I was much like @Bam and yourself back then. And I could never understand why there wasn't anything that helped. I didn't understand going to "professionals" who thought the problem was "ME". I was weak or whatever or OCD or on and on and on. And this did not help me at all. It made me feel worse.
I echo this one million percent. It can be torturous but many people do come through the other side and go on to live happy lives. I know this is the line that nobody wants to hear on here anymore, but it's true for so many people. By saying this, I am not trying to belittle your suffering; I am doing it to give you hope.
There is so much despair and pain in the world. A very therapeutic approach that can help is to channel your suffering into doing something positive for others. Small things like helping homeless people, or taking Christmas presents to sick children, etc, can really help us more than them. It replenishes our soul and gives us meaning. You'd be surprised at how much it can change your outlook on life.