I Feel the Need to Vent

[Ed209]

Hey Ed, not all of you is broken so hold onto that.
It's a huge betrayal for your Mom and probably triggered her deepest fears about something no longer being a secret.
You can help by just being alongside her, hard as that may be. Sometimes it takes decades to work through trauma sadly.
@Ed209

I agree. This has been going on for over 2 decades now and it comes in waves, but this is possibly the worst she's ever been. I'll support her through it and I'm sure we'll get there together.

I'm ok in myself as I have good coping mechanisms learnt through years of struggling with serious health problems, but I do have days where the dam begins to crack. Seeing someone you love so damaged is really difficult and it can be incredibly draining as well.

Thanks for taking the time to reach out. It's really appreciated and I sincerely hope you find some respite from your tinnitus.

PS: I'm sorry for exposing you to my c-bomb

 

[MBH]

I truly feel what you are going thru and totally relate the way you are taking care of your mother. I also dealt with not good medical people. But her overall health is what you want. If you have to second guess medical people go for it. You want to be as well as you both can be.

 

[jimH]

@Ed209 As far as the guys that I have met and interacted with here, they don't come any better than you, my friend!

All I have to offer you is to be a sincere, caring and compassionate listener. Unfortunately, there's little else I can do that would make you feel any better.

Just remember, that there are people here that genuinely care about you and what you're going through even though there is little more that we can do but offer you some kind words and emotional support.

 

[Lane]

For me the most important aspect of your post is that karma is not punishment. So many of us pen our circumstances, be it tinnitus or otherwise, on deeds of our past. It is healing and revealing to truly believe that karma has nothing to do with punishment. I hope Ed, myself and others take these word to heart. We have enough beating us up with tinnitus and otherwise; we need to release the emotional strain on our bodies with thoughts of retribution for our past. Thank you for the post.

Hey @Christopher805 -- I've thought about some of your comments since you posted them a few weeks ago, and wondered whether or not to share another important facet of karma you might find interesting. Which is that everybody eventually works through all their accumulated karma. When that happens, they no longer need to continue on the wheel of reincarnation. This wrapping up of our karma then leads to "spiritual freedom" (the birthright of all Souls). So in a sense, we're all--no matter what religion or particular orientation--on a common spiritual journey.

Regarding karmic resolution, the amount of time, or the number of incarnations it takes to achieve this is mostly up to us. How much do we want it? How much are we willing to commit to achieving it? The good news is that once a person decides this is an important goal to pursue, the finishing up of our karma can usually be accomplished in a single lifetime. One other important note: much of that accumulated karma can be worked out in the dream state, and doesn't necessarily have to manifest in our physical lives.

I find it interesting that most people who are preparing for death make sure all their material affairs are in order, with one of those affairs being sure that all bills are paid. But most people seldom think in terms of making sure their "karmic debts" have been taken into account, and handled appropriately. It's possible to do that, but it seems most people are unaware that this can be accomplished--or how important it can be. -- I hope you're doing alright these days!

 

[Rajin]

Feel better, you have helped me man. Never knew you had all these other problems.

 

[Ed209]

Feel better, you have helped me, man. Never knew you had all these other problems.

Life can be brutal, Rajin, but it's all part of the journey my friend. Just as Winston Churchill once said: "if you're going through hell, keep going."

My mom is still battling and her situation really hasn't improved all that much even though they've changed her drugs and whatnot. Her CBT starts soon.

 

[Ed209]

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed as my mom is at rock bottom and suicidal again. I do all the heavy lifting and it's taking a toll on me. The help just isn't there, and the help she did get last time made her worse as they royally screwed up. This means that she no longer trusts them to help her. Life can be hard going at times, and I still haven't got the proper use of my hands which is affecting my work, just to add to the misery.

I'm still waiting for a urology diagnosis - it was put on the back burner because of the coronavirus - and I'm still waiting for help regarding my knees and shoulders. I had an X-ray and haven't heard anything since. Everything's a bit doom and gloom.

 

[Zugzug]

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed as my mom is at rock bottom and suicidal again. I do all the heavy lifting and it's taking a toll on me. The help just isn't there, and the help she did get last time made her worse as they royally screwed up. This means that she no longer trusts them to help her.

IIRC, you are referring to PTSD from severe COVID-19 and watching someone die next to her? That sounds awful. You are in my thoughts.

 

[Ed209]

IIRC, you are referring to PTSD from severe COVID-19 and watching someone die next to her? That sounds awful. You are in my thoughts.

It goes way beyond that for my mom, but that didn't help matters.

 

[Steph1710]

I know the debate about negativity has been aired already, but I'd like to raise the point that somebody took the time to create a fake account today, just so they could laugh at what I'm going through.

This is the worst of the worst!! I can't believe somebody would be that much of a loser to go through the effort of making an account to try and belittle you.

Like you said though, you have to pity someone who would be that pathetic. I sincerely hope you're okay Ed?

I know people say "water off a duck's back", and "words can't hurt me" etc. - but words do hurt. And they stick with us especially when we're already feeling emotionally vulnerable.

I am glad to hear your mother seems to finally be receiving some decent help. CBT can be immensely helpful.

When it comes down to your own health though, I'm sorry I have no suggestions... I wish I did

But anyway, let me take the opportunity to say a Massive congratulations on the baby news!

 

[Ed209]

This is the worst of the worst!! I can't believe somebody would be that much of a loser to go through the effort of making an account to try and belittle you.

Like you said though, you have to pity someone who would be that pathetic. I sincerely hope you're okay Ed?

I know people say "water off a duck's back", and "words can't hurt me" etc. - but words do hurt. And they stick with us especially when we're already feeling emotionally vulnerable.

I am glad to hear your mother seems to finally be receiving some decent help. CBT can be immensely helpful.

When it comes down to your own health though, I'm sorry I have no suggestions... I wish I did

But anyway, let me take the opportunity to say a Massive congratulations on the baby news!

Thank you, Steph. Most of this thread is from last year, though, so the fake account stuff is old news. My mom never received CBT because the coronavirus stopped all face-to-face meetings, and then a month later she caught COVID-19 and nearly died. She is now in a really bad way.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Thank you, Steph. Most of this thread is from last year, though, so the fake account stuff is old news. My mom never received CBT because the coronavirus stopped all face-to-face meetings, and then a month later she caught COVID-19 and nearly died. She is now in a really bad way.

Sorry to read this, Ed. It's so hard when those we care about are suffering.

 

[Steph1710]

Thank you, Steph. Most of this thread is from last year, though, so the fake account stuff is old news. My mom never received CBT because the coronavirus stopped all face-to-face meetings, and then a month later she caught COVID-19 and nearly died. She is now in a really bad way.

Oh my goodness! I am so sorry I dragged all this up for you! I didn't even realise it was an old post - my apologies Ed x

Really damn sorry to hear about your mum being in a worse state now. The amount of people who haven't had the help they desperately need because of COVID-19. It's a desperate situation all round.

All I can say is things are starting to slowly open back up, maybe CBT will be an option again soon? I really hope something can be done. The thought of anyone suffering is so sad.

I hope you're doing better wise, and everyone else in your life is happy and healthy.

Anyway, hope you have a good day Ed. And again, apologies for commenting on an old post.

 

[Elmer B Fuddled]

@Ed209, I'd like to share something that a very old farmer told me, and at first I thought yeah right, but I was wrong. I was injured from an accident that tore my knee cap out and 186 stitches later and 2 weeks hospital. The doctor said that I would be lucky to walk by the age of 40. I walk very well. My wife and I have walked across Spain 3 times. Anyway the old farmer was right.

Now on we go, I have scar tissue from the accident and at one time my knee had become very stiff, talking to the farmer about it, he said I have a simple cure to help loosen that knee. Here's what you do, you take olive oil and you heat it to where it's quite warm, then you massage it into your knee all of the area that's stiff and on the scar from sewing you back up. You do this every evening when you're done and relaxing. 2 or 3 weeks of this will loosen the stiffness and soften the tissue.

As he said, I'm walking proof it works.

Give it a try.

Life is difficult. I went through a lot of the same with my father.

Elmer

 

[Ed209]

Oh my goodness! I am so sorry I dragged all this up for you! I didn't even realise it was an old post - my apologies Ed x

Really damn sorry to hear about your mum being in a worse state now. The amount of people who haven't had the help they desperately need because of COVID-19. It's a desperate situation all round.

All I can say is things are starting to slowly open back up, maybe CBT will be an option again soon? I really hope something can be done. The thought of anyone suffering is so sad.

I hope you're doing better wise, and everyone else in your life is happy and healthy.

Anyway, hope you have a good day Ed. And again, apologies for commenting on an old post.

I posted in this thread as the situation has become really bad again, so it's not your fault. I don't think she wants CBT anymore, so I'm not sure what the next step will be. Your kindness is really appreciated, though.

 

[Ed209]

@Ed209, I'd like to share something that a very old farmer told me, and at first, I thought yeah right, but I was wrong. I was injured from an accident that tore my knee cap out and 186 stitches later and 2 weeks hospital. The doctor said that I would be lucky to walk by the age of 40. I walk very well. My wife and I have walked across Spain 3 times. Anyway the old farmer was right.

Now on we go, I have scar tissue from the accident and at one time my knee had become very stiff, talking to the farmer about it, he said I have a simple cure to help loosen that knee. Here's what you do, you take olive oil and you heat it to where it's quite warm, then you massage it into your knee all of the area that's stiff and on the scar from sewing you back up. You do this every evening when you're done and relaxing. 2 or 3 weeks of this will loosen the stiffness and soften the tissue.

As he said, I'm walking proof it works.

Give it a try.

Life is difficult. I went through a lot of the same with my father.

Elmer

A friend of mine was in a bad motorcycle accident when he was 18. They had to reconstruct his calf muscle and they told him the same thing: he will be struggling to walk by the time he is 40.

He is a window cleaner and goes up and down ladders to this day and he is in his mid-forties.

 

[Lane]

As he said, I'm walking proof it works.

@Elmer B Fuddled -- Thanks for sharing this great story. But as conventional medicine would say--in a mantra like manner--where's the scientific evidence? Or maybe, correlation doesn't mean causation. You get the picture.

 

[Elmer B Fuddled]

@Elmer B Fuddled -- Thanks for sharing this great story. But as conventional medicine would say--in a mantra like manner--where's the scientific evidence? Or maybe, correlation doesn't mean causation. You get the picture.

Oh well at least it's home remedy and no worry about spiking your tinnitus. That old farmer had been seriously kicked by a young horse breaking his knee at the joint. It worked for him and it definitely helped me.

 

[OnceUponaTime]

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed as my mom is at rock bottom and suicidal again. I do all the heavy lifting and it's taking a toll on me. The help just isn't there, and the help she did get last time made her worse as they royally screwed up. This means that she no longer trusts them to help her. Life can be hard going at times, and I still haven't got the proper use of my hands which is affecting my work, just to add to the misery.

I'm still waiting for a urology diagnosis - it was put on the back burner because of the coronavirus - and I'm still waiting for help regarding my knees and shoulders. I had an X-ray and haven't heard anything since. Everything's a bit doom and gloom.

Awww... Sending you a big warm {{{{HUG}}}}}. Hope things are getting a little better for you, Ed. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.