and it feels like there's no light at the end of the tunnel but there is. Time is the greatest healer of all wounds.

8 months is a short amount of time, continue to power through and you'll slowly get better.

Try to stop smoking though, not good for the ears or your health in general.

When I had severe hyperacusis and my tinnitus was going crazy the best thing I found that helped me was exercise: long distance running, HIIT (high intensity interval training), lifting weights, rowing, hiking, etc.

Rigorous exercise, 4 to 5 times a week, will do wonders for your anxiety and depression. It's a much better alternative to punching packs of darts on the daily. Used to be a heavy smoker myself and understand the urge to smoke when stressed.

But really, anytime I come back onto the forums I try to encourage anyone going through extreme stress and depression to at least engage in some form of regular, rigorous physical activity regularly. It's amazing how you'll feel after a while.

Anyway, good luck man!

 

[Hayden Gooddy]

I feel this way sometimes man, but nowadays my life is almost completely normal again.

It's the cross we carry, everybody has one, this is ours. It will get better as you get used to it.

If you don't yet, I recommend getting some high quality earplugs. Helps me still go to concerts, bars and sport events. Really anything I want to do.

You'll be ok!

 

[Santiago Biagi]

I know this is and old thread of mine, but now almost 4 years after onset, my tinnitus and occasional hyperacusis no longer bother me.

It's just the faint soundtrack of my life and don't even think of it anymore, I even "enjoy" the sound when in bed in total silence, my brain has accepted its presence. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for everyone.

I'm living a normal life, I go to cinemas with minor hearing protection just in case, theme parks and this experience has strengthened my relationships, of those who truly care for me. And most of all it has given me courage to face everything life throws at me.

Just wanted to update this dark thread. Hope everyone is doing OK and if not, please reach out to me.

 

[kuromi]

my brain has accepted its presence

I'm 6 months in and feel like I'm getting to this stage. My tinnitus has started to bother me less and less and I don't think about it much anymore, it's stable and much easier to live with, but I'm curious to know how your experience progressed.

And in terms of cinemas, what do you mean by minor protection?

 

[Sayeed]

I know this is and old thread of mine, but now almost 4 years after onset, my tinnitus and occasional hyperacusis no longer bother me.

It's just the faint soundtrack of my life and don't even think of it anymore, I even "enjoy" the sound when in bed in total silence, my brain has accepted its presence. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for everyone.

I'm living a normal life, I go to cinemas with minor hearing protection just in case, theme parks and this experience has strengthened my relationships, of those who truly care for me. And most of all it has given me courage to face everything life throws at me.

Just wanted to update this dark thread. Hope everyone is doing OK and if not, please reach out to me.

This is amazing. I wish everyone would come back years later and tell us about their progress as we mostly hear the bad stuff.

I have a few questions if you don't mind.

Were you on meds at all during this time?

Are you still smoking?

Did it take all 4 years to get to this point?

Is your tinnitus pitch and tone the same level?

At initial onset, did you have muscle pain in the neck, face etc?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Simon85]

but now almost 4 years after onset, my tinnitus and occasional hyperacusis no longer bother me.

Thanks for coming back and sharing the good news.

 

[AliasM]

now almost 4 years after onset, my tinnitus and occasional hyperacusis no longer bother me.

Was your tinnitus ever loud and intrusive?

You describe your tinnitus as low and faint. I think I could definitely live with mine if it was as you describe.

I'm glad to read you are in a good place. All the best.

 

[Tanni]

I know this is and old thread of mine, but now almost 4 years after onset, my tinnitus and occasional hyperacusis no longer bother me.

It's just the faint soundtrack of my life and don't even think of it anymore, I even "enjoy" the sound when in bed in total silence, my brain has accepted its presence. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for everyone.

I'm living a normal life, I go to cinemas with minor hearing protection just in case, theme parks and this experience has strengthened my relationships, of those who truly care for me. And most of all it has given me courage to face everything life throws at me.

Just wanted to update this dark thread. Hope everyone is doing OK and if not, please reach out to me.

Thank you for coming back and telling us this. I'm really pleased for you.

 

[Santiago Biagi]

I'm 6 months in and feel like I'm getting to this stage. My tinnitus has started to bother me less and less and I don't think about it much anymore, it's stable and much easier to live with, but I'm curious to know how your experience progressed.

And in terms of cinemas, what do you mean by minor protection?

I had multiple tones for more than a year. It settled to a constant white noise. It was loud in the beginning, but I can't tell if the volume has lowered or if my reaction to it changed. As you all know and or will experience, it's mostly the awareness of the sound that manages the volume.

Regarding cinemas, i just wear some regular earmuffs if the movie is heavy on loud sounds, like I did on King Kong vs Godzilla. I know my hearing is sensible so I get cautious, just in case. That way I can enjoy the movie without worrying about extremely loud sounds.

Was your tinnitus ever loud and intrusive?

You describe your tinnitus as low and faint. I think I could definitely live with mine if it was as you describe.

I'm glad to read you are in a good place. All the best.

It FELT intrusive and loud for a year or two. Hang in there bud, you are in the early stages, it gets easier but change takes time. Make sure to not give up, you'd regret giving up when you are in a better place and look back on these turbulent times. Even if your life takes incredible effort right now, waiting it out does pay off.

This is amazing. I wish everyone would come back years later and tell us about their progress as we mostly hear the bad stuff.

I have a few questions if you don't mind.

Were you on meds at all during this time?

Are you still smoking?

Did it take all 4 years to get to this point?

Is your tinnitus pitch and tone the same level?

At initial onset, did you have muscle pain in the neck, face etc?

Thanks in advance.

Well most people just forget about tinnitus when they progress, like i did, so they lurk the forum for comfort in the early stages of their tinnitus journey and never login again when they are in a better place; they have other priorities by then. I came here because of a Tinnitus Talk Newsletter I received by email.

I never took meds for tinnitus.

I haven't been giving tinnitus attention since 2020, and stopped having distress from it by early 2019.

I have multiple tones that amount to a sort of constant white noise. If I focus I can find each one, but that's if I really really try to find them.

Yeah I still smoke half a pack a day. I developed an anxiety disorder amidst the COVID-19 pandemic and have been on minor medication since January, so giving up is not on my priority list right now. I plan to give up sometime, like most smokers say they do.

I never had any pain in my face or neck. I had massages that relieved my tension and made me feel better but had little effect on my tinnitus.