I Have Tinnitus and Now I'm Very Depressed and Scared

[keda]

My ear problems started two weeks before I came down with tinnitus. I went diving and had some problems equalizing and as a result experienced some barotrauma which is a common injury for divers which usually goes away on its own. One week after this, my ears felt better, it was mainly the left ear that was affected. Two weeks later i went to a party; my friends and I were close to the speaker. When i got home my left ear felt muffled again like it did when i had barotrauma after diving. In the morning the muffled feeling was gone but I noticed the ringing in my ears when I put my ear against the pillow to sleep or if i put my fingers in my ear; it sounds more like tv static, you know the sound the tv when there is no programming/signal.
I completely freaked myself out reading all the threads online and took myself to doctor in the evening. He said the left ear looked a bit red and inflamed and prescribed augmentin for a week.

It's been 4 days now and I'm very depressed. Everything in my life was going great and I was getting so excited about the future, and now I feel this could affect my future happiness forever because of my stupidity. I can't stop crying, I cancelled all my plans for the upcoming month. I tried reading some of the more hopeful stories of persons tinnitus going away to lift my spirits but a part of me just feels as though i'm fooling myself. I don't know if i can live with this for the rest of my life. I've spent the last 4 days doing nothing but moping around beating myself up.

 

[jjflyman]

My ear problems started two weeks before I came down with tinnitus. I went diving and had some problems equalizing and as a result experienced some barotrauma which is a common injury for divers which usually goes away on its own. One week after this, my ears felt better, it was mainly the left ear that was affected. Two weeks later i went to a party; my friends and I were close to the speaker. When i got home my left ear felt muffled again like it did when i had barotrauma after diving. In the morning the muffled feeling was gone but I noticed the ringing in my ears when I put my ear against the pillow to sleep or if i put my fingers in my ear; it sounds more like tv static, you know the sound the tv when there is no programming/signal.
I completely freaked myself out reading all the threads online and took myself to doctor in the evening. He said the left ear looked a bit red and inflamed and prescribed augmentin for a week.

It's been 4 days now and I'm very depressed. Everything in my life was going great and I was getting so excited about the future, and now I feel this could affect my future happiness forever because of my stupidity. I can't stop crying, I cancelled all my plans for the upcoming month. I tried reading some of the more hopeful stories of persons tinnitus going away to lift my spirits but a part of me just feels as though i'm fooling myself. I don't know if i can live with this for the rest of my life. I've spent the last 4 days doing nothing but moping around beating myself up.

I understand.
Please remember that when we are in an emotionally compromised state we don't think clearly.(I've been there)
I've had screaming loud T 2 times from acoustic trauma, and the first time (many years ago) it faded to zero in under 2 years. This time it has faded around 90% in 22 months and still slowly fading.
Your T will most likely sort itself out over the next few months. If I were you I would protected my ears from loud noise for a while, DO NOT use headphones for music, and do not have your ENT do any "procedures" to your ears, just leave them alone and let them recover.
IMO you will be fine

 

[Wolfears]

Your problem might still be related to the barotrauma and the resulting inflamation..
Standing by the speaker sure didn't help, but there's still a good chance you might beat this.

 

[keda]

Thank-you so much for replying. I'm really trying to be hopeful and patient because I know that I worry a lot and get very anxious and spiral down from there. I plan to basically remain in silence for now as I'm scared any little thing will make it worse. I normally listen to music with my headphones and sometimes i have been tempted to put them in with very very low music in an attempt to block the noise out (i've only done this twice but i'll stop).

 

[Autumnly]

I'd personally recommend not to use headphones/earbuds anymore even at low volumes but I also wouldn't recommend you to stay in a silent room. Try having some white noise or nature sounds in the background so that your brain doesn't focus solely on your tinnitus but on other sounds. Wishing you all the best!

 

[Bill Bauer]

Please check out
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/spontaneous-recovery-stats-many-recover-3-studies.21441/
and
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...eone-else-who-has-tinnitus.26850/#post-307822

 

[jimH]

I plan to basically remain in silence for now as I'm scared any little thing will make it worse. I normally listen to music with my headphones and sometimes i have been tempted to put them in with very very low music in an attempt to block the noise out (i've only done this twice but i'll stop).

I agree with @Autumnly's post. I don't think that complete silence, music with head phones or earbuds are a good idea. It's good that you intend to stop using them. I hope you stick to that.

Low background sounds, as she recommended, have also worked well for me over the years. Find those that work best for you. For some of us it's nature sounds or low volume music. I find instrumentals work well for me being that the ones I listen to (on a low volume) are not too stimulating but rather soothing and relaxing.

Being that the onset of your T is very recent, there's a very high probability that it is a temporary condition and that it will pass. So, don't assume the worst. That is, that you'll have it for the rest of your life.

One week after this, my ears felt better, it was mainly the left ear that was affected. Two weeks later i went to a party; my friends and I were close to the speaker. When i got home my left ear felt muffled again like it did when i had barotrauma after diving. .

You can see that there was an initial improvement after the first week and that your ears felt better. Then you made a big mistake by going to a party and sitting near a speaker. You simply re-aggravated the condition before you fully recovered.

Take heart, ...I believe that there's a very good chance that you'll completely recover from this. However, you need to be much more pro-active in protecting your hearing from now on.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Low background sounds, as she recommended, have also worked well for me over the years. Find those that work best for you.

I found that silence worked ok for me (about as well as the alternative). But it certainly makes sense to look into what works best for you.

 

[TuneOut]

I found that silence worked ok for me (about as well as the alternative). But it certainly makes sense to look into what works best for you.

Further noise exposure of any kind just irritates my ears more. Even sounds like the AC or running water. I need silence to quickly recover from a spike. It's never really silence, in reality. In true silence you can hear your heartbeat and the blood rushing through your veins.

 

[TuneOut]

Thank-you so much for replying. I'm really trying to be hopeful and patient because I know that I worry a lot and get very anxious and spiral down from there. I plan to basically remain in silence for now as I'm scared any little thing will make it worse. I normally listen to music with my headphones and sometimes i have been tempted to put them in with very very low music in an attempt to block the noise out (i've only done this twice but i'll stop).

Aside from avoiding loudish noise, I advise you to reduce stress and anxiety. I believe, based on my experience, that stress can worsen the tinnitus and prevent it from healing properly.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Aside from avoiding loudish noise, I advise you to reduce stress and anxiety.

Lack of sleep can also have a profound impact on T...

 

[jimH]

I found that silence worked ok for me (about as well as the alternative). But it certainly makes sense to look into what works best for you.

Agreed,...people have to discover for themselves what works best for them. You do OK with silence. I don't. When there is another sound in the room, my brain will divert it's attention from the T and focus the other sound. Whether I use music, TV, or an ocean surf sound, they all work for me. I guess it's just a form of distraction.

When there is no other sound in the room, my brain will focus on my T which then seems to become much more intrusive. Even though the volume really hasn't changed. However, that's just my experience. I sure don't expect everyone to react the same way I do.

 

[keda]

I understand.
Please remember that when we are in an emotionally compromised state we don't think clearly.(I've been there)
I've had screaming loud T 2 times from acoustic trauma, and the first time (many years ago) it faded to zero in under 2 years. This time it has faded around 90% in 22 months and still slowly fading.
Your T will most likely sort itself out over the next few months. If I were you I would protected my ears from loud noise for a while, DO NOT use headphones for music, and do not have your ENT do any "procedures" to your ears, just leave them alone and let them recover.
IMO you will be fine

When you say your tinnitus was "screaming loud", could you describe it more clearly? I honestly can only hear mine when i put my fingers to my ears or when its quiet and i have my head against the pillow.

 

[Bill Bauer]

could you describe it more clearly

He just did. His T was at a volume of a person screaming into his ear.

I honestly can only hear mine when i put my fingers to my ears or when its quiet and i have my head against the pillow.

Some people take 6-12 months to get to where you are now. Good for you.

But make sure to protect your ears. You don't want to have to experience "screaming loud" T.

 

[jjflyman]

When you say your tinnitus was "screaming loud", could you describe it more clearly? I honestly can only hear mine when i put my fingers to my ears or when its quiet and i have my head against the pillow.

Well that is good news that your T is quite mild. I think you will be fine.
What I mean is I could hear my T piercing loud over everything. It was unmaskable

 

[dpdx]

Well that is good news that your T is quite mild. I think you will be fine.
What I mean is I could hear my T piercing loud over everything. It was unmaskable

That is what my T sounds like. I hate it.....worsened by the stupid ENT/Audiologist who told me that acoustic traumas are less likely to happen then meniere/cochlear hydrops/tumors/etc.

 

[keda]

Well that is good news that your T is quite mild. I think you will be fine.
What I mean is I could hear my T piercing loud over everything. It was unmaskable

Oh I understand. I am hoping it turns out ok, but the waiting game has me fluctuating between positive and negative thoughts.