Hello, I am a 21 year old female recently plagued by tinnitus. I've had this since the second to the last week of April 2016 and I feel scared, depressed, and light-headed. I'm not sure what caused it...
It was after my wisdom teeth extraction maybe a week or two weeks after that I started hearing this sound. Before this, I played my music near the ear damaging level even sometimes on it as a way to mask my parents demeaning comments. It's stupid of me to have done it, and I feel so dumb for doing something so ignorant and foolish. Also, I played the keyboard at full volume without protection and was in full blast range of my sister's french horn. I'm stressed out about this and my family who kept teasing me and brushing it off. The only people who cared were my sister and brother, whom I have a close relationship with.
I have whistling in my left ear that sometimes becomes buzzing or low whistling, and a high pitched static/whistling in my right ear. The whistling doesn't bother me at night, where all I hear is silence or static which lulls me to sleep. Sometimes, I have muddled hearing for certain frequencies so I think I have hearing loss. Stress and bad sleep elevates the ringing and some days when I get enough rest I can almost taste silence. Recently, I visited my family doctor to explain the condition and hearing "permanent" and "no-cure" really scares me. He prescribed me anti-histamines, thinking that it could be a problem with allergies or sinuses. He told me to report back to him in two weeks if I still hear the ringing or whistling. To make matters worse, my father scheduled me to an ENT next Wednesday. Yeah, it's a great thing. The doctor will hopefully tell me what my problem is or give me insight to my condition. But, my father was using it as a way to show how caring and amazing of a father he is./sarcasm He also reminded me that it might be a more serious condition after my talk with my mother who brought up the words "cancer," "melanoma," and "dad's family genetic diseases." Of course, I did the responsible and mature thing where I cussed at him. Now, in his all merciful nature, he is threatening to cancel the appointment./sarcasm I'll probably apologize, because it was partially all the stress that built up that made me explode at him like that.
The thing about my mother is that she's a fear monger. She wretches the fear hidden in your heart and shoves it into your throat so you can choke on it. She also kept me from seeing a doctor for so long because she thought it was from a collection of ear wax. She's not a doctor nor is she in the medical profession. I would describe her as the pinnacle amateur medicinal enthusiast. She works as a technician for the state's agricultural department for Pete's sake. By her advice, I put ear drops into my right ear. As I did so, I felt dizzy and almost fell on my sister as I was walking toward the living room. I asked my medical student brother about it and he says that the ear is sensitive to temperature changes so that could be it.
A couple of days later, my ears started itching and hurting like periodically in the day. There was pressure on the forehead in the middle of my eyes, underneath the bump on the bridge of my nose, and on the lower sides by my nostrils. I started sneezing, felt pressure on my face, and experienced tension on top of my head. I caught myself one time with a runny nose that only dripped once. Since then, I've had a dry nose and mouth (as is normal) since my room switches between extreme climates (depending whether the heater is on). I clench my teeth when I'm awake many times so I'm not sure if that affected my tinnitus or not. Another thing, is that I had trouble finding where I'm supposed to bite with my inner teeth at the dentist after the procedure. A few days ago, I was eating and it sort of tickled and hurt in my left ear when I bite down into food or clenched my teeth. It disappeared a few days later so I thought nothing of it.
I learned to fear brushing my teeth. Each time I cleaned the holes where my wisdom teeth had been, the tinnitus became more apparent. I'm not sure if I dislocated my jaw at one point or another. Every noise became more apparent because of this. Whether it was the water rushing in the aquarium, showering, heater, airplanes, and the flushing of the toilet, the consistent sound of whistling/buzzing persevered. Occasionally, I lie down with my glasses on and it hurts a few hours later. Other times, when I wake up I hear the sounds and I switch my sleeping position from the other ear. There are times I wake up with no noise and I count those as miracles.
I fell in a really dark place yesterday, but thankfully my talk with my sister got me out of it. I was terrified that I had acoustic neuroma, brain cancer, or some type of tumor in my brain. I read some stories on here where people needed MRI's and it's been a fear of mine that the MRI's will find something or make the tinnitus worse. Death is something I'm truly afraid of. Living is also something I'm fearful of. I'm frightened of the cost of this to my parents and the backlash that will come out of it. What if it is serious? What if it's cancer or tumor(s) or acoustic neuroma?
How am I going to pay for it? Will insurance cover this?
I don't want to leave my sister or my brother. I want to be there for them like my grandma is here for all three of us.
I want to live.
I'm afraid of wanting to live.
I rather have hearing loss that a tumor or cancer. What if I become deaf? I don't want to lose music and sounds for the rest of my life.
I don't want to leave them alone.
I don't want to die alone.
It's super rare, but I'm so, so scared. So scared, in fact, that I'm so stressed I can barely eat.
My sister comforted me by saying that no matter what she'll be there and we'll cross this hurdle together with my brother and grandma and all the people I care about. She will start a fundraiser and gather her friends and school mom (her favorite teacher who she considers as a mother) to help pay for the costs. Because people, humanity, may have their darkest flaws, but in times of adversity people show the kindness and strength that everyone has the potential for.
I cried so much that day, not to the extent when my dog died or when my grandpa did, but enough that I got dehydration the next day (with the anti-histamines). I'm so happy I have such amazing siblings that even in times of fear (when they can easily cast me aside or brush off my worries), they stick by me and comfort me (in their own way). If I get through this and hopefully it's nothing horrible or serious, I'll dedicate my life to making the world a better place. I may not be in the medical profession, but I'm an engineering major. If there is anything that anyone can take from this field, it is that engineers solve problems.
Tinnitus is my problem, and I will solve it.
It was after my wisdom teeth extraction maybe a week or two weeks after that I started hearing this sound. Before this, I played my music near the ear damaging level even sometimes on it as a way to mask my parents demeaning comments. It's stupid of me to have done it, and I feel so dumb for doing something so ignorant and foolish. Also, I played the keyboard at full volume without protection and was in full blast range of my sister's french horn. I'm stressed out about this and my family who kept teasing me and brushing it off. The only people who cared were my sister and brother, whom I have a close relationship with.
I have whistling in my left ear that sometimes becomes buzzing or low whistling, and a high pitched static/whistling in my right ear. The whistling doesn't bother me at night, where all I hear is silence or static which lulls me to sleep. Sometimes, I have muddled hearing for certain frequencies so I think I have hearing loss. Stress and bad sleep elevates the ringing and some days when I get enough rest I can almost taste silence. Recently, I visited my family doctor to explain the condition and hearing "permanent" and "no-cure" really scares me. He prescribed me anti-histamines, thinking that it could be a problem with allergies or sinuses. He told me to report back to him in two weeks if I still hear the ringing or whistling. To make matters worse, my father scheduled me to an ENT next Wednesday. Yeah, it's a great thing. The doctor will hopefully tell me what my problem is or give me insight to my condition. But, my father was using it as a way to show how caring and amazing of a father he is./sarcasm He also reminded me that it might be a more serious condition after my talk with my mother who brought up the words "cancer," "melanoma," and "dad's family genetic diseases." Of course, I did the responsible and mature thing where I cussed at him. Now, in his all merciful nature, he is threatening to cancel the appointment./sarcasm I'll probably apologize, because it was partially all the stress that built up that made me explode at him like that.
The thing about my mother is that she's a fear monger. She wretches the fear hidden in your heart and shoves it into your throat so you can choke on it. She also kept me from seeing a doctor for so long because she thought it was from a collection of ear wax. She's not a doctor nor is she in the medical profession. I would describe her as the pinnacle amateur medicinal enthusiast. She works as a technician for the state's agricultural department for Pete's sake. By her advice, I put ear drops into my right ear. As I did so, I felt dizzy and almost fell on my sister as I was walking toward the living room. I asked my medical student brother about it and he says that the ear is sensitive to temperature changes so that could be it.
A couple of days later, my ears started itching and hurting like periodically in the day. There was pressure on the forehead in the middle of my eyes, underneath the bump on the bridge of my nose, and on the lower sides by my nostrils. I started sneezing, felt pressure on my face, and experienced tension on top of my head. I caught myself one time with a runny nose that only dripped once. Since then, I've had a dry nose and mouth (as is normal) since my room switches between extreme climates (depending whether the heater is on). I clench my teeth when I'm awake many times so I'm not sure if that affected my tinnitus or not. Another thing, is that I had trouble finding where I'm supposed to bite with my inner teeth at the dentist after the procedure. A few days ago, I was eating and it sort of tickled and hurt in my left ear when I bite down into food or clenched my teeth. It disappeared a few days later so I thought nothing of it.
I learned to fear brushing my teeth. Each time I cleaned the holes where my wisdom teeth had been, the tinnitus became more apparent. I'm not sure if I dislocated my jaw at one point or another. Every noise became more apparent because of this. Whether it was the water rushing in the aquarium, showering, heater, airplanes, and the flushing of the toilet, the consistent sound of whistling/buzzing persevered. Occasionally, I lie down with my glasses on and it hurts a few hours later. Other times, when I wake up I hear the sounds and I switch my sleeping position from the other ear. There are times I wake up with no noise and I count those as miracles.
I fell in a really dark place yesterday, but thankfully my talk with my sister got me out of it. I was terrified that I had acoustic neuroma, brain cancer, or some type of tumor in my brain. I read some stories on here where people needed MRI's and it's been a fear of mine that the MRI's will find something or make the tinnitus worse. Death is something I'm truly afraid of. Living is also something I'm fearful of. I'm frightened of the cost of this to my parents and the backlash that will come out of it. What if it is serious? What if it's cancer or tumor(s) or acoustic neuroma?
How am I going to pay for it? Will insurance cover this?
I don't want to leave my sister or my brother. I want to be there for them like my grandma is here for all three of us.
I want to live.
I'm afraid of wanting to live.
I rather have hearing loss that a tumor or cancer. What if I become deaf? I don't want to lose music and sounds for the rest of my life.
I don't want to leave them alone.
I don't want to die alone.
It's super rare, but I'm so, so scared. So scared, in fact, that I'm so stressed I can barely eat.
My sister comforted me by saying that no matter what she'll be there and we'll cross this hurdle together with my brother and grandma and all the people I care about. She will start a fundraiser and gather her friends and school mom (her favorite teacher who she considers as a mother) to help pay for the costs. Because people, humanity, may have their darkest flaws, but in times of adversity people show the kindness and strength that everyone has the potential for.
I cried so much that day, not to the extent when my dog died or when my grandpa did, but enough that I got dehydration the next day (with the anti-histamines). I'm so happy I have such amazing siblings that even in times of fear (when they can easily cast me aside or brush off my worries), they stick by me and comfort me (in their own way). If I get through this and hopefully it's nothing horrible or serious, I'll dedicate my life to making the world a better place. I may not be in the medical profession, but I'm an engineering major. If there is anything that anyone can take from this field, it is that engineers solve problems.
Tinnitus is my problem, and I will solve it.
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