If I Wasn’t Hanging On by a Thread Before, I Am Now...

[Ahat]

Hi-

(This is going to be long.)

I have had tinnitus since the 2nd week of April. I woke up one morning and it sounded like a refrigerator running in my left ear. My right ear had a sound I can't really describe, but can only faintly be heard in my daughter's room, the bathroom, or when plugging my ear to hear it (I know I shouldn't, but can't help it).

A couple weeks later the sounds in my left ear changed to a pure tone, a ringing sound, and some musical sound. Some days the pure tone is the loudest and the ringing sound and musical sound are faint and some days the pure tone is faint and the ringing tone and musical tone are the loudest. Right ear has stayed the same.

I'm not sure how I got it because I don't have insurance to see anyone, but I've just assumed it's from using earbuds. From mid February to mid March I was using music as an escape from my unhappiness. I didn't use the earbuds every day or even all day. Then I got a bad foot injury the week before Easter that was thought to be infected (that still hasn't completely healed), and was prescribed Cephalexin 3 times a day for 7 days and told to take acetaminophen. I was laid up and in so much pain I didn't even touch the earbuds or listen to music. I haven't used them or listened to any music since then actually. If it was the earbuds that caused tinnitus, it came 2 1/2 weeks after not using them at all. To think that I did this to myself trying to escape my unhappiness only to end up even more unhappy now is killing me. I've been having a lot of suicidal thoughts.

I went to the ER last week and they didn't do anything, but I didn't think they would. The doctor said my left ear looks red but it would be fine. Right ear had some wax but not much. Did blood work, but had problems in the lab so some results were delayed. The doctor said the results were good but couldn't tell me what they tested for specifically. I've been vegan for 5 years and was a vegetarian for 15 years before that. I've never supplemented, my diet hasn't always been great, and I haven't felt well physically for years. I really don't see how everything would be good. She also told me to get on antidepressants. Basically, I wasted my time.

I have been dealing with depression, anxiety, and OCD since I was 15 (almost 33 now) and fighting an eating disorder on and off since I was 19. I lost both of my parents within a year of each other in my early 20s and have never come to terms with it. My home life isn't great and I don't have any family or friends. I don't remember a time in the last 7 years that I haven't felt a great amount of stress.

I have 2 young kids that need me and the past 5 weeks and some days I've been useless. I've always made it a point not to cry in front of my kids because they don't need to see me unhappy, but they've seen me cry so much lately and they get sad. I was barely functioning before this.

The day I got tinnitus I freaked out and started googling. I found this site and have been reading all of the posts. I've been using earplugs whenever I leave the house for fear of making it worse. The earplugs make me feel isolated because I can't hear people to hold a conversation. I'm scared to death of noise in general now because of all of the horror stories. The people (I'm looking at you @Bill Bauer ) saying to stay away from doors, hairdryers, vacuums, dishes, etc. have made me scared to leave the house and scared to be in my house. I haven't used a hairdryer or vacuum in over 5 weeks.

I don't have insurance or the money to see an ENT or audiologist. I have kids. I can't live like this. I'm at my wits end. I would gladly live the miserable life I had before if I could get rid of this.

 

[Mellow7]

Hey Ahat,

I'm sorry to hear you have such a hard time right now. Things obviously haven't been easy for you and getting tinnitus on top of it seems to have been the straw that breaks the camels back. A lot of us have it difficult the first few months, this is perfectly normal and reasonable. I'm a grown man and have always taken pride in staying strong, despite anxieties etc., but tinnitus is also taking its toll. Crying is perfectly reasonable and helps a person cope. You need to let it out once in a while.

What often makes it even more difficult is that you don't really have a clue what is at the root of the tinnitus, since that makes you think it is harder to prevent it from getting worse. At the start, I was also roaming all the boards, looking for answers and I still haven't found them today. That is the reality of this conditions. There are no clear-cut answers, unless you can point to a clear underlying condition (such as TMJ or an ear infection), which you can then treat. I think you should make the effort to visit your GP, just so he can take a look at your ears and rule out the most likely causes for acute tinnitus. Ear wax that is in there and is removed, could also take the tinnitus away. An ear infection can always be treated with some forms of medication.

Beside that, everyone has to find his or her own way to cope. But generally, it does get better for most of us. I find myself dealing better with it after a few months now, than initially. The anxiety has taken a backseat and only rarely flares up (because of other things). I'm in the stage of feeling frustrated with my condition, but this also will get better. It will get better for you too. You just have to take control of your response to the tinnitus. Even if you can do something about it later on, you have to accept it for what it is for now. Fluctuations make that more difficult, I'm sure, but that is perfectly normal the first few weeks. It usually only settles into a recognizable pattern after a few months.

When it comes to protection, I'm sure you've read about the never ending debate that is being held in this forum. It is not a good thing to overprotect. But neither is it to disregard certain safety protocols for protecting your hearing. I think you should stop wearing hearing protection as a general rule, since it will only aggravate your sensitivity to sounds. But if you feel that it is having an averse impact on your tinnitus (a spike if you will), then I wouldn't stop protecting either. My guideline is to wear as less hearing protection as possible, whilst avoiding as much loud situations as I can. When I do have to go to an event where loud music is played or where there is a lot of background noise (even when it is a commonplace outing with colleagues), I always plug up. But try and make it not a general rule and rather the exception.

I hope I have given you some useful information with this post. Take care and good luck!

 

[jjflyman]

I think Cephalexin and Acetaminophen can both cause ringing in the ears as a side effect.
Maybe that is the cause? It will probably fade away in a few months.

 

[Ahat]

@Mellow7

Thank you. I know that I shouldn't wear ear plugs all the time but I'm scared to death of making it worse, which is making my anxiety even worse. I'm a mess and I don't know what to do.

 

[Ahat]

@jjflyman

I didn't even realize that. I just looked them up and what I read says they are ototoxic. I don't want to get my hopes up though.

 

[glynis]

@Ahat,
I would have your blood tested as anaemia can cause tinnitus.
We are here around the clock to support you and understand how you are feeling so your never alone.
Love glynis x

 

[fishbone]

Hi-

(This is going to be long.)

I have had tinnitus since the 2nd week of April. I woke up one morning and it sounded like a refrigerator running in my left ear. My right ear had a sound I can't really describe, but can only faintly be heard in my daughter's room, the bathroom, or when plugging my ear to hear it (I know I shouldn't, but can't help it).

A couple weeks later the sounds in my left ear changed to a pure tone, a ringing sound, and some musical sound. Some days the pure tone is the loudest and the ringing sound and musical sound are faint and some days the pure tone is faint and the ringing tone and musical tone are the loudest. Right ear has stayed the same.

I'm not sure how I got it because I don't have insurance to see anyone, but I've just assumed it's from using earbuds. From mid February to mid March I was using music as an escape from my unhappiness. I didn't use the earbuds every day or even all day. Then I got a bad foot injury the week before Easter that was thought to be infected (that still hasn't completely healed), and was prescribed Cephalexin 3 times a day for 7 days and told to take acetaminophen. I was laid up and in so much pain I didn't even touch the earbuds or listen to music. I haven't used them or listened to any music since then actually. If it was the earbuds that caused tinnitus, it came 2 1/2 weeks after not using them at all. To think that I did this to myself trying to escape my unhappiness only to end up even more unhappy now is killing me. I've been having a lot of suicidal thoughts.

I went to the ER last week and they didn't do anything, but I didn't think they would. The doctor said my left ear looks red but it would be fine. Right ear had some wax but not much. Did blood work, but had problems in the lab so some results were delayed. The doctor said the results were good but couldn't tell me what they tested for specifically. I've been vegan for 5 years and was a vegetarian for 15 years before that. I've never supplemented, my diet hasn't always been great, and I haven't felt well physically for years. I really don't see how everything would be good. She also told me to get on antidepressants. Basically, I wasted my time.

I have been dealing with depression, anxiety, and OCD since I was 15 (almost 33 now) and fighting an eating disorder on and off since I was 19. I lost both of my parents within a year of each other in my early 20s and have never come to terms with it. My home life isn't great and I don't have any family or friends. I don't remember a time in the last 7 years that I haven't felt a great amount of stress.

I have 2 young kids that need me and the past 5 weeks and some days I've been useless. I've always made it a point not to cry in front of my kids because they don't need to see me unhappy, but they've seen me cry so much lately and they get sad. I was barely functioning before this.

The day I got tinnitus I freaked out and started googling. I found this site and have been reading all of the posts. I've been using earplugs whenever I leave the house for fear of making it worse. The earplugs make me feel isolated because I can't hear people to hold a conversation. I'm scared to death of noise in general now because of all of the horror stories. The people (I'm looking at you @Bill Bauer ) saying to stay away from doors, hairdryers, vacuums, dishes, etc. have made me scared to leave the house and scared to be in my house. I haven't used a hairdryer or vacuum in over 5 weeks.

I don't have insurance or the money to see an ENT or audiologist. I have kids. I can't live like this. I'm at my wits end. I would gladly live the miserable life I had before if I could get rid of this.

I salute you for being such a warrior. You are going to be just fine with your tinnitus. Do protect your ears, but DO NOT over protect and become obsessed. Over protection can lead to Fear , Paranoia, OCDs and possibly hyperacusis. It's a good idea to protect your ears in KNOWN loud spots (sporting events, shows, concerts,parties).

It takes time to get a grip on this matter, but in time you SHALL cope, adjust and move forward in your life

This board and myself will always be here to support you and all who suffer...

PS- Stress, anxiety are just as bad as loud sounds. They can make the tinnitus louder. Certain meds can also bring on tinnitus and make them worst...

 

[jjflyman]

@jjflyman

I didn't even realize that. I just looked them up and what I read says they are ototoxic. I don't want to get my hopes up though.

Don't feel too bad, I had to look them up too.
You've had your T for only 5-6 weeks, so it is way way way too early to think it is permanent. It is very likely to fade over the next 6 months or so. Not everybody's T is permanent. in fact, the vast majority of people who get T it resolves's itself over time, but it is very slow to fade. Protect your ears for a while, and be careful of what medications you use

 

[Samantha R]

@Ahat
I think that while the tinnitus is clearly distressing you, so is your pre-existing anxiety and depression.
Are you being treated for these?
I have young children as well and we must get better for them. They need us.
Are you under the care of a doctor or psychiatrist? I'm not saying I'm an advocate for medication, but I think in cases of severe depression, OCD and anxiety, they have their place. There are also natural alternatives like St Johns Wort or 5htp.
How are you sleeping?
Try not to fear every day sounds. I use ear plugs when vacuuming and drying my hair, and I keep some in my handbag when I'm out. I don't wear them all the time, as I think I'd go crazy as I'd be listening to my tinnitus all day.
Where do you live?

 

[Ahat]

@Ahat
I think that while the tinnitus is clearly distressing you, so is your pre-existing anxiety and depression.
Are you being treated for these?
I have young children as well and we must get better for them. They need us.
Are you under the care of a doctor or psychiatrist? I'm not saying I'm an advocate for medication, but I think in cases of severe depression, OCD and anxiety, they have their place. There are also natural alternatives like St Johns Wort or 5htp.
How are you sleeping?
Try not to fear every day sounds. I use ear plugs when vacuuming and drying my hair, and I keep some in my handbag when I'm out. I don't wear them all the time, as I think I'd go crazy as I'd be listening to my tinnitus all day.
Where do you live?

You're right. I'm positive that my depression and anxiety are making this 1000x worse and I'm not sleeping either. I've never really gotten more than 3 maybe 4 hours of sleep a night because I stay awake all night thinking and worrying and now it's worse.

I'm not being treated. I haven't had insurance for years, so I'm kind of stuck. I was never taken seriously when I was younger either. It was just brushed off as me being a teenager with an attitude. As far as the OCD goes, some of my siblings (whom I don't speak to anymore) used to really make fun of me for it, so I just dealt with it silently after a while.

I'm trying to talk myself out of wearing earplugs everywhere, but I haven't gotten there yet. The fear is crippling.

 

[Samantha R]

@Ahat
I know how crippling OCD can be. My friend had it severely. I remember her going crazy driving around the block because she thought she'd hit someone with her car and she was trying to find them in case they were injured or she'd killed them.... Of course she hadn't hit anyone, but that was how bad her OCD was.
She is on medication now, and while there are subtle signs she has it, it is so much better.
I take it you are in the US? I really think you have to go to a doctor urgently. Are there options if you don't have insurance? You certainly need help to get you through this crisis.
I think maybe your OCD is at play with the earplugs, but I understand your fear.

 

[Ahat]

@Samantha R

I am in the US. I don't qualify for help from the state because I live with the father of my children (unfortunately and also a long story). I have to list his income and he makes more than they allow.

 

[Samantha R]

@Ahat
OK, sounds complicated for you.
I hope you can work out a way to see a doctor, I think you need to urgently.

 

[glynis]

@Ahat,
Try a natural sleeping tablet from the chemist or Melatonin or somthing off your doctor to help you sleep and it will help you cope better and stronger in the day.
Playing relaxing music will help keep you calm and a nice break from your tinnitus.
Love glynis

 

[Alex Murray]

Hi Ahat,

I hope you're doing okay and I want you to know you're not alone (I know how useless that is to hear when you're feeling like this)

I really wanted to post to assure you this is going to be okay and you will move past this. Tinnitus is scary and horrible and it's impossible to see how you'll every live normally again when it hits. But you will be fine. I've lived with tinnitus for over a decade and I've been in your shoes. I did a lot of research and learned that the sound part of the brain and the part of the brain the processes emotions are RIGHT next door to each other. So when you feel anxious/depressed you tune into the tinnitus as you hear it ALL THE TIME and vice versa. This happened to me and living each day was so so hard. I understand what you mean when you say conversations with people literally go in one ear and out the other BUT this will go away. It's not forever.

I live a normal and happy life now. I hear my tinnitus daily but I promise it fades into the background and you can live like you have done before. As I'm writing this I'm hearing it loudly...in both ears, but It doesn't scare me as I know it will fade into the background soon. I promise you can move past this feeling. I 100000% recommend relaxation and not reading all the scary/intense comments and doing things normally! HOOVER if you want Shit happens and this is really shit but it will NOT sound like this and make you feel this awful forever.

 

[Ed209]

The day I got tinnitus I freaked out and started googling. I found this site and have been reading all of the posts. I've been using earplugs whenever I leave the house for fear of making it worse. The earplugs make me feel isolated because I can't hear people to hold a conversation. I'm scared to death of noise in general now because of all of the horror stories. The people (I'm looking at you @Bill Bauer ) saying to stay away from doors, hairdryers, vacuums, dishes, etc. have made me scared to leave the house and scared to be in my house. I haven't used a hairdryer or vacuum in over 5 weeks.

Hi Ahat, you have a lot on your plate and your tinnitus is just compounding it. In my opinion, you haven't helped your situation by wearing earplugs everywhere. This can make your ears more sensitive, but more importantly, it creates a psychological barrier to sound. An aversion. This fear feeds the anxiety loop and can make ones symptoms worse.

You need to relearn that not all sound is bad if you want to feel better. This maybe very difficult to achieve on your own, so please confide in friends and family, and get some help. It doesn't have to be professional (if you don't have access to professionals) you can still help yourself by learning to slowly change your behaviour. Different forms of OCD and anxiety seem to go hand in hand with tinnitus which makes it harder to cope with.

So going forward, try not to isolate yourself. Be as proactive as possible and try not to ruminate about all your worries. If you feel yourself over-thinking your problems, do an activity to take your thoughts elsewhere. Disrupt them before they consume you.

Take care.

 

[Ahat]

Hi Ahat,

I hope you're doing okay and I want you to know you're not alone (I know how useless that is to hear when you're feeling like this)

I really wanted to post to assure you this is going to be okay and you will move past this. Tinnitus is scary and horrible and it's impossible to see how you'll every live normally again when it hits. But you will be fine. I've lived with tinnitus for over a decade and I've been in your shoes. I did a lot of research and learned that the sound part of the brain and the part of the brain the processes emotions are RIGHT next door to each other. So when you feel anxious/depressed you tune into the tinnitus as you hear it ALL THE TIME and vice versa. This happened to me and living each day was so so hard. I understand what you mean when you say conversations with people literally go in one ear and out the other BUT this will go away. It's not forever.

I live a normal and happy life now. I hear my tinnitus daily but I promise it fades into the background and you can live like you have done before. As I'm writing this I'm hearing it loudly...in both ears, but It doesn't scare me as I know it will fade into the background soon. I promise you can move past this feeling. I 100000% recommend relaxation and not reading all the scary/intense comments and doing things normally! HOOVER if you want Shit happens and this is really shit but it will NOT sound like this and make you feel this awful forever.

Thank you for the advice. I'm really trying to calm myself down because in the end it won't kill me. It's just really hard, but I think if I could get my anxiety and depression under control it would be much easier. Hopefully I will get there sooner rather than later.

 

[Ahat]

Hi Ahat, you have a lot on your plate and your tinnitus is just compounding it. In my opinion, you haven't helped your situation by wearing earplugs everywhere. This can make your ears more sensitive, but more importantly, it creates a psychological barrier to sound. An aversion. This fear feeds the anxiety loop and can make ones symptoms worse.

You need to relearn that not all sound is bad if you want to feel better. This maybe very difficult to achieve on your own, so please confide in friends and family, and get some help. It doesn't have to be professional (if you don't have access to professionals) you can still help yourself by learning to slowly change your behaviour. Different forms of OCD and anxiety seem to go hand in hand with tinnitus which makes it harder to cope with.

So going forward, try not to isolate yourself. Be as proactive as possible and try not to ruminate about all your worries. If you feel yourself over-thinking your problems, do an activity to take your thoughts elsewhere. Disrupt them before they consume you.

Take care.

Thank you for the reply.

I'm still trying to talk myself out of wearing earplugs everywhere outside the house. I'm just now getting to the point where I'm not nervous about all of the sounds in my house (slamming doors, kids being loud, dishes, etc.). Those sounds have never hurt my ears, but I was nervous about the damage being done.

I really just need to stay away from the negative posts online because everyone's situation is different and what happens to everyone else isn't going to necessarily happen to me.

If I can get help with all of my other problems then I think I will be okay in the end.

 

[Ginagg738]

Hi Ahat... I read your story and I just wanted to encourage you. I cry a lot myself because of my tinnitus and the way it suddenly came on. I had inner ear surgery and was not told that it could be a side effect by my doctor. I was actually told by his smart #$% nurse that it was not suppose to happen and that a little tinnitus doesn't hurt anyone. I told her that it is not a little, it is freaking blaring and she laughed at me. So I am doing everything in my power to hold her and that doctor accountable for what has happened to me.

You hang in there. I'm sure your kids love you very much as mine do. I will be praying for you.