Just had a caffeinated black tea ginger beverage at around 4PM, couldn't of had more than 100mg of caffeine in it, but after drinking it I realize it has caffeine and precede to freak out that I wont get any sleep tonight, which would suck as I'm already tired/sick/tinnitus blah blah blah and down the rabbit hole. I've even had coffee before bed and slept fine before and yet this still freaks me out somehow, it's as if no rational thought has any effect. I can't believe how fragile my mind is right now it's unreal and completely exhausting.
I'm about as close to considering meds as I've ever been. Been doing therapy but it's so slow and as of yet has had little effect.
Hey Falconfox (cool name by the way) I'm sorry to hear that you're having a hard time with things right now. It takes me back to where I was in April, May, June, and July......Not fun at all.
I was seriously considering anti-anxiety meds or anti-depressants at that time, something I would normally never even dream of. I personally believe SSRI's are poison, but again that's only my opinion.
All I can really say here is that I, like many others on this forum, understand exactly where you're at. I'm still not habituated, but I'm miles ahead of where I was a couple months ago, and I never used any medications, aside from cannabis.
Whether you decide to use meds or not is totally your call, but I made it through the worst of it without them, so don't believe it can't be done. Things are very very tough for you right now, I totally understand that, and I understand how difficult it is to believe that this will ever get better, but it will. You'll find things to fill your time, your mind will become less fixated on it, and you'll move on with your life. You won't be the same as you were before, and I understand that that's an incredibly tough pill to swallow, but life can still be good.
The only constant is change, and while I know that this isn't at all the change you wanted, it is NOT the end of the world. Trust me, I know, I really do, that right now it feels like this will never get better, but it will. Slowly overtime you'll find things that help, things that don't, and reasons to continue on.
Have faith bud, if all things go well, pharmaceutical help may be right around the corner. There is more T/hearing research going on now than there EVER has been before. It's a big problem that will only get bigger as time goes on, and big pharma is always hungry for more money....
Hang in there Falcon. Please don't hesitate to private message me if you'd like. As I said before, I'm not totally habituated, but I'll more than happily share the info I've gathered thus far as well as give the best support I can to help out.
Take care, reach out anytime....
-Steve