I'm Afraid I Need Some Support (Again)

[JasonP]

Oooh lexapro, thats the same as escitalopram which i just started (gulp....) which dose did you take? (If you dont mind me asking, you really dont have to answer) Did your T settled once you quit the medication?

Yeah it actually a psychiatrist who suggested id take melatonin every day, i cant remeber why i didnt wanna start with it but maybe its worth giving it a try.

Yeah right now i cant be off meds unfortunatley. Im in a to bad place. Ive tried many Times to quit sertralin but its sooo hard to manage and right now i shouldnt even begin to try (recently just increased the dose pretty much instead)

But in the longterm i would like to take as little as possible. And manage with no benzos (or atleast very occasionally!!)

Thank you so much for posting that video! I cant watch it right now due to bad reception but i def Will!!

That was very kind of you. And thank you so much for the advice on alternative to medication!!!!

I think it was 20mg but bizarrely, it was only a minor annoyance when I was on Lexapro. It seemed less a problem. I guess because I had other issues and thought that once I quit Lexapro it would leave. You should probably be okay since you took Zoloft. Remember, I combined mine with 5-HTP. I also combined it with other substances. Bad news all the way around. I realize now I have bipolar II and the Lexapro sent me cycling and didn't do good for me.

 

[Feliicia]

@JasonP
Thank you for that information.
So sorry to hear it messed up things for you.

Oh i see, Then its good lamictal Works for you

 

[JasonP]

Yes. Lamictal works pretty good. Although I think I need something that could also calm me down from being too stimulated. I think the main problem is a circadian rhythm disorder my whole life which is caused by bright electric lights at night time when it is dark. I guess if I wanted to I could take melatonin at dark and put some blue light blocking glasses on but at this point with all the stuff that happened to me I am not sure that would be good enough. Bright lights a5 night can be very stimulating to me if the GABA system is not working right. That is why klonopin stabilized me and if it was not for this stupid tinnitus I would have been okay at a low dose without other stuff. Oh well. I hope you feel better asap.

 

[Feliicia]

@Hopeful1

Hi!

I didnt see your post til now. Thank you for your respons.

Aah its hard to know whats right and whats not. Ofc i understand you shouldnt expose yourself on purpose to loud noise, and that You simply CANT protect yourself from every sound. And its difficult to know which sounds are bad and vice versa when you got H. And constantly being a nervwreck.

But yeah its a hard balance and im not going to meet and audiologist for atleast a couple of months so i am pretty lost and Scared and dont know what to do.

So i really appriciate every advice and help i can get, thank you so much. I am def going to look at @Michael Leigh posts on this subject and hopefully learn more.


Are you suffering from H aswell?

 

[Rasmus]

Hi guys.

I am so sorry for bothering you during the hollidays, But i really need to reach out and talk to someone <3

i really understand If you dont have the time or Will to read everything!

As i wrote in a previsoluy thread, ive suffered from loud T for many years but it recently (5 weeks ago) spiked and have gotten sooo much worse (unmaskable, unbearable) i have a really really hard time right now!

Since Then it seems like EVERYTHING just keeps getting worse all the time. I went to a nurse a couple of weeks ago to check for wax as a "first step" (My reg health center adviced me to) the nurse didnt find anything but told me to do valsava manuever over and over again (every five minutes) i did it for a couple of days but Then when i was popping My ears spmething happened. It just felt so wrong , the eardrum just started to hiss when i was popping and Then BAM a totally new sound came like a lightening (and been here ever since)

Then a couple of days later i went to see an ENT and he didnt see anything wrong and told Me never to pop My ears and to quit that right away (wich i ofc already had) bcs its noo good at all. But he didnt tell me ANYTHING why or what could happen, do any of you know?

My ears have Also Been crackling sooo loud everytime i swallowes or move My jaw for a couple weeks now and even this scares me.

I have a really bad H and It seems like it happens things who destroys My ears EVERY day!!!

It happend so many "loud-noise accident" (speaker who goes bananas, babys and people who screeeeaaaams when right next to me, cars who honk, loud buses, trains and trams)

Yesterday, after many panicattacks i went on a train for 6 hour to visit My inlaws. I only did it for My boyfriend bc he Reeaaally Wanted me to Come and he has Been so kind to me. I cant even begin to tell you what A HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE THAT WAS. soooo much creaking, high pitched sounds screaming babys, loud speaker etc.

Today ive been trying sooo Hard not to cry and give My boyfriend a peaceful christmas. But when i sat on the couch beside My mother inlaw (who sat with Her Computer) from nowwhere she started a videoclip on the maxvolume (she has very bad hearing) with (OFC!) a person SCREAMING the loudest directly. It was an accident but I panicked and had to leave the room and again, cried!!

I am sooo sooo Tired of this. I am scared of EVERYTHING and soooo afraid ALL THE TIME. Afraid its going to get worse and worse!! Afraid to even leave My appartment. I am really trying to be positive and strong but Then spmething happens again..

Even the shower at My inlaws was soooo loud and "Hard" i started Crying and Crying after. Its like a phobia!!!! Im on constant fight or flight mode and i try EVERYTHING i can to protect me from LOUD sounds but it happens Anyway and im trying to accept everything that happens, BUT it breaks me apart.

The fear is almost as hard dealing with as the T/H itself!!

I am just soooooo exhausted of being so afraid and sad. And i beat Myself up EVERY DAY and blaiming myself for expose My T to horrible sounds. Im even afraid the loud crackling in My ears should worsen My T!!!

How Do you guys cope with fear and panic? And acceptance? And self-blaiming? Any kind advice?

Thank you all for being soooo supportive and wonderful people. Sorry for being SO dramatic and whining.

Wish you all happy hollidays!! Keep on fighting!!

Lots of hugs
<3

Sorry bad english before you read this.

I know you are having a hard time and i hope it gets better soon because no one should have this kind of pain in our everydays life.
I got tinnitus around 2 years ago myself and about 5 weeks ago i got reactive T and a little bit H at the same time and at the same time i also have alot of OCD :/ and that have been in my life since i was a 4 year old kid :/
On christmas night i was at my moms sister home, and i just wantet to get home because of my H it feelt like everyone was screaming in my ear most of the time.
The only time i can have it normal is when im home and playing games, because thats the only time i can focus on something else then my T H and Reactive T.
I hope mine is not going to get worse because im going to start in school again next august. and hopefully i have got use to it then so i can move on with my life.

I hope you are gonna fell better soon and i am 100% sure you will its just gonna take some time to adapt for both of us.

 

[JasonP]

Hi guys.

I am so sorry for bothering you during the hollidays, But i really need to reach out and talk to someone <3

i really understand If you dont have the time or Will to read everything!

As i wrote in a previsoluy thread, ive suffered from loud T for many years but it recently (5 weeks ago) spiked and have gotten sooo much worse (unmaskable, unbearable) i have a really really hard time right now!

Since Then it seems like EVERYTHING just keeps getting worse all the time. I went to a nurse a couple of weeks ago to check for wax as a "first step" (My reg health center adviced me to) the nurse didnt find anything but told me to do valsava manuever over and over again (every five minutes) i did it for a couple of days but Then when i was popping My ears spmething happened. It just felt so wrong , the eardrum just started to hiss when i was popping and Then BAM a totally new sound came like a lightening (and been here ever since)

Then a couple of days later i went to see an ENT and he didnt see anything wrong and told Me never to pop My ears and to quit that right away (wich i ofc already had) bcs its noo good at all. But he didnt tell me ANYTHING why or what could happen, do any of you know?

My ears have Also Been crackling sooo loud everytime i swallowes or move My jaw for a couple weeks now and even this scares me.

I have a really bad H and It seems like it happens things who destroys My ears EVERY day!!!

It happend so many "loud-noise accident" (speaker who goes bananas, babys and people who screeeeaaaams when right next to me, cars who honk, loud buses, trains and trams)

Yesterday, after many panicattacks i went on a train for 6 hour to visit My inlaws. I only did it for My boyfriend bc he Reeaaally Wanted me to Come and he has Been so kind to me. I cant even begin to tell you what A HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE THAT WAS. soooo much creaking, high pitched sounds screaming babys, loud speaker etc.

Today ive been trying sooo Hard not to cry and give My boyfriend a peaceful christmas. But when i sat on the couch beside My mother inlaw (who sat with Her Computer) from nowwhere she started a videoclip on the maxvolume (she has very bad hearing) with (OFC!) a person SCREAMING the loudest directly. It was an accident but I panicked and had to leave the room and again, cried!!

I am sooo sooo Tired of this. I am scared of EVERYTHING and soooo afraid ALL THE TIME. Afraid its going to get worse and worse!! Afraid to even leave My appartment. I am really trying to be positive and strong but Then spmething happens again..

Even the shower at My inlaws was soooo loud and "Hard" i started Crying and Crying after. Its like a phobia!!!! Im on constant fight or flight mode and i try EVERYTHING i can to protect me from LOUD sounds but it happens Anyway and im trying to accept everything that happens, BUT it breaks me apart.

The fear is almost as hard dealing with as the T/H itself!!

I am just soooooo exhausted of being so afraid and sad. And i beat Myself up EVERY DAY and blaiming myself for expose My T to horrible sounds. Im even afraid the loud crackling in My ears should worsen My T!!!

How Do you guys cope with fear and panic? And acceptance? And self-blaiming? Any kind advice?

Thank you all for being soooo supportive and wonderful people. Sorry for being SO dramatic and whining.

Wish you all happy hollidays!! Keep on fighting!!

Lots of hugs
<3

Oh, I wanted to ask you. Do you get vertigo or dizziness sometimes? Also, you mention you have a boyfriend but that you have in-laws. I'm confused about that!

 

[Cameron C]

Yeah it felt, sounded like something were squeezing, sipping out (oh my, My english) but maybe more like air i think? A very small sound, feeling in the corner of the ear if you understand what i mean :-P it didnt hurt but just felt strange and the squeezing sound.

And Then a whole new tone appeared (like a very very high pitched loud wind blowing and blowing) And it still remains. The doctor didnt se anything wrong.

My spike and Worsened T isnt because of this (this happened AFTER) but it would of course be soooooo nice if this tone could calm down a little bit!!!! Oh My! Even if the other horrible sounds remain.

How is your ear today? Did the doctor see anything wrong in your ear?

Literally exactly what I felt. Sorry to say but mines still there 3 months later. But i popped mine the day after i gave myself tinnitus. So i dont know what truly caused it. Volume lowered a bit though but i do know its there still. Highly doubt we caused more damage, our ears just might need a couple more months to seal back up is all.

 

[Feliicia]

@JasonP

Yeah i get that a lot. Esp when standing up too quickley. Why?

Ohhh i didnt even think about that. He he. No they are not my real in-laws, but me and my boyfriend been together for more than 11 years so it made sense in my head when writing. I hope noone thinks i have a boyfriend AND a husband!!

 

[Nonna]

Things started improving for me when I started wearing earmuffs. After my ears had a good rest, I could listen to things again. Pretty sure you won't develop h with a little rest. To develop h in that way would take years.

 

[Feliicia]

hi @Rasmus !!

Thank you for your kind respons! It really really warms my heart!

Oh so sorry to hear you too are suffering. What caused your T In the beginning?

I really understand how hard it is with all the sounds. It feels like knives cutting through your ears and head. And you really cant escape from it. Do you get a lot of support from your mom and sister?

Hows your OCD today? Mine TOTALLY gets fuel from T right now with all the fear and stress. So hard! Uff..

Thank you again for writing me. I really hope and believe you do get better soon! I Will keep My fingers crossed

 

[Feliicia]

@Nonna

Thank you for sharing!

Right now its hard to fear and suffer from every sound and at the same time have a loud nonstop screaming in your head.

Did you notice any change in your T? And did you wear them all day long around the clock?

 

[JasonP]

@JasonP

Yeah i get that a lot. Esp when standing up too quickley. Why?

Ohhh i didnt even think about that. He he. No they are not my real in-laws, but me and my boyfriend been together for more than 11 years so it made sense in my head when writing. I hope noone thinks i have a boyfriend AND a husband!!

@JasonP

Yeah i get that a lot. Esp when standing up too quickley. Why?

Ohhh i didnt even think about that. He he. No they are not my real in-laws, but me and my boyfriend been together for more than 11 years so it made sense in my head when writing. I hope noone thinks i have a boyfriend AND a husband!!

I was wondering if you might have Meniere's disease but that sounds like orthostatic hypotension. Be sure to drink enough water but you might want to tell the doctor that next time you see him.

 

[Hopeful1]

Are you suffering from H aswell?

Yes i do ... my H almost vanishes when i am in India where there is plenty of input to ears....but it comes back when i am in the UK as the i cant have the rich background noise that i get in India.....

 

[Feliicia]

Yes i do ... my H almost vanishes when i am in India where there is plenty of input to ears....but it comes back when i am in the UK as the i cant have the rich background noise that i get in India.....

Oh interresting. Do you also notice any change in your T ?

 

[Hopeful1]

Oh interresting. Do you also notice any change in your T ?

T is always changing i have good days and bad days.......it does not have any predicable pattern.

 

[Feliicia]

Literally exactly what I felt. Sorry to say but mines still there 3 months later. But i popped mine the day after i gave myself tinnitus. So i dont know what truly caused it. Volume lowered a bit though but i do know its there still. Highly doubt we caused more damage, our ears just might need a couple more months to seal back up is all.

Yeah sometimes it is hard to know exactly, it can be a mix of causes.

Sorry to hear yours still here, but do manage it well?

Yeah youre right, we have to be patient and hope for the best!! A couple of more months can we wait (or have to atleast no other opinon!!)

 

[Michael Leigh]

T is always changing i have good days and bad days.......it does not have any predicable pattern.

White noise generators might help you Hopeful, just a suggestion....

 

[Feliicia]

T is always changing i have good days and bad days.......it does not have any predicable pattern.

Okey, Just wondered if it also changed when in India or Uk

 

[Feliicia]

I was wondering if you might have Meniere's disease but that sounds like orthostatic hypotension. Be sure to drink enough water but you might want to tell the doctor that next time you see him.

Yeah i actually think so too. Im going to ask My doctor. And drink My water

thank you for your tips and concerns!!! Hope you are doing okey!!

 

[Hopeful1]

Okey, Just wondered if it also changed when in India or Uk

T was just random India had no direct affect on it .. but it only bothered me in the night in India

White noise generators might help you Hopeful, just a suggestion....

Yes the TRT people gave me the white noise ear plugs...the sound from them are just as annoying as my Tinnitus...so did not use them.....i shall try them for a few days and see ehat happens.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Yes the TRT people gave me the white noise ear plugs...the sound from them are just as annoying as my Tinnitus...so did not use them.....i shall try them for a few days and see ehat happens.

@Hopeful1
White noise generators take time to get used to. They also have to be used correctly to get maximum benefit from them.

1. Some people find it difficult to wear them for 8 to 10hrs straight away. I usually advise to build up the wearing time slowly over a few weeks. This gives time for a person to get used to them. I suggest to start off wearing them for 2hrs on and then taking them off 2hrs and then back on. Until a total wearing time of 8 to 10hrs per day is reached.

2. Slowly increase the wearing time. Try to keep the white noise volume below the level of your tinnitus.

3. Over time the brain habituates to the white noise and slowly pushes the tinnitus further into the background making it less noticeable. If hyperacusis is also present, the white noise desensitizes the auditory system so it is less sensitive to sound.
You need to persist with the white noise generators for them to work. Wearing them for a few days or even a week, isn't giving yourself enough time to get used to them. Anything new that we bring into our life takes time to get used to.

4. Try not to keep adjusting the volume of the white noise generators. Some people do this when they are out on the street for example, as it masks the sound of the white noise. If you keep adjust the volume of the WNG throughout the day, the brain will not learn to habituate to it.

5. It is advisable not to wear the WNGs when going to sleep. At night remove the WNGs and use a sound machine by the bedside and set the volume slightly below the tinnitus.

The key to using white noise generators and sound therapy is to be persistent and patient.
Michael

 

[Hopeful1]

@Michael Leigh

Thank you very much for your reply.

I wore WNG for half today....the ones i got go deep into the ear canal and i dont seem to like them they seem to make my pulsatile tinnitus appear(i hear PT occasionally, which started when i had AM 101 injections through my eardrum).

I guess i need to buy my own WNG...if you any good ones please let me know...

 

[Michael Leigh]

@Hopeful1 I have had private white noise generators and NHS. Two types are available to buy be warned they are expensive. BTE (Behind the ear) which resemble an hearing aid and inear. These are bullet shaped and fit in the ear canal. They are smaller and discreet. You can purchase them from www.puretone.net two white noise generaters should be worn.
Best of luck
Michael

 

[Candy]

Today left the front door, was getting in car with kids when a car beeped behind me, coz they wanted to get passed then went to pub for lunch with earplugs - music loud, went out with my drink for a bit. After that went to friends house where twice the door was slammed by kids and I was the closest to it, obviously...aargh, this evening ears loud, oasis machine on higher than usual, wonder what I'll wake up to but think it will take a few days to settle.

Was trying to do normal stuff but can see how one can become agoraphobic.

 

[Feliicia]

@Candy

Oooo So sorry to hear, I really hope (and think!) you Will get better soon! And i hope you did have a lovely day with your friend despite the bad-ear-stuff!

A lunch at a Pub sounds amazing, something I really wish to be able to enjoy in the future!

Oh its a loud and dangerous World out there. Sometimes its enough to just walk through the door and it seems like every loud accident in the World happens to you (yeah a bit dramatic I know!) Puuuuh.

 

[Rasmus]

hi @Rasmus !!

Thank you for your kind respons! It really really warms my heart!

Oh so sorry to hear you too are suffering. What caused your T In the beginning?

I really understand how hard it is with all the sounds. It feels like knives cutting through your ears and head. And you really cant escape from it. Do you get a lot of support from your mom and sister?

Hows your OCD today? Mine TOTALLY gets fuel from T right now with all the fear and stress. So hard! Uff..

Thank you again for writing me. I really hope and believe you do get better soon! I Will keep My fingers crossed

Sorry i took so long to answer :/
Im not really sure what caused my T but i think it might be because i have used headset alot back in the days, so im 99% its because some hearing damage :/

I dont have a sister(sorry i explained that wrong because my english) We were celebrating at my aunt home(i hope this is the right word i use google translate ) Yes im getting support from both my parents, since i told them about my T problem but i have not told them about my H yet but im thinking about it.

At first when i got my T my OCD was almost gone, but after i got use to my T over time, my OCD came back over time to. I guess it was because i was to scare when i got my T, and because i could never get my mind of it, because i had a very hard time.

The last 2-3 days my reactive T have been gone and im not really sure why but i hope it stays that way . And my H is only bad when im around people that talk very loud or laugh alot. Then i need to go away for a few min because it feels like someone is screaming in my ear :/ Its also pretty bad when 2 plates hit each other this really hurt my ears, when this happens. But a good thing is when people talk normal and when im watching tv and that stuff my H is not bad at all

My normal T is still the same and it have been like that for 2 years now, i dont expect that to disappear anytime soon or even at all. But my Reactive T have been gone for 2-3 days now, and i had that for about 5-6 weeks. I hope it stays that way

Thanks for response and i hope you will get better soon Sorry bad english again :/

 

[MarkS]

Sounds like me as if you're trying not to be a bother to other people and forcing yourself to be in situations that will aggravate your T/H. You have to take care of yourself, that's a priority. And being in those loud situations, is something where you explain what's going on, and leave. I assume your boyfriend is aware of this, so he'd be able to support you whenever these things take place. Make sure people you are around are aware of it so they have their kids stop screeching and not blast the speakers, and if that's too much for them to do, you simply take a breather and take a step back to atleast partially take that control back in volume.

 

[Scottrock]

Something similar happened to me today. To cheer myself up I took my wife and daughters out to spend some money on them. Thought I would buy myself some new frames seeing that in needed a new prescription. Whilst in the optometrist a small annoying child kept setting off the alarm for a bit of fun!! Went right through me and both ears have been hurting for the past 3 hours accompanied by a massive spike. Can't wrap ourselves in cotton wool but it's tough going, eh?

 

[Candy]

I know...noone wants to become that person that tells everyone to be quiet...if there was more awareness of noise damage we could just say "sorry I have tinnitus can u keep it down a little"...x

 

[Michael Leigh]

I don't think normal everyday sounds causes tinnitus to get worse or even spike. I believe people that are affected in this way have hyperacusis and it hasn't been cured and that's why many people with tinnitus have this hypersensitivity to sound which some call "Reative Tinnitus" I recently went to a venue where the sound level was 100 decibels and I had no problems at all. I stayed there for 30mins. This was just a test and not something I recommend anyone to try. I'm just mentioning this for information. My tinnitus varies, from: silent, mild, moderate or severe.
Michael